Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Vintage BV: Rusty Busty

Happy Holidays from Blind Items Exposed!  In celebration, here is an oldie from Ted Casablanca and the Awful Truth team.

One Homo Helping Blind Vice - February 1, 2007

Moi, I can hear Defamer now: Casablanca, more gray, less humpy, shocks readers, runs thinly veiled homosexual Blind Vice. Or something of that deadpan ilk they ooze so well over there. Yeah, well, get used it, is all I have to say. 'Cause, yes, yet another H-town fairy is preferring to have his fancy day-spa activities end with a palm-on-privates finale! And that palm to which I refer, natch, belongs to a handsome masseur, and the genitalia are attached to one...Rusty Busty—general nice dude and award-winning actor—about whom fans know very, very little (and, trust, Rust loves it that way). Now, isn't it interesting: Over at the superluxe Turkish Pavilion spa, where it's like a posh living room set around a series of pools, steam baths and treatment rooms, employees are expressly forbidden from venturing down into clients' nether regions. In fact, they're friggin' fired for it—if they get caught. (Granted, if the opposite occurs, as it has, certainly more than once with an Academy Award-winning actor, the client is forbidden from coming back, as it were, ever again.) So, ain't it veddy interesting that more than one male-kneading type is willing to risk his vocation on the chance to finesse all round Rusty's impressive...frame, as it were. Jeez, Rusty, is that the reason you're consistently unmarried? (Hey, at least you're not busy telling us media folk ya just haven't met the right babe, and for that, I'm terribly grateful.)
And it ain't:  Brandon Routh, Sean Hayes, Wentworth Miller

Also eliminated - Jeremy Piven

Top suspects were - Adrian Grenier, Matthew Perry, Adrian Brody, George Clooney, Chris Noth

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Bonus Blind: Threesomes Finish Off Her Relationship

Excuse the delay - this was new from Ted on Tues 12/21 -

Bonus Blind: Threesomes Finish Off Her Relationship

Poor Sheila Yabos, she has such a talent, yet she just can't seem to find happiness in bed! How very distraught we are to hear this. Because if a girl can't use a good ménage à trois (or 12) to help keep her love life together, what can she do?
Maybe try that multiple-partner thing with a guy instead of with another girl?
Nope. Didn't work, either.
Which is weird, because Sheila loves girls—in every way! See, the real problemo here is that both Sheila (whose knockers are as fierce as her professional reputation) and her man ultimately both prefer same-sex lovin' when it comes to getting down.
It's just that neither partner has really faced up to this fact—and with each other—until recently. And while every rag in town is hell-bent on trying to find out who, exactly, was the other person who busted up her Hollywood domestic life, it really wasn't one person at all.
This is simply a very beautiful couple who tried to make it work, but, ultimately, discovered they were just wired differently—particularly in bed.
Shame, too. Because Sheila has no intention of disclosing to the public the fact that she sometimes prefers girls. So, get ready for a whole host of new man-beards to be trotted out. In fact, it's already beginning.
Sheesh, doesn't Hollywood know bearding is so not worth the pain it ends up causing?
No. This town never learns.
And It Ain't: Blake Lively, Jennifer Carpenter, Sandra Bullock

Upate 1/5/11 - Ted has eliminated Blake Lively, Jennifer Carpenter, Sandra Bullock, Kate Winslet, Rachel Weisz.

Clue: March 2011 Ted says Sheila has kids.

Current top suspects: Christina Aguilera, Halle Berry

Monday, December 20, 2010

Bonus Blind! Me-Me Holds Huge Celeb Captive (In Bed)

New from Ted today -

Bonus Blind!  Me-Me Holds Huge Celeb Captive (In Bed)

Party In The U.S.A.Praise the lord for Me-Me Dallas!!! She is hands-down one of our favorite Vicers in history.
Just because Tobey Yum-Yum isn't frequenting Ms. Dallas' trailer too much anymore does not mean she's passing time on sets solo.
Oh hell no.
We just got word that Me-Me was caught (or rather, overheard) sexing up a major superstar recently…
Let's call him Wilby Whiskers.
Me-Me and Wil are acquaintances. They aren't super tight, but have tons of mutual friends and cross paths professionally.
Now, we had no idea just how close these two were until recently.
My World 2.0Yep, you guessed it! You can add "hump-buddies" to each star's versatile resume.
We all know Me-Me gives special private tours (for two) of her trailer on set, and it seems that Wilby Whiskers extends the same courtesy!
While working together a little while back, people heard very loud, moaning rumblings coming from W.W.'s trailer. Everyone knew Ms. Dallas was in there with him so the following scenario managed to still shock a few people:
"He came out, all disheveled, fixing his pants and shirt," an eyewitness tells us. "Everyone knew what had just happened, but we were all stunned."
"He actually came out of his bedroom compartment and deposited his used condom in a trash can—in front of folks."
Me-Me made her not-so-stealth exit moments later.
Damn dude, nervy, not to mention tacky as hell!
This is so wrong, yet so right.
Me-Me, you should really thank us. Not because we're hiding your sexcapades (don't think you shock too many people anymore) but because we won't reveal that you bedded W.W.
Seriously, his worshipers would murder you.
And it Ain't: Nikki Reed & Robert Pattinson, Julia Stiles & Michael C. Hall, Selena Gomez & Cory Monteith

Please see our label below for the two previous Me-Me Dallas BVs including a full list of who has been eliminated.
Top suspect: Miley Cyrus

For Wilby Whiskers:
As of Dec 23 - Ted has also eliminated Bret Michaels.
Top suspect: Justin Bieber

* Update 2/10/11 - Ted has strongly hunted/semi-revealed this to be about Miley and Justin:
"Dear Ted:
Miley Cyrus was at Justin Bieber's premiere. How good of friends are these kids? Any dish you can give about B.V.s they might have? Love reading the Vices!
—Polar Bear in Texas

Dear Cold in Texas:
You're actually quite warm, po-bear! In order you asked: Very. No, but their trailers would like to say a few words here. Thank you!"

Just as we thought!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Blind Vice: Be Careful Whose Husband You Sleep With!

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Be Careful Whose Husband You Sleep With!

