Saturday, August 29, 2009

One Young and Not-So-Confused Blind Vice

Here'a a blind vice from yesterday, written by Taryn Ryder while Ted is away on vacay.

One Young and Not-So-Confused Blind Vice
Mattel High School Musical 3: Senior Year Tree House Moment W/Gabriella & Troy DollsYou all didn't really think the hetero-Vice streak would continue, did you? Ted may be gone, but unfortunately, the closeting of some of Hollywood's most famous isn't going anywhere. Get ready to meet the guy who will have Toothy Tile breathing easy for a while.
Introducing Jackie Bouffant—a name you'd better get used to hearing. He's one of the most sought-after actors in the world right now. The undeniably gorgeous and multitalented young dude has taken the entertainment Biz by storm. His level of fame has been steadily rising over the past couple of years, although Jack hasn't really had to prove himself talent-wise just yet.
But with that face, hair and body, no one cares. This town is way too superficial!
So while Jackie is looking pretty in all the glossy mags with a beard constantly at his side (Crescent Kumquat or No-Beave Steve Jackie Bouffant most definitely is not), hardly anyone out there knows J.B.'s past life and love...
With another male actor, wouldn't you know?
At the time they started dating, they were both probably equally famous, but no one talks about Jackie's ex that much anymore. An equally gorgeous and recognizable face, he just never really amounted to much career-wise. Let's call him Frank Dangerfield.
Jackie and Frank were very much boyfriend-boyfriend, and they didn't do a very good job of hiding it. They went to a few gay functions together, a little hand-holding here and there à la Toothy and Gray Goose, and Industry folks knew the two boys weren't just going through an experimental phase. Unlike Nevis Divine, these two fellas are gay, gay and more gay.
But no one cared much because everyone (their managers and publicists included) thought these kids would just be F-list actors. Uh, not the case for Jackie. He became an overnight superstar.
So you know how it goes: Jackie's whole team of people tell him that if he comes out his heartthrob status will be shot and his red-hot career will go buh-bye. No teenage girl (Bouffant's prime fan base) will fantasize about growing up and marrying a gay guy. So Jackie dumps Frank and starts faux-mancing with some other babes around town.
Such a shame. And you all wonder where true love is in Hollywood? It's behind closed closet doors.
And it ain't: Channing Tatum, Kellan Lutz, Nick Jonas
Update 11/11/11 - Ted has eliminated Channing Tatum, Kellan Lutz, Nick Jonas, Bradley Cooper, Taylor Kitsch, Matt Bomer, Joe Jonas, Chris Pine, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake, James Franco, Alexander Skarsgard, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Matthew Morrison Chace Crawford.

Here is the link to the Jackie Bouffant BV from May 2010.  And here is the most recent, from December 2010.

Our top suspect: Zac Efron.  

* Proven by timeline of Ted's dates he was and wasn't a BV: Zac Efron

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

List of reveals, and those Ted says IS and is NOT a Blind Vice

Attention Eonline's Awful Truth readers who follow Ted Casablanca's Blind Vices: Refer to this list when making your guesses!  This post tells you who is who, and who has already been a BV!
Lately, Ted and the Awful Truth gang have been very generous with telling us who has and has not been a Blind Vice subject. We have been digging up archives and trying to figure out who belongs with what vice. In the meantime, here is an ongoing list of people who have been named. Also, we're throwing in a list of the people who are confirmed Blind Vices.
* Remember: according to Ted, he gives each celeb only one nickname....  
EXCEPT: 9/2/09 - The Awful Truth team now admits that they have given a NEW nickname to someone who has already been revealed as a blind vice in the past. So yes, they could have more than one nickname IF they are one of those revealed as one already.
* Check out Ted's Blind Vice Gallery from Sept. 2009- a list of 25 celebs with hints for their respective BV. Ted says that they are starring players. Thanks Ted! Also - the BV SS Gallery from 8/25/10... and the gallery 12/1/10… and the most newly updated Blind Vice  SuperStar gallery from May 2011!

Blind Vices REVEALED by Ted (and therefore eligible for a new nickname):
Britney Spears = Ivana Belch
Billy Bob Thornton = Butch Spit-Spat
Doug Reinhardt = Dexter Lecter
Andy Dick = Fart-Coif Cretin
Lance Bass = Chump Dump
Faye Dunaway = Sheila Muff-Driver
Teri Hatcher = Death-Mint Myrtle
David Duchovny = Sylvester Slimeball
Ted Casablanca = Pete Priss-Ass
Scott Baio = Day-old Dumbo
Carson Kressly = Flamboyant Floyd
Sigouney Weaver = Sahara Moxie
Jo Frost (Supernanny) = Brood-Zilla Clump-Butt (*see contradiction in lists below)
Jesse Metcalfe = Wendell Waxer
Seth MacFarlane = Mooney Tuna
Lea Michele = Pat Poisonpuss 
Robin Leach = Moisty Mohr
Elizabeth Taylor = Margarita Screwed-Em-All
Kirkland Dogmatic = Zachary Quinto
Teddy Big-Treat = Jonathan Groff

Not Confirmed but Semi-Revealed/Hinted by Ted:
Jude Law - Jake Fake
Jake Gyllenhaal - Toothy Tile
Rumer Willis - Ooma Offspring
Paris Hilton - Slurpa Pop-Off
Nicole Richie - Pixie Mixie
Lindsay Lohan - Morgan Mayhem
Heidi Montag - Hilly Ho-Tox 
Miley Cyrus - Me-Me Dallas
Justin Bieber - Wilby Whiskers
Alec Baldwin - Lloyd Boy-Toyed

Proven by process of elimination/timeline of dates that Ted has said they were not a BV, and then later confirmed as one:
Nevis Divine - Robert Pattinson
Nelly Fang - Alexander Skarsgard
Parrish Maguire - Taylor Lautner
Jackie Bouffant - Zac Efron
Chet Chick-Muncher - Viggo Mortensen (under dispute)
either Drew Smolder 'n' Such or Kelly Guten-Shoes - Ian Somerhalder
Priscilla Desert - Taylor Swift 
Polly Luscious Locks - Amanda Seyfried
Teddy O'Bong - Dominic Monaghan

Those who are definitely a BV according to Ted:

