Monday, December 8, 2014

Lainey - Open Professional

New Lainey riddle today, December 8, 2014 -

Open professional

The key to her illustrious career? Talent, of course. But also, she’s always been a professional. She’s never been difficult, she’s never been a drama queen, she always works hard, she’s always prepared. That’s also been the secret to her successful relationship. It’s an open marriage and it’s a solid marriage… because she’s a professional at protecting it.
She’s careful about who she sleeps with, directors and other actors she knows she can trust. And it’s all discussed, very professionally, before it starts. She dictates the terms of the arrangement. She’s very clear about exactly how it will go down – that there will be no commitment, that they enjoy each other privately when they are working together, and if she believes they can meet her requirements, it’s on. “Professional” was the word that kept repeating itself when my sources explained how she goes about her affairs. She’s always, always so “professional” about these hookups. Like the most efficient business deal.
Sometimes the men are younger. Sometimes they’re her contemporaries. Like the charmingly sexy actor who played her husband recently, especially now that he’s no longer committed. And they never tell because, well, being professional about it is probably the only way they can imagine doing anything as well as she does. She’s practically the best at her job, why wouldn’t she be the best at being discreet? 

Top suspects: Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren, Julianne Moore

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Lainey- her nickname for him

Lainey riddle - 

Her nickname for him

His attraction for her is understandable. Her attraction for him? Not all that clear, really. Unless size really does matter? For me, no. Size can be uncomfortable. For her, clearly a selling feature. Because she's been going around telling her friends about it. And her nickname for him, which she hasn't been shy about sharing, is "Monster Cock". Which is flattering, I guess, if you're in college or Vegas. But it's probably a little immature and maybe even a little disrespectful, all things considered.

Top suspects: Miranda Kerr/James Packer, Jennifer Lawrence/Chris Martin, Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Lainey- Notes on a love triangle

New Lainey riddle  -

Notes on a love triangle

She started out as a song girl, then acted, keeps trying to do both. At the beginning it was promising but mostly, over the last few years, it’s been a series of disappointments. Personally though, she seemed to have it together. A steady relationship, a solid commitment, no drama…
Or maybe it’s because we weren’t paying attention.
She and her playing partner have been having problems for a while. They’ve been trying hard to work it out. But that might not turn out so well if she finds out that he hooked up with a much more successful song girl, someone with a similar early sound and origin, though that’s evolving now. Despite her many changes, contrived or organic, this was probably not the intended image.

Top suspects: Mandy Moore, Ryan Adams, Taylor Swift

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Lainey - Drinks on the plane

And, another Lainey riddle, this one from Sept 10 -

Drinks on the plane

It’s an hour to fly from Toronto to New York. By the time you go up, it’s almost like you have to go down again.
But she was desperate, desperate for a drink. Even before take-off. Which was not allowed on this flight. She was told she’d have to wait. And she didn’t want to wait. Caused a stink about having to wait. Huffing and puffing, sweet features morphed into an off-putting bitch scowl. It was a scene. And she didn’t stop bitching until they put the first jack and coke in front of her once the seatbelt sign had been turned off.
That was followed by two more. Three jack and cokes on the flight.
So, maybe she’s afraid to fly. Maybe it was a terrible day. But with her history, and it wasn’t all that long ago, and the sh-tty influences she has around her, this is probably a concern, non?

Top suspects: Selena Gomez, Reese Witherspoon

Lainey - Oxy Love

Apologies for the delay on getting these recent Lainey riddles up. 

This one is from August 21 -

Oxy Love

To the outsider, they don’t seem to have much in common. The internet doesn’t seem to understand their relationship. But it’s serious, lasting a lot longer than people thought it would. How have they prevailed? Love, sure. And also…oxycontin. They’re both addicted to oxy and often spend days at home, wrapped up in each other, doing oxy, back to her old habits. But he’s been partying for a long time, somehow he manages to make the bare minimum at work. So when they hooked up, she just kinda fell into that lifestyle. It’s not like she has to worry about money. And it’s not like she has the kind of job where anyone’s waiting on her to show up either. She’s already a boss as it is and then there will always be a mirror to hold her up.

