Friday, December 23, 2011

Blind Vice! Rockstar Reeks of Playboy Ways!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice!  Rockstar Reeks of Playboy Ways!

You'd think that buckets of moolah, tons of adoring fans and a hot chick at your side would be enough.

Not so for Lesley Grotto, one of those swoon-worthy rock star types with the slick moves and killer abs. See, Les has all of that (including a knockout gal most dudes would kill to canoodle with) but—surprise! surprise!—he wants more, more, more.
Especially when it comes to chicks. ‘Cause let's be honest...
Lesley is a straight up dawg!
You wouldn't know it though because when he's around his "special" lady (especially when there are cameras around) Lesley is the image of a doting boyfriend—ya know, lovey dovey kisses and all the "awwww"-inducing crapola.
But when she's out of sight, she's definitely out of mind too.
Which leaves Lesley to do what he does best: sweet talking the panties off of any (and every) chick in sight.
"He's a total d-bag," one of the pretty party gals who attended one of the many booze-soaked event that Grotto frequents bitched to us. "He's all over chicks at these parties and flirts with everyone."
Continues our blabbermouth babe: "But as soon as he's with his woman he's a whole different man, all committed and monogamous."
Sounds smarmy. Well, actually, that totally sounds like half the other dudes in Tinseltown.
Here's the real Q though: If his lady found out would be really even care? We kinda think not.
AND IT AIN'T: Jason Mraz, Kanye West, Bruno Mars

Top suspect: Adam Levine

Friday, December 16, 2011

Blind Vice: During Awards Season, the King Forgets His Queen Days

New BV from Ted today.  Schlong returns...

Blind Vice: During Awards Season, the King Forgets His Queen Days

Some dudes like Crotch Uh-Lastic and Toothy Tile, we really feel for. These are movie stars who truly do only like other guys, even though they also (just as much) want to be renowned film actors. So they play the game (well, Toothy does).
But then there's mischievous bisexual King Schlong, who can take boys—or go without them.
So, what's King's current sexual bent? And could the dog-eat-dog awards season have something to do with King's choice?
Girls, girls, girls and yes, yes, yes.

You see, truth be known, King's always fooled around with both sexes (as recently as this year, too!). But it's really not what drives King ultimately romantically—and certainly not come the career-defining months from Emmys to Oscars.
"That boy will no sooner go around boys when these awards are still out than Alec Baldwin will apologize to American Airlines," said one of King's myriad Biz colleagues, who knows full well that Schlong has long been a free spirit and doesn't want to be tied down to either sex, in any capacity.
But this maverick sensibility, we're told, is wholly heterosexually infused, at this time of the year because what King wants more than domestic happiness is...big ol' trophy-time recognition. "Like, bad," is how it was put to us.
Jeez. Kinda sounds like that old stereotype people are always applying to women only in this town, like, she slept her way to the top.
Apparently, King's desperately trying it out, too.
But will it work?
And It Ain't: Alex Pettyfer, Kellan Lutz, Alec Baldwin

Please refer to the label below for a link to our posts on the previous King Schlong BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Leo

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Blind Vice! Crafty Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher Plans For a Surprise Baby!

New from Ted Monday Dec 12 -

Blind Vice!  Crafty Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher Plans For a Surprise Baby!

You all remember Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher, right?
She was the chick who couldn't quite keep her hands to herself despite the fact that she has an oh-so-loving (and pretty damn hunky) guy at home.
Well, Car has had a change of heart. And it all has to do with her best gal-pal, Carmelita Salami-Climber.
Let's back up a bit: Remember how Carm's close friends were worried that her dude wasn't up to snuff?

Well they were right and he hit the road, leaving Carmelita to nurse her broken heart (trust us, that split is so not worth a Vice in itself).
Here's the thing: While Carol Anne lets her bestie cry on her shoulder, she's secretly scheming how to keep her own relationship together...ya know, so she doesn't end up like her forever alone amigo.
That's right: Carol Anne is getting her s--t together!
And the first plan of action? Get herself knocked up pronto.
Carol Anne has convinced herself that if she can get her man to get her preggo, everything will shape up in their sometimes rocky relaysh. As in, she'll stop parting and then they'll stop fighting.
How terribly old fashioned of her, no?!
And It Ain't: Naya Rivera, Jennifer Aniston, Blake Lively

Please refer to the label below for a link to our previous C.A.S.S. BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Khloe Kardashian-Odom

Lainey - Cash Only

New from Lainey yesterday Dec 14 -

Cash Only

SO easy.

Who was paid $15,000 in cash this week in exchange for frolicking around in her bikini on the beach? That’s a lot of cash money for you and me, true. But for them? It’s change. It’s really, really not much. In that world, it’s almost nothing. Consider that Tori Spelling supposedly charges at least 4 times that for a photo op with her kids and you get a sense of how low this piece of sh-t is scraping these days. She used to be able to throw that much away on a night out.

Oh and by the way, it had to be cash. She was super hard up for the cash. What are some of the things one might pay for in cash only?

Top suspect: Lindsay Lohan

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Blind Vice: Brucey's Juicy Double Life!

New BV from Ted on Fri Dec 9.  A newcomer! -

Blind Vice: Brucey's Juicy Double Life!

Brucey Huskers is a gorgeous star. Brucey's hot. Brucey has a super-bitchin', manly body. Brucey hangs with other equally luscious-lookin' Tinseltown (and Blind Vice star) celebrities, who he's gotten mucho intimate with.
So, why is Brucey having trouble getting some lovin' lately?

Oh, wait. That rumor that he's not getting any since his big Hollywood split turns out to be...
Just that, a rumor!
"Don't you realize that this explains everything a little bit more clearly?" said one of the dudes who hangs thisclose alongside the humpy celebrity, who's gone back to getting it on with guys (something he did before his latest sexy starlet romance), since his latest publicized romance went sour.
"Ever stop to think why these 'relationships' of his don't last," asked Brucey's equally handsome bud, rhetorically. "Only a guy who's into guys would go out with the women this guy's gone out with," bitched the Huskers hanger-on.
Now, if you're able to follow the logic here, it pretty much makes sense: Brucey hooks up with Hollywood gals who are gorgeous but who he knows he has zilcho in common with. Everyone's shocked when it doesn't work out, as both parties are almost always super hot! Leaving the public breathless and waiting for the next hetero hook-up.
So, what gives?
Just that Brucey wants to keep getting in on with the guys even though he tells even himself it's the chickers he's really wanting.
Uh, so not the case.
But, Brucey will be the last to know this.
AND IT AIN'T: Ashton Kutcher, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen
Update 12/17/11 - Ted has eliminated Ashton Kutcher, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen, Ryan Gosling, Derek Jeter

Top suspect: Kris Humphries

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Blind Vice: Why Are Gals Passing On Well Equipped Player?

