Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Vintage BV: Rusty Busty

Happy Holidays from Blind Items Exposed!  In celebration, here is an oldie from Ted Casablanca and the Awful Truth team.

One Homo Helping Blind Vice - February 1, 2007

Moi, I can hear Defamer now: Casablanca, more gray, less humpy, shocks readers, runs thinly veiled homosexual Blind Vice. Or something of that deadpan ilk they ooze so well over there. Yeah, well, get used it, is all I have to say. 'Cause, yes, yet another H-town fairy is preferring to have his fancy day-spa activities end with a palm-on-privates finale! And that palm to which I refer, natch, belongs to a handsome masseur, and the genitalia are attached to one...Rusty Busty—general nice dude and award-winning actor—about whom fans know very, very little (and, trust, Rust loves it that way). Now, isn't it interesting: Over at the superluxe Turkish Pavilion spa, where it's like a posh living room set around a series of pools, steam baths and treatment rooms, employees are expressly forbidden from venturing down into clients' nether regions. In fact, they're friggin' fired for it—if they get caught. (Granted, if the opposite occurs, as it has, certainly more than once with an Academy Award-winning actor, the client is forbidden from coming back, as it were, ever again.) So, ain't it veddy interesting that more than one male-kneading type is willing to risk his vocation on the chance to finesse all round Rusty's impressive...frame, as it were. Jeez, Rusty, is that the reason you're consistently unmarried? (Hey, at least you're not busy telling us media folk ya just haven't met the right babe, and for that, I'm terribly grateful.)
And it ain't:  Brandon Routh, Sean Hayes, Wentworth Miller

Also eliminated - Jeremy Piven

Top suspects were - Adrian Grenier, Matthew Perry, Adrian Brody, George Clooney, Chris Noth

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Bonus Blind: Threesomes Finish Off Her Relationship

Excuse the delay - this was new from Ted on Tues 12/21 -

Bonus Blind: Threesomes Finish Off Her Relationship

Poor Sheila Yabos, she has such a talent, yet she just can't seem to find happiness in bed! How very distraught we are to hear this. Because if a girl can't use a good ménage à trois (or 12) to help keep her love life together, what can she do?
Maybe try that multiple-partner thing with a guy instead of with another girl?
Nope. Didn't work, either.
Which is weird, because Sheila loves girls—in every way! See, the real problemo here is that both Sheila (whose knockers are as fierce as her professional reputation) and her man ultimately both prefer same-sex lovin' when it comes to getting down.
It's just that neither partner has really faced up to this fact—and with each other—until recently. And while every rag in town is hell-bent on trying to find out who, exactly, was the other person who busted up her Hollywood domestic life, it really wasn't one person at all.
This is simply a very beautiful couple who tried to make it work, but, ultimately, discovered they were just wired differently—particularly in bed.
Shame, too. Because Sheila has no intention of disclosing to the public the fact that she sometimes prefers girls. So, get ready for a whole host of new man-beards to be trotted out. In fact, it's already beginning.
Sheesh, doesn't Hollywood know bearding is so not worth the pain it ends up causing?
No. This town never learns.
And It Ain't: Blake Lively, Jennifer Carpenter, Sandra Bullock

Upate 1/5/11 - Ted has eliminated Blake Lively, Jennifer Carpenter, Sandra Bullock, Kate Winslet, Rachel Weisz.

Clue: March 2011 Ted says Sheila has kids.

Current top suspects: Christina Aguilera, Halle Berry

Monday, December 20, 2010

Bonus Blind! Me-Me Holds Huge Celeb Captive (In Bed)

New from Ted today -

Bonus Blind!  Me-Me Holds Huge Celeb Captive (In Bed)

Party In The U.S.A.Praise the lord for Me-Me Dallas!!! She is hands-down one of our favorite Vicers in history.
Just because Tobey Yum-Yum isn't frequenting Ms. Dallas' trailer too much anymore does not mean she's passing time on sets solo.
Oh hell no.
We just got word that Me-Me was caught (or rather, overheard) sexing up a major superstar recently…
Let's call him Wilby Whiskers.
Me-Me and Wil are acquaintances. They aren't super tight, but have tons of mutual friends and cross paths professionally.
Now, we had no idea just how close these two were until recently.
My World 2.0Yep, you guessed it! You can add "hump-buddies" to each star's versatile resume.
We all know Me-Me gives special private tours (for two) of her trailer on set, and it seems that Wilby Whiskers extends the same courtesy!
While working together a little while back, people heard very loud, moaning rumblings coming from W.W.'s trailer. Everyone knew Ms. Dallas was in there with him so the following scenario managed to still shock a few people:
"He came out, all disheveled, fixing his pants and shirt," an eyewitness tells us. "Everyone knew what had just happened, but we were all stunned."
"He actually came out of his bedroom compartment and deposited his used condom in a trash can—in front of folks."
Me-Me made her not-so-stealth exit moments later.
Damn dude, nervy, not to mention tacky as hell!
This is so wrong, yet so right.
Me-Me, you should really thank us. Not because we're hiding your sexcapades (don't think you shock too many people anymore) but because we won't reveal that you bedded W.W.
Seriously, his worshipers would murder you.
And it Ain't: Nikki Reed & Robert Pattinson, Julia Stiles & Michael C. Hall, Selena Gomez & Cory Monteith