Top suspects: Mary Kate Olsen, Oliver Sarkozy

Monday, July 28, 2014

Lainey - Her only challenge

New Lainey riddle -

Her only challenge

She’s a girl who gets what she wants, sometimes much to our surprise, especially when it comes to romance. But you can’t game your way to a baby. And right now, she really, really wants a baby. She’s young. She’s healthy. She’s resourceful. In her mind, it should have happened by now. But, as of six weeks ago, she wasn’t pregnant. So this is her only conversation. She’s been asking for tips. She’s been asking almost everyone she talks to for tips – how did you get pregnant, what were you eating, what were you drinking, what position, what time of the month, what time of the day, etc, etc, etc…
And ordinarily, for people who find themselves in this situation, there’s a lot of sympathy, a lot of goodwill. Because, as Sasha answered earlier this year, no one wants to see someone struggling to start a family.
In her case however…
Well…
She’s not as popular as you might think she is. I mean, maybe among the privileged and the elite, but to those who have to work with her, or for her, she’s not as sweet and perfect as we’ve been led to believe. Everyone’s schedule has to accommodate her schedule. Every schedule has to change at the last minute for her schedule, ironically even if others have children of their own to manage and to look after. One source even said to me, “Why should I have to rearrange my kids’ daycare because she’s ovulating?”
On other projects, she’s not great at taking feedback. When someone disagrees with her, she tells them to their face that she’s reconsidering their job status. When it turns out that they were right to begin with, she’s the type to blame them for not being assertive enough. Some of her staff members have joked that it’s an initiation ritual to have her hang up on them. And she’s also really sh-tty about overtime. If someone’s been working out of their mind to make her unrealistic deadlines, she’ll then question them about how much pay she’s owed to them in return, either suggesting that they’re lying about how hard they worked, or implying that they might not be cut out for it since it took them so long to get it done.
Loyalty is starting to become a problem. Because if they’re not loyal, not only will they not stay, they’ll also start talking. They’ve started talking already.

Top suspect: Blake Lively

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Lainey - No time to grant a wish

New riddle from Lainey yesterday July 23 -


No time to grant a wish

"She’s great at giving big smiles, pretending her personality is as sweet as her voice. It depends. If she’s talking to Ellen DeGeneres, well, of course she’s lovely and accommodating. But what if it’s a child in a wheelchair?
There was a kid who had a wish. The wish was to meet her favourite star. So they made arrangements for it to happen at an event earlier this year where the star was promoting her show. They set up the wheelchair at the end of the red carpet, everyone had been informed, and then, when it came time for the moment, as soon as they started introducing her to her young fan, she cut off the handler, said, “NO”, and then walked away…even though the family had specifically flown there for the opportunity.
She has ONE advocate. One. And that’s only because he made her. But since he’s caring less and less about that particular project, when that’s done, she won’t have any supporters left. Because no one can f-cking stand her."

Top suspect: Lea Michele

Lainey - She's covering for him

New riddle from Lainey today ---


She's covering for him
"He’s had his problems over the last year. He’s found himself in some sh-tty situations because of it. Why the darkness? It was stress. The stress of feeling that he can’t come out publicly.
Lately though…there’s been a turnaround. Career is in good shape. And there’s someone new in his life. What’s she doing for him? They get along well. They both party…HARD. But she’s not his lover, she’s his front. Because when she’s around, he can hook up with men. And she’s happy to cover for him. She’s playing her part so that no one’s looking at what’s really going on – which is that he’s been messing around with a wealthy older man who spoils him…with sex and drugs.

So the stress is gone. But not the habits."

