Ted's BV archive: Roxy & Stud-Bucket

Another chapter for Ted's Blind Vice Archive - this time Roxy Couture and Stud-Bucket LeBeouf.  Link to Ted's post here.

It's time to introduce our first couple into the Blind Vice Archive. So why not start with one of our steamier pairs, Stud-Bucket LeBeouf and Roxy Couture. While they seem perfectly domesticated and glamorous from the outside, this duo is not without their share of relationship woes.
Here is their marital tale:
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The Perps: Stud-Bucket LeBeouf & Roxy Couture
Primary Vice: Stud is a serial cheater
Blind Bio: While it would appear Stud-Bucket's wandering...you know...is the problem, it doesn't go unnoticed. Roxy knows while Stud's away he will play and is choosing to ignore said infidelity as long as he doesn't bring the trash home, physically or emotionally. Unfortunately, the confidentiality agreements he has the other women sign isn't keeping his skanky stuff too much of a secret anymore.

We believe they are Victoria and David Beckham.

Here are our posts on the previous RC and SBLB BVs:
Oct 2008 including a full list of who has been eliminated as SBLF
Feb 2010 including a full list of who has been eliminated as RC
and the latest from Oct 2010.

Blind Vice: Roxy's Not That Innocent!

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Roxy's Not That Innocent!

Remember Roxy Couture? The babe who had all of Hollywood laughing behind her back while that gorgeous hubby of hers, Stud-Bucket LeBeouf, screwed stripper after cocktail waitress? Couture's friends—and everyone in the biz—was whispering about "poor Roxy." How could she be so clueless?

Well, turns out, it was all of us she was pulling a fast one on:

No, Rox didn't have herself a hunky actor side dish. She's far too busy keeping her adorable kids and perfect home in order. Gotta make sure the media thinks life is great great great!

Turns out, actually, that R.C. knows all about her husband's not-so-indiscrete indiscretions.

With the steely nerve that made her a household name in the first place, Rox has put in place an "out of sight, out of mind" rule. She doesn't want to know what Stud is up to as long as it's just sex and not emotional—as if LeBeouf would let himself go that far.
He's got the perfect situation! He really does love his wife. So what's the harm in a little sex on the side when he's apart from the Missus—which is a lot?
At least that's what he's been telling his bros while out at a party recently, bragging to his buddies about the hot girls he's banged recently and what a cool wife he has.
What's the harm since he has those iron-clad confidentiality agreements, right?
Wrong. Stud and Roxy's kids are starting to catch wind of their situation, which means it's time for major damage control.
So is SBL ready to act his age and settle down? The next chapter in this dangerous (in many ways) Hollywood tale remains to be seen.

And it Ain't: David Arquette & Courteney Cox, Tony Parker & Eva Longoria, Matt Damon & Luciana Barroso

Top suspects: Victoria Beckham & David Beckham

Links to our discussions of the previous Roxy Couture and Stud-Bucket LeBeouf BVs are here:
Oct 2008 including a full list of who has been eliminated as SBLB
Feb 2010 including a full list of who has been eliminated as RC

Blind Vice: Naive Housewife Gets Played!

New from Ted!

Blind Vice: Naive Housewife Gets Played!

Oh, Roxy Couture! Don't you know a cheating, horny, impossibly sexy tiger can't change its stripes?
Sorry all, how rude of us not to properly introduce you to today's BV first! Meet Roxy—a gorg gal who likes everything in life to be of the highest and utmost class. Mainly when it comes to men.
Perky yet shy, vampy yet motherly, Roxy appears as if she's got the perfect life: cute kids, successful career, A-list friends, and the most hunky husband, to boot.
Only problem is, that hubby o' hers has eyes for everyone but her. Don't you remember? As you've already met him. Remember... Stud-Bucket LeBeouf? The insanely doable womanizer who likes to whip out confidentiality agreements whenever he steps out on that pixie-perfect wife of his?
Sure, that's pretty standard in this sleazy town, but remember...Stud literally carries around these typed babies everywhere he goes. Yes—LeBeouf gets that much action on the side.
We were always unsure whether or not Rox knew what her man was up to whenever he left her (and the kids) at home. We assumed she just turned a blind eye, like so many of these H'wood women do, but as of late, friends to both Roxy and Stud who know about S-B.L.'s extracurricular activities cannot stop talking about "poor" Ms. Couture because she truly is that clueless!
See, R.C. has been recently offering up advice to select members of the Cheated-On Wives Club in Hollywood. She furrows her plucked brow and likes to sit down for a heart-to-heart about exactly what to do when husbands go looking for those much sluttier, younger girls.
And the advice isn't to call your lawyer, in case you're wondering, it's to stay put and stick it out. Roxy uses her husband as an example of reformed redemption, which is preposterous, as the dog's still stepping out on Roxy left and right, unbeknownst to her.
All these babes who Roxy's preaching to want so badly to tell her to look at her own sham-filled marriage, but they can't. No one has enough guts to shatter Couture's whole world! Because, trust, if she knew the kinds of moves Stud-Bucket was putting on all of L.A. (and beyond), she would surely die of humiliation.
Ah, love really is blind, eh? Or demented, take your pick.
But Happy Valentine's Day, anyway, everybody!