Welcome back, Veronica Bee-Stings!
As we told you a few weeks ago when we introduced you to the surgically blessed Hollywood star, we assumed you all would be meeting Veronica under different circumstances. See, her sweet and sexy exterior makes A-list actresses hold on tight to their men when in the presence of Ms. B-S, and for good reason!
And V finally got caught putting her stinger where it didn't belong...
The TownSee, we've heard naughty rumblings from several of VBS' past sets.
You know, whispers of some lingering touches with this lead actor, or a lot of private time running lines with that lead actor.
Usually, it's no biggie because everyone sleeps with everyone in this town. Especially costars.
But there is one teeny, tiny problemo with one of Veronica's past conquests. You know, the fact that said stud is hitched.
The affair isn't going on as we type, but the two were certainly getting hot and heavy back during filming (we had our suspicions and only recently were they confirmed).
The poor sucker's wife found out about it and threw a s--t fit, not only on the home and work fronts (she showed up on the set), but more importantly on the Hollywood front. That's right, the wife is telling people who are telling people about what a "slut" Veronica is, in hopes of damaging the star's shiny reputation, and ultimately, Veronica's hugely promising career.
But don't count V out yet. We call her Bee-Stings for a reason, ya know? This is one very crafty broad. So while she may be cozying up to hot costars in real life, she knows how to work the behind-the-scenes folks, too.
Let's just say, we don't think the term "casting couch" is something Veronica is opposed to.
Oh, and FYI, we read the comments and know how this sounds, so let us say this right up front:
We are not talking about Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.

And it Ain't: Kristen Stewart, Rooney Mara, Sofia Vergara

Top suspect: Blake Lively and Ben Affleck

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Lainey - About that breakup

New riddle from Lainey today -

About that breakup

Dexter: The Third SeasonI mentioned yesterday that there are a few more details about one of the recent splits announced in Hollywood this week. Turns out there was someone else: his love interest this season on his tv show. Their chemistry was so crazy and so evident to everyone that writer and producers, seeing it play out on set, actually cranked up their sex scenes to capture it for show. Her career has seen a resurgence since.

Eventually the two fell in love. They were together, very close, at a Halloween party in New York this fall hosted by a famously controversial writer (this isn’t a super important detail) and those who observed them that night are not surprised now that he’s ended it with his wife.

Michael C. Hall anyone?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Michael C. Hall BV?

Dexter: The First SeasonOK, we've known since 9/14/09 that Michael C. Hall has been an Awful Truth Blind Vice.  Now news of his divorce has broken and I think we need a separate post to discuss which BV could be his.  A few readers have been asking for this for a while now anyway.  I posted various comments from Ted about MCH's BV under the "list" posts if anyone needs clues - will try and post them under this thread too.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

Blind Vice: Butter's Threat: "I Will Cut You, Bitch!"

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Butter's Threat: "I Will Cut You, Bitch!"

Before you start feeling too sorry for poor, mixed-up, closeted celeb Butter Pussy and how the babe's scared coming out will affect her and her loved ones' incomes, listen up. Butter's hardly a saint.
The Oprah Winfrey Show: 20th Anniversary CollectionFar from it.
Sometime ago, Ms. Pussy, who's really fabulous at her very celebrated career, came home from a hard day's work and her man happened to be home. But he wasn't alone:
Butter found the partner she genuinely cared for—but whom she also conveniently used (a lot) to help sell her fake heterosexuality to the gullible public—in bed. With company. And it wasn't another chick, either!
Butter's man was in bed of Ms. Pussy's employee's. How awful! How humiliating! How déclassé!
So, Butter-babe did what any megastar worth her very butch reputation would do: She got a knife and threatened to "cut" the philandering partner. And guess what?
She did! Badly. So much so, the sliced-up dude had to be taken to the hospital—and his recovery took some time.
Now, to make up for things, the cheating dude who got knifed by the always well-coiffed and formidable Butter Pussy gets regular paychecks, per their postknifing financial arrangement.
And some folks think the guy's sticking around (and getting to enjoy the fancy life), just to help Butter parlay that straight-chick image.
Well, maybe a little—and maybe a little because both players here do still care for each other. But trust, those aren't the emotional ties than bind them.
It's blood. Literally.
AND IT AIN'T: Jada Pinkett-Smith, Dolly Parton, Diane Lane

See our label below for our post on the previous Butter Pussy BV from December 2009 including a full list of who has been eliminated, and the most recent also.

Top suspect: Oprah Winfrey

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Blind Vice: TV Star Does Blow in Pepperoni Joint

New from Ted today-

Blind Vice: TV Star Does Blow in Pepperoni Joint

If anyone's been wondering why the very funny Coco Crack-Head, who used to have a most natural figure, has recently become bone-thin, we have a pretty good clue as to why:
The bitch is doing blow in public and not even being cool about it! Like, at all.
Coco, who genuinely does have a kind of goofy talent on her popular prime-time show, was recently out to dinner with her sister and friends. Over at Oak Fire Pizza in West Hollywood. Everybody was having pizza and beer, but, not our Coco—she was guzzling a martini and generally making a fool of herself while gushing nonsense about her "beautiful" sister.
Fellow diners thought the poor babe was just drunk until one of them followed Coco to the restroom.
The nosy pizza-eater waited her turn for Coco to come out of the stall, then went into the one Ms. Crack-Head had just exited.
Guess what Coco had left all over the toilet-paper dispenser? And, no, it wasn't remains of her dinner, which she'd just brought back up (though that's not a bad guess).
Coco had actually left behind the remnants of all the coke she'd just chopped up and snorted! For any one to see!
Jeez, is it so much trouble to take a little toilet paper and wipe it up, babe? Or were you just too high to notice?
We suspect Ms. Crack-Head wants people to know what a druggie she really is, because—much to her sister's dismay—Coco was showing her table mates (and those nearby) pictures of lines of coke on her I-phone, daring folks to guess what it was. Hmm...drug addicts amuse themselves so well, huh?
Jeez, how long is before Coco realizes she just becoming another Lindsay Lohan, already? Or is that what she wants, just for the notoriety?
And, for the record, Coco, nobody believes that accident you had awhile back was for the reason you stated. Guess we know now what caused it!
And It Ain't: Selena Gomez, Chelsea Handler, Yvonne Strahovski

Update 6/22/12 - Ted has eliminated Selena Gomez, Chelsea Handler, Yvonne Strahovski, Mischa Barton, Jenna Fischer, Amy Poehler, any SNL staple, Whitney Houston, Bijou Phillips, Sarah Hyland, Naya Rivera, Heather Morris, Demi Lovato

Top suspects: January Jones OR AnnaLynne McCord (see comments)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Blind Vice: Hollywood Hunk Wants to Go Gay!

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Hollywood Hunk Wants to Go Gay!