Aaron Carter (as of 9/21/11)
Adam Levine (as of 2/18/12, 4/30/12, 6/7/12) (* see list below)
Adrien Brody (once, back when he was interesting, as of 6/9/10, “just a supporting player” 2/27/12)
Alec Baldwin (as of 4/13/10, 8/25/10, 6/3/11, 8/22/11, 1/31/12, 7/2/12)
Alexander Skarsgard (as of 3/29/10, 5/23/10, 7/7/11 “he’s unafraid in the sexiest way possible and doesn't care who notices”, 7/26/11; 11/15/11, 2/22/12, 6/1/12) (*see list below)
Amanda Seyfried (as of 12/4/10, 7/29/11, 8/5/11, 10/26/11) (* see list below)
Anderson Cooper (as of 10/1/09, 11/25/09)
Angelina Jolie ( as of March '09, 9/11/09, 6/16/11, 11/14/11, 1/16/12)
Anna Paquin (as of 6/21/11) (* see list below - contradiction)
Annette Bening (as of 11/4/10)
Antonio Banderas (had a statue made of a certain body part; with Melanie Griffith - as of Aug '09)
Arnold Schwarzenegger (as of 5/17/11, pre-Maria days, and not about womanizing)
Ashlee Simpson (as of 2/10/11)
Ashley Greene (as of 9/28/10, 5/17/11, 7/14/11 “it’s very liberal, quite sensual”; 1/20/12)
Ashton Kutcher (as of 8/31/09, 9/11/09, 3/24/10, 9/27/10, 12/6/10, 8/23/11, 12/10/11)
Austin Nichols (as of 11/25/09, 5/17/10, 5/18/10, 2/7/12, 4/14/12)  
Ben Affleck (as of 10/15/10 - separate from Jennifer Garner's/not as a couple; 10/21/10 involves sex, 12/4/11)
Benicio Del Toro (as of 11/11/09)
Benjamin Millepied (as of 8/1/11)
Blake Lively (as of 12/3/10, 5/26/11, stars in her own 7/2/11, 9/13/11, 1/10/12, 2/7/12, 3/9/12)
Bradley Cooper (as of Feb '09 and as of 9/5/09, 9/11/09, 3/12/10, 9/15/10, 6/2/11, 12/14/11, 12/23/11)
Brad Pitt (as of 1/7//09 Ted says he has been twice, also 9/11/09, says "oldie but goodie" 12/21/09, 11/14/11)
Britney Spears (in BV gallery 9/11/09, hints that it is one that is not revealed yet - a new one besides Ivana Belch, also 3/12/10; “offender from years past” 8/16/11)
Brittany Murphy (as of 12/22/09, 3/19/12)
Cameron Diaz (as of 6/11/10, 1/20/12)
Chace Crawford (as of July '09, 9/11/09, says it's recent in 2009 - 9/23/09, 9/13/11; 11/22/11, 1/10/12)
Chad Michael Murray (as of 12/5/11 “awhile back”)
Charlie Sheen (as of 3/4/10, 1/14/11, 2/7/11)
Charlize Theron (as of 5/14/12, “recent” as of 6/12/12) (* see list below)
Christian Bale (“hardly Vice-free” as of 12/15/11)
Christina Aguilera (not recently, as of 8/7/10; not as of late 1/26/11)
Christina Ricci (as of 2/1/12)
Chris Brown (as of 5/2/12) (* see list below)
Chris Pine (as of 1/5/11 - wasn't the main vicer, 9/2/11 has a moniker) (* see list below)
Cindy Crawford (as of 9/5/11, 6/12/12)
Colin Farrell (as of 2/6/09)
Daniel Craig (involved sex; as of 10/29/10)
David Beckham (as of 9/11/09, 2/13/09, 9/15/10, 9/27/10, 1/11/11)
David Boreanaz (temper-related, as of 12/4/09; on 5/5/10 states it involved cheating on his wife; 5/17/10 sex; temper were involved, his wife was not given an alias; 7/24/10; 10/6/10; 4/27/12)
David Duchovny (as of 6/3/11) (SEE LIST OF REVEALED BVs ABOVE)
David Fincher (“a cameo of sorts, MJ, with a sexy Vice star, though his guest-starring role isn't very sexy at all”) as of 4/4/12
David Schwimmer (as of 9/11/09, 7/14/10, most shocking of Friends cast 5/3/12)
Dax Shepard (as of 6/24/10, 9/18/10, 2/1/12)
Demi Lovato (as of 3/13/12, 5/3/12) (* see list below)
Demi Moore (as of 3/24/10; then "not in the last 6 months" on 8/28/10; "hardly damaging" as of 3/21/11)
Diane Lane (as of 11/4/10)
Dianna Agron (as of 5/17/11; “shocking and there was another individual involved” 10/25/11; “a thing of the past” 12/19/11; 3/21/12, 3/22/12, 6/13/12) (*See list below)
Dominic Monaghan (as of 10/21/10) (* see list below, re: Lost cast)
Ed Westwick (as of 9/13/11; 9/19/11 was before Chace Crawford had one; 9/21/11 has to do with sex appeal) (* see list below)
Elizabeth Banks (as of 12/1/10, 12/15/11, 2/21/12, 6/4/12)
Elizabeth Taylor ("not too long ago" as of 5/12/11, 2/1/12) (* REVEALED, see list of exposed bv's above)
Elton John (as of 5/13/11)
Eva Longoria (as of 8/25/10; 11/19/10 - "teamed up with Tony for one of our favorite vices"; 3/13/12)
Evan Rachel Wood (as of 6/16/11)
Ewan McGregor (as of 10/16/09, 4/8/10)
George Clooney (as of April '09, 9/19/09, as of 6/24/11 “tres juicy, an older one; 9/15/11; 11/22/11, 11/24/11, 1/16/12,6/12/12)
Gerard Butler (“a juicy one” as of 8/23/11; “an older one” as of 8/26/11, appeared in decade from 2000-2010 as of  8/31/11; “no extra vice” 1/3/12; 2/27/12)  ( * see list below)
Gwyneth Paltrow (ages ago, as of 12/3/09; 11/4/10, 1/4/12)
Halle Berry (as of 1/11/12, “a really juicy one” 3/6/12)
Harvey Weinstein (has had a supporting role in one, as of 2/16/11)
Hayden Christensen ( as of 5/19/09, 9/11/09, 6/21/10, 9/15/10, 9/30/11, 2/15/12)
Hayden Panettiere (as of, and again 9/11/09, 5/17/11)
Heath Ledger (as of 3/29/10 - involved sex and drugs; 4/2/12)
Hugh Jackman (as of 1/5/10, 1/18/10, 8/16/11, 1/27/12)
Ian Somerhalder (as of 9/20/10; on 9/22/10 states doesn't involve sexy biz with costars; 12/6/10, 10/26/11; involves Paul Wesley, as of 10/31/11, 2/7/12, 2/8/12 same one as Nina D and Paul W) (*see list below)
Jada Pinkett Smith (as of 1/16/12)
Jake Gyllenhaal ( as of 6/18/07, 9/5/07, 9/11/09, 10/6/09, 11/25/09, 12/18/09, 8/17/11)
James Franco (as of March '09, 9/11/09, 5/10/10, 6/17/10, 12/1/10, "a repeater" 3/21/11; 11/9/11)
Jamie Foxx (as of 5/19/09, 9/11/09)
Jared Leto (a small one, as of 10/1/10; yes, as of 2/9/11)
Jared Padalecki (as of, again 2/10/10, 6/24/11, 8/8/11, 4/16/12)
Jason Segel (as of 1/20/11; practically outed himself, a funny one; PG rated 10/12/11; more ancient than Adam Pounce Prick as of 11/17/11; “mild” 3/7/12; “a vanilla one” 4/2/12) (* see list below)
Jay Cutler (as of 7/25/11, it was with Kristin Cavallari 7/29/11)
JC Chasez (as of 6/16/11)
Jennifer Aniston (was given two nicknames in supporting roles, as of 2/18/11; has never had more than one name in the BV annals, as of 2/28/11; as of 4/14/11 "appeared in at least two bvs, but not in a starring role") (* CONTRADICTION; see list below)
Jennifer Garner (as of Aug '09 - has dirt on the other Jen; 10/15/10 - separate from Ben Affleck's/not as a couple) * CONTRADICTION – see list below
Jennifer Lopez (as of 12/1/10, 12/13/10, 7/18/11, 11/18/11)
Jensen Ackles (as of June '09, 3/12/10, 6/24/11, 8/8/11, 4/16/12)
Jeremy Piven (as of 5/13/11)
Jeremy Renner (as of 6/15/12) * see list below
Jesse James (as of 4/12/10, was named in a double-blind with Sandra Bullock) (see Sandra Bullock - CONTRADICTION)
Jesse McCartney (as of 9/21/11)
Jessica Biel (as of 3/13/12)
Jessica Simpson (as of July '09, 10/28/10, 11/16/10; as of 12/3/10 - "stars way-solo in her vice"; 2/4/11 from "a few years ago"; 11/14/11 involved a combo of sex, drugs, and alcohol)
Jillian Michaels (as of 1/5/10, 5/12/11, "not too kinky" as of 5/16/11)
Joaquin Phoenix (as of 3/7/09)
John Mayer (as of Aug '09 and 9/11/09)
John Stamos ("ages ago" as of 12/1/09; "one of the sexiest ones" as of 5/12/10, 8/31/11, 9/1/11, “a fan favorite” 2/7/12; “was ages ago…but he made an unnamed appearance in a more recent Vice that was far juicier” 2/8/12)
John Travolta (as of 11/16/09, 1/19/09 says "more than once"; 3/12/12)
Jonathan Groff (revealed as Teddy Big-Treat)
Jonathan Rhys Meyers (is a regular, as of 10/24/09; more sad than intriguing as of 5/20/10)
Josh Brolin
Josh Duhamel (as of 9/29/09 - before Fergie, 10/31/09, “hell-raiser behind closed doors” 11/14/11)
Julia Roberts (as of 9/29/09, it was before she settled down, 1/26/10)
Justin Bieber (YES as of 10/8/11, 5/22/12, 6/28/12) (* SEE LIST BELOW)
Justin Timberlake (as of 9/11/09, 4/14/10, 6/2/11)
Kate Bosworth (as of 4/8/10; “only as a fairly insignificant supporting character” as of 9/7/11; 11/15/11)
Katy Perry (as of 5/19/11, 5/26/11, 8/29/11, 1/3/12) ( also see “either Emma Roberts/Katy Perry” in this list)
Keanu Reeves (as of May '09; "a while back" 8/30/10; 2/4/11 "was a salivating Vice that would make your nostrils and eyes literally pop!"; does have a moniker but not recent, as of 9/14/11; 11/16/11 not with Sandra Bullock)
Keira Knightley (as of 2/7/11, "when she was a bit younger and less sure of herself")
Keith Urban (as of 9/8/10)
Kellan Lutz (as of 9/8/11) (*see list below)
Kelly Ripa (as of Aug '09, 4/25/11)
Kenny Chesney (as of 4/14/10)
Kevin Connolly (as of March '09, 12/2/09)
Kevin Spacey (as of 2/22/11)
Kirsten Dunst (as of 9/11/09, 5/31/10)
Kristen Stewart (as of 3/25/10, 8/25/10, 6/16/11, 7/6/11, 7/16/11, 5/14/12, 6/4/12, 6/12/12)
Kristin Cavallari (as of 7/25/11, it was with Jay Cutler 7/29/11)
Leonardo DiCaprio (ages ago, as of 3/10/10; 3/23/11 "not one we would fully hate on"; 5/13/11)
Lindsay Lohan (as of 9/11/09)
Marc Anthony (as of 7/18/11)
Matthew Broderick (as of 11/17/09, 6/4/12)
Matthew Fox (nothing to do with violence as of 8/30/11; 5/31/12) (* see list below)
Matthew McConaughey (as of 5/18/12)
Matthew Morrison (as of 1/18/11, 6/16/11, 2/10/12)
Matthew Perry (as of 2/9/11, 7/19/11)
Matt Damon (as of 4/30/10, was back in his Ben days; 6/18/10; 6/22/10; wasn't alone & was incredibly fun, as of 2/22/11; oldie but goodie 12/6/11)
Megan Fox (as of 3/30/12) (* SEE LIST BELOW)
Mel Gibson (ages ago, as of 12/29/10)
Melanie Griffith (had a statue made of a certain body part; with Antonio Banderas - as of Aug '09)
Michael C. Hall (as of 9/14/09, 12/22/09, 11/17/10- not costarring his wife)
Michael Phelps (as of 1/21/10)
Michelle Williams (as of 11/4/10: not a big bv star, had something to do with heath's, in a less dynamic fashion, as of 12/23/10; 1/31/11; “had a few supporting roles… old news” 7/7/11) (* SEE LIST BELOW - CONTRADICTION)
Mila Kunis (“one of my favorite monikers” as of 5/29/12, 6/8/12) (* see list below)
Miley Cyrus (as of 9/11/09, 8/8/11, 8/29/11, 10/19/11, 3/26/12, 6/7/12)
Mischa Barton (as of July '09 - it's an older one)
Natalie Portman (as of 9/11/09, 11/4/10; a juicy one but isn’t too recent 9/16/11)
