Lainey - Exes and Wives

And another Lainey riddle from yesterday - Last but not least, here's #3 out of 3 from Dec 31:

Exes and Wives

Just some personality and colour I thought you might enjoy...
Comeback Kid only dates famous girls. When he and Golden were together, he stepped out on her twice that she knows of: once with a stripper and the other with Pigtails. But even though it’s been years, and she’s well moved on, Golden still has a hard time hearing Pigtails’ music. Her trainer made the mistake of playing it once when they were working out. She demanded that it be turned off immediately and never again while she’s in studio.
While Golden can’t let go of her resentment, Comeback’s wife, the PM, can’t help it either. People assume that it’s his other, more curvier ex, who makes her crazy but homemaker to homemaker, it’s actually Golden who she can’t stand, and has been overheard disparaging, unimpressed with her skills and her ideas, rolling her eyes when her name comes up.

Top suspects: 
Comeback Kid - Ben Affleck
Golden - Gwyneth Paltrow
Pigtails -  Britney Spears
The PM - Jennifer Garner
Curvier Ex - Jennifer Lopez

Blind Vice: Those Momagers Can Be Sluts Too!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Those Momagers Can Be Sluts Too!



Poor Princess Powder-Puff, the put-upon young star hasn't exactly had an easy time of it with the fame game. Drugs have been a staple for the talented girl, let's be honest. If you had her high-pressured life, you'd probably resort to chemical addiction, too, right?
Well, that combined with your mom screwing your friends, and you probably would...
Yep, right after PPP had one of her infamous moody incidents (covered widely by the media), everybody blamed the pretty chick for getting too whacked out on myriad drugs. That's partly true.
But get this: The main reason Powder-Puff went on that particular bender was because she'd just found out that one of her longtime friends and business associates had been seduced by her own damn mom!
This was a very hard blow for Ms. Powder-Puff. She had always hearted (big-time) this particular dude, who's sweet, good-looking and—most importantly—truly cares for Princess. And she had also gotten her hopes up.
See, Puff's never had much luck with the dudes. And yet she'd finally wrestled herself out of her latest bad relationship with a skeezy guy, and thought she'd take her friend/slash biz guy up on an oft-implied romantic interest. Ya know, maybe finally settle down with a good-hearted, sensible type.
But just as PPP was considering how to shyly go about it, in swoops Princess's momager! Like she's some kind of older Angelina Jolie, or something!
It was also doubling devastating to Princess, because she and the woman who birthed her always had a jealous thing going on. Ever since they both embarked on the fabulously wholesome world of child entertainment together, mom never entirely concealed how much she wanted to get in on Princess's money, sweat and fame. And Princess had always sort of brushed it aside.
Well, not after that, she didn't.
The two barely speak now. And folks have no idea why.
Uh, now they do.
And It Ain't: Mischa Barton, Selena Gomez, Lindsay Lohan
 

See the label below for our post on the previous Princess Powder-Puff BV including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: ? (was Britney Spears until 1/18/11 - see comments)

One Bugged-Out Belter Blind Vice

From Ted this past Friday - sorry for the delay.

One Bugged-Out Belter Blind Vice

Princess Powder-Puff has had quite the rocky existence for the past couple of years. Besides being a sizeable tabloid target, Princess P. has had some career setbacks, too. Maybe that's because everyone around Pee uses her for something. And whatever goodies those fake pals are gaining, it's never in PPP's best interest, for sure.
See, Puff hardly has any real buds. Sad, but very true.
Now, don't feel too bad for the babe, 'cause with her money she could easily be getting help if she wanted it. Instead, Triple-Pee resorts to seeking a different kinda aid from those around her.
Like drugs. The hard stuff, babes. Like what ruins major divas' careers before the whole global tabloid world's eyes. Powder-Puff is scrounging for a fix and isn't being too subtle about it, in whatever town she happens to be touring through. And what's Pee's great idea so nobody finds out? She's asking her crew members left and right for them to score something, anything, for her.
Genius.
Yikes, this is definitely gonna make PPP's comeback 10 times harder. Just more trainwreckishly delish for us to watch, that's all.
Oh, you all do know Princess isn't used to performing sober, don't you? It's something she absolutely hates doing, and it's definitely showing—the few times she agrees to be forced into such a desultory state.
So sad, too, 'cause Pee used to have it all. Boys, hits, good-girl fame—the works.