Newbie Vice dude, Brock Rock-Buns, is somewhat of an Awful Truth fixture.
His perfectly chiseled bod, impressive hair, and swoon-worthy smile make many of us lust after him, that's for sure.
Brock hit the big time, thanks to his part in a mega successful franchise, and while he has a little Nevis Devine in him (you know, has dabbled with men before but prefers gals), he's approached those working on his current film to...make his character a little gayer!
Kellan Lutz Signed Eclipse 8x10 #1A source on said project dishes to us that Brock wants "more homoerotic scenes" with his character in the upcoming flick. And we are assured this was not said in a joking matter.
Rock-Buns is aware that he's got a gay and straight fan club, and just wants to give the people equally what they want!
Too funny.
BRB has definitely teased many of us all sweaty and shirtless before (on and off screen), but is ready to take it to the next mano-a-mano level.
Now, we don't think that means we will be seeing Brock's character get it on with a guy onscreen (that makes zero sense with his storyline), but Buns has pull, so something naughty is bound to happen.
Wonder how Brock's No. 1 gal pal feels about it all?
Hell, she gets to sleep with him on the regular, we really doubt she cares that much.
And It Ain't: Ian Somerhalder, Zach Galifianakis, Tom Hardy

Top suspect -Kellan Lutz

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Vintage BV: Naughty Nina

And, since we didn't do one last weekend.  A second vintage BV for this weekend.  This one not solved.  Enjoy!

One Cheap-Ass Blind Vice: April 21, 2005

I'm as shallow as the next Tinseltown jerk. I like my faves, particularly Naughty Nina. So, I'm keeping her rep sorta clean here. But, hell, this bitch blows the dudes in the restrooms of only the globe's chicer establishments. I mean, like Neen would evah be caught fellating today's hottest rockers and celebs in the men's rooms of, say, an In-N-Out, or somethin'. Damn straight. Regardless, gotta take a breather here on the heavy-breathing Vices--this one's all about the green. Nina, whose friends are far more rich than she is (actually, that's one of the bigger scams going round town right now), is developing quite the rep for her miserly clubgoing ways. And what could be more offensive (to some) than hauling out your manicured privates or feeling up your boy-dates in public? Not leaving a tip for the waitstaff, that's what. Zilch. Nada. Not even a 'Thanks, I'll getcha next time!' She does this without fail. I swear, this shortsighted chintziness is going to do in N2 faster than her prophylactic-free playtime!
And it ain't: Nicky Hilton, Nicole Richie, Kimberly Stewart

Also eliminated: Lindsay Lohan, Eva Longoria, Tara Reid

Top suspect:  ? (was Paris Hilton but she is suspected to be Slurpa Pop-Off)

Vintage BV: Dingle Tingle

Here is another vintage Blind Vice dug up from a few years back...

One Tuchis-Time Blind Vice - March 31, 2006

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE 24x36 COLOR POSTER PRINTTake a good, long soak in the tub. Then gear up them gams. Lick those lips, and prepare for the kind of fun traditionally reserved for WeHo types like myself. Oh, darlings, it's just so exciting when you straight honeys take a tip from the fagolas--especially when said cue is...carnal. Now, Wilmer Valderrama may have a self-proclaimed big unit (or not, I'm going to ask Mandy Moore the next time I bump into her). But never mind size. After all, today's broad-shouldered bohunk, Dingle Tingle, isn't exactly hugely endowed. "Average" is the word gals use to describe him to me. Babes who have slept with Dingle, mind you, not seen him baking nude by the pool or somethin'. But good news. None of his mattress mates care a whit. In fact, according to one gorgeous sweetie in par-tick (a gal who's still reeling after her romp in the sack with D.T.), nobody does it better than the Dingle dude. His secret, you ask? Let's just say that while most of Ding's dumbo hetero partners in bedroom piracy are concentrating on a woman's more traditional erogenous zones, Ding thinks more outside the box: Yes, that's right. Mostly, myopic men gun, cumbersomely, for the front door. Not our Ding, he rings in slowly, oh so seductively--and with the cunning of a ferret out only to please--for the rear. And Mr. T. is very, very good at his unique amor-angling. So excelente, as a matter of fact, that the babes who share their lovemaking sessions with him are so dazzled, they tell their gal-pals, who tell their gal-pals, who... And you know what? Dingle T. has time for all of 'em, it seems. Jeez. Ya think Missus Dingle Tingle knows what's up, or down, as it were? Or is she too gaga gone between the sheets herself to notice? Sure hope it's the latter.
And it ain't: Patrick Dempsey, Will Smith, Ashton Kutcher

Also eliminated: George Clooney, Jeremy Piven, Kevin Federline, Orlando Bloom

Top suspect was: Johnny Knoxville

Friday, December 3, 2010

Blind Vice Archive: Jackie Bouffant

Ted and the Awful Truth team have compiled a new chapter of their BV archive - the Jackie Bouffant archive.  Here is the summary for it:

Charlie St. CloudJackie Bouffant certainly keeps us guessing. This young-ish star has girls (and guys) everywhere drooling over him, with talent to back up his amazing smile.
But perhaps his best acting work to date is hiding his past: Before he hooked up with his very famous significant other, Jackie was more into guys than chicks. And he's working very hard at possibly kicking his gay habit:
The Perp: Jackie Bouffant
Primary Vice: Closeted celeb
Blind Bio: Idolized guy who has been involved with men and women. He had a semi-serious boyfriend, Frank Dangerfield (a practically out Z-List actor) but once Jackie's star power rose, he ditched the dude for a famous and gorg girlfriend. Now we've learned dabbling in drugs isn't the only (other) secret Jackie has been hiding. He's now stepping out on his beard, and you'll never guess who with.

It has been timeline-proven that Jackie Bouffant is Zac Efron.  See our other labels for our other posts and more discussion!

Blind Vice: Gay Jackie Sluts It Up With Lady Strippers!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Gay Jackie Sluts It Up With Lady Strippers!

It really is the new gay to go to sleazy strip clubs, didn't you know? First, Toothy Tile got into it pretty brazenly. Now Jackie Bouffant—the younger, fresher perkier version of closeted matinee idol Toothy—is pulling that greasy stuff!
And how.
Zac Efron 2011 CalendarJackie, who's so pretty he might be mistaken for one of the gorgeous-eyed babes in these joints, is becoming quite the fan of the pole-dancing set. But...he's taking it one heterosexual step further by...
Sleeping with women he meets there (as well as other places) on the side. On the side of his beard, that is!
Well, on the one hand, we totally get it.
We wouldn't want to sleep with Jackie's prissy beard, either. But, Jackie's obviously hip to the fact that he's got to get some chicks talking about how well he gets his sex on—and what better way to do it than to put his little Jackie-tool to work!
For the record, just got to say something here.
Think we have a little Nevis Devine action goin' on, sweethearts. Now that Jackie—who still lives to get his boy-action on—has finally tasted the female side of (fabulous) sex, he's decided he may not be so averse to it, after all.
Interesting move, my man. Hey, get the best of both worlds, right? I mean, sounds like you enjoy it enough.
Totally unlike Toothy, trust.
And It Ain't: Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Matthew Morrison

Top suspect: Zac Efron (proven by a timeline of when Ted said he was not a BV and then confirmed as one - see comments under other posts.)