Naya Rivera (5/2/12)
Nicole Kidman (as of 5/4/10, 8/17/10, 8/25/10, 11/4/10)
Nicole Richie (reformed Vicer, as of 10/31/11)
Nikki Reed (as of 9/11/09, 1/8/10, as of 6/16/11 “from her Twilight days, not before or after”)
Nina Dobrev (as of 1/27/11 - "not a biggie"; 9/23/11, 10/26/11, 2/8/12 same one as Paul W and Ian S.; 4/24/12)
Olivia Munn (as of 7/22/11, 8/3/11, naughtier than O. Wilde’s 8/29/11; 11/7/11)
Olivia Wilde (as of 6/29/11; BV is sexy 6/30/11, 7/22/11 not as dirty as Olivia Munn’s, 8/3/11, helped her career 8/2911; 12/21/11; has to do with a man 3/13/12)
Oprah Winfrey (as of 4/15/10, 5/4/10, one of Ted’s faves 2/21/12)
Orlando Bloom (as of 9/16/09, 1/27/10, 9/15/10; "bv superstar from years back" as of 1/26/11; 11/15/11)
Paris Hilton (as of, 9/11/09, 9/29/10 "a while back")
Paul Wesley (as of 12/1/10, 12/6/10; involved with Ian Somerhalder’s BV, as of 10/31/11, 2/7/12, 2/8/12 same one as Ian S and Nina D)
Pete Wentz (as of 2/16/11)
Rachel Bilson (as of 2/6/12 “an also-starring Vicer from a ways back”; “a costarrer” 2/16/12) (* see list below)
Reese Witherspoon ( as of June '09, 9/11/09, 8/2/10, 6/4/12)
Renee Zellweger (as of 1/22/10)
Ricky Martin (as of 3/31/10)
Robert Downey Jr. (as of 3/16/10, was a while ago; also 5/11/10, 5/14/10; from his last life 6/10/10) (* CONTRADICTION - see list below)
Robert Pattinson (as of 4/2/09;  starred in one and guest starred in another - July '09; now states "kind of" 10/16/09; then again 3/16/10 states he has both his own and a role in someone else's; "has the same BV as he's always had" 6/19/10; "has his own moniker" 8/24/10; 11/25/10, 6/17/11, it’s legal 8/31/11; 10/17/11, 11/28/11, 6/12/12) (* see list below)
Robin Leach (as of 8/25/10) (see list of reveals above)
Rooney Mara (“badass” 12/22/11, 1/16/12, very juicy 1/17/12; “a few times” 5/28/12)
Rosie Huntington-Whitely (as of 6/30/11; as of 7/2/11 not as famous as Morgan Mayhem's; is sexy, does not involve lady-on-lady loving 7/6/11; 9/5/11)
Ryan Phillippe (as of 5/11/10, it was shared; 6/18/10; 6/22/10, 8/2/10)
Russell Brand (as of 12/3/10, 5/19/11, 5/26/11, 6/3/11, “nothing illegal” 8/29/11; 1/3/12, 6/4/12)
Russell Crowe (as of 5/19/09)
Sam Worthington (as of 8/17/11, 3/17/12)
Sandra Bullock (as of 3/26/10, 4/12/10, 2/25/11; 11/16/11 now says “has a Vice but not with Keanu Reeves”)  (* see list below – CONTRADICTION)
Sarah Jessica Parker (as of 11/17/09)
Sarah Michelle Gellar (hinted Aug '09 and confirmed Sept 1 '09, 10/6/10, “an older Vice” 8/29/11; 11/29/11, 2/7/12, 4/27/12)
Sarah Palin (as of 3/26/10)
Scarlett Johannson (as of 6/3/11, “made a deal with the diva devil” 5/15/12) (as of 6/15/11, didn’t have one when she wed Ryan Reynolds) (* see list below)
Sean Penn (as of 6/3/11)
Seann William Scott (as of 11/20/09, 3/4/10, "about 100 years ago" 5/28/10)
Selena Gomez (as of 6/2/11, 8/19/11)
Seth MacFarlane ("a very amusing one" as of 3/22/11, not specified if it is a new one besides his revealed one. - See LIST OF REVEALS above)
Seth Rogen (as of 9/11/09, 10/20/09, 7/1/10, 9/14/10 does not have to do with sexual escapades)
Shenae Grimes (as of 9/23/11)
Shia LaBeouf (as of 9/30/09; 10/22/10 may have contributed to his relationship woes; 3/25/11; 6/29/11; is douchey 7/6/11; “Vicing keeps him in public eye” 3/2/12)
Sienna Miller (as of 7/13/11) (*see list below)
Stephen Moyer (as of 6/21/11)
Steve Carell (as of 1/18/10; 2/8/11 - "so stupid and so long ago") (see below)
Sting (as of 6/12/10)
Taylor Lautner (as of 6/17/10, 9/14/10, 8/18/11) (* see list below)
Taylor Swift (as of 11/10/10 - has one of her own; 11/26/10 - not about her weight; 12/1/10 - not dabbling in drugs; 3/21/12) (* see list below)
Teri Hatcher (as of 4/7/10) (*see list of revealed BVs above)
Tom Cruise (as of 9/25/09, 5/4/10, 1/22/10, 5/13/11, 6/3/11, 11/24/11, 1/2/12, 7/2/12)
Tom Sturridge (as of 1/11/11)
Tony Parker (as of 11/19/10 - "teamed up with Eva for one of our favorite vices"; 12/1/10)
Vanessa Hudgens (as of 5/3/11: "She's an also-starring, not a major character in Vice history. However, trying to bounce up to feature player pronto"; as of 6/2/11 "was never a horrible Vice offender herself", 7/19/11 “hasn’t made it to the big leagues yet”; 4/18/12 “been a costar of sorts but no moniker yet (*see list below)
Victoria Beckham (as a couple, as of 2/13/09; nothing to do with her baby-making abilities, as of 10/2/10; 1/11/11)
Viggo Mortensen (as of 8/31/10) ( *see list below)
Vin Diesel (as of July '09)
Vince Vaughn (as of 9/23/08)
Wentworth Miller (as of July '09, 2/2/10)
Whitney Houston (“from many years ago” as of 2/13/12, “drugs weren’t her only vice” 2/14/12; 2/20/12, 5/23/12)  ( * CONTRADICTION – Ted says 3/12/12 that he meant that her only knew of her Vice but hadn’t written it yet)
Will Smith (as of 3/31/09, 4/2/09, 9/11/09, 7/15/10, 1/16/12)
Zac Efron (as of 1/16/10, 5/28/10, 2/7/11, 8/16/11)
Zachary Quinto (revealed as Kirkland Dogmatic)
50 Cent (as of 9/11/09, 4/15/10, 9/18/10, 2/11/11)
a country singer (as of 3/12/10)
a couple of NFL players (as of 1/2/12)
a few celebs who have been on DWTS (but not the pros, as of 9/30/11)
a Food Network superstar (as of 6/18/10) (* see list below, re celebrity chefs - CONTRADICTION)
a star from The Office (as of 6/30/10; then 2/5/11 "Aside from some of them having bigger egos than could fit in a friggin' huge, I mean huge, office—no. But if you ask me, some of them are just boring prick wads, at times, and that's just not juicy enough for my standards" = contradiction?)  (* contradiction - see list below)
at least two Entourage guys (as of 7/27/10)
at least one Jonas brother (as of 2/12/10; not Joe 4/14/10) (* see list below)
at least one of Joe Jonas/Nick Jonas/Taylor Lautner (as of 2/11/10) (*see list below)
at least one Gossip Girl gal or dude (as of 4/19/10, 5/27/10) (* see list below)
at least one cast member of the new 90210 (as of 2/7/12)
at least one cast member of Glee, not including Pat Poisonpuss (as of 11/13/10, “a handful” 1/31/12)
at least one of the guys from Glee (as of 2/8/11) (* see list below)
two of these three Glee guys: Harry Shum Jr, Chord, or Mark (as of 3/18/11)
either Chris Colfer or Darren Criss (as of 10/19/11) (* see list below)
"plenty" of female Glee cast members (as of 4/8/11; "most of the Glee cast is Vicey" 4/12/11; as of 6/1/11 of the Glee BVs, “One is sexy, one is stupid and one is just plain sad. Oh, and one is a dude.")
one of these three women from Glee - Dianna Agron/Jenna Ushkowitz/Heather Morris (as of 9/23/11)
one castmember of Big Bang Theory (as of 5/27/11; only one 12/5/11, 1/31/12; not K.Cuoco 2/27/12; an older one, not Jim Parsons 5/14/12) (* See list below)
at least one member of the Lost cast (as of 6/14/10, 7/12/10, 7/14/10; the island has "a handful" of vicers as of 11/20/10; M. Fox is one of them 8/29/11) (*see list below)
at least one (if not both) of Hayden Christensen or Rachel Bilson (as of 3/29/11) (* see list below)
at least one member of the Kardashian family (as of 8/17/11; Kris has popped out a few as of 9/8/11; not Kourtney as of 9/19/11) ( * see list below)
at least one castmember of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (as of 12/6/11)
at least one person from the cast of Magic Mike (as of 9/10/11; are male and female 9/22/11; three as of 4/24/12)
at least one castmember of Thor (as of 5/14/12)
at least one past Victoria’s Secret angel (as of 11/30/11)
either Ashlee Simpson and/or Pete Wentz (as of 2/9/11)
either Heidi Montag or Spencer Pratt (as of 10/29/10)
either Emma Roberts or Katy Perry (only one of them, as of 6/2/10) ( * HAS TO BE KATY PERRY as of 4/25/11)- SEE LIST BELOW)
four cast members of The Avengers (as of 1/23/12, at least one 3/28/12, a handful 5/14/12)
four current Oscar nominees (as of 1/27/12)
one of the New Kids on the Block (as of 5/24/10) (* CONTRADICTION!  See list below)
"one or two" men from House (as of 4/5/11)
one of the four Hobbits from LOTR (as of 7/7/10)
more than half of the Lord of the Rings cast (as of 10/25/10)
more than one of the women from Desperate Housewives (as of 4/21/12, recently as of 5/14/12)
more than 50% of the following crew: Cindy Crawford/Rande Gerber, George Clooney/Stacey Keibler (as of 1/3/12) (See also Cindy Crawford, George Clooney on this list)
more than a handful but less than a dozen of stars at the 2012 Kids’ Choice Awards (as of 4/2/12)
most of the cast of Friends except Lisa Kudrow (as of 2/9/11; update 2/11/11 "what I meant, more specifically, when answering mail the other day was that Lisa Kudrow is the only Friends star never even be attached to a Vicey slip-up) (* CONTRADICTION; SEE LIST BELOW)
multiple cast members of One Tree Hill (as of 11/10/10, 2/20/12) (see list below)
multiple cast members of Supernatural (as of 2/20/12)
multiple cast members of Gossip Girl (as of 2/20/12)
one of the Volturi from Twilight (repeat offender, as of 12/23/10)
one of the wolfpack from Twilight besides Taylor Lautner
(as of 1/5/11)
one person from the cast of GCB (as of 4/6/12)
one or more cast members of Pretty Little Liars (as of 4/10/12) (* see list below)
four of the 2011 Oscar nominees for acting (as of 1/31/11)
someone from the cast of Mad Men (as of 6/15/11, “some Vicey biz on Mad Men, but [January Jones] hardly at fault for it all”; 6/28/11; sexy 9/10/11) (* see list below)
someone on The Voice (as of 4/27/12) (see above, re Adam and Christina)
some Vicers are in Ted’s Hollywood Greatest Love Stories gallery (as of 2/20/12)
"tons" of True Blood cast members (as of 4/9/11, 2/22/12) (* See list below)
“tons” of New Year’s Eve cast members (as of 11/22/11; at least five 12/10/11)
two of the following Hairspray cast members: Brittany Snow, James Marsden, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Bynes, Nikki Blonsky, and Queen Latifah (as of 11/17/11) ( * see list below)