Please see our label below for the two previous Me-Me Dallas BVs including a full list of who has been eliminated.
Top suspect: Miley Cyrus

For Wilby Whiskers:
As of Dec 23 - Ted has also eliminated Bret Michaels.
Top suspect: Justin Bieber

* Update 2/10/11 - Ted has strongly hunted/semi-revealed this to be about Miley and Justin:
"Dear Ted:
Miley Cyrus was at Justin Bieber's premiere. How good of friends are these kids? Any dish you can give about B.V.s they might have? Love reading the Vices!
—Polar Bear in Texas

Dear Cold in Texas:
You're actually quite warm, po-bear! In order you asked: Very. No, but their trailers would like to say a few words here. Thank you!"

Just as we thought!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Blind Vice: Be Careful Whose Husband You Sleep With!

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Be Careful Whose Husband You Sleep With!

Welcome back, Veronica Bee-Stings!
As we told you a few weeks ago when we introduced you to the surgically blessed Hollywood star, we assumed you all would be meeting Veronica under different circumstances. See, her sweet and sexy exterior makes A-list actresses hold on tight to their men when in the presence of Ms. B-S, and for good reason!
And V finally got caught putting her stinger where it didn't belong...
The TownSee, we've heard naughty rumblings from several of VBS' past sets.
You know, whispers of some lingering touches with this lead actor, or a lot of private time running lines with that lead actor.
Usually, it's no biggie because everyone sleeps with everyone in this town. Especially costars.
But there is one teeny, tiny problemo with one of Veronica's past conquests. You know, the fact that said stud is hitched.
The affair isn't going on as we type, but the two were certainly getting hot and heavy back during filming (we had our suspicions and only recently were they confirmed).
The poor sucker's wife found out about it and threw a s--t fit, not only on the home and work fronts (she showed up on the set), but more importantly on the Hollywood front. That's right, the wife is telling people who are telling people about what a "slut" Veronica is, in hopes of damaging the star's shiny reputation, and ultimately, Veronica's hugely promising career.
But don't count V out yet. We call her Bee-Stings for a reason, ya know? This is one very crafty broad. So while she may be cozying up to hot costars in real life, she knows how to work the behind-the-scenes folks, too.
Let's just say, we don't think the term "casting couch" is something Veronica is opposed to.
Oh, and FYI, we read the comments and know how this sounds, so let us say this right up front:
We are not talking about Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.

And it Ain't: Kristen Stewart, Rooney Mara, Sofia Vergara

Top suspect: Blake Lively and Ben Affleck

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Lainey - About that breakup

New riddle from Lainey today -

About that breakup

Dexter: The Third SeasonI mentioned yesterday that there are a few more details about one of the recent splits announced in Hollywood this week. Turns out there was someone else: his love interest this season on his tv show. Their chemistry was so crazy and so evident to everyone that writer and producers, seeing it play out on set, actually cranked up their sex scenes to capture it for show. Her career has seen a resurgence since.

Eventually the two fell in love. They were together, very close, at a Halloween party in New York this fall hosted by a famously controversial writer (this isn’t a super important detail) and those who observed them that night are not surprised now that he’s ended it with his wife.

Michael C. Hall anyone?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Michael C. Hall BV?

Dexter: The First SeasonOK, we've known since 9/14/09 that Michael C. Hall has been an Awful Truth Blind Vice.  Now news of his divorce has broken and I think we need a separate post to discuss which BV could be his.  A few readers have been asking for this for a while now anyway.  I posted various comments from Ted about MCH's BV under the "list" posts if anyone needs clues - will try and post them under this thread too.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

Blind Vice: Butter's Threat: "I Will Cut You, Bitch!"

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Butter's Threat: "I Will Cut You, Bitch!"

