Showing posts with label Simon Cowell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Simon Cowell. Show all posts

Friday, January 18, 2008

One Remind Us to Never Sleep Over There Blind Vice

Awful Truth - Blind Spot - 1/17/08


Well, we were going to blab all about pee-happy Super-Duper
Cooper’s
nasty-ass demand that his (ex) blondie ditz dame get an
abortion—most men are simply hideous, straight and gay, all there is to it—but
after last week’s pooch-offing Blind left us in a very bad mood, just had to
offer up something, uh, a tad more festive to ponder this week. Hope you don’t
mind. Promise, back to the desultory trash soon!
So, remember
Bravado Boom-Cocks, the star with the overly loud, potty-mouthed manners who chewed out a poor party host? He’s just gotten himself a fabulous new mansion. Ain’t entertainment money just devilishly over-the-top? The pad’s as huge as the boy’s rumored endowment, promise. And he was bragging about the spread’s size to an amigo recently. And
said amigo was quite aware of BBC’s fondness for masturbation.
So, he asked the award-winning celebrity if he had yet autoerotically christened
the new mansion yet.
“Are you kidding?” bellowed the outspoken pisser. “Every room.”
Jeez. He hasn't even moved in to the joint yet. That sex addict works fast.

And it ain't - Kevin Nealon,
Kevin Costner, Kevin Spacey





Let' refresh our memory with the past Blind vice about Bravado Boom-Cocks from Sept 20, 2007 -

One Hell Phone Blind Vice - 9/20/07
Bravado Boom-Cocks is quite famous but not always exactly
beloved. Even though he’s a mucho gifted, award-showered, multitalented
performer, he’s not really known for his private cool. Indeed, BBC was out here
on the coast, having flown in for a project he’s doing, as well as a charity gig
he was asked to participate in—reason being, the charity’s contributing beaucoup
bucks to B’s latest pro undertaking. He was sorta forced into it,
actually. The organizer of said project had been in direct contact (no rep
go-between) with Bravado, a line of communication Mr. Boom-Cocks sometimes
chooses, as he detests pretense intensely. But Boomy-baby now regrets that
decision, big-time. See, Bravado isn’t exactly known for dressing, how shall
we say, chicly? BBC rarely wears anything even approaching couture. For this
reason, the organizer gave the charity event’s handler Boom-Cock’s private cell
number, which the handler blithely called pronto.
“Even though things are more casual out here,” the charitable worker bee blathered on, once Bravado answered, “you really shouldn’t be dressing like you’re going to somebody’s
barbecue or anything.” Bravado’s polite response? “F--k you, lady!” he
bellowed, and promptly hung up.
Then B dialed, brow slightly sweating with anger. Called up the guy who had given out his number in the first place. “How dare you? If you ever give out my number again,” BBC fumed, “I will see to it that you get me a new phone and call every one of my contacts and give them the
new number, you f--king bastard!”
BBC wasn’t done, either: “And for punishment, tonight, when I show up, I will be taking no pictures whatsoever, not with anybody, no matter how much money they’ve donated, so you can learn your lesson and never do this to me again, you f--king jerk!”
The poor man, no doubt holding his own phone far away from his eardrums, begged BBC to
reconsider. He did not. And you thought Ireland Baldwin was the only put-upon
cellie caller in town?
Think again.
And it aint: Sean Penn,
Billy Bob Thornton, Denis Leary





* Super Duper Cooper - Suspected to be John Mayer (making the ditzy ex forced to get an abortion Jessica Simpson).


Here are the links to the other Super Dooper Cooper BVs:
Oct' 07 and Apr '08 including a full list of the eliminated; and the most recent from Nov 2010.




*Bravado Boom Cocks - Suspected to be Ricky Gervais or Simon Cowell
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