Those who have NOT been a BV according to Ted:

Abbie Cornish (as of 1/12/11)
Adam Brody (as of 3/19/10)
Adam Levine (as of 6/22/10, 2/9/11) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Adam Sandler (as of 1/18/11, old school and not so Vicey anymore, as of 2/16/11)
Alan Rickman (as of 7/7/11)
Alex O'Loughlin (as of 1/13/11, 8/23/11)
Alex Rodriguez (as of 1/11/12)
Alexander Skarsgard (as of 8/21/09) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Amanda Seyfried (as of 6/3/10) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Amber “Drake” Graham (as of 9/23/11)
Amber Heard (as of 12/14/10; 11/22/11)
Amy Adams (as of 2/1/11)
Andrew Garfield (as of 2/5/11, 2/19/11, 8/5/11, 1/10/12)
Anna Kendrick (as of 9/29/10)
Anna Paquin (as of 4/6/10, 6/27/12) (* SEE LIST ABOVE - contradiction)
Anne Hathaway (as of 3/24/10, 5/7/10, 10/7/10, 11/4/10, no clear answer on 11/29/11; no 12/15/11)
Anton Yelchin (as of 6/23/10)
Armie Hammer (as of 3/15/11)
Ashley Judd (as of 4/12/11)
Ashley Olsen (as of 9/1/11)
Ashley Tisdale (as of 1/25/12)
Austin Butler (as of 12/12/11)
Barbra Streisand (as of 1/10/11)
Ben Barnes (as of 7/9/10)
Beyonce Knowles (as of 1/15/10, 1/7/11; on 5/10/11 "no vice even remotely having to do with kids"; 8/15/11, 8/31/11, 10/14/11, 11/30/11)
Billy Ray Cyrus (as of 3/7/11)
B.J. Novak (as of 7/2/10)
Blake Shelton (“hasn't made as splashy a presence in the world of Vices as Adam L has” 5/2/12)
Bob Saget (as of 9/1/11)
Bono (as of 6/12/10)
Brenda Song (as of 8/29/11)
Brooke Mueller (as of 3/1/10)
Bruce Willis (as of 4/14/11)
Bryce Dallas Howard (as of 8/21/09)
Camille Grammer (as of 12/29/10)
Carrie Preston (as of 11/21/10)
Carrie Underwood (as of 11/17/10, 4/29/11)
Chad Ochocinco (as of 5/14/10)
Channing Tatum (as of 8/20/09, 6/10/10)
Charlie Bewley (as of 5/27/10)
Charlie Hunnam (as of 9/5/11)
Charlize Theron (as of 5/24/10) (*SEE LIST ABOVE)
Chelsea Handler (as of 6/30/10, 11/8/10)
Chi McBride (as of 8/6/10)
Chloe Moretz (as of 11/22/11)
Chris Brown (10/25/11) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Chris Colfer (as of 12/20/10) (see list above, re Glee cast)
Chris Evans (as of 8/26/10; "not yet" as of 9/13/10, 9/2/11, 1/23/12, 6/1/12)
Chris Hemsworth (as of 9/2/11)
Chris Pine (as of 4/23/10) ( * SEE LIST ABOVE)
Christian Bale (as of 11/6/09)
Christian Slater (as of 12/6/10)
Christiano Ronaldo (as of 7/8/10, 5/9/11)
Christina Hendricks (as of 3/9/12)
Christopher Meloni (as of 11/5/10)
Colin Firth (as of 12/29/10)
Connor Paolo (as of 10/3/11)
Cory Monteith (as of 6/13/11, 6/30/11, 10/25/11, 11/30/11, 1/20/12)
Courteney Cox (no recent vices as of 10/13/10) (*see list above, re Friends cast)
Dakota Fanning (“no official moniker” as of 1/7/12)
Daniel Radcliffe (as of July ’09, 6/16/10, 7/5/11, 8/15/11, 6/11/12)
Danneel Harris (as of 1/16/10, 8/8/11, 3/27/12)
Darren Aronofsky (as of 1/18/11)
Darren Criss (as of 5/18/11, 5/28/11; “nothing particularly scandalous on the Vice front” 11/14/11, 1/12/12) (*see list above, re Glee cast)
David Arquette (as of 10/13/10)
David Letterman (as of 10/6/09)
Dean McDermott (as of 9/5/09)
Deborah Ann Woll (as 0f 6/27/12)
Demi Lovato (8/16/11) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Denis O'Hare (as of 8/18/10)
Derek Hough (as of 4/17/10)
Derek Jeter (as of 2/17/11, 1/11/12)
Dianna Agron (as of 3/5/11) * SEE LIST ABOVE
Dierks Bently (9/8/10)
DJ Qualls (as of 6/29/10)
Drew Barrymore (as of 5/19/10)
Dr. Drew Pinsky (as of 7/25/11)
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (as of 3/27/09, 5/20/10)
Dylan McDermott (as of 10/28/11)
Ed O'Neill (as of 12/14/10)
Ed Westwick (as of June '09) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Eddie Cibrian (as of 11/5/11)
Elisabetta Canalis (as of 10/13/10)
Elisabeth Hasselbeck (as of 5/12/10)
Elizabeth Mitchell (as of 9/1/10) (see list above, re Lost cast)
Elizabeth Reaser (as of 11/21/11)
Ellen DeGeneres (as of 1/6/11, 10/13/11)
Emily Blunt (as of 1/29/10, 9/21/11, 12/6/11)
Emily Deschanel (as of 6/13/11, 8/31/11)
Emily Van Camp (as of 6/13/12)
Emma Roberts (as of 4/25/11)
Emma Stone (as of 8/5/11, 10/24/11, 11/28/11, 11/29/11, 1/10/12, 6/4/12)
Emma Watson (as of July ’09, 6/16/10, 9/29/10, 4/14/11)
Enrique Iglesias (as of 2/9/11)
Eric Bana (as of 3/17/12)
Eric Dane (as of 6/25/10, 6/22/11)
Erin Andrews (as of 5/14/10)
Eva Mendes (not as a couple with Ryan Gosling, as of 10/31/11; vice free 1/16/12)
Evan Lysacek (as of 5/14/10)
Evan Peters (as of 12/12/11)
Evangeline Lilly ("more like a BV adjacent" as of 9/8/10; 6/1/12) (see list above, re Lost cast)
Faith Hill (as of 3/9/11, 7/18/11)
Felicity Huffman (as of 1/30/10)
Gale Harold (as of 12/11/09, 10/17/11)
Garrett Hedlund (as of 12/23/10, 3/12/12)
Gavin Rossdale (as of 6/18/10)
Genevieve Cortese (as of 3/10/10, 8/8/11)
George Eads (as of July '09)
George Lopez (as of 7/6/11)
Gerard Butler (as of 8/24/09)  (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Giada DiLaurentis (as of 2/20/12)
Gillian Anderson (as of March '09, but says he will do one soon)
Halle Berry (as of 5/11/10, 10/26/10, 2/3/11 "but I think she's about to")
Harry Shum Jr. (as of 12/2/11)
Heather Morris (as of 1/18/11, 5/2/12)
Heidi Klum (as of 1/23/12)
Henry Cavill (as of 6/18/10, 9/9/10, 9/2/11)
Hilarie Burton (as of 3/27/12)
Hilary Duff (as of 8/12/09, but could be very soon; nothing Vicey bt HG and new hubby 12/12/10; 3/26/12)
Holly Madison (as of 1/24/11)
Hugh Dancy (as of 7/13/10, 6/12/12)
Hugh Grant (as of 3/24/10)
Hunter Parrish (as of 9/3/10)
Ian Somerhalder (as of 11/3/09 - but will be very soon) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Jackie Earl Haley (as of 8/6/10)
Jackson Rathbone (as of 11/3/09; then 11/6/09 states "not directly, at least not yet, anyway"; also 4/28/10 "hasn't starred in his own BV"; 6/7/10; "he stays out of the BVs" 10/5/10; no moniker, but maybe he’s a minor player 11/21/11)
Jaime Bergman (as of 5/17/10)
Jaime Pressly (as of 1/24/11)
James McAvoy (as of July '09)
January Jones (“hardly a heavy Vicer” as of 5/16/12)
Jason Segel (as of 8/20/09) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Jason Statham (as of 9/5/11)
Jay-Z (as of 8/15/11, 8/31/11)
Jeffrey Dean Morgan (as of 3/27/12)