Before you start feeling too sorry for poor, mixed-up, closeted celeb Butter Pussy and how the babe's scared coming out will affect her and her loved ones' incomes, listen up. Butter's hardly a saint.
The Oprah Winfrey Show: 20th Anniversary CollectionFar from it.
Sometime ago, Ms. Pussy, who's really fabulous at her very celebrated career, came home from a hard day's work and her man happened to be home. But he wasn't alone:
Butter found the partner she genuinely cared for—but whom she also conveniently used (a lot) to help sell her fake heterosexuality to the gullible public—in bed. With company. And it wasn't another chick, either!
Butter's man was in bed of Ms. Pussy's employee's. How awful! How humiliating! How déclassé!
So, Butter-babe did what any megastar worth her very butch reputation would do: She got a knife and threatened to "cut" the philandering partner. And guess what?
She did! Badly. So much so, the sliced-up dude had to be taken to the hospital—and his recovery took some time.
Now, to make up for things, the cheating dude who got knifed by the always well-coiffed and formidable Butter Pussy gets regular paychecks, per their postknifing financial arrangement.
And some folks think the guy's sticking around (and getting to enjoy the fancy life), just to help Butter parlay that straight-chick image.
Well, maybe a little—and maybe a little because both players here do still care for each other. But trust, those aren't the emotional ties than bind them.
It's blood. Literally.
AND IT AIN'T: Jada Pinkett-Smith, Dolly Parton, Diane Lane

See our label below for our post on the previous Butter Pussy BV from December 2009 including a full list of who has been eliminated, and the most recent also.

Top suspect: Oprah Winfrey

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Blind Vice: TV Star Does Blow in Pepperoni Joint

New from Ted today-

Blind Vice: TV Star Does Blow in Pepperoni Joint

If anyone's been wondering why the very funny Coco Crack-Head, who used to have a most natural figure, has recently become bone-thin, we have a pretty good clue as to why:
The bitch is doing blow in public and not even being cool about it! Like, at all.
Coco, who genuinely does have a kind of goofy talent on her popular prime-time show, was recently out to dinner with her sister and friends. Over at Oak Fire Pizza in West Hollywood. Everybody was having pizza and beer, but, not our Coco—she was guzzling a martini and generally making a fool of herself while gushing nonsense about her "beautiful" sister.
Fellow diners thought the poor babe was just drunk until one of them followed Coco to the restroom.
The nosy pizza-eater waited her turn for Coco to come out of the stall, then went into the one Ms. Crack-Head had just exited.
Guess what Coco had left all over the toilet-paper dispenser? And, no, it wasn't remains of her dinner, which she'd just brought back up (though that's not a bad guess).
Coco had actually left behind the remnants of all the coke she'd just chopped up and snorted! For any one to see!
Jeez, is it so much trouble to take a little toilet paper and wipe it up, babe? Or were you just too high to notice?
We suspect Ms. Crack-Head wants people to know what a druggie she really is, because—much to her sister's dismay—Coco was showing her table mates (and those nearby) pictures of lines of coke on her I-phone, daring folks to guess what it was. Hmm...drug addicts amuse themselves so well, huh?
Jeez, how long is before Coco realizes she just becoming another Lindsay Lohan, already? Or is that what she wants, just for the notoriety?
And, for the record, Coco, nobody believes that accident you had awhile back was for the reason you stated. Guess we know now what caused it!
And It Ain't: Selena Gomez, Chelsea Handler, Yvonne Strahovski

Update 6/22/12 - Ted has eliminated Selena Gomez, Chelsea Handler, Yvonne Strahovski, Mischa Barton, Jenna Fischer, Amy Poehler, any SNL staple, Whitney Houston, Bijou Phillips, Sarah Hyland, Naya Rivera, Heather Morris, Demi Lovato

Top suspects: January Jones OR AnnaLynne McCord (see comments)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Blind Vice: Hollywood Hunk Wants to Go Gay!

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Hollywood Hunk Wants to Go Gay!

Newbie Vice dude, Brock Rock-Buns, is somewhat of an Awful Truth fixture.
His perfectly chiseled bod, impressive hair, and swoon-worthy smile make many of us lust after him, that's for sure.
Brock hit the big time, thanks to his part in a mega successful franchise, and while he has a little Nevis Devine in him (you know, has dabbled with men before but prefers gals), he's approached those working on his current film to...make his character a little gayer!
Kellan Lutz Signed Eclipse 8x10 #1A source on said project dishes to us that Brock wants "more homoerotic scenes" with his character in the upcoming flick. And we are assured this was not said in a joking matter.
Rock-Buns is aware that he's got a gay and straight fan club, and just wants to give the people equally what they want!
Too funny.
BRB has definitely teased many of us all sweaty and shirtless before (on and off screen), but is ready to take it to the next mano-a-mano level.
Now, we don't think that means we will be seeing Brock's character get it on with a guy onscreen (that makes zero sense with his storyline), but Buns has pull, so something naughty is bound to happen.
Wonder how Brock's No. 1 gal pal feels about it all?
Hell, she gets to sleep with him on the regular, we really doubt she cares that much.
And It Ain't: Ian Somerhalder, Zach Galifianakis, Tom Hardy

