Friday, December 16, 2011

Blind Vice: During Awards Season, the King Forgets His Queen Days

New BV from Ted today.  Schlong returns...

Blind Vice: During Awards Season, the King Forgets His Queen Days

Some dudes like Crotch Uh-Lastic and Toothy Tile, we really feel for. These are movie stars who truly do only like other guys, even though they also (just as much) want to be renowned film actors. So they play the game (well, Toothy does).
But then there's mischievous bisexual King Schlong, who can take boys—or go without them.
So, what's King's current sexual bent? And could the dog-eat-dog awards season have something to do with King's choice?
Girls, girls, girls and yes, yes, yes.

You see, truth be known, King's always fooled around with both sexes (as recently as this year, too!). But it's really not what drives King ultimately romantically—and certainly not come the career-defining months from Emmys to Oscars.
"That boy will no sooner go around boys when these awards are still out than Alec Baldwin will apologize to American Airlines," said one of King's myriad Biz colleagues, who knows full well that Schlong has long been a free spirit and doesn't want to be tied down to either sex, in any capacity.
But this maverick sensibility, we're told, is wholly heterosexually infused, at this time of the year because what King wants more than domestic happiness is...big ol' trophy-time recognition. "Like, bad," is how it was put to us.
Jeez. Kinda sounds like that old stereotype people are always applying to women only in this town, like, she slept her way to the top.
Apparently, King's desperately trying it out, too.
But will it work?
And It Ain't: Alex Pettyfer, Kellan Lutz, Alec Baldwin

Please refer to the label below for a link to our posts on the previous King Schlong BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Leo


blurry vice said...

Ted's afternoon mention of Leo, including that he is dating another Vistoria Secret Angel

Kim said...

I wasnt sold on KS being Leo when the blind originally came out. This week, Ted has made it painfully obvious. The allusion to "not being tied down in any capacity" in this blind, and his comments on the bitch backs recently have really made it so that there is no other option left. It has to be Leo.

NYCGirl said...

If it is him, why a mention of Emmys?

FrenchGirl said...

this new blind vice is uninteresting

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What is King Schlong up to? Is he still doing justice to his moniker or has he found love?

Dear Schlonging Around:
He's around, doing mucho justice to his moniker. Dude is not settling down. In fact, far from it, seeing as he has no ties to hold him back.

Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong based primarily on the East Coast or West Coast? Also, how did the newly single King's relationship end? Is he still torn up, or glad to be roaming free in the single world?

Dear Build an Empire:
King's A-list, Claire-bear, which means that he's global (ya know, as in he's got pads in multiple places). But he's mostly here in Hollyweird. As for the latest gal, K.S. is hardly feeling weeping about it. In fact, he hardly cares at all!"

Viking Girl said...

If I didn't know this was Leo DiCaprio, I'd think this was George Clooney. Still, it does make me wonder why Clooney is off limits - for Ted anyway.

Kim said...

Viking Girl, George Clooney has been eliminated as KS by Ted. Like you, I have wondered why Ted says that GC has a blind, but the only one I can find has him as an unimportant side character (Slick Brick) from 2009, or the "Cuba and Chocolate" blind. Am I missing something? Surely there is plenty going on behind the scenes with him!!

Rita said...

If Leo is thinking of winning an Oscar for his role in J. Edgar... It was awful! Over the top acting, bad make-up. Just awful.

Should've played the game for his "Catch Me if You Can" role. He was much better in that one.

And yeah, people forget that Leo was raised in a sort of sect-ish society. His parents, along the Phoenix parents were part of a free love sect, where everyone lived together, and children learned about sex early on.

I remember reading about this when I was younger. And thinking to myself, this guy will never go the traditional route. Free love for the rest of his life!

Sheba said...

@ rita
Firstly the movie wasn't great but he's performance was fine. The real j edgar was over the top especially with his speech, you can look it up on you tube if you don't believe me.
Secondly I know a lot of people who don't want to get married (both girls and guy's) and they are not hippies. And why should they. People who get married these day's are divorcing each other after a couple of years. Americans need to start realising that times are changing and stop whining that people need to get married or married to someone from the other sex. We europeans already doing that and in my country people of the same sex can get married if they want to. Also there are hippies who aren't gay or bi. And there are alot of gay's and bisexuals who aren't hippies. Cults have nothing to do with that.

