Monday, October 19, 2015

Lainey - I guess she's into skeeves?

New Lainey riddle -

I guess she's into skeeves?

Last time we blinded about her, she’d had an affair on set with a married actor with a skeevy character vibe. His marriage is still intact. Another marriage, however, has ended. And she was, again, involved. Once again it started as a working situation. Of the two of them, she’s definitely more well-known. But even if you don’t know him by name, he books steady jobs, and his face should be familiar to you. He too is good at playing assholes.
When they met, she had a boyfriend and he was about to celebrate a milestone with his wife. Stage life and real life soon blurred, they were hooking up in and out of character, and she was texting him explicitly. They couldn’t let it go after wrapping up production. Which is why he’s not married anymore. He left his wife for her. According to their inner circle, they were so into each other that she followed him while he was on anniversary holiday in Europe with his wife. He would make up excuses during that trip to slip away and spend time with her. Eventually her boyfriend busted her and they broke up. He ended up filing for divorce in August and they insist they’re just friends, that nothing shady went down, that no one knows the real story. But those who saw all of it go down say they’re totally together now but are trying to put enough distance between the end of the marriage and their coming out so that people won’t suspect how they started, if that is, they last that long.

Top suspects:

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Lainey - He sprays too

New riddle from Lainey from Friday

He sprays too

A short and quick blind that gives some added insight into a high profile relationship:
It’s not just John Travolta who uses spray to fill in his hair. But this guy fronts like he’s way cooler. So they have more than just letters in common. And he's pretty worried about the hair loss. Right now then he’s using the spray, so much that it stains the sheets, the pillowcases, hard to get out.
So while his vibe is all chill, supposedly, he's just as concerned about aesthetics as his wife, which, I guess, is pretty obvious when you consider his signature style - another sign that this is finally the perfect partnership.

Top suspect: Justin Theroux

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Lainey - Too "upper class" for talk

New Lainey riddle - 

Too "upper class" for talk

For a year now she’s been pitching a panel-style talk show about love and marriage, similar to The View or The Talk, partnering with popular parent and women’s lifestyle websites. Because of her high profile, she wasn’t expected to show up every day but often enough, like a few times a month, so that the audience would know that it was hers – the Barbara Walters of the group, you could say. The other women included a newlywed, a model-actress-mom in her 40s, a single, divorced woman in her 40s, and a woman in her early 60s.
Would you believe, though, that even with her popularity with the MiniVan Majority, no one was interested. The show was rejected, repeatedly, while other similar shows, featuring other personalities, got picked up, like Tyra Banks’s FABLife. The reason? Too “upper class”.
Interestingly enough, this happened before everything blew up. And now that it’s all blown up, and she has everyone’s sympathy, the show still isn’t getting any play…even though she could be an expert at talking about love and marriage right now. But is she willing to go there? It might change if she’s willing to talk about it. Would she talk about it? On camera? Probably not. Not for the sake of the children. But that doesn’t mean it’s not leverage – not only from a business perspective but when dealing with that idiot too.

Top suspect: Jennifer Garner

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Lainey - Her Cheating Heart

New riddle from Lainey

Her Cheating Heart

The easy assumption is that their marriage is over because he cheated. He may have. But I’ve spoken to over a dozen impeccable sources, the best sources, sources I’ve worked with for many, many years. And while none of them can verify whether or not he stepped out, they can all confirm that she did.
They work in a small town. It’s a protective community. The community insulates their own. Even if artists f-ck up, the community generally keeps their sh-t contained, honouring a country code. So, even though a lot of people had a lot to say about her for a long time, out of respect for the business and for her husband, the community locked down her secrets. Also, they were afraid. Because, as two sources told me, “She’s crazy as f-ck. She’s the one who doesn’t just threaten to burn down your house, she would totally burn down your house. No one wants to mess with her”.
This is why no one could challenge her when she took a song from another artist, written by the other artist, without any notice, and went on to great acclaim for it. In public they all pretended like it was agreed upon and civil, but that’s not how it went down. She ripped off the piece from an emerging young talent and you saw it on that girl’s face – she was helpless at the time.
This is why no one wanted to expose her when she threw herself at another major superstar just before she got married. She offered herself to him repeatedly. While they were working together she presented herself to him one night only to have him push her out the door. So she’d start calling his wife, telling the wife that she was going to take her man, telling the wife that she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. And she started texting him, begging him to tell her what she had to do to get him to leave his wife and be with her. She promised him, over text, that if he was with her they would be country royalty. When he refused to hook up with her, he and his label received a cease and desist from her people, telling him that he would have to reset his album because she and her now-husband would no longer allow him to use any of the music they’d written together. This is how and why they all ended up professional rivals. But, again, at the time, because she had a reputation for being so unpredictable, with mercurial mood swings, and because she was so popular (to the public) and powerful, no one wanted to take her down. Until now.
The town is turning against her because her husband just cut her loose. He finally cut her loose because she was caught, very recently, cheating on him with a member of her tour team (he’s not talent but he has a prominent position) – and there’s a family involved. She tried, but there was no way she could deny it. The evidence was irrefutable. It was flagrant. And this is why people are breaking the code. They see this as the ultimate disrespect. The way she went about it, so carelessly, they see it like a willful humiliation of her husband, who is very well liked. This, on top of the fact that people have been waiting for years for her to get what’s coming, is why so many people in that community are ready to sell her out.