Links to the previous Jackie Bouffant BVs:  August 2009 including a full list of who has been eliminated; and May 2010.

Blind Vice: Superstar Has a Golden Rule - In Bed!

This was new from Ted yesterday, Dec 2 -

Blind Vice: Superstar Has a Golden Rule - In Bed!

Open wide, because this vice is a wet one!
Fernando Tinkle-Treat is a face you've been seeing around a lot lately (and it's a pretty gorgeous one at that). He's been hitting the media circuit, big-time, peddling his recent project where he also happens to be peddling his family-man shtick, too. They sorta go hand in hand.
But, as Hollywood tales go, there's something Fernando's not telling everybody.
Hint: Super Duper-Cooper totally approves...
Not only is Fernando stepping out on his babe, but he's getting his super-massive kinky wet on when he does it!
Yep, we are talking about golden showers, people.
We hear from a source that was more than willing to um, go there, with Fernando that Mr. F really gets his little tinkle-treat going when he urinates on whomever he is bedding at said time.
And it's pee or bust.
No bladder bedroom session, no bone session. Kapesh? After all, if Tinkle is risking stepping out on the ball and chain, it's gotta be worth it.
What is it with famous folks like F.T.T and Super Duper-Cooper? We think these civilians (and celebs, mainly in Super's sheets ‘tho) just desperately want one night with them that they are willing to forgo bedroom etiquette.
Team Truth has never felt more prudish in our lives!
Let's just say there is a time and a place to poop or pee, and that's in a toilet. Or an outside venue if popping a squat is way necessary.
And It Ain't: Will Smith, Johnny Depp, Justin Bieber
Update Dec 23 - Ted has also eliminated Enrique Iglesias, Josh Duhamel, Harrison Ford

Top suspect: ?

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

BV Superstar Gallery Update

Ted has updated his Blind Vice Superstar Gallery.  Three new celebs added to the bunch.  Now we have Tony Parker, Jennifer Lopez, and Elizabeth Banks to add to the list. 

Here is an excerpt:

Please welcome, Jennifer Lopez, Tony Parker and Elizabeth Banks.
Since Eva Longoria was inducted last round, we thought it was only fair to put her soon-to-be ex-hubby in there also. Sometimes it takes two to vice.
As for Liz Banks, her Vice ain't nothing new in Hollywood (and certainly wouldn't make you think that differently of her), but she seems to be a fan favorite. As for Lopez, that one might be slightly more stunning. A lot more stunning, actually.

We are pretty sure we have the correct BV correlating with each.  Check our labels!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Blind Vice: Veronica's Surgical Secret Revealed!

We really don't intend to put these all up a day late.  New from Ted yesterday...

Blind Vice: Veronica's Surgical Secret Revealed!

We were expecting to induct Veronica Bee-Stings into our exclusive Blind Vice club when one of her flirt fests with a certain married costar went too far.
See, V. is a knockout, that's for sure, and she loves that men want her—especially hunky ones who are already spoken for. And they do, surely.
Blake Lively: Traveling to the TopBut we're not here to discuss her femme fatal ways. Rather, today's secretive lesson is about all the money that's gone into making Veronica look so very alluring:
In other words, are they or aren't they real? We're talking 'bout her knockers, jugs, high-beams, babaloos, whatever you want to call her precious set o' twins.
Bee-Stings treasure chest has been a hot topic amongst gossip bloggers ever since her gorgeous tress made her way into Hollywood years agoand we just happened to stumble upon a stylish colleague of V.'s who knows for sure.
Ready for the almighty answer?
They're fake, of course!
Says Bee-Sting's bestie:
"Her weight used to fluctuate before she stopped eating and her boobs always stayed the same exact, perky size."
Keep in mind, this pal of Veronica's knew the popular star before her augmentation (among other little tweaks 'n' things).
Don't you love how bitchy this town is?
Now, we don't find boob jobs particularly that interesting (hello, L.A. is full of them!), but it's just a tad gratifying to know for certain that V. has paid for some of her amazing looks—even though she's famous for protesting otherwise.
'Nic is always blabbing to the press how her body is totally natural and how she can, like, eat whatever she wants and not go to the gym because she's just blessed that way!
Well, as natural as you get with a little ta-ta enhancement and, oh ya, fixing that "deviated septum" of hers.
But we're not here to judge. Not at all.
Veronica certainly can take credit for the fact she has legs for days and hair for weeks. It's just time to translate some of those hard earned looks into, I dunno, real acting parts, maybe? Because the clock is ticking on your 15 minutes of augmented splendor, hon, and we secretly want you to stay around a bit longer.
And It Ain't:  Emma Stone, Emma Watson, Amanda Bynes
Update 5/25/12 - Ted has eliminated Emma Stone, Emma Watson, Amanda Bynes, Kristen Stewart, Rooney Mara, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Aniston, Carey Mulligan, Jennifer Lawrence, Eva Mendes, Carey Mulligan, Kate Winslet, Katy PerryCharlize TheronLea Michele, Jennifer Love Hewitt.

* Top suspect -Blake Lively

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Blind Vice: Bloated Babe Turns To Booze, Not Babies!

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Bloated Babe Turns To Booze, Not Babies!

We toss around the word celebrity here at Awful Truth, about as loosely as Toothy Tile guards his homosexuality. That said, there's a celeb in town by the name of Lucretia Johnson, whose talent is, uh, questionable, at best.
And the poor gal's also currently getting raked over the rumor coals for possibly being preggers. And, trust, in a town that wants to skewer folks (mainly women) for being a half-ounce over weight, that's pretty scandalous stuff.
Shouldn't be, but it is.
And guess what? Chances are slim to none Lucretia's with child because...
Her friends tell us the wayward babe's been "getting sloppy drunk for months."
Poor Lucretia has had a bad run of luck with men not exactly being loyal to her, hell, even nice to her. Johnson also has a bad habit of letting these jokers do whatever they want in bed—to sometimes yucky results!
Even though L.'s currently found a man who seems to be able to stick around and be decent to her, Lucretia just doesn't believe—deep down inside—it's going to last.
So the stacked sweetie drinks and drinks and drinks.
No wonder she's lookin' thicker than Levi Johnston's head these days!
Lucretia is also—according to her friends who have known her since she was a cheerleader at Happiest Place on Earth High—increasingly concerned that her most unimpressive career is fast approaching the point of becoming a permanent zero. Despite having had a fair amount of on-camera success in the past.
Ms. J., who really can sometimes do the cutest little flips with her big mane o' luscious hair, is also totally depressed that her more famous friends are quickly abandoning her, as she's just not the same hot celeb she used to be.
Hell, who needs friends like that? Good riddance, we say!
Get yourself to an AA meeting, Lucretia. Then you might realize this man you're with now isn't exactly looking out for your best interests, and neither are your avaricious relatives.
Sober up and smell the Starbucks, honey.
And It Ain't: Bristol Palin, Mo'Nique, Brittny Gastineau

Update 3/24/12 - Ted has eliminated Bristol Palin, Mo'Nique, Brittny Gastineau, Beyonce Knowles, Raven Simone, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mandy Moore, Vanessa Hudgens, Holly Madison, Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Snooki.