Rita said...

i'm discussing the fact that Leo did not have a traditional upbringing, and that people should not be surprised that he would not lead a traditional life. Gay, straight, or bi.

Brooke Wheeler said...

"We Europeans..." blah blah blah. You're more liberal than us--we get it, ok? Now be quiet about it already. The European superiority complex is nothing but annoying and, at times, comical.

pikespeak said...

This has LEO written all over it.

Sheba said...

@ rita sorry I thought you were consending about people who are free spirits. I apoligize.

@ brooke
It's the americans who always think there the most powerfull country in the world and I didn't mean it to insult all americans. And I know we're not perfect either and made a lot of mistakes like congo for example.
But there a lot more homophobes in america than in europe. That's why they are still protesting against gay marriage.

Rita said...

No worries Sheba, sometimes there is language barrier and obviously an expression gets mis-translated. Leading of course to misunderstanding.

Whatever it is, welcome to the site, where we mostly try to concentrate on solving blind items. Not achieve world peace:)

Sheba said...

@ rita thanks
I was wondering did any of you ever asked ted a question about the hollywood heartthrob he was caught with? Because today someone asked ted about the guys king sleeps with and ted hinted that he doesn't sleep with his friends such as I espected.
I know a lot of people always thought leo sleeps with Tobey mcguire or Lucas Haas but I didn't believe that while I did believe he's bi.
I think that the heartthrob is brad pitt. They are not known to be best friends or something. And ted refered to angelina in that blind. Oh and apoligize for my mispelling sometimes.

Rita said...

Sheba, if you look at the comments in the past King Sclong blinds, I think the consensus was probably His Guilbert Grapes co-star Johnny Depp. You will have to go through them again, it would also let you know what Ted answered in regards to King in the past months.

Sheba said...

@ rita
I know. I already read them. I've been coming to this site for months. It's only now that I decided to start posting. But I ment if anyone here asked ted for info on the other heartthrob that he just didn't answer. Or if someone want to ask him.

Savannah said...

So in the first blind King was depicted as being hetero, then Ted made him sound like he'd dabbled with guys, now he's saying King would rather sleep with guys but sleeps with women for his image? Quite the departure.

Sheba said...

@ savannah
He wasn't described as hetero in the first blind. The blind was about a girl he slept with. In the second one it was the producer lady that said he sleeps with guys sometimes. And the fourth blind doesn't say that he prefers guys over girls. It's saying that he always has slept with both but he is now giving up guys for a while because he doesn't want to upset academy voters because they are homophobic. It was alraedy obvious that he was discribed as bisexual at the second blind. And the recent one his stating that he's never panning on settling down with either sexes. It seems to me that he doesn't prefer one over the other.

FrenchGirl said...

@Sheba: Ted C also named Leo D,Ryan G(or R) and Sam Worthington as Hollywood straight guys before to do King Schlong 's blind vice

after, there are some rumors on Leo since a very long time(a 90's porn flick with a very young lookalike Leo D) because he's all time with his male friends(The Brat Pack)

Sheba said...

@ pomme
I believe he said as straight as a handmade arrow. A handmade arrow is never completely straight. And again in the vices he never said that king schlong is straight. And even in the questions about king he hints at girls and guys. And I don't think that ted's ever going to say that a person is gay or bi, if that person isn't out to the main public. He's leaving that for the vices afteral.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Are King Schlong's male partners different guys each time? Or does he have some regular "friends"? Will he be flaunting a new girl around for awards time?

Dear Schlong's Tag Alongs:
He has some repeat customers, but King hardly likes to keep that royal sausage of his reserved for one par-tick person—male or female—for too long. So I

would hardly classify his dude-on-dude conquests as regulars, let alone buds.

Dear Ted:
So Leo DiCaprio found himself a new Victoria's Secret model, Erin Heatherton. Shocker, right? But with his modelizing ways is it still such a good thing for

a young model's reputation to be linked to him? I know being Leo's girl brings attention (and jobs), but he is not the same he was a couple of years ago.

Plus I know guys like young women, but how long can he get away chasing underwear models who are way too young for him?