And it Ain't: Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Felicity Huffman

Our link to previous SBLB BV from October '08 including a full list of men eliminated is here.  Also, here is a link to the most recent RC BV from October 2010.



* Update 10/19/10 -
Ted has eliminated Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Felicity Huffman, Kelly Ripa, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kimora Lee Simmons, Sandra Bullock, Eva Longoria Parker, Luciana Barroso, Courteney Cox.
Women eliminated as Roxy by way of NOT being SBLB's wife (see his eliminations): Vanessa Bryant, Gwen Stefani, Heidi Klum, Jennifer Garner, Demi Moore, Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez


Top suspects:
Stud-Bucket LeBeouf = David Beckham
Roxy Couture = Victoria Beckham

One Fine-Print Prick Blind Vice

New BV from Awful Truth today...

Friday Fun! One Fine-Print Prick Blind Vice

Chalk another one up for the hets! When Stud-Bucket LeBeouf (no relation to the errant driving one) gets a woody for somebody other than his wife, he gets it in writing—always. But let's back up; wouldn't want to shoot our Blind Vice wad too soon, ya know!
Oh, and also: Look, for those of you out there who so (naively) think these jokers in H'town don't hook up with their attorneys looking over their erections at the same time, hey, you got another think comin', babes.
So, back to Stud:
Guess not everyone in H'wood is gay, but many in this town are pretty damn slimy. Mr. LeBeouf, for example. He's a megastar, by all standards, no doubt about that. S-B is mediocre-talented at his nonthespian career, but there's nothing mediocre about his looks—I mean, if I weren't married, I'd drool over him with the rest of the starry-eyed lot, fer sure; the dude's totally doable. He's got the bod, the hair, the style and the equipment down below, to boot (something I swear every one of my chick friends tells me they care more about than do gay men, and sisters, that is so saying a lot).
S-B.L.'s equally famous wife is just the topping to his sweet-ass life. He's pretty much the dude every guy wants to be and every gal wants to nail. Howev, lucky enough for the femmes, this is damn feasible. S2 has no problem stepping out on his honey and fam. He's just careful as hell when he does it: "He makes you sign one gnarly confidentiality contract beforehand," dished a recent and fresh Stud screw. "He uses them as customary procedure whenever he cheats," oozed the female, and this is quite often, trust.
Want details? Which kind? The inky ones first: Yes, we're literally talking a typed-up and ready-to-go piece of paper Stud-Bucket carries around with him, ya know, just in case. Like a condom! What, is this the newer safer sex? And there are no exceptions. Ever. Every lady Mr. L. has is required to sign on the dotted line before she's allowed between the sheets, which brings us directly to the second set of details. "Nothing kinky," blabbed our first-genital source, "but very nice ride"; most excellent tools, she added. Jeez, we're pretty surprised S-B.L. hasn't gotten caught by his wife-unit more often; we hear she's dumb in more ways than one.
And it ain't: Kobe Bryant, Gavin Rossdale, Seal

* Update 10/19/10-
Ted has eliminated Kobe Bryant, Gavin Rossdale, Seal, Tony Parker, Ben Affleck, Ashton Kutcher, Antonio Banderas, Keith Urban, Ryan Seacrest, Nigel Barker, Javier Bardem, Gael Garcia Bernal, Marc Anthony, anyone of Hispanic heritage, Jesse James, David Boreanaz, David Arquette, Matt Damon.
Men eliminated by way of NOT being Roxy Couture's spouse - Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, William H. Macy, Mark Consuelos, Kobe Bryant, Matthew Broderick.

*** Our top guess: David Beckham ***

Here is the link to the SBLB BV from February 2010, which includes a list of who has been eliminated as his wife, Roxy Couture.  And here is a link to the most recent Roxy Couture BV.