Top suspects: Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Lainey - His drunken proposition

New Lainey riddle yesterday -

His drunken proposition

Maybe this is what the girlfriends are for. He expects them to look great. And to just…look?
A few weeks ago at a Hollywood bar, playboy was partying without his bonafide. He had two of his crew with him. He’d been drinking. Or something. He seemed very …accessible and uninhibited. Once he found his target, he made his approach, with his friends as backup. After spending some time flirting with the dude, a very cute, young gay dude, he made a special request:
He asked him if he would be into a three-way situation, but the third participant would be a woman. The woman would be watching as the two of them got down. In his line of work, it’s all about variety. After so many years of anything at any time, he needs as many flavours as possible. 

Top suspect: Leonardo DiCaprio

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Lainey-Two Book Bitches

New from Lainey today:

Two Book Bitches

Two women at different stages of their career, both were recently promoting books, both behaved like assholes.
She was the young blush of her time, muse to an icon, dream girl to a generation. So it wasn’t a surprise when over 200 people showed up to a book signing. Here’s what *should* happen at a book signing: you stay and sign books. Many bestselling authors stay as long as they can, for hours, making sure they have a personal interaction with each and every reader, often posing for photos. Even Gwyneth Paltrow understands this. Sometimes it’s impossible. Like JK Rowling often has 3 or 4 thousand people showing up so what she’ll do is she’ll sign hundreds of boxes in advance and on the day of, she’ll commit to a couple of hours, sometimes more, to hang out with as many of her fans as possible.
But this woman? When this woman saw that 200 people were waiting for her, she scowled. Then exhaled, loudly.
“I have to sign for all of them?”
Well, um, as many as you can…?
“But I have dinner reservations.”
She signed for just 20 people. Then made her reservation while the others were left out, cold.
And what about Miss All Kinds Of Sweet and Sad? She fronts like an angel, like she could never possibly throw attitude ever, but we’ve all heard the stories from the set – how she rages around like she lives exclusively on the top tier and everyone else is her chorus.
At several signings in multiple cities, the behaviour was the same. Upon arrival, she barked orders to her staff and bookstore staff about what exactly she would tolerate: hustle people through the line, cut them off when they want to talk, push them through as quickly as possible, and “spare me from all of their f-cking sob stories”. In other words, these people are beneath me but you lowlifes are going to take the fall because even though they mean nothing, I still want them to love me and give me their money.
And so, with a fake smile on her face, giving the performance of her life, she’d greet her public kindly, while her people practically threw her fans up towards the signing table, several at a time, tossing them together like abused animals, crunching them close, a speed meet-and-greet on crack. How fast was it really?
At one stop she got through 250 people in half an hour. This, apparently was too slow for her so she gave sh-t to her handlers and at the next stop, what an accomplishment – 350 people in just over 20 minutes.
20 minutes! 350 people!
Can you imagine how that must have moved? How they would have been treated?
And then she was out. While fans were still coming in with their wristbands, bewildered that it was over already.
Who?

Updates as of 6/19/14:
#1 - Lainey has eliminated Diane Keaton.  Top suspect is currently Molly Ringwald.
#2 - Top suspect is currently Lea Michele.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Lainey - The Loyal Customer

New Lainey riddle -

The Loyal Customer

For years I’ve been saying that she is such a bitch. Like, terrifying. And humourless, unless you’re famous. But on a red carpet? If she’s sneering at you? There’s venom. Behind that cool, tall beauty, she’s vicious.
Now, maybe I understand why.
Turns out she likes her cocaine. She’s much smarter about it than, say, people who end up under LA bridges with sketchy explanations, or child stars who rage down the Pacific Coast Highway chasing down their enemies. How does she keep winning awards and protecting her reputation? How has she kept the sh-t off of her? Because beyond her love life, there has never, ever been any gossip about her indulgences, beyond the occasional fruit, especially now that she has someone else to look after.
One explanation (on top of her discretion): Customer Loyalty. Same dealer for a decade. He supplies only to very exclusive clientele and is selective about his regular customers. She’s a regular customer. It’s more than occasional bump. Never mind the boyfriend, that might be her most steady relationship.