Jennie Garth (as of 3/10/10)
Jennifer Aniston (as of Dec '08, 7/15/10, 12/17/10, 1/5/11, 1/18/11; on 2/11/11 "attached to a Vicey slip-up; keeps bad company"; then 2/16/11 "doesn't technically have her own Vice (she has a cameo in a couple of others)"; as of 4/14/11 "appeared in at least two bvs, but not in a starring role"; no moniker 11/24/11)  (*SEE  CONTRADICTION IN LIST ABOVE)
Jennifer Carpenter (as of 11/19/10)
Jennifer Garner (as of 12/4/11) CONTRADICTION *see list above
Jennifer Lawrence (as of 9/8/11, 10/6/11, 2/21/12, 3/29/12, 5/3/12)
Jenny McCarthy (as of 4/8/10)
Jeremy Renner (as of 3/19/10, 12/19/11) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Jerry O'Connell (as of 6/18/10)
Jesse Eisenberg (as of 2/5/11)
Jessie Spencer (as of 8/16/11)
Jim Carrey (as of 4/8/10)
Jim Parsons (as of 5/27/11, 5/14/12)
Jimmy Fallon (as of 10/13/11)
Jo Frost (as of 2/19/11)  - *  CONTRADICTION - SEE LIST OF REVEALS ABOVE
Jodie Sweetin (as of 9/1/11)
Joe Jonas (as of 4/14/10) (*see list above, re Jonas Brothers)
Joe Manganiello (as of 8/4/10, 1/27/12, 5/23/12)
Joel Madden (as of 10/31/11)
Johnny Depp (as of July '09, 5/7/10; "no current bv" as of 1/14/11; 10/17/11; 11/24/11, 2/8/12)
John Cusack (as of 4/1/11)
John Krasinski (as of 1/29/10, 12/6/11) (*see list above, re The Office cast)
Jonathan Bennett (as of March '09)
Jonathan Tago (as of 4/1/11)
Jon Gosselin (as of 10/2/09)
Jon Hamm (as of 4/27/10, 9/26/11, 4/3/12) (* see list above, re Mad Men)
Jon Stewart (as of 10/13/11)
Jorge Garcia (as of 9/1/10) (see list above, re Lost cast)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (as of 10/31/09, July 2010, 10/22/11, 2/27/12)
Josh Bowman (as of 6/13/12)
Josh Holloway (as of 7/16/10) (see list above, re Lost cast)
Josh Hopkins (as of 4/21/10)
Josh Hutcherson (as of 6/30/11, 9/9/11, 2/21/12)
Julianne Hough (as of 4/17/10, 9/30/11)
Julie Benz (as of 5/12/10, 6/11/10)
Julie Bowen (as of 10/29/11)
Justin Bieber (as of 3/28/10, 11/8/10) (* SEE LIST ABOVE *)
Justin Chon (as of 6/26/10)
Kaley Cuoco (as of 2/27/12)
Kanye West (as of 9/14/10, 9/2/11)
Karina Smirnoff (as of 3/15/12)
Kat Dennings (as of 2/7/12)
Kate Hudson (as of 8/22/09)
Kate Walsh (as of 4/24/10)
Katherine Heigl (as of 7/1/10)
Katherine McPhee (as of 3/22/12)
Katie Holmes (as of 6/3/10, 10/22/10)
Kellan Lutz (not directly, as of 9/22/09) ( *SEE LIST ABOVE)
Kelsey Grammer (as of 7/13/10, 12/29/10, 1/13/11)
Keri Russell (as of 7/16/11)
Kim Delaney (as of 9/30/11)
Kirk Cameron ("and never will be" as of 10/9/08)
Kirstie Alley (as of 5/2/11)
Kobe Bryant (as of 1/21/10)
Kourtney Kardashian (as of 9/19/11)
Kris Jenner (as of 9/8/11)
Kristen Bell (as of 10/13/09, 7/30/10, 7/26/11, 2/1/12)
Kurt Cobain (as of 4/22/11)
Lady Gaga (as of 5/26/11)
Lea Michele (none since hers was outed, as of 11/30/11)
LeAnn Rimes (as of 1/10/11, 11/5/11)
Lee Pace (as of 6/12/09)
Leighton Meester (as of 1/20/10, 11/24/11, 3/9/12)
Lenny Kravitz (as of 2/21/12)
Liam Hemsworth (as of 2/21/12, 3/17/12, 6/8/12)
Lily Collins (as of 4/10/12)
Lisa Kudrow (as of 2/9/11)
Logan Lerman (as of 11/14/11)
Ludacris (as of 7/26/10)
Lyndsy Fonseca (as of 7/1/11)
Madonna (as of 11/12/09, 2/8/11)
Maggie Gyllenhaal (as of 4/17/10)
Malin Akerman (as of 12/4/10)
Marc Cherry (as of 4/7/10)
Mariah Carey (as of 10/28/10)
Mark Consuelos (as of Aug '09)
Mark Paul Gosselaar (as of 8/12/11)
Mark Ruffalo (as of 5/16/12)
Mark Salling (as of 4/23/10)
Mark Sanchez (as of 1/21/10, not yet; 1/4/12)
Mark Valley (as of 8/6/10)
Mary Kate Olsen (as of 9/1/11)
Matthew Fox (as of 2/26/09, 2/11/10) (*see list above, re Lost cast) (*SEE LIST ABOVE)
Matthew Lewis (as of 7/15/11)
Matt Bomer (as of 10/29/09, 4/1/11, 2/14/12)
Matt Dallas (as of March '09, 4/19/10)
Matt Lanter (as of 1/7/10, 2/18/11)
Megan Fox (as of 12/18/09, 6/3/09, 6/30/11) (* see list above)
Michael Emerson (as of 11/21/10) (see list above, re Lost cast)
Michael Fassbender (as of 12/13/11)
Michael Jackson (as of 8/3/09)
Michael Sheen (as of 5/16/11)
Michelle Rodriguez ("besides the obvious" as of 9/1/10) (see list above, re Lost cast)
Michelle Williams (as of 4/2/12) (* SEE LIST BELOW – CONTRADICTION)
Mila Kunis (as of 1/6/11, 3/10/11) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Minka Kelly (as of 2/17/11)
Misha Collins (as of 4/16/12)
Nancy Grace (as of 5/13/10)
Neil Patrick Harris (as of May '09)
Nicole Scherzinger (as of 5/14/10, 12/10/11)
Nick Lachey (as of 11/22/10)
Noomi Rapace (as of 11/5/10)
Oliver Martinez (as of 1/11/12)
Paul Rudd (as of 2/18/10, 12/14/10)
Penelope Cruz (as of 4/14/10)
Penn Badgley (as of 5/27/10, 6/6/11, 3/9/12) (see list above, re Gossip Girl cast)
Peter Facinelli (as of 3/10/10, 6/14/10, 11/16/11, 3/13/12)
Peter Sarsgaard (as of 4/17/10)
Philip Seymour Hoffman (as of 6/12/12)
Pink (as of 7/29/10)
Portia De Rossi (as of 1/6/11)
Queen Latifah (as of 5/19/10)
Rachel Bilson (as of June '09 - never a starring role but has been by association) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Rachel McAdams (as of 3/17/10, 10/4/11)
Rachel Zoe (as of 8/25/11)
Ray J (as of 5/23/12)
Rebecca Gayheart (as of 6/22/11)
Rihanna (as of 5/15/10, 1/14/11, 5/2/12, 6/1/12)
Riley Keough (as of 11/30/11)
Rita Wilson (vice-free love story with Tom Hanks as of 2/20/12)
Robert Buckley (as of April '09)
Robert Downey Jr. (as of 10/22/11) (* CONTRADICTION – see list above)
Robert Pattinson (as of 12/23/08) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Rupert Grint (as of July '09, 6/16/10)
Ryan Gosling (as of 9/23/09,  3/17/10 - "should be, but not yet, soon"; "vice material" 1/4/11; 3/14/11, 4/11/11, 4/29/11, 8/16/11; 10/31 not as a couple with Eva Mendes; 1/13/12)
Ryan Kwanten (as of 11/24/11, 12/19/11, 3/17/12)
Ryan Reynolds (as of 6/18/10.  As of 6/15/11, didn’t have one when he wed Scarlett Johansson; “moniker-free” as of 8/17/11)
Ryan Seacrest (as of April '09, 11/8/10, 7/28/11)
Sandra Bullock (as of 1/5/11, 2/25/11, “moniker-free” as of 8/17/11;) - * SEE LIST ABOVE - CONTRADICTION!!
Scarlett Johannson (as of 8/20/09) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Scott Disick (as of 7/26/11)
Seal (as of 1/23/12)
Sean Faris (as of 1/12/10)
Sean Maher (as of 9/28/11)
Sebastian Stan (as of 3/21/12)

