Friday, January 18, 2008

One Remind Us to Never Sleep Over There Blind Vice

Awful Truth - Blind Spot - 1/17/08

Well, we were going to blab all about pee-happy Super-Duper
nasty-ass demand that his (ex) blondie ditz dame get an
abortion—most men are simply hideous, straight and gay, all there is to it—but
after last week’s pooch-offing Blind left us in a very bad mood, just had to
offer up something, uh, a tad more festive to ponder this week. Hope you don’t
mind. Promise, back to the desultory trash soon!
So, remember
Bravado Boom-Cocks, the star with the overly loud, potty-mouthed manners who chewed out a poor party host? He’s just gotten himself a fabulous new mansion. Ain’t entertainment money just devilishly over-the-top? The pad’s as huge as the boy’s rumored endowment, promise. And he was bragging about the spread’s size to an amigo recently. And
said amigo was quite aware of BBC’s fondness for masturbation.
So, he asked the award-winning celebrity if he had yet autoerotically christened
the new mansion yet.
“Are you kidding?” bellowed the outspoken pisser. “Every room.”
Jeez. He hasn't even moved in to the joint yet. That sex addict works fast.

And it ain't - Kevin Nealon,
Kevin Costner, Kevin Spacey

Let' refresh our memory with the past Blind vice about Bravado Boom-Cocks from Sept 20, 2007 -

One Hell Phone Blind Vice - 9/20/07
Bravado Boom-Cocks is quite famous but not always exactly
beloved. Even though he’s a mucho gifted, award-showered, multitalented
performer, he’s not really known for his private cool. Indeed, BBC was out here
on the coast, having flown in for a project he’s doing, as well as a charity gig
he was asked to participate in—reason being, the charity’s contributing beaucoup
bucks to B’s latest pro undertaking. He was sorta forced into it,
actually. The organizer of said project had been in direct contact (no rep
go-between) with Bravado, a line of communication Mr. Boom-Cocks sometimes
chooses, as he detests pretense intensely. But Boomy-baby now regrets that
decision, big-time. See, Bravado isn’t exactly known for dressing, how shall
we say, chicly? BBC rarely wears anything even approaching couture. For this
reason, the organizer gave the charity event’s handler Boom-Cock’s private cell
number, which the handler blithely called pronto.
“Even though things are more casual out here,” the charitable worker bee blathered on, once Bravado answered, “you really shouldn’t be dressing like you’re going to somebody’s
barbecue or anything.” Bravado’s polite response? “F--k you, lady!” he
bellowed, and promptly hung up.
Then B dialed, brow slightly sweating with anger. Called up the guy who had given out his number in the first place. “How dare you? If you ever give out my number again,” BBC fumed, “I will see to it that you get me a new phone and call every one of my contacts and give them the
new number, you f--king bastard!”
BBC wasn’t done, either: “And for punishment, tonight, when I show up, I will be taking no pictures whatsoever, not with anybody, no matter how much money they’ve donated, so you can learn your lesson and never do this to me again, you f--king jerk!”
The poor man, no doubt holding his own phone far away from his eardrums, begged BBC to
reconsider. He did not. And you thought Ireland Baldwin was the only put-upon
cellie caller in town?
Think again.
And it aint: Sean Penn,
Billy Bob Thornton, Denis Leary

* Super Duper Cooper - Suspected to be John Mayer (making the ditzy ex forced to get an abortion Jessica Simpson).

Here are the links to the other Super Dooper Cooper BVs:
Oct' 07 and Apr '08 including a full list of the eliminated; and the most recent from Nov 2010.

*Bravado Boom Cocks - Suspected to be Ricky Gervais or Simon Cowell


duffgrl said...

I'm not sure about the Kevin hint-maybe someone who plyed a Kevin? Judging by the last BBC BI I thought it was Ricky Gervais or Simon Cowell.

blurry vice said...

Very good call with Simon Cowell or Ricky Gervais. The "BBC" could be a big hint towards a British person. Also Simon Cowell is not well dressed, he always wears plain t-shirts.
The Kevin thing is throwing us off. Yes it could be someone who played a character Kevin, or Kevin Dillon maybe... something like that.

duffgrl said...

Today Ted reveals that BBC is as tall as Conan(but not Conan)
Sacha Baron Cohen???

blurry vice said...

After reading through both, Sasha Baron Cohen fits perfectly.

blurry vice said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blurry vice said...

ARGH!!! I just read that he excluded Sacha Baron Cohen! I hadn't read far enough down. Ted says, "First off, ain’t Sacha, but that’s a very good guess, because of a sort of birth thang Bravado and Sacha have in common. Second, BBC usually has a beard (the real kind, not the People magazine kind), too. And third, Mr. Boom-Cocks has as many awards as he does enemies. Sound good? Break a detective’s leg, hon! "

Also excluded - Kevin Bacon. "Right age, right coast, totally wrong bod type".

blurry vice said...

Alec Baldwin also eliminated. Ted says that BBC is hilarious, with better phone manners.

blurry vice said...

David Spade eliminated by Ted today - "Try someone a bit more conventionally handsome, far less girly."

blurry vice said...

Liev Schreiber also eliminated - "Keep sleuthing, 'cause Leiv is so far off. Think older, crankier, less of a studmuffin, slightly."

blurry vice said...

Benicio del Toro eliminated - "Benicio’s not one of the usual suspects in this Blind Vice. Try a different sort of accent other than Benny’s Puerto Rican one." -
This hint really correlates with our BRitish guesses!

blurry vice said...

