Friday, December 3, 2010

Blind Vice Archive: Jackie Bouffant

Ted and the Awful Truth team have compiled a new chapter of their BV archive - the Jackie Bouffant archive.  Here is the summary for it:

Charlie St. CloudJackie Bouffant certainly keeps us guessing. This young-ish star has girls (and guys) everywhere drooling over him, with talent to back up his amazing smile.
But perhaps his best acting work to date is hiding his past: Before he hooked up with his very famous significant other, Jackie was more into guys than chicks. And he's working very hard at possibly kicking his gay habit:
The Perp: Jackie Bouffant
Primary Vice: Closeted celeb
Blind Bio: Idolized guy who has been involved with men and women. He had a semi-serious boyfriend, Frank Dangerfield (a practically out Z-List actor) but once Jackie's star power rose, he ditched the dude for a famous and gorg girlfriend. Now we've learned dabbling in drugs isn't the only (other) secret Jackie has been hiding. He's now stepping out on his beard, and you'll never guess who with.

It has been timeline-proven that Jackie Bouffant is Zac Efron.  See our other labels for our other posts and more discussion!


Einstein DeGeneres said...

OT - did you see in Ted's column today he said Austin Nichols doesn't have kids. Which would mean that Toothy can't be Jake if Jake and Austin are a couple, because Toothy and Goose have a kid.

I totally heart Sophia Bush and Austin Nichols for their do-gooder ways. They are excellent role models for my kids. Does Austin have any kids of his own? Love ya lots.

Dear Hero Havic:
Nope—why would you think that? But kudos again to Soph and Austin. While I may think they're über-boring in the bedroom department, they both are way into helping gulf efforts. And, ya know, talking about it every chance they get.

Read more:

Anonymous said...

I think that Ted is trying to throw us off because Suz said "of his own". Toothy & GG adopted so maybe he doesn't consider this Austin's own kid.

Unknown said...

I was thinking that too. A yes answer would have been too explosive. I think the `of his own` is key.

Anonymous said...

Ted had to do that because saying, "Yes" would have confirmed it. Plus, he is not known to have a child, so people would be thinking...what? So he found a loophole in Suz's question, used it and in the process threw some people off; both of which are great for Ted! "Of his own", he and Toothy (Jake) adopted.

Einstein DeGeneres said...

ohhhhhh. thanks y'all~

Meri said...

So who is Frank Dangerfield, then? Thoughts?

Anonymous said...

I have no idea where I heard this, but I definitely remember hearing rumors of Zac and Sterling Knight, his costar in 17 Again. They went to that gay strip club together, and Knight's heavily rumored to be gay.

Other than that movie, Knight is in the horrible Disney show "Sonny with a Chance" with Demi Lovato, hence the Z-list. I doubt Disney thought either guy would hit it big, which also fits with the first blind about JB/FD.

Unknown said...

FD is either Matt Prokop or Sterling Knight

Caz1310 said...

Max, I had to google both those guys to find out who they were LOL! I'm going with Matt for Frank Dangerfield because of the HSM connection. He also has a girlfriend? Golly this secret life stuff is doing my head in - is everyone doing it?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Do Lucretia Johnson and Jackie Bouffant know each other?

Dear Snooping:
Sure, but not like that."

Unknown said...

Hey, ding dong the beard is dead! Should be interesting to see what he does now.

Unknown said...

Zac Efron is the popular guess for Rock Jock from Gossip Boy too.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I am a mother of 3 kids that are 3 and under. The only thing that keeps me sane is reading your column. Please answer this for me. Do Jackie Bouffant and Brock Rock Buns hang out (intimately or not)? Also, do you assign BV's to people or people's names? (for instance if someone were to change their name would you give them a new BV?)

Dear Nice Try:
If by hang out, you mean hook up, then that's a no. And no."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Are Jackie Bouffant and Will Whiskers the same person?

Dear Trickery:
Certainly not!"

blurry vice said...

To Nickname Unavailable -
Please discuss Austin Nichols under the posts related to him. Furthermore, Baby Tile is a Blind Vice and is kept secret. REgardless if Austin is Grey Goose or not, of course TEd would answer no to that question. If he answered yes, he would be outing him. And outing his BV, and Baby Tile.

blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Jackie Bouffant still doing drugs? I'm noticing some coke bloat.
—Fairy dust

Dear Cocky:
Assuming you're right on your guess (which I don't think you are 'cause Jackie looks good to me), I would say he dabbles here and there occasionally."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Lucretia Johnson the lovesick Vanessa Hudgens?

Dear Slightly Out of Tune:
Not a bad guess at all, but definitely not Miss V. And give ‘Nessa a little more credit! She may want

Zac Efron back like whoa, but she's a hot babe who would hardly have a difficult time moving on in

this town. But she'll most likely get what she wants, and that's Efron running back."

"Dear Ted:
I hate Zac Efron with Vanessa Hudgens. I was so glad to hear they broke up. Any chance Zac will get

with his new costar? I would love that.