Top suspects: Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Lainey - His biggest problem

New Lainey riddle:

His biggest problem

There were a lot of women. Oklahoma was a few years ago. But Oklahoma was certainly not the one who was the most recent, although the most recent, professional turned personal, that I know of at least, is also not that recognisable, for now. She’s waiting for her moment.
Still, these affairs were not the biggest problem. The biggest problem is one he developed on the set of his most recent project. It started with pills and an injury a few years ago. Somehow he was able to function through that. Recently though he was shooting on location. He was a mess. He would go missing overnight. Not the prescription pills now but a hard drug. A very dangerous one. Not the party kind but the kind that brings you down, often alone, to escape. One that not too long ago took the life of a major, major talent. So it’s not the lovers that made him unsuitable for home. This is why she didn’t trust him at home. This is why she had to shake him up. But it’s not like he can get help openly. Not now, when so much is riding on him, with so much coming up. And that’s always been how Hollywood works. Your health is not the priority when there’s a multi-million dollar marketing strategy in place and so many stories to tell. So, sure, he has a support system, a lot of people out there looking out for him. But… is that the right objective?

Top suspect: Ben Affleck

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Lainey - She pays for friends

Sorry for the delay.  There was a new Lainey riddle June 17 -

She pays for friends

Since this is coming off a Taylor Swift post, let me clarify off the top now: this is not about Taylor Swift. Or anyone who hangs out with Taylor Swift – at least not yet. You need to go more down market.
At the beginning of her career, this one did have friends. They’d room together, audition together. And then, one by one, all the friends slowly, carefully stepped away from the crazy. And the sabotage. Once, before a meeting, she told a friend of hers that she was happy for her that she was reading for a part, because it meant that the producers were looking for someone “plain” and that she totally deserved that opportunity to shine. You remember the gossip urban legend about Gwyneth Paltrow seeing the script for Shakespeare In Love on Winona Ryder’s coffee table? Well, this is real life. This one would obsessively stay on top of all the jobs her friends were up for and ride along too. Then, if the opportunity came up, she’d backstab the friends’ skills, talent, commitment, even on occasions when she wasn’t even right for the role. For her, it was unthinkable that anyone else make it before she did. When she did finally make it, although she wasn’t the first choice for her now-hit show, the paranoia about what she’d done to others took over. She accused them of talking sh-t about her and demanded to see their emails. She’d invite them to parties but then piss on them in the bathroom for using her to get face time with industry executives. She’s spread rumours about the prettiest of her friends – they were on drugs, they were unclean – to make sure that they’d never overshadow her. So it’s no surprise that there are none left. The only constant in her life is her partner who she keeps from everyone else because she doesn’t want them moving in on her territory.
But lately she’s been noticing that the gossip media focuses on friendships – not just Taylor Swift but Gwyneth and Reese and Jennifer Aniston and the family that Kanye West married into …everyone in Hollywood has their own club. She wants to be part of a club. No one wants her to be in their club. She had to buy her club. She’s paid 3 or 4 women, none of them with her level of recognition, to start hanging out with her. So when you see her at dinner, surrounded by women as she’s leaving the restaurant? If they show up on Instagram and Twitter? Those people are literally employees. Until of course they become too popular.