Seth Green (as of 11/12/09, and will never be)
Shakira (as of 6/14/10)
Sharon Stone (moniker-free, as of 8/13/11)
Shawn Pyfrom (as of 4/21/12)
Sienna Miller (as of 9/5/09) (*SEE LIST ABOVE)
Sofia Vergara (as of 11/3/10, 5/10/12)
Sophia Bush (as of 5/17/10, 10/8/10, 2/7/12)
Stephen Colbert (as of 10/13/11)
Taylor Kitsch (as of 4/23/10, July 2010, 3/28/11, 3/27/12)
Taylor Lautner (as of 11/18/09) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Taylor Momsen (as of 7/29/10, 9/21/10)
Taylor Swift (as of 12/17/09, 3/24/10 has not "starred in her very own BV" yet, but "soon, though."; as of 3/29/10 played a supporting role in one) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Terrell Owens (as of 1/2/12)
Thomas Jane (as of 10/5/11)
Tiger Woods (as of 12/1/09, 12/5/09, 1/7/12)
Tim McGraw (as of 3/9/11, 7/18/11)
Tim Tebow (as of 12/14/11, 1/25/12, 3/21/12)
Timothy Olyphant (as of 12/10/11
Tina Fey (as of 4/15/10, 8/22/11, 6/4/12)
Tipper Gore (as of 6/4/10)
Tom Brady (as of 1/21/10)
Tom Hanks (vice-free love story with Rita Wilson as of 2/20/12)
Tom Hardy (as of 10/29/11 “not a current Vicer”; “zilch” 12/15/11)
Toni Collette (as of 10/17/10)
Tori Spelling (as of 9/5/09)
Trace Cyrus (as of 8/29/11)
Tracy Morgan (as of 6/4/12)
Trevor Donovan (as of 7/15/11)
Troy Aikman (as of 1/28/11)
Tyler Perry (as of 11/27/09)
Tyra Banks (as of 12/8/10, 2/21/12)
Vanessa Hudgens (as of 8/27/09, 10/23/09, 5/28/10, of 2/7/11; "she's an also-starring, not a major character" as of 5/3/11; 4/18/12 “been a costar of sorts but no moniker yet”) ( SEE LIST ABOVE)
Vanessa Minnillo (as of 11/22/10)
Viggo Mortensen (as of 9/19/09, perhaps soon though)  (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Wilmer Valderrama (as of 4/9/12)
Woody Harrelson (as of 2/21/12)
Xavier Samuel (as of 3/17/12)
Zac Efron (as of 8/27/09)  (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
Zach Braff (as of 12/5/09)
Zach Gilford (as of 6/25/10)
Zachary Levi (as of 3/4/10, 4/21/10)
Zachary Quinto (as of 4/23/10, 5/4/10)
Zoe Saldana (as of 8/25/11)
Zooey Deschanel (as of 6/13/11, 12/8/11, 2/16/12, 2/27/12, 5/3/12)
entire Lost cast (as of Aug '09)  ( * SEE LIST ABOVE)
entire True Blood cast (as of 7/30/09) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
most of the cast of Dark Knight Rises (except Christian Bale, as of 12/15/11)
no celebrity chefs (as of 1/5/11) (see list above, CONTRADICTION)
no current Victoria’s Secret angel (as of 11/30/11)
no one from Bon Jovi (as of 6/17/10)
no one else from the 30 Rock cast besides Alec Baldwin (as of 8/22/11)
no one in the Claire Danes/Billy Crudup/Mary Louise Parker triangle (as of 2/15/11)
no one from MTV’s Teen Wolf (as of 6/29/11; “for the most part Vice-free”, as of 8/22/11; totally Vice-free 6/27/12)
no one from the Hunger Games set (as of 7/1/11, 9/16/11, 9/28/11)
no one from the group One Direction (as of 4/11/12, 6/13/12)
no one from Once Upon a Time (as of 4/27/12)
none of the pro dancers from DWTS (as of 10/8/10, 9/30/11)
none of the Kardashians (as of 5/19/10, 10/4/10, 11/8/10) ( * SEE LIST ABOVE)
none of the Teen Moms (as of 12/3/10)
none of the iCarly chicks (as of 8/5/11)
none of the NKOTB or Backstreet Boys (as of 7/15/11) (*CONTRADICTION! See list above)
none of the cast of Full House besides John Stamos (as of 9/1/11)
none of the men from Desperate Housewives (as of 4/21/12)
no winners of American Idol (as of 4/27/12)
the beard of Topher Hairy Tuchus (as of 2/7/11, hasn't starred in her own but has been a sidekick in a few)
the girlfriend of Nelly Fang (as of 2/7/11, doesn't have her own but has appeared in another BV)
the cast of Hawaii Five-O (as of 8/23/11)
the cast of The Big Bang Theory (as of 7/24/10) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
the rest of the True Blood cast besides A Skars (as of 5/23/10) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
the cast of Mad Men (as of 11/30/09) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
the cast of Sons of Anarchy (as of 9/5/11)
the cast of Gossip Girl except Blake, Chace and Ed W (as of 9/13/11)
the cast of the Harry Potter films (as of 10/7/11)
the cast of American Horror Story (as of 12/12/11)
the cast of NCIS (as of 1/31/12)
the ladies of Pretty Little Liars (as of 7/6/11) (* SEE LIST ABOVE)
the boyfriend of Veronica Bee-Stings (as of 5/29/12)