Dear In on the Secret:
I too want Leo to find something a little more serious, heck, maybe even with someone closer to him in age (as crazy as that'd may sound). There are models—

or just babes in general—in their 30s who are drop-dead gorge. As for helping or hurting his current Angel's career? Don't be surprised if you see Erin

acting soon.

Dear Ted:
If King Schlong and Nevis Divine were ever on the same movie set, do you think they would hook up? Or do each of these stars keep their same-sex shenanigans

to a select few less famous people?
—Fan of Both!

Dear King and Queen:
Probably not. Whereas Nev occasionally likes to dabble in the costar pool when looking for potential bedroom pals, King's dude-on-dude ventures are usually

inspired by the booze-fueled party crowd. But really, who knows?! Both guys are randy enough, that's for sure.

Dear Ted:
How come you're now so gung-ho on Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively being the real 'love story' deal, parfait couple, over such a short time but you were always

sarcastic on Blake and Leonardo DiCaprio actually liking each other all that while?

Dear Unrealistic:
Because I never thought Blake and Leo would last. He's too model-crazy and, in my humble opinion, hardly hunky enough for Blake. But Blake and Ryan? Methinks

this duo has a bit more staying power—if only for their extreme hotness as a couple."

FrenchGirl said...

if leo d is nominated for Oscar, we know he'll come with his mum (not his Victoria Secret model of the moment

bookworm said...

This is Leo. I've googled him and could not believe how much time he spends with BFF Lukas Haas. They are ALWAYS together. I think Leo is flaunting his glass closet and no one's even aware.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I found a copy of You'll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again, and I'm hooked! Thanks for the suggestion and keep them coming! I really think you should have a

Ted's Book Club monthly selection. Anyway, I was just thinking about King Schlong and was wondering if he got to his A-list status by the good old casting

couch method, specifically with a star director perhaps?

Dear Cast-Off:
Hmm, I like the idea of a book club. I'll have to brainstorm on that one with Team Truth. The King started in the biz on his own merit, Nic, but he may have

hopped in a bed or two in his day to take himself to the next level.

Dear Ted:
We all know Leonardo DiCaprio is desperate for an Oscar, but do you think he wants it enough to plan photo ops with Erin Heatherton? Some new pics of them in

L.A. are taken from such close proximity that they would have to know that the pap was there. My question is, does Leo really think a new romance will help

him bring home the statue? (P.S. I have my money on George Clooney.)

Dear Dating for an Oscar:
Look, E, Leo's into Erin—besides, dude can only go a couple months without a new model by his side. But Leo is known for his hunky status, and having a

little extra arm candy around Oscar season certainly can't hurt. Especially if he is up against über-sexy Mr. Clooney—who, by the way, I also loved in The


Dear Ted:
I have a question about Leonardo DiCaprio and Erin Heatherton. The guy is always into the same type of girl: very young blonde models who don't care about

his reputation and are up for the arm candy role. It seems like he changes them only to keep them under the age of 25 even though he is not getting any

younger. I feel sorry for the girls who still fall for him.

Dear Dating DiCaprio:
That wasn't exactly a question, was it, Betty? But you're right: Leo isn't looking to settle down, like, at all, so he keeps finding new models (and

sometimes actresses—here's looking at you Blake Lively) to fill his gal-pal quota. I'm with you though, B, I'd like him to land in a relaysh that seems like

it'll last for more than a week. I think it would actually make him sexier.

Dear Ted:
Is King Schlong letting his latest girlfriend get in the way of his Vicey behavior? Also, does he make it clear to his public girlfriends that he is sharing

his affections, or does he keep it all a big secret?

Dear Schlong-a-Long:
What girlfriend, Lo? ‘Cause King is so not in a serious relaysh right not. But as for the babes he does link up with, most are willing to turn a blind eye to

Schlong's wandering ways as long as they're the only babe photographed at his side.

Unknown said...

Is it my beloved hunka sex cake, Gerry Butler? Trying to get some press for the actually non-sucktastic Coriolanus?

Christiane said...

^Hihihi! The golf comment is directed at the size of his appendage, not his proclivities for male-on-male activities. I think if anything, Ted and the rest of the Towleroad crew wishes Fassbender was one of them boys ;-)

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Are Topher Hairy-Tuchus and King Schlong friends? Do they hook up with each other? In your so humble opinion, how hot would that hook up be? Thanks for the


Dear Friendly Vicers:
You're right in guessing Schlong and Topher are friends—in fact, they're very close. Tough call if they've ever hooked up, but I wouldn't be surprised, even

though Topher's much hotter than the King in my opinion."