Please see the label below for a link to the new LJ BV.

Top suspects -either Jessica Simpson or Christina Aguilera

Friday, November 26, 2010

CDAN Blind 11/24

This squeaky clean, late night talk show host is cheating on his wife. If you thought the Letterman thing was explosive, you have not seen anything yet.

Buzzfoto Blind Item #438

From Nov. 22:

These two television stars recently announced their split. What they didn't say was why they ended their off-screen romance. It is because the male actor continues to go around the set groping the other female actors in the cast. He's done that since the beginning of their relationship, but after a while, she was fed up, asked him to stop and when he wouldn't, she ended it.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Bonus Blind: Rich Celeb Likes to Watch Boys Man Their Rockets

Sorry for the deleay, we are a busy bunch.  This was a new BV from Ted Monday -

Bonus Blind: Rich Celeb Likes to Watch Boys Man Their Rockets

The UnionNever really understood the more voyeuristic side of Hollywood, like Petered Metered, the Hollywood star who lives to watch porn or gay boys doing it in front of him in his big lux Los Angeles mansion. Operative words being in front of him. Not with him. Excuse me?
Maybe this is something the equally rich—and equally seasoned—Prince Horebart Hairplug 
can understand? I dare say he can, as Horey lives to...
Corral all the good-looking young men he can find, just so they can strip down and screw right in front of him! And keep in mind, we're talkin' young (though not underage), sweethearts. A little baby-fat never hurt Hairplug's libido. In fact, just the opposite.
And before you ask what does Prince—whose multi-talented reputation reaches many entertainment venues—hear from his partner while he's off watching all this rosy-cheeked fornication, just know it's most likely, "Enjoy!"
I swear, what is it with these celebrity couples who allow each other to cheat and then naively expect everything to just keep on keepin' on after the fact. Stupid!
Or not. Prince and his much younger other half have been together for some time, so maybe this open-relationship stuff does work for a select few? Perhaps.
Still, what's far more perplexing to us is what's the pointing of all this vicarious sex stuff? Why the hell not actually partake in all the supple fun? Oh, I get it—by not touching, do these horny idiots actually think they're not cheating?
That would just be classic.
It Ain't: Matthew McConaughey, Patrick Wilson, Prince

For Prince Horebart Hairplug:
As of 12/7/10 Ted has also eliminated Nicholas Cage, Kevin Kline.

Top suspect - Elton John

For Petered Metered: click on the label below to go to our post on his BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Vintage BV: Hussy Purr & Drinkel Manslut

Here's another vintage BV couple, from 2006.   [And here's the thing, people.  This is yet ANOTHER one that people thought this was Jess and Nick.  However, we know that they can each have only ONE nickname and not unliminted as people thought a few years ago.  So who do you think this was about???]
Update 11/23/10 - Nick Lachey was said to NOT have a BV yet, so this couple and other BV couples can NOT be them.

One Rattling Blind Vice - March 16, 2006

Oh, Hussy Purr, every day I come a wee bit closer to understanding why you change moods more often than hairstyles. Sometimes, a story unfolds slowly. What we know is Hussy and her onetime perma-man-candy, Drinkel Manslut, may be no longer. And zillions of theories abound, citing everything from HP's unconventional love life to Drink's roving eyes, hands, etc. Alas, while I'm sure neither Hussy nor Drinkel deserves to be canonized anytime soon, I've learned from excellent sources that it was her misbehavior that put them into "get away from me once and for all" land. And to top it off, I'm told Hussy put her man into a hissy overdrive with an announcement that's straight out of Jerry Springer: I'm pregnant. And you ain't the daddy. I'm sure she put it more gently, of course, but whatev. Not that Hussy ever seemed much of a conniver, mind you. Were she not so famous, none of this scandalicious horror would seem so shocking. But Hussy is. And so is the father. So, don't expect to see any pics of her preggers in the tabs anytime soon. 'Cause you won't. Any guesses why? 

And it ain't: Sienna Miller/Jude Law, DJ AM/Nicole Richie, Miss Piggy/Kermit the Frog

Eliminated: Sienna Miller/Jude Law, DJ AM/Nicole Richie, Miss Piggy/Kermit the Frog, Cameron Diaz/Justin Timberlake, Lindsay Lohan/Wilmer Valderrama, Paris Hilton/Stavros Niarchos

Top suspects: Carmen Electra/Dave Navarro, Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen

Friday, November 19, 2010

Blind Vice Archive: Chester Shorts-Off & Secretia Ohio

Another chapter of Ted and the Awful team's archives.  Our favorite celeb swingers, Tony and Eva!  Just in time for the news of their divorce.

This couple has provided us with a few of our favorite Blind Vice's. Who doesn't love some kinky fun?
As their relationship is quite unconventional, Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off are dangerously close to figuring out the perfect sinful Hollywood partnership. Everyone in this skanky town cheats, so why not do it together? But open relationships only work for so long…
The Perps: Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off
Primary Vice: Swingers
Blind Bio: This couple has been known to hit up certain swinger parties in the Hollywood Hills together. Sex on the side for both Secretia and Ohio is totally okay since they're apart a lot, but emotional cheating is never allowed. And, sure enough, trouble started brewing when Ms. Ohio started fooling around more than Chester preferred…so he emotionally checked out.

Top suspects: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker

Here are our posts on the 3 Chester and Secretia BVs: February 2010 including a full list of who has been eliminated; March 2010; and the most recent from today, November 2010.

Blind Vice: Swinging Sex Play Gets Super-Sticky for Celeb Couple

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Swinging Sex Play Gets Super-Sticky for Celeb Couple

As we told you a while ago, Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off were developing a couple of cracks in their very liberal (and licentious) love agreement. And we're not just talking random butt crack, babes.
EVA LONGORIA PARKER 24X36 COLOR POSTER PRINTNope, Secretia was becoming a bit careless in her private hookups, even though the two had agreed to have an open relationship—which often included swinging orgy sex. How psychedelic '60s, love it! However, Chester was not at all pleased with his gal's borderline-public liaisons with other men, so he decided to...
Start being indiscrete himself!
And handsome Chester (who, if you ask us, isn't quite the hunk-muffin so many folks say he is, but whatever) did his sex-hungry honey one better: He started getting emotionally attached to his sex partners. Going out, having lunch and dinner, you know, hanging.
OMG, the nerve Chester had to not just have sex with these women! And anything that went beyond the bedroom, Secretia had warned, would always be considered the ultimate no-no numero uno.
People are such idiots, really. Do they think multiple orgasms with multiple partners isn't going to eventually lead to some kind of psychological—if not affectionate—connection between the players? Dumb, dumb, dumb.
But Chester was pretty dumb himself when he thought Secretia would just lie back and take his one-upmanship. Hardly this bitch's style.
So Ms. Ohio is currently deciding her options. Does she dump Chester and demand a bigass piece of his financial pie in the process—and risk exposing her own sexual goings-on in the process? Or does she stay with Chester and make the best of it?
But plan C, which involves only Chester being hung out to dry—for an agreed-upon monetary arrangement between the two cheaters, of course—would probably be far more likely.
It Ain't: Kevin and Christine Costner, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, Michelle and Barack Obama.