List last updated 7/5/12

Monday, August 24, 2009

Page Six- Just Asking

August 24, 2009 --
WHICH aging photographer used to evade taxes by having his clients write out checks to his favorite hangout in St. Tropez to cover his tab there? With business down, now he's ordering half-portions and free-loading the booze -- "There's even a designated 'surveillance' person to keep check that his drinks are ultimately paid for," says our spy . . . WHICH restaurateur held a disastrous tasting for friends and family at his new downtown eatery? After gagging on inedible dishes, the truthful tasters told the owner he shouldn't even open . . . WHICH reality TV women party so hard every night that reporters gripe the ladies don't get out of bed to do phone interviews in the day?

Friday, August 21, 2009

Lainey's reveal of "Smack No Kids"

Just in case anyone missed it a few days ago, Lainey did a reveal of her riddle "Smack No Kids". We knew all along it was Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart.
Here is the link to our full discussion in case anyone has a hard time searching for it.

One Stalled-Salami Blind Vice

New BV from Ted:

One Stalled-Salami Blind Vice

OMG, two heterosexual Blind Vices in a row! What's the world coming to? And guess what? This installment, just like last week's horror, is also about a supposed lady-killer who just somehow finds himself not really able to follow through—in every sense of the word. Here's what went down, or rather, didn't:
Horace Hum-Brow likes to play up his slightly nebbish, dork-dude appeal. It's certainly worked for the sorta good-lookin' horndog in the past, as Horry bags babes (entirely of the female variety, no Toothy Tile-type here, for sure) all the time. So much so, these femmes don't really have time to compare notes; they're all so busy getting pissed about his all-too-often abrupt departures and then his requisite brush-offs thereafter. He's a real skank, this one.
But guess what? Horace's questionable bedroom MO is finally catching up with him! Some of his castoff gals have now convened, and guess what sexual failing Hum-Brow's exhibited for each babe in question? Well, it turns out...
Horace must still be oh-so excited about all the tail his boob-tube fame gets him because once he's entered his partners, that's where it all stops. Uh, what do you mean, exactly?
"He just goes in and parks," complained one pretty sweetheart who'd had the misfortune of having a brief affair with Mr. Hum-Brow, whose famous name is probably what reels in half his conquests. "I thought maybe it was just a one time thing," added our between-the-sheets source. "So I tried it again in the morning, and then bam! He parked again! Just goes in and doesn't do a damn thing. It's awful!"
Regardless of the circumstances of coitus frozenitis, this much is clear: HHB doesn't try to please his partner in any other fashion, either. He just sort of nonperforms and then gets outta there! Über-douche!
Jeez, bro, what's your prob? Premature ejaculation? Not really into girls after all but keep trying to convince yourself otherwise? Or are ya just doin' the typical male thing and not caring about your partner at all? In any case, don't think you're gonna have so many babes to disappoint pretty soon, 'cause they're all stating to blab...about time, too.
And it ain't: Jeremy Piven, Jerry Ferrara, Kevin Connolly

Update 8/29 - Ted has also eliminated Dominic Monaghan, Zach Braff,

Sunday, August 16, 2009

One Naked-Googling Blind Vice

From Ted yesterday:
One Naked-Googling Blind Vice

Handsome enough, Fruzzy Tuna-Stench has never really had much of a problem with the ladies—that's because they usually don't tip each other off! Take a recent conquest of Fruzzy's, a babe who was so delighted to have found herself in Mr. Tuna-Stench's Hollywood Hills home, she wanted to squeal! Oh, my! And they'd only been dating for a bit, she thought, and he's already taken her into his private and storied man-quarters, such an achievement!
So there they are, the gorgeous brown-locked luscious one and her very, very famous bed partner, writhing away on the famous actor's oversize mattress. Tops off? Check. Jewelry off? Check. Then off fly the undies, too, so hot!
And there before our lucky gal lies the utterly nude, quasi-sculpted bod of Mr. Fruzzy...
Whose endowment our darling sex-horned babe cannot wait to devour and jump on—and dine away she does, impressive, horny girl! Only problem is…Mr. Fruzzy's private parts aren't exactly responding in kind. Something's wrong. Our sexed-out source wonders, Is it me? As she's a knockout above all knockouts, highly unlikely.
Disappointed with the fun foreplay stuff, Fruzzy's bed partner decides to just jump ahead to the main course, and go ahead and let daddy have his entrée right away, maybe he's just not a nooky appetizer kinda guy? Just strictly a meat and potatoes dude maybe? So they assume the position. And, well, nothin's happenin' in that department, either.
Alas, Fruzzy just can't get it up, and the amorous evening of promising love bites is a bust. Utterly depressed, our disappointed babe watches as Fruzzy, still naked, gets up and walk into his den, where he stays for some time. So she decides to follow him, wondering what's up.
And guess who's sitting at a computer Googling himself without a stitch on? Best part of all? Finally something had arisen—and it wasn't just the poor girl's irritation.

And It Ain't: Bradley Cooper, Stephen Moyer, John Mayer

Update Sept 22 - Ted has also eliminated David Duchovny, Kellan Lutz, George Clooney, Russell Brand, Keanu Reeves, Emile Hirsch.