New BV from Ted Friday...

Blind Vice: Why Are Gals Passing On Well Equipped Player?

Poor, poor Smokey Shooter. First, he and his gal couldn't really work out the domestic thing, then he and his honey called it quits, oh, no!
They were such a cute couple. But you'll either be really sad or really happy to hear Smokey's wasted no time in moving on from his ex lady-love. Only problem being his new love interests all seem to have the same two complaints about the good-lookin' actor with a fair amount of movie cred:

Actually, make that one and a half complaints, because some gals aren't so bothered by one of this dude's, uh, problems, as it were. Namely, that he's just too big. And we're not talkin' just the guy's ego, honeys.
Add to that sometime painful attribute the fact that Smokey has a fondness for solving his flatulence issues while in bed with his various women.
Result? Some gals pretend not to notice. Others scold Smokey with mock disbelief. Few are so upset they don't give Smokey another go. In fact, make that all.
Which is probably why Smokey's never seemed to really care about giving his women warning, once he finds himself on the verge of breaking wind.
OK, I understand why a lotta gals put up with crap like not lifting the toilet seat, but, why more babes don't give this babe grief for acting like he's in a Jim Carrey movie is beyond me.
Does size really matter that much?
And It Ain't: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Hefner, Leonardo DiCaprio

Please use the label below to see our post on the previous Smokey Shooter BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Ashton Kutcher (however he is also a suspect for another BV, see label)

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Page Six - Just Asking

From NY Post Nov 28 -

Which supposedly sober rock star was spotted at a high-end gala schmoozing the tables and surreptitiously swilling all the other guests’ wine? . . .
Which mogul was shaking with rage at his assistant when the peon took too long to run into Shake Shack to get him a burger while the boss man waited in his Town Car? . . .
Which younger brother of an infamous socialite appears in a hardcore gay sex tape that’s making the rounds in the male modeling world?

Friday, November 25, 2011

Blind Vice! Starlet Prefers Locking Lips With Ladies Over A-List Dudes

New BV from Ted today -

Blind Vice!  Starlet Prefers Locking Lips With Ladies Over A-List Dudes

Charlotte "Chuck" Finger-Dingle is young, über-gorge and has H'wood by the family jewels (metaphorically speakin', at least).
See, Chuck is still relatively fresh to the scene but she's managed to nab some of the splashiest flicks served up by the biggest studios and has certainly caught the eye of Tinseltown—and all the eligible bachelors in it too.
But all that steamy hetero chemistry Chuck has onscreen stays strictly in celluloid, ‘cause Chuck has a taste for...
The ladies, of course.
Chuck has sparked her fair share of rumored romances with T-town's hottest fellas (more than a fair share of which are also members of the Blind Vice Hall of Fame), but when it comes down to whose bed she's hopping in and out of, Charlotte prefers her lovers strictly chick.
Which isn't to say Chuck gets lonely during those long months on location.
Oh no, Chuck—with her fashionista figure and cheekbones to kill for—has plenty of ladies lustin' after her as well and makes sure to pluck only the hottest babe from the crowd to keep her, well, "entertained."
So while the tabloids plaster their covers with snapshots of Chuck and her ab-tastic male costars, the real juicy scandal is going on behind the scene where CF-D is getting hot and heavy with one lucky gal or another.
And her usual same-sex selection? Women with power—ya know, like directors or producers or any broad who's calling the shots.
How friggin' hot is that? Keep it up, Chuck, ‘cause even if you don't win an Oscar, you're certainly one of our new fave Vicers.
AND IT AIN'T: Ashley Greene, Lily Collins, Lea Michele

Eliminated as of 3/31/12: Ashley Greene, Lily Collins, Lea Michele, Amber Heard, Scarlett Johansson, Riley Keough, none of the Glee gals, Anna Kendrick, Zooey Deschanel, Jennifer Lawrence, Naya Rivera, Dakota Fanning, Mila Kunis, Jessica Chastain, Shailene Woodley, anyone from Pretty Little Liars,

Top suspect: Rooney Mara

Lainey - They're creeping everyone out

Happy Thanksgiving fellow Americans!  We are getting caught up with gossip.  Here is a new Lainey blind riddle, written by her co-blogger Sarah On November 23 -

They're creeping everyone out

This director doesn’t have a reputation for engaging in tomfoolery on his sets, and this starlet has no reputation at all, yet they’ve been raising eyebrows with their vaguely off-putting relationship, which is inching into “professionally inappropriate” territory.  Their weird fascination with one another is making some folks wonder if they could become a liability while promoting their film. She’s infatuated but he’s playing Pygmalion, a scenario that always ends messily. Someone should warn her, bless her little heart.

Top suspect: 

Saturday, November 19, 2011

IMDB Mystery Woman

I was going to make a post about this when I read the news article a few weeks ago.  Makes a mini blind item.  However, I just thought it was plain boring.  Now this week, Ted made a post about it.  So, if anyone wants to discuss this, here you go.  Here is Ted's post ... discuss away!

Help Us Crack the Code: Who's the IMDB Mystery Woman?

You know we live to dish about anything mysterious here at the A.T.
So, when we got the scoop on the IMDb mystery woman, we had to start a little guessing game of our own. 
Even though thinks they know whodunit, we think you Awful readers are the best detectives of all.
Here's what we do know:
The woman's original suit reveals she's an Asian woman, residing in Texas, who's around 40 years old.
We also know the woman claims she lost out on loads of roles after the site revealed her true age, so we're searching for a much younger-lookin' gal who's not at the top of her Tinsel Town game. Now onto the guessing...
Could it be Lucy Liu? Girl's career did peak after her role in Charlie's Angels, and she does look much younger than her real age, 43. But the gal has had a steady flow of jobs regardless of her birth date, so it seems unlikely she would resort to a lawsuit. 
Or, what about Maggie Q? For starters, she's gorgeous, and her current IMDb profile reveals she's 32 years old. Come to think of it, a pretty face like that would be devastated if the world knew she was really pushing 40. Then again, she's got a solid gig as Nikita, so maybe she is 32, after all. 
But maybe, Kelly Hu is a better guess? The one-time Miss Teen USA has been working in H'wood forever, but no doubt, she hasn't starred in a hottie role for some time. Plus, her age is listed as 43, and according to the mystery woman, that would make her, say, totally expired in Hollywood?
But if Kelly hasn't hit her expiration date, perhaps we should look at Sandra Oh? Girl's age is listed at 40 years old, but she doesn't seem the type to buy into the exhausting and sadly ridiculous (but true) H'wood ageism thing. On the other hand, maybe she's worried about a gig, post-Grey's Anatomy?
Or perhaps, this mystery woman has us all fooled and she's got just one measly 1988 movie-of-the week to her credit and she just started the whole friggin' thing for publicity?
Sound off, Awful readers, and let us know who you think the mystery woman is!