Michelle said...

today's BB sealed it for me with him sayinf King is depressed (ie LEo not nommed for an oscar)

Sheba said...

today's BB sealed it for me with him sayinf King is depressed (ie LEo not nommed for an oscar)

While I'm sure king is leo, I doubd he's depressed. I saw pictures of him today of him being on holyday, with family and friends, having fun. Someone who is depressed doesn't do that. I know from personal experiences.

Unknown said...

I would be a little depressed if I had been nominated for as many awards and Oscars as Leo and had a stellar career from the time I was a kid like him and they NEVER gave me the award. Sorry, I just think it's time they gave him an Oscar. It's not like the Oscars are based totally on merit anyway.

Sheba said...

'I would be a little depressed if I had been nominated for as many awards and Oscars as Leo and had a stellar career from the time I was a kid like him and they NEVER gave me the award. Sorry, I just think it's time they gave him an Oscar. It's not like the Oscars are based totally on merit anyway.'

I would be a litlle sad too (not depressed). He should at least have won for what's eating gilbert grape. The best presentation of a mentale handicap person I have ever seen. My cousin is very autistic and it was like I was watching my cousin the whole movie.
But I think that everyone knows that the oscar most of the time goes to the people that campaigne the most and best. And he may choose oscarbait parts, he doesn't really campaigne. Either way I hope Gary Oldman wins the oscar instead of Clooney.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
How many Blind Vicers are amongst the Oscar nominees?

Dear Numbers Game:

Dear Ted:
What's happening with King Schlong? We haven't heard about him in a while...

Dear Nice Try:
Maybe that's because he's very depressed lately?"

"Dear Ted:
Why would King Schlong be depressed? Is it Vice related or career related?

Dear Vice Got Ya Down:
A little bit of both, babe, because with Schlong, his Vice and his career are always connected. But if I had to choose, I would say he's more upset career-wise, for now, although it's tough to tell."

Sheba said...

If king really is leo, than maybe ted realy should stop assuming. Because why would he be depressed over his vicey behaviour. His new girlfriend and his mother get along fine. Ted even wrote about it himself once he found out about those pictures. Ofcourse that was after he answered the questions and he stated that king is depressed. And once again I don't think he's depressed. Someone who is depressed doesn't go on holidays with friends and familie, they shut people out their life as much as possible.

Unknown said...

Sheba, I don't think Ted is saying necessarily that Leo is suffering from an episode of Major Depression, just that he's feeling "down" lately and "kinda depressed" not that he literally has clinical depression which Ted wouldn't know anyway.

Sheba said...

Miss Faye
That's what I mean about that ted needs stop asuming. Just because someone doesn't get a oscar nomination, does that mean that he's depressed. I've had a depression myself years ago and know a lot of other people who have had depressions. And I find it insulting whenever someone thinks that someone who is a little sad of dissapointed at times is depressed. Trust me their is a very huge difference. Whenever a person is depressed they keep shutting the people they love out of their life as much as possible and they don't go out much. Most of their time they just want to sleep and never leave their bed. A lot of people even stop working because of that. A depressing is serious, dangerous and can last for years.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I have a strong suspicion that blacklisting is still alive and kicking during awards season. I'm just not sure what is causing Leonardo DiCaprio to

experience the Paul Newman Syndrome (seven noms before he could kiss the bald man's head). Did Leo piss off someone with influence or is my conspiracy theory

a bunch of sour grapes?

Dear Where's The Love for Leo:
Even though Leo didn't receive any Oscar love this year, I wouldn't chalk it up to a conspiracy just yet. Thing is, J. Edgar just wasn't that good. In fact,

I found it downright boring. And while politics certainly exist in H'wood, I like to think the Academy cares enough to nominate Oscar-worthy material, which

sadly, J. Edgar was not."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What have my two favorite Blinds, Crotch Uh-Lastic and King Schlong, been up to? Oh, and is my new favorite hottie Chris Evans a Blind?