Update --
Top suspect is Charlize Theron

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Lainey - He likes them big & buff

New from Lainey yesterday -

He likes them big & buff

He took off for the desert recently. To relax. And party. Without his girl. And gets high and hooks up with random men online (he likes them super pretty and super jacked), inviting them to his hotel room for a night of drugs and sex.
Two problems here. First, he’s a recovering addict and second, when he goes on these tears, he doesn’t use condoms. It’s the kind of reckless behaviour he’s been able to control through much of his success and for many years now. Curiously though, the last time this happened it was also during one of his transformations. Back then though, there was no explosion of social media and everyone taking pictures. Considering that he’s been hooking up with dudes who are on the young side (but totally legal), he’s risking being exposed by someone who’s out to show off and exploit.

Update 5/15- Lainey has eliminated Ben Affleck

Top suspect:  Bradley Cooper



Monday, April 7, 2014

Lainey - Single up in the air

Oops sorry, missed this one From Lainey from April 3 -

Single up in the air

He might not get a lot of attention on this blog but when he does, you always respond. He’s a well- respected actor who is friends with a lot of other actors and while he’s known to be sometimes temperamental with studios and executives, his work is always solid. Though he’s enjoyed a couple of high profile relationships, for the last several years, he’s settled down with a civilian. They married and had a child. They said he was happy and committed. That he’s not that guy.
So…how come he was all over a flight attendant recently on a flight from LA to NYC? He was hitting on her hard. And kept going behind the curtain to spend time with her. And kept asking for her number. He was supposed to be doing some work on his laptop but he couldn’t help himself – over and over again, hitting up the flight attendant station to try to get in there. Didn’t give a sh-t that the other passengers in first class knew exactly what he was doing. I guess it’s OK then that we talk about the Mile High Club. Even when he’s a cheater. Especially if he’s a cheater.

Top suspects:  Edward Norton

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Chris Martin's Skinny Fashion It Girl?

While discussing Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's "conscious uncoupling" today, Lainey gives us a hidden blind riddle...

Gwyneth isn’t JLO. Gwyneth aims high. Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, and the leader singer of Coldplay? That’s all status right there. The side pieces she keeps hidden. Lawyers and showrunners are not out in the open. When it’s out in the open it has to be A Name. Why did I keep thinking Jake Gyllenhaal last night? Jake Gyllenhaal could certainly ease the sting from a fashion It Girl who’s skinnier than she is. She just… never expected he would fall in love. And that he wouldn’t be able to fall out of love even after he ended it.


Update: Lainey revealed on 3/28 that this is Alexa Chung.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Lainey: Not pregnant but painkillers?

New Lainey riddle today -

Not pregnant but painkillers?

He recently had to pause on work obligations citing health reasons. But this superstar didn’t seem all that sick. That’s because the health reasons were related to his wife. She’s been keeping a surprisingly low profile the last few months. Which is unusual because, well, the wife is rather pap-friendly. The immediate speculation was pregnancy and bump-hiding. But there was no bump when she showed up at a major event so it definitely wasn’t pregnancy.
Apparently there’s a painkiller addiction going on. And that’s the reason he couldn’t make it that time. She had an episode and it was serious enough that he had to bail on work and help her out. Not a side of him we see very often – you know, putting her before him. Something she must have enjoyed, though probably for the wrong reasons. Still, she seems to be getting off on his attention. And that’s worrying for those around her too. She’s addicted to the pills and also addicted to his care.

Top suspects: Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel

Monday, March 10, 2014

Lainey- His ups and downs

From Lainey March 10 -

His Ups and Downs

It’s hard to stay up. Every time he’s gone up, he’s always come back down. It was thought that that was only because he was young. And now, with children and a devoted wife, he was supposed to be able to hold it together. So far, sure, but just barely.