Top suspect:Kaley Cuoco

Friday, May 29, 2015

Lainey - Has She Had Enough Yet?

New Lainey riddle today...

Has She Had Enough Yet?

You remember when he turned up in a small, out-of-the-way-of-Hollywood town not too long ago, for no apparent reason? He was trying to go undercover. Because it turns out, he was there with a woman…a very attractive woman… who is not his wife. They were seen holding hands at the hotel. But can you ever really hide? No. Not even out of the country. Not even by the sea. He ended up getting busted by fans and the local media got a hold of it. And the thing is, he told his wife that he was somewhere else. He and his companion have been having an affair for some time.
Of course it’s not the first time. He thought it wouldn’t get back to her that time in Oklahoma and that didn’t work out for him either. His wife forgave him then, as she always does, patiently supporting him as he works through his issues and compulsions. But he can’t help himself. When things are going well, he will always find a way to f-ck himself up. And now, finally, she may have had enough. Has she had enough yet? It isn’t instant forgiveness. Then again, he’s not exactly working hard to put it back together either. The temptations are too hard to resist. Last time he set his reputation on fire though, it was easier to forgive. And she helped him rehabilitate his image. Could he come back from betraying the perfect wife, walking out on a perfect home, and breaking up the perfect family?

Update: Revealed to be Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner

Monday, March 23, 2015

Lainey- Actor vs. Director

Lainey riddle -

Actor vs. Director

An acclaimed actor. And an acclaimed director. A director with a huge ego, recently made even bigger, and his acclaimed friends are pricks too, so it’s not like there’s anyone around to check his behaviour... until he took it a step too far with someone who has some experience with knocking around douchebags on set.
So it’s been a long shoot. And this is a technically particular director. His exacting demands have made it so that production is taking a long, long time. He berates and belittles the crew, he’s impatient, and he’s often cruel, even unethical in his pursuit to get the “perfect shot”. With the hardware now, he feels even more justified in being as unkind as he wants to be, because in his mind, art is often not compatible with compassion. Compassion was the problem when one of his leads, due to a physical ailment, relied on wardrobe to come up with a solution that would alleviate some of his pain. It was a relief to the actor and, for the most part, it wasn’t a big deal aesthetically, until a long shot was required, at which point the director noticed that an adjustment had been made to help with the actor’s discomfort.
The director went ballistic. He got right up in the actor’s face. They start screaming at each other. They decide to take their argument somewhere private, where they continue to yell at each other. It’s LOUD. It’s ugly. It’s level 15 on intensity. The director won’t forgive, the actor won’t apologise. Everyone can hear. And then…
The actor exits. On his own.
The director?
Is found by the crew moments later. On the ground in his tent. One punch.
Top suspects:

Monday, March 9, 2015

Lainey - Skeeve in real life too

New Lainey riddle:

Skeeve in real life too

Theirs is known as one of the most solid show business marriages. Both of them are talented. Both of them work steadily. Both are well-respected. Both can be rather high-brow though they’ve tried at blockbusters and secretly aspire to big movie status without the big movie star lifestyle though, seeing as they do try to live under the radar. Which works for him because he steps out on her all the time. Sometimes it’s with civilians. One time it was with a young actress with mesmerising eyes and the hair of an angel. It was dirty and undercover, just like their subject matter.
So when you see him in movies, and he always plays the skeevy older creep? It’s not exactly a stretch.

Top suspects:

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Lainey - The parent at the party with strangers

Another new Lainey riddle today!

The parent at the party with strangers

I’m trying to bank some goodwill with you so here’s the second blind in two days. You’ll understand tomorrow.
Motherhood hasn’t slowed her down. Not professionally and definitely not when she parties. I mean, some people can use recreationally and it doesn’t become a problem. Maybe that’s why she feels she can do it so openly. For her, she doesn’t act like it’s something she has to hide. Because she was recently hanging out in a hotel, with some friends and a few strangers, and she snorted a few lines, no paranoia, no worries about the fact that while these people certainly knew her, she definitely didn’t know them. This surprised me because she’s never been that girl who’s had drug culture association through her career. She’s not a fixture on the standard party circuit. She doesn’t roll with an LA crowd of club rats. But see? The Celebrity Ecosystem can still f-ck up your sh-t. Anyway, the kid is still small so we’ll give her the benefit of the doubt that she’s not breastfeeding anymore? That’s where it gets kinda sketchy.