Top guess:

Friday, November 18, 2011

Blind Vice: Gay Star's Clueless Beard Walks In On a Shocker!

New BV from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Gay Star's Clueless Beard Walks In On a Shocker!

People have a right to live their lives, let's be clear about that. And that's why we do not out gay stars at AT, never have, never will.
But when matinee idols like Toothy Tile and Fey Oil-Tush choose to involve other, non-gay folks in their clandestine lives, it changes the rules.
For instance, Crescent Kumquat's latest beard was beginning to wonder why the heck the handsome star never laid a finger on her in private. Well, she just found out the reason the hard way:

When the gorgeous, tall stunner Crescent had been parading around to parties just happened to hop over to her man's place to surprise him (and she found that he was not only home, but, the place was pretty open). Only it was she who got the shock when she walked in on Crescent having sex with a dude!
And not just a little petting or oral action, either, babes, Crescent was right in the middle of getting done to him what the gorgeous, real-blonde chica had wished he would do to her!
Now, we gotta say we're starting to wonder just how much dope Crescent's doing these days, because not even outlandish sex Vice Super-stars like Toothy and Crotch Uh-Lastic take this many chances—you know, like leaving the house wide open while getting it on with a guy inside.
But then who'd have thunk the gf would come over for a surprise? Well, all the more reason to actually give these beards a little lovin' once in awhile, boys. Ya know, so they're not so damn horny!
But the discarded chica does get the last laugh, we must note. Won't be getting that nasty social disease Mr. Kumquat's known to have, whew!
Wonder if that latest blondie CC's been out with will be as lucky?
AND IT AIN'T: Tom Sturridge, Charlie Sheen, Robert Pattinson

Please refer to the label below for a link to our posts on the many previous Crescent Kumquat BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect - still Chace Crawford

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Blind Vice: Jackie Bouffant Cuts It So Close!

And this one was new from Ted on Friday Nov 11 -

Blind Vice: Jackie Bouffant Cuts It So Close! 

Jackie Bouffant, still young, still beautiful, seems to have already run the Hollywood gamut in his brief career: boys, drugs, not to mention the requisite "beard." As in a red-carpet girlfriend he loves to trot out for the paparazzi and mainstream press.
But that was so yesterday.
Today, Jackie's got some totally homo cajones on him!
Just like Toothy Tile once sported the young man he adored, it looks like Jackie's showing off his, too! Hot!
At a recent very glitzy Hollywood event, Jackie was likewise very obvious. And trust us, Jackie's not a silly, stupid boy like Parrish Maguire, who doesn't always triple-check where he hooks up.
So what happened?
There Jackie was, A-list everybody all around him, hitting the top of the press line with his new boyfriend in tow. Only Mr. B. stopped just short of walking the carpet with cutie-pie BF, who has the most adorable curly coif and darling rosy cheeks.
Jackie, instead, had his dude walk around the carpet. And then guess what the TV and movie star did, once he finished walking the press line? He picked his boyfriend up at the end! It was totally like they were pulling some kind of playground game, too cute!
Only it was hardly grade-school stuff, once the newbie couple rejoined inside the party: With all the giggling and rubbing up against each other they were doing, who needed those outdoor heat lamps?
Funny thing, whenever an in-house photog tried to get Jackie and his man, the BF split faster than Brett Ratner chomps shrimp cocktail.
Smart man, he'll be by Jackie's side for years (or months) to come, we predict.
And It Ain't: Taylor Lautner, Chace Crawford, Robert Pattinson

Please refer to the label below for a link to the our posts on the previous Jackie B BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Zac Efron

Blind Vice: Sugar-Rod O'Keefe Chooses an Anti-Gay Director... on Purpose

Just getting caught up for the entire week... bear with us!  This BV was from Tuesday Nov 8, from Awful Truth...

Blind Vice: Sugar-Rod O'Keefe Chooses an Anti-Gay Director... on Purpose

Sugar-Rod O'Keefe is nothing new in Hollywood. He's a star who makes a lot of money—and he loves spending it on hookers, both male and female. If you only knew how common this story is Tinseltown!
But something even less known than Sugar-Rod's sexual preference is how anti-gay most of O'Keefe's professional colleagues are, something Sugar not only doesn't mind but thrives on:
"He thinks it makes him less of a target for people thinking he's gay," said a longtime male hooker who's been paid by O'Keefe for years, "if he hangs out with guys who are telling homophobic jokes."
Hmmm. Guess this type of sexuality subterfuge makes guys who simply have beards for girlfriends look like down-right simpletons!
"He really does think this helps keeps the heat off him," added the guy prostitute, who added that Sugar-Rod indeed has a major thing for highly orchestrated sex, i.e., lots of "role playing."
So, guess it makes sense Mr. O'Keefe (who's been a top box-office draw at various points in his career) also likes to orchestrate his sexual politics in real life!
Which makes us wonder if those tacky gay jokes O'Keefe's director has been known to make aren't also to help get the gay-focus of his star?
You know, in a totally effed up Hollywood kind of way.
And It Ain't:  Jake Gyllenhaal, Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell

Top suspect:

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Blind Vice: Bi Guy Grabs Slutty Beard to Protect A-List Boyfriend

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Bi Guy Grabs Slutty Beard to Protect A-List Boyfriend

We knew something didn't make sense!
When the deliciously sexy (and untraditional) movie star Nevis Devine started hanging out less with his on/off boyfriend, the almost-as-handsome Barrington Bang-Me, we thought it was just the natural ebb of Nevis' libido.
He's more into girls than guys, after all.
But then we discovered the downtime between the guys was far more to do with Barrington's master plot! Oh, what a tangled web these bisexual boys can weave!
Not that long ago, Barrington hooked up with a pretty visible gal. This was right around the time people were started to wonder what the hell's going on with the two guys, anyway.
But, no more! Bare's new babe (who's been around almost as much as Nevis has, hmm...) took care of those rumors.
However—surprise, surprise—things are rotten between Barrington and the beard.
But, what really is a surprise is the fact that we just discovered: Mr. Bang-Me only took up with said honey because he didn't want to endanger Nevis's career, he didn't give a you-know-what about his own reputation.
Oh, my.
Is this love?
And It Ain't: Jake Gyllenhaal, Hugh Grant, Alexander Skarsgård

Please see the label below for a link to the previous Nevis and Barrington BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated as Nevis.