Not Adrain Brody - "No, but you’re surely in the right dark-haired, diff-looking cojones park."

kittykittybangbang said...

This is going to sound nuts but what about Woody Harrelson. Woody hosted SNL when Nealon was part of the cast. Kevin Costner had a cameo in Play it to the Bone. Also the year Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston won the award for best kiss from MTV Harrelson was nominated for the same award with Wesley Snipes. Personally I think they were robbed.
Both Costner and Harrelson Lobbied for Matthew McConaughey's part in a Time to Kill which starred Kevin Spacey a movie that is about the KKK. Which sinks up with the three Kevin clues.
Billy Bob Thorton was in Indecent Proposal.
Denis Leary was in Wag the Dog with
Sean Penn had an uncredited part in 1988's Cool Blue which was a straight to video Harrelson vehicle and ten years later they were both in The Thin Red Line.
Harrelson was raised in Ohio which would make him from the east coast even though he was born in Texas and still has bit of a Texas drawl to his speech. He got his acting start in New York City and even though he only has one oscar nomination he has about 5 or 6 golden globe nods for cheers.

blurry vice said...

Not Woody Harrelson - "Right size frame and nasty ‘tude, but wrong (mostly) sexual persuasion."

Anonymous said...

wow - super duper cooper.. if that is really john mayer.. and he made jessica simpson get an abortion? ugh, what a douche

alana said...

Okay, I am going to throw this one out there. Billy Connolly?

My husband suggested him when I gave him all of the decriptive clues. Then we looked up some more of the information from the blind on the internet (he owned a mansion, he does charity work, he does stand up about masterbation).

I am trying to find the Kevin link, but so far to no avail.

Please let me know what you guys think.

blurry vice said...

from other BBC post

"Dear Ted:My first time emailing you. I'm thinking I may know who Bravado Boom-Cocks from One Remind Us Never to Sleep Over There Blind Vice is: Benicio Del Toro? Fits your descriptions. Diana Louisville, Kentucky
Dear Es Nada Del Toro:Benicio’s not one of the usual suspects in this Blind Vice. Try a different sort of accent other than Benny’s Puerto Rican one."

-This confirms our suspicion that BBC is probably British... Simon Cowell, Ricky Gervais, Sacha Baron Cohen, Or Craig Ferguson(he may be Scottish but is L.A. based) ????

Unknown said...

Just throwing this out there, Jonathan Rhys Meyers? He's Irish though, a different looking guy, but much shorter then Conan I believe. Do we have any idea of what his BV is though?

Aqua said...

John Cleese? Divorced January 2008, sold old California mansion (because of divorce?), oldish, really long dude and British. Maybe he got a nice bachelor pad for himself?

Aqua said...

John Lithgow would be excellent choice as well. Tall, British, lives in LA and plays villains.

Valerie Feria - Isacks said...

Lithgow isn't a pommie, see IMDB on him for full data

Valerie Feria - Isacks said...

Some good ones here already but I'd like to add Hugh Laurie to the contenders. He's tall, he's pommie, and he's involved in loads of charities too and been around long enough to fit the timeline.

Still if Gervais hasn't been eliminated my bet is on him.

Valerie Feria - Isacks said...

Just another idea. In British slang a Kevin or kev
can be slang for a typical a working class person that wears designer labels, fake gold, has to always be "in", is most likely a troublemaker and most likely smokes. Its use to describe the majority troublesome teenage subculture predates the use of "chav"; the British comedian Harry Enfield bases one of his characters on this use. (though I highly doubt the BV is about Enfield)

The Spie said...

Just to transfer some old information from another thread to this one, right now, the only thing preventing Ewan McGregor from being Bravado Boom-Cocks is Ted's statement that Bravado is older than Liev Schreiber. But, remember that Ted's screwed up on statements like this before, the most important example of that being Death-Mint Myrtle. Just wanted to throw that in here for the sake of being complete.

Tara said...

Other than this british accent thing, this sounds like Kevin Smith (Mallrats, Clerks, Cop Out Director?--Silent Bob). He is notorious for dressing horribly--long shorts, converse, trench coats. He had that airplane incident where they kicked him off or tried to make him buy two seats (he is bigger but not in need of two seats) and he ranted about it for a month; he would totally tell someone to eff off. He is in his 40s now, and for a while I followed him on Twitter and he ALWAYS talks about masturbation with this thing called a fleshlight (eeewww) and butt sex with his wife. This is completely up his alley.

lulu said...

I bet its Billy Connelly as Alana said. He is the only one who is hilarious, usually wears a beard, has a mansion, talks about mast'ing in his show \, old and grumpy, quite good looking etc.

Actually, 'hilarious' and 'beard' seems to give it away.. tell me I'm wrong and I have the cutest little maltese shitzu x
that has ever been created. He shops!
He leads me into 711 stores for dog food (though I feed him other good stuff) and 2$ shops for toys, he looks in everybody's bag, carries those little dog packets and when he was lost, WALKED INTO THE POLICE STATION - it's how I got him back! Mind you, the police station have the automatic doors but he may have remembered that the day that the police had sat him in the sergeant's chair put his hat on him and took a photo because the sergeant who wasn't there that day had the same name. Nino I was in there for something or another and they thought he was cute and asked his name etc etc. The police there the second time, said he just trotted in through the auto doors. I had left him with my mother and he was gone for 3 days. I went berserk. Let me know if you want to know more. He is a very funny boy. You have no idea..