Current top suspects: Penelope Cruz, Miranda Kerr, Sienna Miller, Scarlett Johannson

Monday, March 2, 2015

Lainey - Why he's sleeping on the couch

New Lainey riddle today, March 2 - 

Why he's sleeping on the couch

Before it happened, his friends were begging him not to do it. Begging him not to make it permanent. But he was in too deep, and a little wounded too after his most recent professional setback. So it happened. Despite all the warnings, he went ahead and made it official.
But the happily ever after wore off really quickly. It wore off a long time ago. Which is why while he’s working, he’s also hiding. Of course he could stay in luxe accommodations all to himself. Instead of sleeping in a hotel suite that they most certainly have the budget for though, he’s on his buddy’s couch. His best buddy. The one you’d think would approve of his relationship. But even his best friend thinks his girl is crazy. And understands why he’s decided to hide out, where it’s not so easy for her to find him. Which, apparently, happens all the time. She’s obsessive about calling around, looking for him, haranguing anyone she can to ask where he is, what he’s doing, why he hasn’t texted her back. Two sources confirmed to me that she’s been delayed on set a few times because she’s been shouting down the phone at someone in her trailer, demanding they track him down for her. And so, at a time when they’re supposed to be celebrating, he’s far away, enjoying his freedom for a few weeks. Is this what it’s going to be for a lifetime?

Top suspects:Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.  (Best Buddy: Marilyn Manson)

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Lainey - On location influences

New Lainey riddle today -

On location influences

Serious actor with a more serious actor friend, even though their friendship isn’t as public as some of the others. No pictures, but still, their names will appear together on party reports, and it’s always the kind of parties that feature douchebags leering at young models. They’ve come together again on a new project, working away on location. While on location, away from the media, away from the paparazzi, one influences the other. Which would be fine, because that’s his lifestyle, famously it’s his lifestyle, but his friend happens to be married. And it’s not his wife he’s taking back to his hotel room every night. The side piece works at the casino and that’s probably not a good place to be around for someone with his history. You just replace one addiction with the other.
This isn’t the first time we’ve run into some out of bounds play with him though. All of us were wondering if he’d paused on his long term relationship a couple of years ago with another co-star. That ended up fading, he got married, and now…well… now he has a temporary waiting in bed for him until he gets to go home.

Top suspects:Tom Hardy and Leonardo DiCaprio

Monday, December 8, 2014

Lainey - Open Professional

New Lainey riddle today, December 8, 2014 -

Open professional

The key to her illustrious career? Talent, of course. But also, she’s always been a professional. She’s never been difficult, she’s never been a drama queen, she always works hard, she’s always prepared. That’s also been the secret to her successful relationship. It’s an open marriage and it’s a solid marriage… because she’s a professional at protecting it.
She’s careful about who she sleeps with, directors and other actors she knows she can trust. And it’s all discussed, very professionally, before it starts. She dictates the terms of the arrangement. She’s very clear about exactly how it will go down – that there will be no commitment, that they enjoy each other privately when they are working together, and if she believes they can meet her requirements, it’s on. “Professional” was the word that kept repeating itself when my sources explained how she goes about her affairs. She’s always, always so “professional” about these hookups. Like the most efficient business deal.
Sometimes the men are younger. Sometimes they’re her contemporaries. Like the charmingly sexy actor who played her husband recently, especially now that he’s no longer committed. And they never tell because, well, being professional about it is probably the only way they can imagine doing anything as well as she does. She’s practically the best at her job, why wouldn’t she be the best at being discreet? 

Top suspect: Meryl Streep

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Lainey- her nickname for him

Lainey riddle - 

Her nickname for him

His attraction for her is understandable. Her attraction for him? Not all that clear, really. Unless size really does matter? For me, no. Size can be uncomfortable. For her, clearly a selling feature. Because she's been going around telling her friends about it. And her nickname for him, which she hasn't been shy about sharing, is "Monster Cock". Which is flattering, I guess, if you're in college or Vegas. But it's probably a little immature and maybe even a little disrespectful, all things considered.