Top suspects:
Nevis Devine = Robert Pattinson
Barrington Bang-Me = Tom Sturridge
slutty beard = Sienna Miller

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Blind Vice: Which TV Costars Secretly Hate Each Other?

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Which TV Costars Secretly Hate Each Other?

Fake à la Ferocity has nothing on wholesome TV and movie actress Trixie Twinkle-Twat, whose new series, Family Values, was renewed recently.
And, trust us, that's saying a whole helluva backstabbing lot.
Trixie's current crime?
Telling her bosses—and, consequently, the world—that she not only adores her famous costar, Vander Van Der Butt, but she wouldn't considering doing anything other than their show, professionally speaking.
When the truth is Trixie, who's got a reputation for sending homemade cookies to people she loathes, will not even look Vander in the eye when they're alone, much less speak to him. She detests him, curses him ever opportunity she can—and the feeling is mutual.
Trix just faked liking him because she knew it would get her a big family boob-tube job.
And it gets even more ironic! Not only did execs approve Trixie and Vander's current cozy show based on the fact they were (supposedly) real-life friends, but also because Ms. Twinkle-Twit's made an entire career out of folks thinking she'd prefer to bake cookies instead of bitch people out like the truck driver she is at heart.
AND IT AIN'T: Nancy Travis and Tim Allen, Julie Bowen and Ty Burrell, Patricia Heaton and Neil Flynn

Top suspects:  Melissa Joan Hart & Joey Lawrence, or Christina Applegate & Will Arnett

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Lainey: Wife Confronts Colleague

New riddle from Lainey -

Wife Confronts Colleague
A popular married television personality who’s also a chronic cheater had an affair a few years ago with a woman (also married with kids) who’s now become his colleague. The colleague ran into his wife recently. The wife decided they would have a little conversation. There were no pleasantries. The wife pretty much opened with - who did you have to f-ck to get this new position? How many people have you f-cked to get to where you are now? The colleague, obviously mortified, as they’re actually in a place crawling with parents and children, frequented by their own children, tried to be civil, tried to downplay the hostilities. No, the wife wasn’t interested in having a dignified discussion in public. She kept up her line of questioning about the colleague’s career mobility with pointed questions about how much time she’d spent on her back to get to where she is. The badgering continued, the wife was relentless, until the colleague rushed away. The wife is now boasting about the incident to all the ladies in the circle and beyond, convinced that the reason the colleague is getting so much play on the network these days is because she’s willing to give up so much play for the executives, the way she gave it up for her husband.

This isn’t the first time the wife has behaved aggressively. Her husband has pleaded with her to chill out when they’re in public as it could affect his reputation, like his constant dicking isn’t the major contributor to that. Still, her target right now is his colleague and the colleague’s reputation and she seems to be willing, happily willing, to share with anyone who asks how this colleague is earning all her jobs ...though I wonder if all that casting couching is enough since, you know, Julia Roberts didn’t seem to be aware.

Top suspects:
colleague: Natalie Morales
cheating husband: Matt Lauer

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Blind Vice Reveal - Kirkland Dogmatic & Teddy Big Treat

On Tuesday Oct 18 Ted did a reveal... one that we already figured out, of course!  Read on...

Blind Vice Revealed!  Kirkland Dogmatic is...

It isn't a crime to be gay and in love, so why should we keep it a secret? Which is why we're tres tickled to reveal one of our fave lovey dovey Vicers: Kirkland Dogmatic. Even tho his tale isn't exactly debauched, we're sure you remember Kirk, right?
He's one of the successful stars of that futuristic franchise Invasion From Planet OctopusTeddy Big-Treat. But since Kirk is ready to bust out of the closet, we might as well just tell you... and also happens to have a hunky out and proud BF on the side,
  It's Zachary Quinto. Duh.
Most of the savvier Vice guessers were able to peg Star Trek star Zach from the start, and we say kudos to you. The dude was never too far in the closet (i.e. he never played the beard game) but it was still nice to hear him finally—and officially—come out this weekend.
So who's his knight in rainbow armor?
Well if you didn't get it from the massive hint we gave you in the original Vice, then you deserve to have your Awful Truth membership card revoked. We tipped you off that Teddy was super tight with Ms. Lea Michele. Ya know, like BFF tight.
Yep, Teddy is none other than Glee guy Jonathan Groff. But you figured that out yourself, yes?
The twosome have been spotted on the town in the past and were even rumored to have gone on a few double dates with Lea and her now ex-boyfriend. So now that Zach is officially out and proud, will we see some PDA between the two.
Not so fast.
'Cause tho we reached out for comment from both boys' reps and have yet to hear back from either, we hear from other sources that as formerly tight as these two were, they're no longer quite as tight as they used to be. Tell us it ain't so!
Oh well, guess we'll just wait to see who Kirkland Zach links up with next...if we're forced to.

Thanks for the confirmation Ted!  Please refer to the label below for a link to our previous post on Kirkland and Teddy.

Kirkland Dogmatic = Zachary Quinto

Teddy Big-Treat = Jonathan Groff

Blind Vice! Barbie Snorts Her Way to Cancellation!

New from Ted Friday Oct 21 -

Blind Vice!  Barbie Snorts Her Way to Cancellation!

I live for a gal who's survived in the movies—shown she has what it takes to star in many of them, some even successful—and then totally reinvents herself afterwards.
That's right, for a second career as a TV star! Of course, where else is there for movie chicks who age, but, that's beside the point.

Which is that Barbie Sinatra started reinventing herself long before she dipped into TV fare by...
Totally changing her appearance. We mean totally.
Whereas many folks guessed about Barbie's nips here and tucks there, we're here to tell you it was all due to nose-candy, baby!
That's right, Barbie, who got famous with an entirely different figure than the one she possesses now, decided she wanted what the rest of the chicas had in Hollywood, i.e., lots more acting opportunities. And Barbie's more natural appearance she got famous with just wasn't cutting it enough.
The drugged-out Pygmalion stuff worked pretty well for awhile, too.
But, just like all addictions, Barbie's coke habit eventually got the better of her and that primo TV gig she landed as a result of her new-found frame is about to be cancelled—not in the least because Barbie's coke-fuelled scenes of over-acting. I mean, Barb gives new meaning to the term scenery-chewing, as she also eats her costars alive, too, hysterical stuff!
Only it's not a comedy she's starring in, dearies!
And It Ain't: Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria, Jessica Lange

Eliminated as of 2/25/12: Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria, Jessica Lange, Mary Louise Parker, Whitney Cummings, Dana Delaney

Top suspect: Christina Ricci from Pan Am

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Lainey - Her kids were watching

New riddle from Lainey today -

Her kids were watching

Film set. Recently. She’s shooting a sex scene. Walking around set in her bra, no shirt on, panties, standard attire, nothing unusual about it...

