One Naked-Googling Blind Vice
Handsome enough, Fruzzy Tuna-Stench has never really had much of a problem with the ladies—that's because they usually don't tip each other off! Take a recent conquest of Fruzzy's, a babe who was so delighted to have found herself in Mr. Tuna-Stench's Hollywood Hills home, she wanted to squeal! Oh, my! And they'd only been dating for a bit, she thought, and he's already taken her into his private and storied man-quarters, such an achievement!
So there they are, the gorgeous brown-locked luscious one and her very, very famous bed partner, writhing away on the famous actor's oversize mattress. Tops off? Check. Jewelry off? Check. Then off fly the undies, too, so hot!
And there before our lucky gal lies the utterly nude, quasi-sculpted bod of Mr. Fruzzy...
Whose endowment our darling sex-horned babe cannot wait to devour and jump on—and dine away she does, impressive, horny girl! Only problem is…Mr. Fruzzy's private parts aren't exactly responding in kind. Something's wrong. Our sexed-out source wonders, Is it me? As she's a knockout above all knockouts, highly unlikely.
Disappointed with the fun foreplay stuff, Fruzzy's bed partner decides to just jump ahead to the main course, and go ahead and let daddy have his entrée right away, maybe he's just not a nooky appetizer kinda guy? Just strictly a meat and potatoes dude maybe? So they assume the position. And, well, nothin's happenin' in that department, either.
Alas, Fruzzy just can't get it up, and the amorous evening of promising love bites is a bust. Utterly depressed, our disappointed babe watches as Fruzzy, still naked, gets up and walk into his den, where he stays for some time. So she decides to follow him, wondering what's up.
And guess who's sitting at a computer Googling himself without a stitch on? Best part of all? Finally something had arisen—and it wasn't just the poor girl's irritation.
And It Ain't: Bradley Cooper, Stephen Moyer, John Mayer
Update Sept 22 - Ted has also eliminated David Duchovny, Kellan Lutz, George Clooney, Russell Brand, Keanu Reeves, Emile Hirsch.