Top suspects: Miranda Kerr/James Packer, Jennifer Lawrence/Chris Martin, Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Lainey- Notes on a love triangle

New Lainey riddle  -

Notes on a love triangle

She started out as a song girl, then acted, keeps trying to do both. At the beginning it was promising but mostly, over the last few years, it’s been a series of disappointments. Personally though, she seemed to have it together. A steady relationship, a solid commitment, no drama…
Or maybe it’s because we weren’t paying attention.
She and her playing partner have been having problems for a while. They’ve been trying hard to work it out. But that might not turn out so well if she finds out that he hooked up with a much more successful song girl, someone with a similar early sound and origin, though that’s evolving now. Despite her many changes, contrived or organic, this was probably not the intended image.

Top suspects: Mandy Moore, Ryan Adams, Taylor Swift

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Lainey - Drinks on the plane

And, another Lainey riddle, this one from Sept 10 -

Drinks on the plane

It’s an hour to fly from Toronto to New York. By the time you go up, it’s almost like you have to go down again.
But she was desperate, desperate for a drink. Even before take-off. Which was not allowed on this flight. She was told she’d have to wait. And she didn’t want to wait. Caused a stink about having to wait. Huffing and puffing, sweet features morphed into an off-putting bitch scowl. It was a scene. And she didn’t stop bitching until they put the first jack and coke in front of her once the seatbelt sign had been turned off.
That was followed by two more. Three jack and cokes on the flight.
So, maybe she’s afraid to fly. Maybe it was a terrible day. But with her history, and it wasn’t all that long ago, and the sh-tty influences she has around her, this is probably a concern, non?

Top suspects: Selena Gomez, Reese Witherspoon

Lainey - Oxy Love

Apologies for the delay on getting these recent Lainey riddles up. 

This one is from August 21 -

Oxy Love

To the outsider, they don’t seem to have much in common. The internet doesn’t seem to understand their relationship. But it’s serious, lasting a lot longer than people thought it would. How have they prevailed? Love, sure. And also…oxycontin. They’re both addicted to oxy and often spend days at home, wrapped up in each other, doing oxy, back to her old habits. But he’s been partying for a long time, somehow he manages to make the bare minimum at work. So when they hooked up, she just kinda fell into that lifestyle. It’s not like she has to worry about money. And it’s not like she has the kind of job where anyone’s waiting on her to show up either. She’s already a boss as it is and then there will always be a mirror to hold her up.

Top suspects: Mary Kate Olsen, Oliver Sarkozy

Monday, July 28, 2014

Lainey - Her only challenge

New Lainey riddle -

Her only challenge

She’s a girl who gets what she wants, sometimes much to our surprise, especially when it comes to romance. But you can’t game your way to a baby. And right now, she really, really wants a baby. She’s young. She’s healthy. She’s resourceful. In her mind, it should have happened by now. But, as of six weeks ago, she wasn’t pregnant. So this is her only conversation. She’s been asking for tips. She’s been asking almost everyone she talks to for tips – how did you get pregnant, what were you eating, what were you drinking, what position, what time of the month, what time of the day, etc, etc, etc…
And ordinarily, for people who find themselves in this situation, there’s a lot of sympathy, a lot of goodwill. Because, as Sasha answered earlier this year, no one wants to see someone struggling to start a family.
In her case however…
She’s not as popular as you might think she is. I mean, maybe among the privileged and the elite, but to those who have to work with her, or for her, she’s not as sweet and perfect as we’ve been led to believe. Everyone’s schedule has to accommodate her schedule. Every schedule has to change at the last minute for her schedule, ironically even if others have children of their own to manage and to look after. One source even said to me, “Why should I have to rearrange my kids’ daycare because she’s ovulating?”
On other projects, she’s not great at taking feedback. When someone disagrees with her, she tells them to their face that she’s reconsidering their job status. When it turns out that they were right to begin with, she’s the type to blame them for not being assertive enough. Some of her staff members have joked that it’s an initiation ritual to have her hang up on them. And she’s also really sh-tty about overtime. If someone’s been working out of their mind to make her unrealistic deadlines, she’ll then question them about how much pay she’s owed to them in return, either suggesting that they’re lying about how hard they worked, or implying that they might not be cut out for it since it took them so long to get it done.
Loyalty is starting to become a problem. Because if they’re not loyal, not only will they not stay, they’ll also start talking. They’ve started talking already.

Top suspect: Blake Lively