Top suspect -Kellan Lutz

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Vintage BV: Naughty Nina

And, since we didn't do one last weekend.  A second vintage BV for this weekend.  This one not solved.  Enjoy!

One Cheap-Ass Blind Vice: April 21, 2005

I'm as shallow as the next Tinseltown jerk. I like my faves, particularly Naughty Nina. So, I'm keeping her rep sorta clean here. But, hell, this bitch blows the dudes in the restrooms of only the globe's chicer establishments. I mean, like Neen would evah be caught fellating today's hottest rockers and celebs in the men's rooms of, say, an In-N-Out, or somethin'. Damn straight. Regardless, gotta take a breather here on the heavy-breathing Vices--this one's all about the green. Nina, whose friends are far more rich than she is (actually, that's one of the bigger scams going round town right now), is developing quite the rep for her miserly clubgoing ways. And what could be more offensive (to some) than hauling out your manicured privates or feeling up your boy-dates in public? Not leaving a tip for the waitstaff, that's what. Zilch. Nada. Not even a 'Thanks, I'll getcha next time!' She does this without fail. I swear, this shortsighted chintziness is going to do in N2 faster than her prophylactic-free playtime!
And it ain't: Nicky Hilton, Nicole Richie, Kimberly Stewart

Also eliminated: Lindsay Lohan, Eva Longoria, Tara Reid

Top suspect:  ? (was Paris Hilton but she is suspected to be Slurpa Pop-Off)

Vintage BV: Dingle Tingle

Here is another vintage Blind Vice dug up from a few years back...

One Tuchis-Time Blind Vice - March 31, 2006

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE 24x36 COLOR POSTER PRINTTake a good, long soak in the tub. Then gear up them gams. Lick those lips, and prepare for the kind of fun traditionally reserved for WeHo types like myself. Oh, darlings, it's just so exciting when you straight honeys take a tip from the fagolas--especially when said cue is...carnal. Now, Wilmer Valderrama may have a self-proclaimed big unit (or not, I'm going to ask Mandy Moore the next time I bump into her). But never mind size. After all, today's broad-shouldered bohunk, Dingle Tingle, isn't exactly hugely endowed. "Average" is the word gals use to describe him to me. Babes who have slept with Dingle, mind you, not seen him baking nude by the pool or somethin'. But good news. None of his mattress mates care a whit. In fact, according to one gorgeous sweetie in par-tick (a gal who's still reeling after her romp in the sack with D.T.), nobody does it better than the Dingle dude. His secret, you ask? Let's just say that while most of Ding's dumbo hetero partners in bedroom piracy are concentrating on a woman's more traditional erogenous zones, Ding thinks more outside the box: Yes, that's right. Mostly, myopic men gun, cumbersomely, for the front door. Not our Ding, he rings in slowly, oh so seductively--and with the cunning of a ferret out only to please--for the rear. And Mr. T. is very, very good at his unique amor-angling. So excelente, as a matter of fact, that the babes who share their lovemaking sessions with him are so dazzled, they tell their gal-pals, who tell their gal-pals, who... And you know what? Dingle T. has time for all of 'em, it seems. Jeez. Ya think Missus Dingle Tingle knows what's up, or down, as it were? Or is she too gaga gone between the sheets herself to notice? Sure hope it's the latter.
And it ain't: Patrick Dempsey, Will Smith, Ashton Kutcher

Also eliminated: George Clooney, Jeremy Piven, Kevin Federline, Orlando Bloom

Top suspect was: Johnny Knoxville

Friday, December 3, 2010

Blind Vice Archive: Jackie Bouffant

Ted and the Awful Truth team have compiled a new chapter of their BV archive - the Jackie Bouffant archive.  Here is the summary for it:

Charlie St. CloudJackie Bouffant certainly keeps us guessing. This young-ish star has girls (and guys) everywhere drooling over him, with talent to back up his amazing smile.
But perhaps his best acting work to date is hiding his past: Before he hooked up with his very famous significant other, Jackie was more into guys than chicks. And he's working very hard at possibly kicking his gay habit:
The Perp: Jackie Bouffant
Primary Vice: Closeted celeb
Blind Bio: Idolized guy who has been involved with men and women. He had a semi-serious boyfriend, Frank Dangerfield (a practically out Z-List actor) but once Jackie's star power rose, he ditched the dude for a famous and gorg girlfriend. Now we've learned dabbling in drugs isn't the only (other) secret Jackie has been hiding. He's now stepping out on his beard, and you'll never guess who with.