Except that her children were there that day. They were visiting. And it was no thing, you know? That was her costume. They saw her in his costume while they were there. And then she sat them behind the monitor so that they could see her work and they watched while mom worked with another actor - she rubbed up against him, he returned the rubbing, she made love for pretend, for the movies, to a man that was not the father of her children, in front of her children.

I’m sure over 90% of you are all huffy and tutty about this and have been since the start of the 2nd paragraph. “It’s so inappropriate, it’s so bizarre, these people are sick f-cks”, etc etc etc. Me I’m still trying to decide. Part of me understands the huffing and the tutting. And the other part, well, it’s worth huffing and tutting over in real life, for civilians, because that’s simply not part of that world.

But take Kate Winslet for example - and this is NOT about Kate Winslet - who’s already been naked on screen several times, and her kids go to school with other kids whose parents have seen their mother’s breasts, and you realise, theirs is a totally different reality. And, given that that is the reality, if you are the subject of this riddle, do you prepare your children for it by bringing them with you, by showing them that this is not real, that this is what happens in filmmaking, that this is part of the process, that this is part of what’s considered their craft or their art, or whatever fancy word they’re using for it these days, that this is not dirty, that there’s nothing shady about it, in the hopes of removing or addressing in advance any stigma/embarrassment that might arise later...

Mommy is an Actor and this is what Acting is...

A part of me doesn’t disagree with that either, you know?

Anyway, I look forward to reading your emails.

Top suspect: Gwyneth Paltrow

Lainey - Action Homewrecker

This was Lainey's riddle from Monday -

Action Homewrecker

A marriage is over. A one year old baby will now grow up in a broken home. Because the dickhead of a father couldn’t resist the action star. He’s a crew member on her show, no one famous. She is the star of the show. And a major bitch. Was hated before she decided to f-ck up a family. Is even more hated now. Because she decided she had to have him, that’s it, never mind that he’s married and his wife had a baby not too long ago. They’d been carrying on for a while. Then, one day about a month ago, they were fooling around and his wife walked in. She ended it right away. And, well, being that she also works in the industry, she didn’t bother hiding why.

He, of course, thinks he’s in love. She on the other hand is still dealing occasionally with a number of past and current co-stars. This is not the first time she’s taken what she wants when it’s supposed to be unavailable. And every time she leaves a mess behind. I’m told she truly believes there’s a hierarchy in the business.  That those who are on camera, as she is, and look the way she does - really, really beautiful - are unquestionably entitled to things, and that those who choose to work in the same field, lower on the food chain, in doing so also implicitly buy into the same ideology. One night, at a Hollywood party, when she was on hiatus, she apparently shared this with several people over dinner, speaking only to the men and not their wives who sat there open-mouthed as this bitch pretty much told them that if she decided to f-ck their husbands, they’d have to accept it as part of the world order. It’s not Scarlett Johansson.
Top suspect:

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Blind Vice! Cheating Chubster Lawyers Up!

New from Ted on Friday -

Blind Vice!  Cheating Chubster Lawyers Up!

Forget Ashton Kutcher and whatever tabloid allegations have him tweeting mad today.
'Cause we've got a Vice star that we know can't keep it in his pants, much to the dismay of his poor partner and kiddos. Yep, Chubster Hunkster—who's looking less hunkster and far more chubster these days—is back and still sneaking around.

Thing is, he's starting to get nervous. Real nervous:
'Cause one of his chicks on the side is ready to blab.
So Chub did what every good stud worth his star power would do: he lawyered up. And Mr. Hunkster's legal team told that gal if she even breathed in the way of the tabloids, they'd sue her for every penny she's worth.
And trust, these are not the kind of lawyers you wanna mess with.
So the broad did what most other sensible peeps would do: she shut up and disappeared. And Chub can keep on with his cheating ways.
But for how long?
This par-tick chick wasn't the only one whispering about Chubster's inclination towards infidelity. It's only a matter of time before his extramarital bed hopping gets back to his gorgeous honey.
Or worse, the press.
Stupid P.S.: Why do men cheat with not-exactly-knockout stripper types when they've got goddesses at home?
I know, I know, stupid question.
And It Ain't: Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum

Please see the label below to read our post on the previous Chubster Hunkster BV, including a list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Liev Schrieber

Lainey - Biohazard

This was new from Lainey on Friday -


Here’s a gross one to kick off your weekend. If you’re prudey and squeamish, you may want to skip it.

We’re women. Sometimes the cycle, it’s hard to control. How many times have you heard someone complain that her holiday was happening right when the menses were too? (Menses is the MOST hilarious word to me, by the way. Because I’m immature enough to laugh about the fact that it’s so similar to Mensa. Anyway...)

Imagine then if your speciality was being naked on screen? And, you know, how that would work if you were on your period? And this is not a porn show. This, actually, is a critically acclaimed show. And one day, while shooting a nude scene, she walked on set with no clothes on and her tampon string clearly visible.

(I am warning you right now.If you just squealed, you need to stop reading this and move on. It’s about to get worse. Go.)

So of course they can’t shoot her with her tampon still inside her so, you know, in front of the entire crew, she pulls it out and drops it on the floor and asks the PA to pick it up and toss it for her. Which, um, is a biohazard, and you know, those PAs, their tolerance is high, but no, picking up used tampons is not part of the job. The bleeder reluctantly had to throw it out herself.

This is just one of many incidents that has resulted in her screen-time getting reduced. By the end of it, there’s a chance she could come back, but she’s certainly not being considered a mainstay regular anymore either.

Easy, right?

SO easy.