Dear Down and Out:
King is down—well, on the down low, that is (and even more so than ususal)—and Crotch is out…as in strung out. But at this point that's typical for him. His

Vice behavior these days is strictly of the nonsexy variety."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
First, Ryan Gosling was passed over for People's Sexiest Man Alive title; and now he's been completely snubbed by the Oscars. I hope he's taking it better

than Leo DiCaprio! On that note, I was wondering if Ryan and his gal-pal-of-the-moment, Eva Mendes, have been engaging in any Vicey behavior to ease his


Dear Gimme a Break:
Since when is non-stop, totally exhausting, sweat-pouring nookie a Vice? Ryan, not Leo, that is. And yes, he's taking it better."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Please can you give us any clues on Leo DiCaprio's Vice. Could he possibly be Jerry Rock-Butt? Oh and also, has anyone ever guessed Nevis Divine correctly? I

don't believe in the popular guess. Love from S.A.!

Dear Butt of the Blind:
Good guess, Mani, but Leo is not Mr. Rock-Butt. Jerr is a bit younger and fairly hotter than Leo these days. Plus, Jerry is committed, whereas Leonardo so

isn't. As for Nev, some guessers are definitely a lot warmer than others."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What do you make of Leonardo DiCaprio and Erin Heatherton? I personally saw him roaming around Australia with tons of women, while he was supposed to be

dating his latest model...Do you think he's an "open-relationship" type of guy?

Dear Bikini Babe:
I have been hearing quite a bit about this Sydney trip of Leo's (sans Erin). I can't say that he is an "open-relationship" type of guy, but he is a guy. He's

also definitely a statuesque-blonde type of guy. And the pattern holds true in this case. Rumor has it Leo had his eye on yet another leggy Goldilocks, so if

I were you, I'd quit worrying about any of them, because as soon as you're satisfied Leo's settled down he'll be dissatisfied."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Will King Schlong be at Cannes this year?

Dear Schlonging Down the Riviera:
He'll probably make an appearance, but trust, it won't be as big as his last."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I absolutely love your column. My new Weiner dog, who I named Oscar Meyer, does too. Anyway, I have a question about the ever-lovely Leonardo DiCaprio. The guy seems
to be a pretty legit actor. He's been in two of my favorite movies (Departed and Inception). Yet, he never really seems to get any awards. The closest he ever got to
the golden statue was The Aviator. It almost seems...personal. Please, tell me. Did our gorgeous guy piss anyone off who is taking his or her revenge by impacting his chances at getting an Oscar? Does he have bad timing? Love you tons!

Dear Remember J. Edgar?
Because that movie was awful—dreadfully boring and so desperately wanting to be Oscar fodder. Which, in my opinion, is one of Leo's problems. He needs to pick good movies, instead of movies he thinks Oscar voters will get all googly eyed over. That said, Mr. DiCaprio has two films coming up—The Great Gatsby and Django Unchained— that should entice the Academy and raise some serious eyebrows, respectively. His Oscar hopes aren't shattered yet. Just peep the newly released Great Gatsby trailer if you're still having doubts!

Dear Ted:
Seeing the Great Gatsby trailer (can't wait for the film!) has me thinking that it seems Leonardo DiCaprio is following in fellow A-lister George Clooney's footsteps: Good looks, respected career, short-lived relationships with models and other gorgeous women... Do you think Leo is so like George that he will remain a bachelor
always? Xoxo,

Dear Bachelor Boys:
Look, K, you might think Leo's all about copying Clooney's love life, but trust, what the dude desires more is Clooney's career. George is an Oscar winner, and we all
know how much Leo would love one of those little gold statues to call his own. As for his bachelor ways? If Leo does decide to settle down, it will be long before
Clooney, that's for certain, but I wouldn't expect either dude to give up their bachelor lifestyles."

Lyn said...

"Dear Ted:
What are King Schlong's chances of getting some Academy attention this awards season? Is he as desperate as ever?

Dear Take Two:
Better than last year, actually. Keep your fingers crossed for him—you know he will be."

Notice how he says 'take two'? Great Gatsby and Django Unchained are both contenders...

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What are King Schlong's chances of getting some Academy attention this awards season? Is he as desperate as ever?

Dear Take Two:
Better than last year, actually. Keep your fingers crossed for him—you know he will be."