Star Magazine blind item

From Star Magazine

Which Hollywood hubby has been cheating on his pregnant wife with a teenager? He’s definitely known as a cad, but even for him, this is ridiculous.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

One Bonus Cherry-Poppin' Blind Vice

I missed this yesterday... a bonus blind from Ted -

One Bonus Cherry-Poppin Blind Vice
Darlings, you have no idea how much we wish we didn't have to make this hot little gem a Blind Vice. But our E! attorney, a nasty little bitch from New York who hasn't had any action since Britney was a virgin, insists the veil must be dropped. Oh, whatever.
Still, it's hot 'n' dishy! So let us introduce you to Me-Me Dallas and Tobey Yum Yum, two up-and-coming celebs who we know are going to be B.V. regulars—like Morgan Mayhem, but tons sexier and more fun!
You can tell that Me-Me is dying to be bad; she always seems to be getting herself into hiccup after hiccup. And as for Tobey, we've always known he was a troublemaker, but for some reason Mr. Yummy has been able to fly more under the radar. Blame the dimples.
Anyway, this stormy couple had a very thundering moment a year or so back. They were working on a TV show together, and neither of them were quite as virginal as they try to tell you they are...
See, Me-Me and Tobey took a break together out in M's trailer, and let's say everyone on the set got an earful of just how much these two cuddly teens hunger for and adore each other. More importantly (and so adoringly), they decided to be each other's firsts. There. And. Then. On a stage set! For the whole crew to listen to!
And everyone on-set heard exactly how well that undertaking went down. And up. And in the middle and sideways...
We feel incredibly perverted writing about this, but it just had to be shared, don't you think? I mean, particularly since both parties couldn't wait to tell everybody else that what they heard was, uh, what they heard.
And it ain't: Dakota Fanning & Chris Evans, Taylor Momsen & Chace Crawford, Camilla Belle & Joe Jonas

* For Me-Me Dallas:
As of 3/8/11, Ted has eliminated Dakota Fanning, Taylor Momsen, Camilla Belle, Demi Lovato, Meaghan Martin, Selena Gomez, Anna Paquin, Rumer Willis, Emma Watson, Rihanna, Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed, Julia Stiles, Lea Michele
Top suspect: Miley Cyrus

* For Tobey Yum-Yum:
As of 6/18/10, Ted has eliminated Chris Evans, Chace Crawford, Joe Jonas, John Goodman, Robert Pattinson, Mark Salling, Ian Somerhalder
Top suspect: Nick Jonas.

Here is the link to the new Me-Me Dallas Blind Vice from 5/13/10.

And here is the link to the new Tobey Yum-Yum Blind Vice from 6/18/10.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Page Six- Just Asking

From yesterday:

August 9, 2009 --
WHICH elderly print journalist is deep in the closet and trolls Craigslist for younger men? When one asked him what he does for a living, he replied, "Write nonfiction books, news (can't I be a little discreet?)" . . . WHICH unmarried Hollywood couple have an open relationship? He's been sleeping with a much less attractive actress, but she prefers women anyway . . . WHICH reality-TV starlets swing both ways? The 20-something co-stars were kissing at a recent getaway and stayed together in a hotel room.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Blind Vice: Morgan Mayhem Strikes Again!

A Little More Personal (Raw)Ted today... another Lindsay Lohan BV...

Blind Vice: Morgan Mayhem Strikes Again!

Most featured Blind Vice babes just guest star in this blolumn, but Morgan Mayhem's practically a series regular here at the Awful Truth. Truthfully, she should be happy for the work, especially since she's favored her drama and drug addiction over any semblance of a once spot-on career.
We're almost falling asleep at Morg's predictable downward spiral, and it looks like she's bored, too—she's looking for a change.
Not in lifestyle, like sobering up finally and screwing her head on right, but in drug choice. M2's party days of dipping her nose in the white stuff just don't thrill anymore, which may be why she turned to meth (Wonder if she and Emma Uh-Oh ever hung out in the same crystal-abusing circles?). Morgy got bored with that, too, and has moved onto something entirely new to stick in her bod.
And it's deadlier than blow or meth, if you can believe it:
If Michael Jackson's death can be used as a cautionary tale, Morgan Mayhem's new fave things, prescription drugs, are the most dangerous things to abuse. Why? Well, (a) they're easy to get and keep getting, as long as you get that first prescription, and (b) abusers don't exactly consider themselves to be abusing drugs in the naughty sense of the D-word, since they got 'em straight from a doctor. A medical "professional" gave them to me, so it must be OK! Right?
So wrong. Morg's constantly up on Adderall, among other happy pills. Some wouldn't be surprised that the unfocused honey's got ADD, but this is strictly for recreational use as opposed to anything M2 actually needs—gives her a much-mellower high as opposed to an anxious tick like blow, and she can actually get some work done! Girl can actually fake being sober a lot better than she could before, which only encourages her to keep pill-popping like mad. But deep down she must know something's not right, since she still tries to hide her habit from everyone around her.
But she's not always successful: M2 was just caught red-handed with the script stuff by her dearest friends—the paparazzi. Spilled all over the sidewalk, reds, blues and purples falling out of her purse, M-hon scrambling to pick them all up. She begged her photo friends to erase the pics, which they did—and they would, if they wanted Ms. Mayhem to keep calling them whenever she goes out on the town.
So can't anyone help poor Morgan? Anyone?
And it ain't: Kristen Stewart, Hayden Panettiere, Mischa Barton

* Links to previous Morgan Mayhem BVs:
Vintage Morgan BVs
One Air-Sick Blind Vice

One Drugged Starlet BV

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Lainey: Rough patch, happy ending

From Lainey yesterday:

Rough Patch, Happy Ending

He’d strayed before with a civilian but she can handle a civilian. Their most recent rough patch however was a result of his affair with a gorgeous one hit wonder. Professional and personal lines all tangled up, especially since there was already some history between the two, and it was a humiliation that pushed the marriage to the brink. They took some time away from each other and re-evaluated and while it comes as no shock that she was willing to preserve the white picket fence his decision to end it with his paramour did surprise some who thought he was done with that life. In the end, there is still a lot of love there. And they are doing what they think is best for the kids too.All’s well now. For now.3 famous people involved.

* Update Aug 3 - Lainey has eliminated: Sean Penn/Robin Wright Penn/Natalie Portman.

* Top suspects: Chris Martin/Gwyneth Paltrow/Natalie Imbruglia.

Twilight Blind Vice: Terry Tush-Trade's Freaked

From Ted yesterday...

Twilight Blind Vice: Terry Tush Trade's Freaked

What a mess Terry Tush-Trade feels overwhelmed by right now, both professionally and personally.
If only someone could shake Terry's well-coiffed little head and say it's all OK, you've got the world before you, fans are quivering at your gorgeous toes—you have nothing to worry about, sweet stuff!
But Terry just doesn't see it that way, not at all. Result: The good-looking Twilight franchise performer is sinking further and further into checking out, via booze and drugs, nothing too heavy right now, but we all know where that getting-high road leads, right?
Dammit, get it together, Tush-Trade, before it's too late! Pressure to perform for Summit in top-capacity isn't the only thing troubling TTT. As we told you before, Terr-bear's got a little lovin' secret (actually not so secret) that's already creating pressure for the beauty. Not to mention affairs of the heart from both sexes pulling TTT strongly.
And now, to add to that very Toothy Tile-esque endeavor, Terry's getting piles more directions from Summit on how to act, what to say, what not to say, don't go there, don't wink this, don't utter that—Terry's goin' nutso in the process!
Therefore, Tush-Trade's mode of response has become increasingly...
Soaked in the 80-proof stuff, not to mention smoking this and popping that, just to keep it together.
Oh, if only everybody concerned (mainly you, Summit, you chastising corporate spoilsports) would let Terry be the natural bisexual lover Tush-Trade was born as. I mean, certainly didn't hurt Angelina Jolie any, right? She finally chose a mate to settle down with, once she was allowed to romp and roam on whichever mattress she chose.
And good for her! It's one of the things we admire about Jolie, that she never hid her sexuality, something Terry's dying to do, as well.
But Terry keeps getting told, "Pull that one, and you're on the next train to Rachelle Lefevre-ville." And we all know where that is: totally the wrong side of the career tracks...for now, at least.
Fight back, Terry and Rachelle, you can both change the world!
And it ain't: Rachelle Lefevre, Ashley Greene, Billy Burke

* The link to the first TTT BV from 6/5/09 is here including a full list of who has been eliminated.
And here is the link to the most recent TTT BV from 7/9/10.

* Our top suspect: ??? Although Kristen Stewart is one of the only ones left for this... but we think she may be Twyla Babe Sucker from a different BV.