Top suspect, as was revealed by Lainey:  Paz de le Huerta from Boardwalk Empire

Friday, October 7, 2011

Blind Vice! Spineless Hubby Gets Too Kinky In Bed

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice!  Spineless Hubby Gets Too Kinky In Bed

Remember the overly timid (but good-looking) hubby, Pussy Gabor?
Poor thing never really found the nerve to stand up to his bossy wife, and most folks never thought he would.
Well, that was before Pussy discovered the magical benefits of a marital ménage à trois:
Both Pussy, as well as his wife, Shar-Shar Max, agreed that throwing another girl into the mix was perhaps a good idea at spicing up their ho-hum marriage.
Of course, Shar-Shar and Pussy never stopped to really analyze themselves. If they had, they would have discovered that's where problem lied: They're simply nice, boring people!
But, we digress.
The more these three-ways became a habit, the further and further Pussy and Shar-Shar fell away from a happy union. In fact, the swinging sex scene the attractive couple adopted just happened to be the beginning of the end of their relationship.
Three things: Why do couples (gay and straight) always expect screwing other parties not to effect their marriages? Almost always does—and not in a good way. Remember, somebody always gets kissed a little less in those uneven situations!
Secondly, maybe if they'd had both gals and guys, things would have turned out differently? Eh, probably not.
Lastly, a few of these third parties had recording equipment: huge problem.
And It Ain't: Diane Lane & Josh Brolin, Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith, Michael C. Hall & Jennifer Carpenter
Top suspects: Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore

Please use the label below to read our previous post on the previous Pussy Gabor BV.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Blind Vice! Boy Crazy Parrish Can't Keep a Beard!

New from Ted yesterday Sept 30 -

Blind Vice!  Boy Crazy Parrish Can't Keep a Beard!

Uh oh, Parrish Maguire is in hot water.
And we're not talking about a warm Jacuzzi—ya know, the place Parr likes to hook up with older, more experienced men while other partygoers watch (how devilishly naughty is that?).

No, we're talking trouble.

Parrish has a beard problem. As in, he needs one, pronto.
See, Parrish can't seem to find a H'wood chica willing to put up with him long enough to establish some straight cred.
Which means people are starting to talk. And not just in T-town (where Parr's pals have been whispering about his dude-on-dude sextivities since forever)—we're talking popcorn munchin', movie-ticket buying audiences, too.
And Parrish is freaked out, no matter how much PR his peeps put out to cover his homolicious tracks.
So why can't Parrish land a babe willing to stick by his side?
Well, he's a monster. He's got a horrible diva ‘tude that rivals the worst of the worst T-town be-yotches. And word is spreading through the B.A.H. (that'd be the Beard Association of Hollywood) not to link up with him—which is why you'll see him out and about with a bevy of ladies but nothing ever sticks.
Funnily enough, Parrish used to be a real sweetie (back when we had a long-term cutie boyfriend attached at the hip). But that's what happens when you let your head get out of control—and we ain't talking about the one on his shoulders.
And It Ain't: Chris Hemsworth, Justin Timberlake, Joe Manganiello

Please use the link below to read our other posts on the previous Parrish Maguire BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Taylor Lautner

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Lainey- How much does she know?

New from Lainey

How Much Does She Know?

She's not with her boyfriend anymore and we're to believe it ended amicably and for her sake, I hope so, but i'm not sure she would deal well with the fact that just a couple of weeks before their split was officially confirmed, he was on the road with someone else in his hotel room. The girl had the build he's known to prefer- lean and muscular- and she answered the door wearing nothing but her underwear and her hands covering her breasts. Seemed very young.
Didn't seem uncomfortable and, you know, did what she told and was supposed to do while he lay in bed, naked, kinda ignoring her. She meanwhile kept walking around without her top on, like it was totally normal. And apparently it wasn't the first time. All the time. For a long time. Which, for some reason, was a surprise to no one but his girlfriend, now ex, who never, ever, ever learns. Kinda like her successor, from another relationship, and why can't we give these girls some better love vision???

Top suspect: Cameron Diaz, Alex Rodriguez

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Blind Vice: Watch the Lip, Lloyd!

New from Ted on Friday.  Yet again, Ted has ever-so-slightly changed the name of a well-known BV.  Are we talking about Lloyd Boy-Toyed, or someone new named Lloyd Boy-Toy?  We are going to go out on a limb and for now say they are the SAME PERSON.  If Ted tells us otherwise in the future, we can always change our plan.

Blind Vice: Watch the Lip, Lloyd!

You know how some cheating husbands (like Arnold Schwarzenegger) really do want to get caught, so they do stupid things and leave obvious clues? Same thing with sexually conflicted Hollywood stars such as Crotch Uh-Lastic and Toothy Tile. Now, mind you, most closeted gay guys in Hollywood are more of the Fey Oiled-Tush variety and do not want to be known—under any circumstances.
However, there are exceptions, such as Crotch, Toothy and—we dare say—Lloyd Boy-Toy, who's totally pushing the gay envelope lately. Certainly the bisexual one:

Lloyd, always a most fascinating actor, is busy maintaining quite the dichotomy-filled existence: While he dates more and more (and younger and younger) attractive women, he's also continuing to hire male prostitutes.
Now, keep in mind these women Mr. Boy-Toy goes out with are not just pretty fixtures for the famous guy to be seen with, as Lloyd also enjoys sexual relationships with these gals.
But he's also just as enamored with young men, trust us!

Add to this somewhat complicated life path the fact that Lloyd's also been caught screaming anti-gay epithets, as Lloyd's temper has never been something he's too great at controlling. Hmmm. Wonder what that means?
Probably exactly what it looks like: The handsome guy's not only conflicted about how he feels about other people's sexuality (hence, his own), but part of him is dying to be called out for who he really is!
Keep up the name-calling, Lloyd, and that's exactly what will happen.
And It Ain't: Daniel Craig, Robert Downey Jr., Hugh Jackman

Please see the other posts on the previous 3 Lloyd Boy-Toyed BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect (if this is the same guy as Lloyd Boy-Toyed): Alec Baldwin

Update: Ted semi-revealed this to be Alec Baldwin on June 29, 2012.


Lainey - Franchise Fat

New riddle from Lainey Thursday ... it was actually written by Sarah -

Franchise Fat

He showed up the first time fit and fine but this time around he was rather round about the tum. The director noticed and was not happy, fearing for the consistency of the franchise. When asked to slim down, the slightly schlumpy star responded, “This movie isn’t worth it.” The trim-down request was rejected, and the show went on, but feelings were sore and things were a bit stiff until Sir Portly finished his scenes.

Top suspect: Michael Sheen

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Blind Vice! Slutty Star Sleeps Her Way to the Middle!

New from Ted on Friday Sept 16 -

Blind Vice!  Slutty Star Sleeps Her Way to the Middle!