There were signs before Christmas but during the holidays, he injured his back on a ski trip. This was not widely disclosed and kept out of the press. Painkillers were prescribed. The big movie was pushed back. Cocktails were consumed in combination at events. No one remembers he actually went to rehab several years ago. Still, so far, he’s functioning. And things are great with his wife. She really tries to take care of him but she’s not always with him. When he’s out on his own, it gets messy. There have been times lately where he’s been so drunk, he’s the dude passed out on the couch when everyone else has gone home. Either that or he’s the dude who’s all over the tall, attractive model type at the Oscar party that his wife decided to skip. Oh yeah, that happened. It keeps happening. They were talking nose to nose. He gave her the full charm. A “later on” was definitely implied, while everyone around him just shrugged. Because it’s not the first time and it’s not the last time and it’s the secret they’re all expected to keep. Not because he doesn’t love the mother of his children, because he does, he really, really does. But between the pills and the alcohol, he’s losing control of that side of himself that’s been held in check for too long.

Top suspect: Ben Affleck
Update: Lainey has revealed this to be about Ben Affleck.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Lainey- Old Grudges

From Lainey Feb 19 - 

Old Grudges

Remember his big snub?
Turns out it had something to do with his perfect wife. You wouldn't think anyone could hold anything against her -- the ideal mother, the supportive spouse -- but this goes back years, when she was a candidate for a set-up. A very powerful man set her up with a single man who needed a girlfriend. A professional meeting turned into him knowing everything about her -- too much about her -- and a very strange gift: wildlife. She ran the f-ck away and didn't look back, offending the major Hollywood player who tried to broker the romance. He was so disappointed in her that he put out the word -- he won't work with her anymore. And eventually, when it came for her now-husband to rise to acclaim, and against his own project no less, he called in every contact he could to make sure that the husband's name wasn't included, though in the end, even he couldn't control the outcome.


Top suspects: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Tom Cruise


Saturday, January 25, 2014

Connie Britton parents with Elimination Communication?

This isn't really a blind item.  This Lainey article links to a video of a Jimmy Kimmel interview with Katie Lowes from Scandal.  Apparently she used to be a Nanny for Connie Britton's son Yoby.  She told Jimmy Kimmel (and all of America) that she was a Nanny for a celebrity who didn't use diapers.  She had to take them to the potty and have the baby poop and pee.  This is called Elimination Communication (or "EC").  These parents are hard core potty training infants, basically.  Hey, I don't judge, but that does seem challenging for a parent let a lone a for babysitter to take care of.

Excerpts from the Lainey article -

Because Connie Britton mentioned yesterday that Katie Lowes – better known to you as Quinn on Scandal – used to be her nanny. For baby Yoby.   (Which you will now say all afternoon. Baby Yoby Baby Yoby Baby Yoby. It’s fun!)
... It has come to my attention that Katie Lowes told this story on Jimmy Kimmel about being a babysitter (nanny?) for a celebrity boss who needed her child not to wear diapers, but to be held over the toilet by his caregiver and "encouraged" to poop. The story is almost secondary to how much Lowes is freaking out that she shouldn’t have told it, and in fact signed an NDA about it. I don’t know if this is Britton but it’s definitely a male baby (I know, big surprise.)   The point against it being her, it seems, is that Kimmel (who is adorably fascinated by this) asks if it has a weird Hollywood name, she agrees (“super weird”) and I would like to believe that Yoby is seen as traditional from country of birth, not "celebrity weird".
But um – what if it is? It makes you feel like Tami Taylor is slipping further away every day, right?


So, we don't know if this was Connie Britton or not.  But possibly, since the baby had a crazy name.  Now I see Tami Taylor in a whole different way!  Anyway, it's interesting regardless, if you like crazy celebrity nanny stories.
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