Dear Single Not Mingle:
Well, pals insist he was nothing more than costars with Taylor Schilling. I agree. I think Zac is too

young and sexy to be tied down. He's also very impressionable to those who are guiding him—this

includes possessive and bossy Hudgens. Boyfriend needs to slut it up! Same goes for Vanessa, really.

If these two settle down too early there's nothin' but trouble ahead. And unfortunately, that's how

it's looking. Let's not all gag at once, or shall we?"

Kristen said...

In today's Bitch Back, Ted makes it clear that he's not a fan of Jackie's singing. LOL. I'm not a big fan of Zac or anything, but I always thought he sounded nice.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Jackie Bouffant single? And can he sing?

Dear Mingling or Not:
Debatable. While most of us wish he was, he likes to play the field hot and cold. Lucky for that frequent female of his! As for his vocals, they aren't to die for."

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Zac Efron seems like a nice kid. Has he ever been a Blind Vice?

Dear Six-Pack Sweetheart:
But of course! There are secrets behind those yummy dimples! That's not to say Zac isn't a nice kid, though. We still heart him, Vice and all!

Dear Ted:
Has Vanessa Hudgens ever been a Blind Vice?

Dear Shirtless Scandal:
Actually, no. V may have had her fair share of drama, but it's not too Vice-worthy. She hangs with people who are.

Dear Ted:
Is Me-Me Dallas single? Also, what has Jackie Bouffant been up to lately? I haven't heard about him in a while, so I was wondering if he's been doing anything Vice-worthy.

Dear Couple:
Ah yes, two of our faves! Me-Me is single and slutty, per ususal. As is Jackie, although he's hooking up mostly with women though. Who'da thunk it? Now that I think about it, these two Vicers would totally make a hot couple. Wouldn't be surprised if they've done the nasty already, actually.

blurry vice said...

Frank Dangerfield?

"Dear Ted:
A Zac Efron/Chris Colfer friendship? Any thoughts on that?
—Norwegian Wood

Dear So Into It:
I feel like I can't wait to see Zac make an appearance on Glee with his buddy. Bet he could nab a part with those vocals of his. Plus, I sort of, maybe, like Colfer. He's got some potential in the acting arena for sure."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I got to thinking about Frank Dangerfield, former BF of Jackie Bouffant, and was wondering if they'd been seen out together lately? Also, has Frank's star

risen in the last few years? I wonder because I think I may have this one cracked.

Dear True Love:
Nope, that one was dunzo when Jackie's pretty face and smoking career went through the roof. Frank's star certainly has stayed the same, for what it's worth.

Maybe even decreased?"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Please tell me about Jackie Bouffant's film career. Is he successful or is he making flop after flop? Also, what do you think of Jessica Lowndes for the part

of Katniss Everdeen?

Dear Vices and No Dices:
Oh, he's a flopster for sure. It's too bad since he's adorable. Anyway, Lowndes is gorge, but not enough olive in that complexion of hers. Plus, I just get a

sick feeling in my stomach picturing Adrianna from 90210 trying to maneuver around this role. Whoever lands this gig is set for a challenge that's for sure."

blurry vice said...


Dear Ted:
The last time you wrote a Bitch-Back about Jackie Bouffant, you said he was lingering in the hetero world. Has he recently gone back to banging guys? If he

has, where does he find them because it seems he'd have to be very careful since he's not "out."
—Holla G

Dear Shocker:
You know what, so far I'm only hearing about the ladies. And he's keeping those females very under wraps, too."

noticebox said...

Was Jackie in a Sci-Fi series?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What's Jackie Bouffant up to these days, and is he still into both genders?
—Inquiring Mind

Dear Batting for Both:
Jackie's kept himself pretty off the radar lately—guess he got spooked when that lady of his started to make waves for herself. She's the one making more

headlines these days, though. Shame too, Jackie was always more interesting."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
A friend of mine who knows Jackie Bouffant reckons he's moving to London because he can't deal with Hollywood any more. What do you know about this? (If it's


Dear Ass-u-me:
I know your friend doesn't know Jackie very well 'cause they would know J isn't ditching T-town anytime soon. Sure, he prefers to keep his dirty deeds on the

DL—more so now than ever—but he's not stupid. He knows attention will follow him no matter what continent he's on...and there's no better place to Vice than

good-ol' Hollywood."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Wish you all the best with the not smoking. Today you said all Vicers start out small and then grow as their fame grows. Please tell me if you know how

Jackie Bouffant started and what he is doing now! My stray rescue and I hear he is (a) filming a movie in the Midwest, (b) in a hospital in Arizona, (c)

suffering from a broken heart. Please let us know. All our best.
—Blackie and Me

Dear Mutt Love:
I will say this: Jackie's the same way about his parts the way my Charlie is with a bone. Once he sets his mind on it, that's it (regardless of sex, food,

water or any other doggie in the hood)."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Where is Zac Efron? Is he in hiding? I never thought I could have withdrawal symptoms from not seeing him, but I am. I hope he's OK after the split from V-

—D from TX

Dear Zac Attack:
Couldn't agree with you more, D! Especially now that he's gone and become all muscled. Don't worry to much about Zac's post-split state of mind; I don't

think he's lying low because he has a broken heart—Zefron was never the half of that couple that loved the limelight. He'll be back on red carpets (and

hopefully in the Vice vault) soon, though."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I am a huge fan of Zac Efron's and was wondering what his relationship is like with Corbin Bleu now that Zac's practically A-list? He obviously dated Vanessa

Hudgens after HSM and is still friends with Ashley Tisdale, but what about Corbin?

Dear Bromance:
Don't worry, L, these two are still tight. Like, visit the strip clubs together tight. And isn't that the ultimate bond for two bros? Believe it or not,

Zacky isn't really the H'wood type who lets fame go to his head. He's way more laid-back than most of his High School peers."

blurry vice said...

Corbin Bleu = Frank Dangerfield?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Zac Efron doesn't have a Vice yet, does he? Or am I missing something?

Dear Um:
Hell yes he does. A really juicy one, too."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
We haven't had a Jackie Bouffant or Crescent Cumquat Vice in awhile. Is it safe to assume then that they're being good little Vicers?

Dear Down Low:
Good in the sense that they're keeping their naughty little secrets to themselves, yes. But they're definitely still up to no good, that's for sure.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Does Jackie Bouffant have an STD? If not do you think he is likely to get one?

Dear Crotch Critters:
Not unless he hops in bed with Crescent Kumquat, which isn't exactly the craziest idea ever. But as off now, as far as I'm concerned, Jack has a clean bill

of health when it comes to his sex life. Not that he's getting much these days anyway."

Dr.DuckyDuck said...

According to the bitch back today, Zac Efron now has a serious boyfriend. Did I miss this? Who is he dating? And now that he's not so in the spotlight, will he ever come out? Ugh! So many questions!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Where in the world is Zac Efron?
—V Hudge

Dear Zac Attack:
Getting his cougar on. Well, on screen. In real life, Zac's love life is far messier.

Dear Ted:
Congrats on the no smoking. What can you tell my rescue Mr. Puss and me about our favorite, Jackie Bouffant? I hear he is now a one-man man and happy, Mr

Puss says no way. A fish bet rides on this one.
—Mr. Puss

Dear Dude on the Loose:
Hope Mr. Puss enjoys his yummy treat ‘cause he's so right."

blurry vice said...

DuckyDuck - you read incorrectly. Read it again. Jackie does NOT have a serious boyfriend. It's the exact opposite.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Say I were to do a Blind Vice lineup, arranging Vicers from tallest to shortest. Out of Nelly Fang, Dashed Dingle Dream and Jackie Bouffant who would be in

the middle?

Dear Super Sleuth:
Height-wise, Dashed Dingle Dream would fall smack dab in the middle."

Ross Family Five said...

Grrr! I just left a long, drawn out comment regarding Ted's comments in today's BBs regarding Zac and Jackie. I thought it was the closest thing to an outting without actually being so. He commented that Zac is in the hottest HWood body parts contest for a body part not what would be expected...and he was featured today in the HAIR (ie BOUFFANT!) contest...I love it. I hope this time this posts!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Why the lack of Zac Efron on your Hollywood's Hottest Body Parts polls? I would say he's a contender for best abs, biceps, and rack, but especially for eyes.

On an unrelated note, if Jackie Bouffant were to come out any time soon, would he come out as gay or bisexual?

Dear Where The Ef Is Zac?:
Good point, Zac is a sexy contender for all those hot body parts, but we beg to differ on the best part of him. Rest assured, he'll be in our poll, but

you'll have to wait to see which body part we chose. As for Jackie Bouffant? Don't get your hopes up—dude won't admit to being anything but straight anytime


Dear Ted:
You wrote that January Jones' baby daddy was far more obvious than Ashton Kutcher, so can you tell me, might the real baby daddy have been on film with

Jackie Bouffant and Seymour Plow-Me-More? I mean Jackie and Seymour do know each other from at least one project, right?

Dear I'll Play:
Yes, Jackie and Seymour do know each other. But January's baby daddy hasn't really appeared on film much. You're barking up the wrong daddy tree."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Jackie Bouffant still with his famous significant other? If he has moved on, do you think he'll move on to another famous beard or stay single a while?

Dear Run Silent, Run Deep:
Very single, very chill, very beard-free right now. Jackie's hardly unaware that beards can backfire—in a big way."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Why am I hearing rumors about Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens hooking up again? Aren't they over each other?

Dear Over It:
If they aren't, I am. We got all we needed from this cutesy high school romance. I think it certainly run its celebrity course but let's see. Musical numbers

galore? Check. Naked pictures leaked? Check. Breakup? Check. Yup that about covers it. And these two are definitely dunzo with each other. Even if they start

canoodling again."