And it ain't: Nicole Scherzinger, Nadine Coyle, Christina Aguilera

As of 1/20/11 Ted has eliminated Mischa Barton, Selena Gomez, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Scherzinger, Nadine Cole, Christina Aguilera.

On 9/3/09 - The top suspect for this was Britney Spears after the AT team has revealed that past revealed BV subjects have been given new names. (Britney was formerly Ivana Belch but it was revealed.)
HOWEVER -
Update 1/18/11 - Ted states that Princess Powder-Puff did not have a BV already.  (This pretty much eliminates Britney.)

Current top suspect - ?

Please see the label below for the new PPP BV from Jan 2011.

* Clue 1/13/11 - Ted states PPP was born before the fall of the Berlin Wall.

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Edited to add:

Here is the Blind Vice which Ted REVEALED to be Britney Spears:

One Bitches on the Verge Blind Vice - Feb 23, 2006


I swear, suits and serious folks can be the biggest babies in this town. Originally, I was going to tell you about certain boardroom types who are having public hissy fits about this whole Clay Aiken threatened class(less) action suit.
But I'm so bored with Clay-mate talk that if I have to write about it for another second I'm gonna roll over and let Simon Cowell have his whippin' way with me. Boooring. Just the same, as long as we're on this quasi-S&M trip, we may as well delve into a scandal even more ghoulishly girly than a sexually ambiguous pop star.
(Besides, I'm too upset about the cancellation of Love Monkey to talk music right now. And no, I am not kidding.)
Okay, get out the Kleenex. Because whatever you may have done on Valentine's Day, I'm sure you had a peachier time than Ivana Belch.
Picture it. One of WeHo's snazziest boutiques. I.B. saunters in looking bloated, like she'd spent the morning crying into her feather bed alone instead of banging pillows against the walls in the throws of passion. A shame, yes, given that I.B. is certainly attached to a dude. But it gets worse.
"Suddenly, she burst out crying, sobbing really, and went into the dressing room," whispers my stunned shopping source. "It was so sad. You wanted to hug her."
Now, you might say to yourself, 'What's the big deal, Ted? So a girl cries in her dressing room, so what? I mean, Kirstie Alley made a comeback out of that."
And I, of course, would respond by reminding you of certain glaring, unspeakable circumstances.
Ivy is a mega star. She is not Kirstie-size in terms of fame or physique. Plus, need I remind you again? It was Valentine's, and though I don't know Ivana all that well, she sure seems like a gal who would want her man to douse her in chocolate body syrup. Or, you know, just get her some roses.
But the bottom line is pretty simple. If you ask moi, dressing rooms are as sacred as bedrooms. And I'm sure I.B. would agree--well, actually, maybe not. I mean, if that were the case, she'd prolly have a nicer wardrobe.

And it ain't: Nicole Ritchie, Kelly Clarkson, Hilary Duff

And here's the letter where Ted revealed:

"Dear Ted:
I am so hoping the One Bitches-on-the-Verge Blind Vice is about Britney Spears. Please tell me I'm right!
  Kayla Smart
  Kansas


Dear Right On:
As you are, my sweet, 'tis Ms. S."

So.... Britney Spears was revealed as Ivana Belch.

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Lainey Gossip Trailer Visits 12/17, our Britney Jr. rant

Lainey - Trailer Visits

Married and mega successful, with several children, but how to account for the gay young things seen coming and going from his trailer during production of his next hit? They were not part of the crew and they were not there to work… at least not on the film. Word is, he is insatiable and needs variety. Rarely does the same boy visit twice. And rarely are the boys not well taken care of. Though they are not paid professionals, per se, but they are compensated for being pretty and bendy. This is apparently a requirement. All of them have been observed to share the same body type: lean and fresh with short hair and they look like they all “belong in a music video”.
Satisfaction guaranteed on both sides. He gets his and they get trips, clothes, watches, iPods… like a gay holiday year round! Always tip well to avoid talkers, savvy?

That is the blind item from Lainey on Monday. Today she excluded John Travolta which is of course the obvious guess. Tom Cruise anyone? Brad Pitt? Who else has a bunch of kids and is working on a new film?

*** Update: The top suspect for this BI is Will Smith.




Off topic ... Let's talk about Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy for a minute. I thought she would end up on a better path but it looks like she is on her way to becoming Britney Jr by getting pregnant at age 16 and losing her loyal fan base who thought she was a good role model. My question - The girl is 16 and her boyfriend Casey Aldridge is 18 or 19, depending on varying info I have read. Should he be charged with statutory rape? Comment below!