Blind Vice: Stupid Star Gets Crapped on Yet Again

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Stupid Star Gets Crapped on Yet Again


We are really starting to feel sorry for Lucretia Johnson.
Last time we checked in on the quasi bloated, not preggers blond babe, she was seriously turning to alcohol to cope with her seemingly downward spiral. She's just not what (and where) she used to be, career-wise, ya know?
Adding to Lucretia's woes, her newest beau (with whom things have gotten quite serious since we last checked in) is making matters worse. Much.
See, it appears as if L.J. and her dude are on the marriage track.
Unfortunately for Ms. Johnson, what she doesn't know is that despite tabloid appearances, her man has "no intention" of ever walking down the aisle with her, claims an insider.
In fact, he is so grossed out by her, impeccable sources tell us, that he's still sleeping with his ex!
At a cheap nail salon in L.A., the ex was bitching to her manicurist about her ex's new high-profile romance:
"He has been f--king me practically during their whole relationship."
If that wasn't bad enough, apparently Lucretia's dude (who's blah in every way, hint, hint) was also talking about how "disgusted" he was with Johnson, admitting he was only using her for her money and fame.
Thing is, Ms. Johnson plays into this, totally. She's completely his sugar mama and is cutting out friends who try to tell her that she's just being used.
Apparently, the ex lady admitted they stopped doing the nasty behind Lucretia's back because the dude needed to keep up appearances in the press that he and Johnson are totally in love.
Could this get any grosser?
Wake up and smell the future, Lucretia! It's only going to get stinkier if you keep hanging with guys like this.
And It Ain't: Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez, Britney Spears

Please see the label below for our post on the other LJ BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: either Jessica Simpson or Christina Aguilera

Blind Vice: Bloated Babe Turns To Booze, Not Babies!

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Bloated Babe Turns To Booze, Not Babies!

We toss around the word celebrity here at Awful Truth, about as loosely as Toothy Tile guards his homosexuality. That said, there's a celeb in town by the name of Lucretia Johnson, whose talent is, uh, questionable, at best.
And the poor gal's also currently getting raked over the rumor coals for possibly being preggers. And, trust, in a town that wants to skewer folks (mainly women) for being a half-ounce over weight, that's pretty scandalous stuff.
Shouldn't be, but it is.
And guess what? Chances are slim to none Lucretia's with child because...
Her friends tell us the wayward babe's been "getting sloppy drunk for months."
Poor Lucretia has had a bad run of luck with men not exactly being loyal to her, hell, even nice to her. Johnson also has a bad habit of letting these jokers do whatever they want in bed—to sometimes yucky results!
Even though L.'s currently found a man who seems to be able to stick around and be decent to her, Lucretia just doesn't believe—deep down inside—it's going to last.
So the stacked sweetie drinks and drinks and drinks.
No wonder she's lookin' thicker than Levi Johnston's head these days!
Lucretia is also—according to her friends who have known her since she was a cheerleader at Happiest Place on Earth High—increasingly concerned that her most unimpressive career is fast approaching the point of becoming a permanent zero. Despite having had a fair amount of on-camera success in the past.
Ms. J., who really can sometimes do the cutest little flips with her big mane o' luscious hair, is also totally depressed that her more famous friends are quickly abandoning her, as she's just not the same hot celeb she used to be.
Hell, who needs friends like that? Good riddance, we say!
Get yourself to an AA meeting, Lucretia. Then you might realize this man you're with now isn't exactly looking out for your best interests, and neither are your avaricious relatives.
Sober up and smell the Starbucks, honey.
And It Ain't: Bristol Palin, Mo'Nique, Brittny Gastineau

Update 3/24/12 - Ted has eliminated Bristol Palin, Mo'Nique, Brittny Gastineau, Beyonce Knowles, Raven Simone, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mandy Moore, Vanessa Hudgens, Holly Madison, Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Snooki.

Please see the label below for a link to the new LJ BV.

Top suspects -either Jessica Simpson or Christina Aguilera