Top suspects: still Eva Longoria and Tony Parker. 

See our other SO and CSO posts: March 2010 and February 2010 including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Blind Vice: Priscilla Desert Is Dry Indeed

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Priscilla Desert Is Dry Indeed

Turns out Blind Vice vixen Priscilla Desert isn't as trampy as some of you think.
Sure, she hasn't exactly kept the best male company (much to the dismay and spin control of her team) but don't you dare label her slutty by association!
You wanna know why?
Yes, Priscilla Desert is...
Still a virgin!
(Pals close to Priscilla let this slip after a few too many cocktails, so the apple doesn't fall far from her friends!).
Now, to those of you who don't live in Hollywood where practically everyone keeps a legs wide open policy, this may not seem shocking for a girl of her age.
But it is. It really is.
Especially because other chicks who grew up in the spotlight like Me-Me Dallas or Darla Jones certainly cannot say the same.
Humping in trailers is so not P.D.'s thang.
Now Pris's bearding to Parrish Maguire makes a little more sense. Fauxmance's always serve a purpose, but since she isn't getting it anywhere else of course she doesn't mind the PR sham. Being attached to hotties in this business benefits her too, ya know.
Guess that also tells us that despite the fact Miss P throws 'em back, she never gets too out of control to lose track of her clothes.
We find this very respectable! And way cute. Guess her good girl image isn't totally a sham.
Now ditch the losers honey and find real love that you say you desperately want!
Here's hoping that once you get a taste of something good (we mean true love people, duh), you never go back to bearding.
And It Ain't: Blake Lively, Nikki Reed, Emily Osment

Top suspect: still Taylor Swift 

Proven to be Priscilla Desert by timeline of dates Ted has said she was NOT a BV and then confirmed as a BV:  TAYLOR SWIFT.

Please see labels for links to the other two PD BVs including a full list of who has been eliminated, and the timeline analysis.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

VINTAGE BV: Schlocky Ticky-Tocky

Just for kicks... another oldie.  Where does Ted come up with these bizarre names?

One Pained 'n' Stained Blind Vice - Dec. 22, 2005

Now, this is a really skanky one to go out on. The year's up, and so is this chick's pretty-puss time. See, Schlocky Ticky-Tocky, always known more for her talent than her beauty, is getting on--as we all appear to be, perhaps with the sole exception of Paris Hilton (arguable point, I know). So, Schlocky--a kudo queen for one of her more, uh, less scene-chewing flicks--went to see a fancy plastic surgeon. Not one of the best, perhaps, but not one of the worst cracks in town either. S.T.-T. got herself a face-lift, went for the whole works, the full bandaged shebang. Now, here's where it gets dicey--not to mention really ugly. Schlocky's a very, very heavy smoker. Idiot. As if lung cancer and assorted other potential ailments waiting to afflict the once A-list actress weren't enough to scare this broad off the fags, you'd think the following would. Ticky-Tocky's doc told the pre-op broad that she had to not only stop smoking before the surgery, but during the healing process, as well. Had. To. And do you think she did? All the addicts in the world are all shouting hell, no! in unison, right about now, and I'm one of 'em, damn straight. As a most unfortunate side effect of not following her physician's warning, Ms. T.-T.--who indeed continued to smoke like a chimney through all phases of her elective, invasive treatment--now has permanently marked nicotine lines of medium to dark brown wherever there were incisions. On her jaw and face, her neck, her brow--in addition to additional splotches on her cheeks. Accordingly, Schlocky never, ever goes out without full makeup and scarves. Jesus, may I never pick up another cigarette again--'cause I sure don't want my face-lift resulting in that! 
And it ain't: Tatum O'Neal, Susan Sarandon, Barbra Streisand

Also eliminated: Goldie Hawn, Faye Dunaway, Julianne Moore, Anjelica Houston
Top suspects were: Liza Minelli, Diane Keaton


Another vintage Blind Vice dug up from the dusty internet files ... this one going back 5 years again, from December 2005.

One High-Fuming Blind Vice - Dec. 6, 2005

Whip M. Off has always been a rebel. He's one of those grown-ups who refuses to act his damn age in spite of bein' a dad and having a runaway hairline. See, when Whip carouses, he really goes for it. He's not a tame horny duck like, say, Bruce Willis--hell, no. (Strippers and any female who just happens to be displaying a sizeable décolleté are never happy to see Whip's increasingly heavy gait head over their way.) Of course, W.P. might be acting like such an annoying doof lately 'cause he doesn't have Bruno's deep pockets. I mean he did, once upon a time, before a nasty divorce. Yep, poor Whip M. learned the hard way that prenups are a cynical but necessary part of marriage. (Britney Spears, you are a smart cookie in that department!) Mr. Off and his non-earning, hell-raising wife-unit didn't sign one, see. Consequently, Whip is, gulp, outta cash. Like, completely. And he's depressed, as in bring on the pick-me-up drugs, as in can barely fake a sexy smile. Jeez, who wouldn't be? Now, I'm gonna give you a reason to grin next time yer tending a bruised ego in the rear of an airplane. Mr. O. is so damn broke, he is flying coach--even when he has the fam in tow. Yes, this guy's IMDb page goes on for a million freakin' pages, yet he can't even get legroom in the sky anymore. And he's damn bitter about it, trust me. It's no wonder Whip's been acting strange lately, not his usual witty self on the red carpet and such. And heaven knows, we can't afford to lose any charmers in that department! (Oh, and by the masochistic way, Whip is obsessed with the stupid-ola fact of having not gotten a prenup, particularly when he's salivating--I kid you not--for his long-gone first-class days.) 
And it ain't: Eddie Murphy, Lorenzo Lamas, Alec Baldwin

Also eliminated: Val Kilmer, Jack Nicholson, Don Johnson, Charlie Sheen
Top suspect:  ?

VINTAGE BV: Madeline Max-It, Mike Mouthful

Doing our weekly vintage Blind Vice .... this time flashing back to November 2005.  Again for those who are new, we dig up the old ones because Ted only gives each celeb one nickname.  So we are trying to piece together who is who.

One Domestically Disturbed Blind Vice - November 23, 2005

Everybody adores Madeline Max-It, 'cause girlfriend has the shit goin' on. Mads went from being a plain, mousy gal to a svelte superstudstress. Hit endeavors, a hottie partner and a family unit helped seal the deal for the curvy babe, whose detractors round Hollywood were simply seething over the fact that M.M.I. seems to have just a little too much of a good thing. Well, those naysayers can relax. Not only is Mad's spouse more partial to the types who, say, fill out pants a little better than does our Madeline (however, M. sports them as best as any femme does, must say), but more and more folks are getting hip to the extramarital fact that is Mads and her hunky costar Mike Mouthful. Yep, you got it: Mads apparently doesn't mind so much when her hubby cheats with the fellahs, thanks to Mike's sizable offscreen shenanigans (on par with those onscreen, to be sure). But Mads and Mikey sure better be more selective about where they tongue--and digit--wrestle. Too many parties are starting to serve them up, verbally speaking, before and after the raspberry-and-chocolate soufflé. 
And It Ain't: Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora; Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards; Courteney Cox/David Arquette

No one else was eliminated in Ted's mailbag for this.
Top suspects were: Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick/Chris Noth, Reese Witherspoon/Ryan Phillipe/Joaquin Phoenix, Kelly Preston/John Travolta

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Blind Vice: Toothy Tile's Back to Dangerous Sex!

New from Ted yesterday...

Blind Vice: Toothy Tile's Back to Dangerous Sex!

It's really gotten to be one of the most vicious, Catch-22 romantic situations in Hollywood: poor Toothy Tile's love life. Last we heard, Tinseltown's most notoriously closeted actor last gave his fake-beard ways another whirl—and not in the classiest of ways, either.
Hmmm. Wonder if that chick-patrolling Toothy was up to could be a habit he picked up...
While cruising for guys in West Hollywood? In dark, public places? We think this just might be an affirmative assumption on our part!
Bubble BoyOnly because not only do old habits die hard (Toothy loves doing it anyplace except a bed, remember?), but it's clear Tooth's recently amped-up, PR chick-dating has made him hungrier than usual for his natural inclination: dudes.
Near the Sunset Strip, Tooth was recently standing not that far from a popular gay club. He was by himself, in the alley in between two darkly lit buildings. A super-cute guy a little younger than Mr. Tile walked by. The young brown-haired guy knew the drill: If he was interested, turn back around. Which he did.
Very nervously, he went up to Toothy, knowing exactly who he was. Toothy replied, "Hey."
"Hey," responded cute boy, barely audible. The wholesome-looking dude added, "How' going?"
"Great," said Toothy, who moved further back into the blackness of the alley, somewhere near the—gasp!—trash bins. He placed one hand on his growing crotch, which was not insignificant at this point.
Toothy's man-choice for the night reluctantly took one step toward Toothy, and then he stepped back. It wasn't so much that he had a boyfriend at home he was thinking about, but it was more so the faint smell of eau de refuse that was making him hesitate. He just couldn't go through with it.
He bolted, practically hitting himself the whole way home.
And yes, this really did happen. All 18 tales of our Toothy archives have indeed gone down. As it were.
And It Ain't: Matt Lanter, Ralph Fiennes, Joseph Fiennes

Top suspect: Jake Gyllenhaal 

Please see the Toothy Tile label below for links to previous Toothy BVs.  Here is our list of everyone who has been eliminated as Toothy.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Bonus Blind: Marrying Man Screwing Around Already!

New from Ted today -

Bonus Blind: Marrying Man Screwing Around Already!
Men are dawgs, period, plain and simple. It's a familiar refrain heard ‘round the Awful Truth, so get used to it.
My Booky Wook: A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-UpTake Altar-Ego Salami, for example. He's an arguably handsome man of some fame (and talent) who fairly recently got married—or engaged, we're not saying, sorry! But let's put it this way: The announcement of said fact was splashed heartily across many a celeb site.
You know how we goss types are, right? We just get wet in the keyboard whenever something like that goes down. Only thing that gets us more excited is when all that domestic lovey stuff goes wrong, right?
Oh, yeah!
And Altar-Ego is already cheating right and friggin' left on his unsuspecting honey, which is just colossally unbelievable, if you ask us, because Salami is being pretty sloppy about his horning around. He's doing it in very visible, highly desirable hotels. You know, places where lotsa celebs go. And who else goes to places like that?
People who love to talk about people who go to places like that! In other words, it's hardly been a secret that AES has been going in and out of his suites more than his lady companions. He's not being discreet about it. Or quiet.
And the stupid girl who's marrying (or just married) Mr. S thinks she's met the lover of her life. Well, maybe she has, but she's also met the lover of many other babes' lives.
Good thing the arrogant (stupid) prick didn't plan for a prenup—this way, his put-upon woman can sue the tight pants off him later on!
It Ain't: Nick Lachey, David Annable, Nick Cannon
Update Dec 23 - Ted has also eliminated Paul Wesley, Michael C. Hall

Current top suspect: Russell Brand
Other guesses: Eric Johnson, Brian Austin Green, Pete Wentz, Eddie Cibrian

Lainey - Doctor's orders

New from Lainey today -

Doctor's orders

George Clooney 2011 Wall Calendar #RS6166He like his sex unconventional. Some would call it experimental, certainly vigorous, and definitely physical. Maybe too physical. Mixing pain into his pleasure, and cutting very, very close to a dangerous line is taking its toll on his body. He shows up with strange bruises, the next week it’s a minor fracture, his neck has been strained, sometimes there’s a knee brace, the shoulder’s been f-cked up for a while, and his back is a chronic issue too.

The excuse of course is that he’s active, that he exercises, he’s sporty, and that’s true, yes, but the injuries are not sustained while playing pickup, no, not at all. The injuries happen when he’s doing his business with his steady girl, a willing and capable participant.

His doctor is aware of what’s been ailing him, and WHY it’s ailing him. Helps when he can. But he’s been urged to take it easy because lately it’s been getting too rough. Especially with insurance and medicals and all that kind of paperwork, it’s hard to explain away the cuts and sprains, the little accidents that seem to be occurring with increasing frequency. He’s so into it, and he gets so off on it, it’s hard from him to curtail his fun. But they all agree, at least it’s been the case in the past, that when it’s time to get to work, he manages to keep his freak under control.

Top suspect: George Clooney

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Weekly Vintage BV: Hash Bilk

Our weekly vintage from Awful Truth...