Everyone in Hollywood is wondering who Portia Vajazzle is dating.
She flies solo when she's strutting her stuff on whatever red carpet she happens to be walking that week, and even though she's been linked up to some of the hottest hunks this side of Beverly Hills, she remains (shockingly) single.
Or so she says. You see, Ms. Portia is plenty busy behind closed doors...
"She sleeps with everyone," a pal very in the know about Portia's lusty life tells us.
Well, she won't sleep with just anyone. She's got certain standards that must be met, but we'll get to that in a moment.
So who did this young, gorgeous gal bed most recently?
Blind Vicer Stinky Carrot-Crotch, who is known more for his sometimes-silly jokes than his skills between the sheets.
Um, what gives, Porsh? You can totally do better than that dud.
Thing is, P.V. knows exactly what she's doing. She's a crafty chica and digs men with power. Well, uses men with power is more like it.
See, Stinky was more than happy to have her on the set of his latest flick when he knew how easy it was to get into her panties (ya know, if she's even wearing any to begin with).
It's the same stint Portia pulled with the movie before Mr. Carrot-Crotch's. And the one before that too.
We're not positive if Portia's been bedding these dudes to land the roles or just sleeping around once she's gotten the gig, but if we know anything about this town, we're guessing it's the former.
And It Ain't: Ashley Greene, Blake Lively, Jennifer Lawrence

Eliminated for Portia Vajazzle as of 6/16/12: Ashley Greene, Blake Lievely, Jennifer Lawrence, Olivia Wilde, Vanessa Hudgens, anyone from The Savages,

Top suspect: Mila Kunis

Please see the label below for our other post on the  original Stinky Carrot-Crotch BV.(Top suspect for him is Seth MacFarlane.)

National Enquirer blind item

OK we didn't actually see this blind item in the National Inquirer.  But I am reprinting Ted's take on it.  This was in the Awful Truth on Monday -

Which Film Hunk Is Crushing on a Gay Activist?

We love a juicy Blind Vice as much as the next gossip-monger.
Which is why we've been tres captivated with The National Enquirer's mysterious mention
of a hunky film star who's been seriously (but secretly) crushing on out and proud actor and activist James Duke MasonNow we know the Enquirer isn't always a beacon of reliability, but we gotta wonder: There's no way it's one of our favorite stars, right? Could it be...

Jake Gyllenhaal, who's certainly considered hunky, what with his buffed up Prince of Persia muscles and boyishly charming smile? And while Jake's currently single, he's just recently been linked up with Anna Kendrick and Rashida Jones. There's no way he's burned through all of T-town's babes already, right?
Or maybe it's the equally scrumptious and single...
Zac Efron, who's got the biceps and abs to rival any hottie in H'wood—with a very successful big screen career, to boot. Zacky and former flame Vanessa Hudgens parted ways and he's been flying solo since then, but those strip-club trips weren't a cover for a blossoming boy-on-boy relaysh, were they?
Say it ain't so!. Or could it be K.Stew's boyfriend...
Robert Pattinson, who is one of the hottest young actors in the world and headlining the biggest fanged franchise, like, ever. But he's happily in love with costar Kristen Stewartjust jet-setted to see her in London, right? He wouldn't possibly sneak around on his very own Bella Swan with a boy-toy, would he? and
And what about Rob's Twilight cohort...
Taylor Lautner, whose werewolf six pack has earned him quite the fan club. And James himself sent a mysterious tweet saying the Blind Vicer could "ABDUCT" him any day—could this be a clue to Tay's film Abduction or just a clever red herring? 'Cause certainly he wasn't faking it with cutie costar Lily Collins, was he?
Or maybe it's not any of the folks mentioned above? There are a lot of hot guys in this town...
Who the hell is it, then? 'Cause when it's really worth it, we like diggin' in other folks' blind gossip, too.
Sound off below!

Top suspect: Taylor Lautner

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Blind Vice! Diva Chiquita is Sooo Much Better than Every Body Else

New BV from Ted yesterday Sept 9 -

Blind Vice!  Diva Chiquita is Sooo Much Better Than Everybody Else

Oh Chiquita, how we missed your crazy ass!
NAYA RIVERA 8x10 Female Celebrity Photo Signed In-PersonYou remember our fave psycho TV starlet, right? She's the batty babe who slept her way to the top on her hit boob tube series, all while failing to get her former flame written into small screen oblivion.
Well, these days it's Chicky's big head rather than her man-trapping nether regions that has everyone whispering:
'Cause Chiquita is copping some serious diva 'tude lately.
Sources thisclose to Chicky's on-set stomping grounds tell us that the entire cast of the primetime staple was asked to do some extracurricular promotion for their upcoming season.
It's part of the gig after all, right?
Well not for Chiquita, who promptly informed the suits in charge that she was too big a star for that kind of nonsense and that her less famous costars could manage without her.
Which is exactly what they did. And we wonder if anyone even noticed Chiquita was absent.
Can you believe the ovaries on this broad?
Thing is, Chicky is hardly the biggest star on her least not anymore. She hasn't been walking as many red carpets, booked as many big screen projects, or even landed on as many tabloid covers as some of her poor costars.
Hear that, Chiquita? You're losing your B-list status. Guess it's time to spread those legs again!
And It Ain't: Ashley Benson, Deborah Ann Woll, Polly Perrette

Please refer to the label below for a link to the previous Chiquita BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Naya Rivera

Blind Vice! Chutney Jones Gets the Last Laugh!

This was Ted's BV from Monday... Chutney Jones returns...

Blind Vice!  Chutney Jones Gets the Last Laugh!

You ready for a game of six degrees of Blind Vice separation?
Poor vanilla Chutney Jones never has any fun, right?
Right. Except that she did, for like one second there after slutty Jerry Rock-Butt dumped her snooze-worthy (but expertly toned) tush to bed a more sexually adventurous T-town chick—Kiki Doheny, of course. So what did old Chut do?
Jessica Biel 24X36 Poster #04Skanked it up with another Vice star!
We already told you that Chutney was getting her flirt on with Saucy Bossy, a bisexual superstar who's about as horny as he is famous (which is, very). Well things don't stay in the flirty stage with Saucy for long.
‘Cause he wanted action. And Chutney wanted to show she can live on the wild side.
A dangerous combo, no?
Meanwhile, Jerr was out trying to woo Kiki, who used him and abused him while smiling for the cameras the whole time, leaving Jerry to drown his sorrows in a string of waiting hussies. Don't take it too hard, J—it's what she does to all her men.
Thing is (and, trust, we didn't expect this), Jerry ran back to Chutney with his tail between his legs.
And as stupid as she is, she took him back! But Saucy Bossy has a nasty little STD that Chutney could have easily picked up. Guess only time (and some mysterious itching) will tell.
AND IT AIN'T: Minka Kelly, Jennifer Lopez, Ashley Greene
Please refer to the label below for links to our posts on the previous Chutney, Jerry, Saucy, and Kiki BVs, including full lists of who has been eliminated for Jerry and Saucy.