It has been timeline-proven that Jackie Bouffant is Zac Efron.  See our other labels for our other posts and more discussion!

Blind Vice: Gay Jackie Sluts It Up With Lady Strippers!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Gay Jackie Sluts It Up With Lady Strippers!

It really is the new gay to go to sleazy strip clubs, didn't you know? First, Toothy Tile got into it pretty brazenly. Now Jackie Bouffant—the younger, fresher perkier version of closeted matinee idol Toothy—is pulling that greasy stuff!
And how.
Zac Efron 2011 CalendarJackie, who's so pretty he might be mistaken for one of the gorgeous-eyed babes in these joints, is becoming quite the fan of the pole-dancing set. But...he's taking it one heterosexual step further by...
Sleeping with women he meets there (as well as other places) on the side. On the side of his beard, that is!
Well, on the one hand, we totally get it.
We wouldn't want to sleep with Jackie's prissy beard, either. But, Jackie's obviously hip to the fact that he's got to get some chicks talking about how well he gets his sex on—and what better way to do it than to put his little Jackie-tool to work!
For the record, just got to say something here.
Think we have a little Nevis Devine action goin' on, sweethearts. Now that Jackie—who still lives to get his boy-action on—has finally tasted the female side of (fabulous) sex, he's decided he may not be so averse to it, after all.
Interesting move, my man. Hey, get the best of both worlds, right? I mean, sounds like you enjoy it enough.
Totally unlike Toothy, trust.
And It Ain't: Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Matthew Morrison

Top suspect: Zac Efron (proven by a timeline of when Ted said he was not a BV and then confirmed as one - see comments under other posts.)

Links to the previous Jackie Bouffant BVs:  August 2009 including a full list of who has been eliminated; and May 2010.

Blind Vice: Superstar Has a Golden Rule - In Bed!

This was new from Ted yesterday, Dec 2 -

Blind Vice: Superstar Has a Golden Rule - In Bed!

Open wide, because this vice is a wet one!
Fernando Tinkle-Treat is a face you've been seeing around a lot lately (and it's a pretty gorgeous one at that). He's been hitting the media circuit, big-time, peddling his recent project where he also happens to be peddling his family-man shtick, too. They sorta go hand in hand.
But, as Hollywood tales go, there's something Fernando's not telling everybody.
Hint: Super Duper-Cooper totally approves...
Not only is Fernando stepping out on his babe, but he's getting his super-massive kinky wet on when he does it!
Yep, we are talking about golden showers, people.
We hear from a source that was more than willing to um, go there, with Fernando that Mr. F really gets his little tinkle-treat going when he urinates on whomever he is bedding at said time.
And it's pee or bust.
No bladder bedroom session, no bone session. Kapesh? After all, if Tinkle is risking stepping out on the ball and chain, it's gotta be worth it.
What is it with famous folks like F.T.T and Super Duper-Cooper? We think these civilians (and celebs, mainly in Super's sheets ‘tho) just desperately want one night with them that they are willing to forgo bedroom etiquette.
Team Truth has never felt more prudish in our lives!
Let's just say there is a time and a place to poop or pee, and that's in a toilet. Or an outside venue if popping a squat is way necessary.
And It Ain't: Will Smith, Johnny Depp, Justin Bieber
Update Dec 23 - Ted has also eliminated Enrique Iglesias, Josh Duhamel, Harrison Ford

Top suspect: ?

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

BV Superstar Gallery Update

Ted has updated his Blind Vice Superstar Gallery.  Three new celebs added to the bunch.  Now we have Tony Parker, Jennifer Lopez, and Elizabeth Banks to add to the list. 

Here is an excerpt:

Please welcome, Jennifer Lopez, Tony Parker and Elizabeth Banks.
Since Eva Longoria was inducted last round, we thought it was only fair to put her soon-to-be ex-hubby in there also. Sometimes it takes two to vice.
As for Liz Banks, her Vice ain't nothing new in Hollywood (and certainly wouldn't make you think that differently of her), but she seems to be a fan favorite. As for Lopez, that one might be slightly more stunning. A lot more stunning, actually.

We are pretty sure we have the correct BV correlating with each.  Check our labels!