One Toke Over the Dotted Line Blind Vice - 3/2/06

Hash Bilk makes me laugh. He makes me cry. And it turns out Hash makes himself laugh. And cry. And maybe even get the munchies and devour whole bags of potato chips. After all, that's what many folks do when they get stoned. Getting stoned is nothing mega, I know. As one bigwig agent chick blabbed to me earlier this week, "Everyone loves [certain sweetie-poo star]. She's just a sweet, nice pothead." I, for one, contest this statement and point to a certain hemp-hyper as Captain Ganja of Malibu, but alas, we're digressing. And I'm not even stoned! Anyway, here's when firing up the joint does become big news: when you do it at the office. And that's exactly what H.B., a major exec and talent, is doing. He even had a special ventilated-office annex built. You know, a smoky little hideaway where he can puff and giggle all he wants without some evil, aspiring CEO sniffing him out. Smart, Hash, I just hope you're careful about who you bring in that room with ya. It makes sense to me that Mr. B. likes to smoke up on the company turf. I mean, his movies can be daring. Why should it be any surprise that he is, too? And he's so talented that I've often wondered what's the secret to his success. But who knew the secret would smell like patchouli? Not me, for one. 
And It Ain't: Mel Gibson; Steven Spielberg; Tom Cruise

Top suspects were: Quentin Tarantino, J.J. Abrams, Michael Bay

Friday, November 5, 2010

Awful Truth's BV Archive - Super Duper Cooper

Ted's created another chapter of his archive - this one to go along with today's BV, good ole Super Duper Cooper.

Time to bring back and oldie and stinky B.V. creep monster.
Room for SquaresRemember Super-Duper Cooper? He's a poop on ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy. Not to mention his verbal diarrhea of the mouth only makes us wonder how the hell he is still able to bed tons of Hollywood beauties. Especially considering his post-coital behavior...
The Perp: Super-Duper Cooper
Primary Vice: Douchebag
Blind Bio: Celebrity whose manners are as disgusting in private as they are in public. This dude is a notorious womanizer, no secret there, but the way he mixes his bedroom and bathroom behavior sure might surprise some folks. And his thank-you to a select few gals? Forcing his conquests he accidentally knocks up to get abortions, including his famous, slightly cheap ex-girlfriend.

Top suspect: John Mayer.  See below for our other posts on SDC including our full list of eliminations.

Blind Vice: You May Never Want to Have Sex Again!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: You May Never Want to Have Sex Again!
Battle StudiesIt's a good thing Super-Duper Cooper, whose bedroom habits stink to high heaven, is pretty hot. Otherwise, what you're about to read would be virtually impossible to fathom. I mean, kinky sex is one thing, but totally debauched, gross-out nooky with an ever grosser-looking partner would be just beyond hideous, right?
Still, babes, hold off on eating your lunch ‘cause what you're fixing to read, about what Super's been up to, will probably make you want toss your cookies:
Coop, who still manages to bed all the good-looking gals he can find (despite claiming the opposite), recently stayed at his fave deluxe Vegas hotel. The place was used to catering to Cooper's starry ways: Women constantly in and out of his room, the suite always left a mess, etc. Nobody ever said anything, discretion is this celeb hang's policy!
But that was before.
After Super-Duper's most recent stay, he left behind a gift. It was a bag, actually. The housekeeper found it. She opened it up, thinking she'd get a delightful, vicarious big-celebrity thrill, getting a look at the fancy stuff before, of course, returning it to management so Super could retrieve his forgotten goodies.
Well, guess what she found? A bunch of s--t. Literally. Now, technically, they were crap-covered bed linens (which, clearly, Coop was planning on throwing out, but forgot). But listen up, the predominant ingredient in that damn bag was overwhelmingly made of human feces. With a nice chaser of dried seminal fluid, just to top things off nicely.
Now, Super, you bizarro perv, we already knew you were into sex-with-poop, but the thing we don't get—like at all—is where the hell do you find these chicks who participate in the stinky stuff, too? Are they really into it, or do they just play along (and hold their noses)?
Or are we just boring old vanilla-sex types, and is fornication with turds the new black? Are we that behind with the latest trends? Do tell, Super! Tweet us an answer, pronto, por favor!
At any rate, the Vegas joint's concierges are at a loss as to what they're going to say to Super next time he books a room. May we suggest: "So very sorry we can't accommodate you, Mr. Cooper, but unfortunately, we're as full as your bowels."
And It Ain't: Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Colin Farrell

Top suspect: John Mayer

Links to previous SDC BVs:
Oct '07 and April '08 including a full list of who has been eliminated; and January '08.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Bonus Blind: She-Devil Dees Gives Great Headline!

Ted's Bonus Blind from Monday.  Yes there was a delay.  We all have kids and/or jobs.  If you are upset over these delays, plese hit the "donate" button and donate to Blind Items Exposed.  Maybe one day we can afford to just keep up with blind items and pay our bills doing nothing else.  Until then, bear with us!  Thank you for your patience.

Bonus Blind: She-Devil Dees Gives Great Headline! 

Playboy July/August 2009 Olivia MunnThe only thing that makes us the slightest bit reluctant to write this Bonus Blind is the fact that She-Devil Dees (whom this Vice is about) will have an orgasm over it. That's what sex truly means to this arguably pretty honey: Nothing gets her off better than an article with her name in it.
Which is precisely why She-Devil saw to it that someone tipped off the media when...
She dated Hornius Thighs, one of Hollywood's hottest stud-muffins. Hornious never quite understood why the press was always waiting for them whenever he and She-D went on a date—no matter where they went. But Hornious finally got the clue and ditched the finagling double-dee broad.
So, Ms. Dees was then forced to move on to Jerry Rock-Butt. You remember: He's a multitalented somewhat good-looking boy and he succumbed to She-Devil's man machinations, as his girlfriend is about as boring as Justin Timberlake's love life these days.
(Men are so weak.)
Again, She-Devil arranged—in really not that clandestine a fashion—for details of her assignation with Jerry to get leaked to the media. But this time she did something different: She wouldn't comment about the affair when asked.
She-Devil, who wants to be as famous as they come, noticed this mouth-shut approach was the fancy way big stars acted when the media asked them about their personal affairs. So, that's what She-Devil decided to do.
She caught on that the "no comment" thing actually looked like a huge comment, as far as the appearance of the hookup goes. At least to the press.
And that's all that matters to She-Devil.
It Ain't: Natalie Portman, Tila Tequila, Chelsea Handler

Here is the link to the previous Jerry Rock-Butt BV from July 2009 including a full list of who has been eliminated as JRB.

List of eliminated for She-Devil Dees as of 2/28/11: Natalie Portman, Tila Tequila, Chelsea Handler, Evan Rachel Wood, Kim Kardashian, Blake Lively, Vanessa Hudgens

Top suspects:
She-Devil Dees - Olivia Munn
Jerry Rock-Butt - Justin Timberlake
Hornius Thighs - Chris Pine