Top suspects:
Chutney Jones - Jessica Biel
Saucy Bossy - Jamie Foxx
Jerry Rock Butt - Justin Timberlake
Kiki Doheny - Olivia Wilde

Friday, September 2, 2011

Blind Vice: Cookie Muncher returns...

New from Ted today.  Another old one returns...

Blind Vice: Cookie Muncher Gobbles Ladycake While Her Dude Nabs Mansnacks!

Many of you seem to have been shocked, simply shocked, at the girl-on-girl desires of gorgeous Cookie Muncher. She has a thing for satisfying the ladies from time to time, see, and we don't mean by serving them tea.
Cindy Crawford - New DimensionWhat's the big deal? She's still much more into her handsome man than the chicks. She just likes to have her ladycake and eat it, too, no biggie.
Well, guess who else is into having some nice (beef)cake on the side?
Cookie's main man, that's who!
Makes sense. Now we know why Cookie's never hidden her lesbian-leaning side!
Now, this good-lookin' guy of Cookie's—who's less famous than his partner—is starting to get pretty habitual with his playing around, which was never really part of the deal he originally struck with Cookie. And he's getting a bit more flagrant than Cookie ever was, as well.
So, what does this mean?
Do you think Cookie will up her Sapphic game? Will she give her guy an ultimatum, or just go straight to handing him his walking papers?
Don't think so.
If we know Cookie like we think we do, she's just gonna ask to join in next time her guy takes his guy on date.
Cookie's a ravenous girl!
AND IT AIN'T: Sandra Bullock, Britney Spears, Reese Witherspoon

Please see the label below for a link to our post on the previous Cookie Muncher BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Cindy Crawford (and husband Rande Gerber)

Friday, August 26, 2011

Blind Vice: Everybody's Whispering About Nick!

New from Ted today.  An oldie returns.  This one was suspected to be about Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith the first time around.  Bt there were questions surrounding that, after Ted was (as usual) contradictory about the timing of Will's BV.  Now that they are in the tabs again, they seem to fit for this again.

Blind Vice: Everybody's Whispering About Nick!

The sexy-ass life (and wife) Hard-Nipple Nick set up for himself years ago is getting so complicated lately. As if agreeing that your wife could have her lovers while you have yours could ever be an easy arrangement for very long! Hot, yeah, but, easy?
Will Smith - Personality Poster (Size: 27'' x 40'')Not anymore. Here's what's unraveling:
The trust. And we don't mean between Hard-Nipple and his missus. More like the help.
You know, all those peeps rich folks like Mr. Nick always have around? Sure, they've all signed confidentiality agreements, but, you think they all pay attention to those legal handcuffs? Actually, yes, most within the Nick household do.
Just not all. Two employees very close to Hard-Nipple are opening their traps about their employer's imaginative marital arrangement, and word's starting to get out lately—much more than it has in the past. Regarding what an active, lively and rather democratic love-life (with more attention to the boys than to the girls we must add) Hard enjoys!
So, perhaps Nick's legal eagles might want to look in the direction of those sleeping near Hard-Nipple, as opposed to those right next to (which is where they're currently focused).
AND IT AIN'T: Jensen Ackles, Matthew McConaughey, Ben Affleck

Please click on the label below for a link to our post on the previous Hard-Nipple Nick Blind Vice from 2009, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Will Smith

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Blind Vice: Hildago's Bitch Has Moved On to Bigger Gays

New from Ted yesterday.  Refer to the label below for a link to the previous Hildago BV.

Blind Vice: Hildago's Bitch Has Moved On to Bigger Gays

It wasn't Hildago Van Buren who had most people intrigued a couple of weeks ago, but instead, the guy with all the young fans who kept rubbing himself up Hildago's backside! Who could it have been?
Well, I think it's time for everybody to meet Carson Ampi-Dickorous, one of Hollywood's most charming sex addicts...
Who not only uses his skills for personal enjoyment, but for work duties, as well!
Now, the last time we heard from (and saw) Carson, he was mime breeding HIildago's behind, and it wasn't that big of a deal. After all, more than a few people in town know what an aspiring slut Carson is and how he'll at least make out—if not go all the way—with practically anybody for a good time.
But what is on some Hollywood folks' minds now is just how far will Carson go for a job? In other words, would Carson actually sell his soul (and his services) out just to land a primo part?
Perhaps. Because one of the hottest guys in TV (who's largely responsible for Carson's recent re-entry into the fame game) is working on some new projects. And Mr. Ampi-Dickorous has made it very plain to his employer just how far he'd be willing to go for a chance at that new gig.
Will it work? Honestly? Probably.
You think only straight casting couches are alive and well in this town?
And It Ain't: Robert Downey Jr., Alec Baldwin, Jamie Foxx

Use the label below for a link to the previous Hildago BV.

For Hildago Van Buren -
Eliminated: Ricky Martin, Elton John, Adam Lambert, Hugh Jackman, Rob Pattinson, Zac Efron, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Cheyenne Jackson
Top suspect: Neil Patrick Harris

For Carson Ampi-Dickorous -
Eliminated: Taylor Lautner, Joe Jonas, Rob Pattinson, Zac Efron, Chace Crawford, Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey Jr., Alec Baldwin, Jamie Foxx,
Top suspect: ?

Friday, August 19, 2011

Blind Vice! Lovey-Dovey Couple About to Call it Quits!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice! Lovey-Dovey Couple About to Call it Quits!

Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher is having some trouble in paradise.
But at least she'll have someone to commiserate about her romance troubles with ‘cause, in case you didn't know, she's practically besties with Carmelita Salami-Climber. And rightfully so, they're cut from the same juicy pig, if you catch my drift.
Well, while Carm thinks she's in BF heaven, Carol is in relationship hell...
‘Cause her man is fed up with her BS.
See, Carol's guy actually really loves her. Like, over the moon love. Adorable, right?
We don't see much true love in the Vice vault.
And while Carol says she totally hearts her dude right back, she can't seem to stop her very flirtatious ways. Ya know, like when she brings her guy to swanky T-town shindigs and spends the whole night letting strangers paw at her very enviable assets. All while her poor schmuck of a partner watches on.
Well enough is enough, and Carol Anne's man pulled her aside at a recent party for what he thought was a private conversation.
Unfortch, Carol got all dramatic (per usual) and made a scene. Now everyone's watching to see if the formerly so-happy couple busts up.
And we wouldn't be surprised if they split, like, tomorrow. It's getting that bad.
And It Ain't: Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Aniston

Update as of 1/27/12 Ted has eliminated: Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Aniston, Jada Pinkett-Smith, any couple with children, Naya Rivera, Blake Lively, Kristin Cavallari

Top suspects: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom