Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Lainey - Not a happy day

New blind riddle from Lainey -

Not a happy day

It’s supposed to a happy day. Especially for a woman. Her wedding day recently was not a happy day. Unfortunately, she made it miserable, for herself and for everyone involved. And you make people miserable on a day that’s about celebration, you can’t really expect them not to talk sh-t about you, right?
She was raging all day. She was pissy about the flowers, she was pissy about the photos. She was so pissed she threatened to fire the florists and the photographers on the spot while they were shooting her in her wedding gown. It was the same with the wedding planner. Soon as she woke up that day, wedding day, she went nuclear on the wedding planner and started rearranging everything by herself. All her vendors were berated, the wedding planner was sobbing. Nothing was right that day. Not even her dress. She only wore it for an hour and then changed.
If you can’t help but be a hideous person on the day that’s supposed to be filled with love and joy… what does every other day look like? Is it too late to reconsider?


Top suspects:  Christina Ricci (based on Lainey hint)


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Lainey - Two unfaithful wives

New from Lainey -

Two unfaithful wives

The First Wife is still trying to figure out if she wants to be one. She and her husband have been through a lot the last few years, on both sides. It was before the trouble though when she had an affair with a colleague -- still above the line, but with a smaller spotlight, both compared to First Wife and his own wife who's just as famous too, and should be just as acclaimed. The affair was intense, so intense that First Wife wanted to end her marriage and he was going to end his marriage but then her husband needed her in crisis. So she helped him recover, and as soon as he healed, she fell apart. By the time she got it together, her moment with her lover had passed. He happily reconnected with his own wife (though she has no idea) while First Wife is struggling with what would have been.
As for the Second Wife – everyone’s been speculating about her infidelity recently but they might be focusing on the wrong target. The right target isn’t a billionaire but he’s a pretty successful player too, albeit on a smaller screen. Their involvement led to an award for her, and a divorce for him. She was attracted to him because “he’s the hot geeky type like her husband”. Both insist that they never moved past suggestive texting and heavy flirting and never ended up consummating their attraction. Bullsh-t. There was at least one night and that’s why she’s so freaked out about the takedown that’s been coming to her. She’d be happy if they stayed on the current scene they’re on so long as she doesn’t get busted for this one.
PS. Everyone mentioned here is a major celebrity.

Top suspects:
First Wife: Catherine Zeta-Jones (with Bart Feundlich)
Second Wife: Gwyneth Paltrow  (with Brad Falchuk)

Friday, October 25, 2013

Lainey - Threesome and juice

Oh this is just gross in too many ways...

Lainey - Threesome and juice

What young stud recently had a threesome with a mother and her daughter? Hopefully it was enjoyable for all three of them considering he’s been juicing his muscles. Do youthful hormones counteract the supposed dick shrinking effects of steroids? If he doesn’t stop, ironically he might have to start putting his shirt on. Bacne doesn’t look good on Instagram.

Update: Top suspect is Justin Bieber

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Lainey - The assistant at the border

New blind riddle from Lainey today -

The assistant at the border

This blind riddle is about a celebrity and his assistant, and what it might be like to work for a celebrity as an assistant. Some of the benefits? You get to be part of that culture and you’re surrounded by creativity – in this case, I guess – and you get to travel around the world. The downside? Sometimes, in travelling around the world, you’re asked to break the law. Not a big deal.
He flew to another country to start work on a new movie. His assistant came with him on the flight and he asked her to take his bags so he could save time. At customs they were curious as to why he didn’t have any luggage. And when he told them his belongings were with his assistant, they brought her in too. In his belongs – and remember she was the one transporting them – they found a few joints. Not a lot, and just for recreational use, and he certainly wasn’t dealing but you know the sh-t that can come down on your ass for taking drugs across a border, right? I don’t have to tell you this, right? They were detained for a couple of hours and the weed was confiscated, but in the end, they were released without drama, without incident. So they were lucky, or privileged, I can’t decide.
But the point is, that’s what’s asked of you as a celebrity assistant. If he wants you to carry his marijuana on your person, knowing that if you get busted, that could totally f-ck up your status, well, you do it anyway. Because you’re the subordinate and powerful and also because you’re so used to the special treatment he receives, you think it might extend to you. In this case, happily for her, it did. But it’s still a risk you have to be willing to take.
And as for the celebrity? I know people who feel bad just asking me for a ride to work, even though it’s on my way. They don’t want to be an inconvenience. When you’re famous? When you’re famous, sometimes you don’t even feel bad to ask an employee to hold your dope in violation of international law.

Update - 
 

Monday, September 30, 2013

Lainey - Doing it through the underwear hole

New Lainey riddle today -

Doing it through the underwear hole

Inexplicably, he’s been linked to some really hot, pretty famous women, even though he’s not exactly hot and he behaves, at least artistically, like a douchebag. What’s the attraction? Certainly not his sex moves. This won’t solve the mystery either.
When it’s time to f-ck, he doesn’t like doing it at home. Which is weird because, well, he’s really weird about germs and touching. And you’d think his house would be cleaner than a hotel, right? So he and whoever he’s about to do it with are at the hotel. They’re about to do it. Only he won’t take his clothes off. Instead, he’ll always keep his underwear on, looping his dick through the boxer hole so as to minimise as much skin-on-skin contact as possible.
Maybe that’s why it never lasts?

Update:

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Lainey - She lost the cover

New Lainey blind riddle from Sept 5 -

She lost the cover

It’s an opportunity that’s been withheld from some of the most famous women in the world. It’s considered a major honour – to make the cover, THAT cover, a cover her predecessors had achieved and one that was being offered to her just as she was moving forward with the next stage in her career. It was to be a big deal.
The photo shoot happened. Everyone was happy with the pictures.
And then, well, she did her thing. She did her thing, for several minutes she did her thing, and the world gasped and they gasped and now those pictures, they might not be on the cover anymore.
They’ve told her that they are reconsidering her cover but that she’ll still show up in the pages, just not on the front page.
For prestige, this is definitely a setback. But for sales? And notoriety? And general headline-worthiness? There haven’t been any losses. It…just might be a couple of years before they ask her again. 

Top suspect: Miley Cyrus

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Lainey - Big super secret hookup

New Lainey riddle today:

Big super secret hookup


There’s a reason she recently decided to flaunt her brand new relationship so publicly. Suddenly she’d found true love behind the scenes? And they were telling magazines about it? And getting papped on holiday in Europe? It was because she was sending a message.
To the major Hollywood player with whom she’d been having an affair for 6 months. Only, at the time, he had a girlfriend. They were dealing with each other undercover. She would travel to see him while he was shooting on location overseas. No one, none of us, picked up on the fact that she showed up in the same city. He was sleeping with both the official girlfriend and the side job and telling the side job that he’d break up with the official one and make her the bonafide but, really, the side job, to him, was just a good f-ck and not a proper escort at the kinds of functions he usually needs an escort for. She continued to pressure him though and when he refused her demands, she showed up with a new man, jammed it in his face – and ours – and very shortly afterwards, he formally ended it with his gf, with a generous send-off.
Now? Impasse. She’s enjoying her summer hookup. And he’s all like, ok, I’m available, you can come to me, or don’t. It’s not like he can’t find a replacement, like, right away. Any woman becomes an instant star as soon as he takes her out. Given that she’s already a star, on a smaller scale, their reveal, should they figure out their situation, would be great for gossip though it could overshadow his work. And he has a lot of it coming up.

Top suspects: George Clooney and Eva Longoria

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

NY Post - Just Asking 6.10.13

New York Post, Just Asking

Which married star is cheating on his wife with every hot young girl he can get his hands on? At a recent boutique opening, he was getting frisky with a beautiful assistant, asking her to join him in the bathroom. But her dad threatened to sue, alleging he had molested his daughter, and it was all captured on CCTV. The star had enough money to make the angry dad go away quietly . . . 
WHICH top media executive accidentally butt-dialed a colleague and left a voice mail of himself booking a hooker for the night while on a business trip? The voice mail has made its rounds around the office . . . 
WHICH athlete begged a gal pal to come over one afternoon to have sex, and then asked her to find another girl so that they could have a threesome? 

Update:

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Lainey-What he does in his room

Lainey riddle from yesterday, May 31-


What he does in his room



After a series of sh-tty relationships, she thought she’d finally found the one. He says the right things, he wants to be with her all the time, he isn’t embarrassed to be seen with her. And he’s not motivated to do much other than to be with her. Life is not particularly challenging for either of them...but every man needs his down time. Or, in his case, his down down time.
What does he do with his down, down time?
Not sure...exactly.
But you can smell it. You can always smell it from his office. So there’s one blend for when he needs to relax and then something else when he needs a hit of excitement. Which might explain why there are small mirrors on his desk with powdery white residue. Do they do it together? Surely not now, in her condition. But maybe later for a shortcut to skinny.

Top suspect: Jessica Simpson

Friday, May 17, 2013

Lainey - Deal with the paps

New Lainey riddle -

Deal with the paps

She hates the paps, and she’s been burned by the paps. So now she’s dealing with the paps and is working exclusively with one agency, agreeing to give them photos on a regular basis. The agreement started several months ago when she approached one agency in exchange for information on a paparazzo working for another agency. She wanted names, plates, any details available, presumably in hopes of either legal retribution, if possible, and illegal retribution, if necessary. Very gangster.
The only problem with making this kind of arrangement is that you have to deliver. And if you don’t deliver as often as the paps want, and on the kind of photos that are lucrative, they’ll take what they can get, show up when they’re not supposed to, and that compromises the control she was attempting to secure in the first place. Very Faustian.

Top suspect: January Jones

Friday, May 3, 2013

Lainey - Nanny Diaries

New Lainey riddle today May 3 -

Nanny Diaries

No one wants to work with Hollywood’s most difficult mother. She now has a reputation among child care agencies for being the most unpopular celebrity nanny employer and many now only send to her the nannies on their staff who specialise in dealing with mega bitch moms.
She is surprisingly less organised than you would think, often requesting services with no lead time and expecting to be offered priority treatment. When the nanny arrives, she often won’t speak to the person directly, communicating via her assistant, and often implying that the person isn’t attractive enough, and because of this, may or may not sell her out. Because only ugly people compromise confidentiality, I guess?
She confiscates cell phones. She also demands to go through the nanny’s private messages. After a dinner party once, when she and her friends were particularly mouthy, backstabbing several prominent actors and actresses, she demanded to search the nanny who had stayed late -- without prior notice -- so as to make sure she wasn’t bugged and threatened legal action for no reason. Speaking of working hours, she has been known to require extra time but isn’t willing to pay for it, rationalising her request by blaming the person for an imaginary offensive -- like missing diapers or a bent branch/stem in the garden. Ie. “I notice that the whatever bush over there looks a little trampled. You weren’t careful enough. You are staying an extra two hours.”
She is known to be verbally abusive and impatient. She once watched a nanny pick up spilled baby food all over the floor while tapping her hand on the counter and criticising the person’s physique and intellect as the reason for why it was taking so long. Many nannies in LA, hearing horror stories from their peers, have turned potential work placements with her because they don’t want to bother with the drama.
Not Jennifer Garner.

Update: Apparently Lainey revealed this was Reese Witherspoon at the Smut Soiree

Monday, March 25, 2013

NFL player coming out?

It's another one of these.  I saw this article today written by The Sports Xchange that popped up on yahoo.  There's apparently an NFL player who is considering coming out.

Report: Gay NFL player considering coming out

A current NFL player who is gay is seriously considering coming out publicly in the next few months with the intention of continuing his football career after making the announcement, CBSSports.com's Mike Freeman reported.
The player in question was not named by Freeman, who was not aware of the player's identity himself. However, if the player does announce publicly that he is gay, it would be a milestone event in American pro sports. There has never been an active openly gay player in a major American team sport. The player's concern, according to the report, is not how his news would be received in the locker room. His concern is the possible harm he might suffer from homophobic fans. "I honestly think the players of the NFL have been ready for an openly gay player for quite some time now," Scott Fujita, a free agent linebacker, told CBSSports.com. "Trust me, the coming out of a player would create much bigger waves outside the locker room than inside. The way I've seen the conversation around LGBT issues evolve, especially in the past few years, has been encouraging. Guys are more accepting than they used to be. Even those who raise personal objections to homosexuality, some of whom are good friends of mine, would still be able to coexist and accept a gay teammate." 

It's a shame that people in sports are still homophobic.  Why question his "intention of continuing his football career after making the announcement"?   As if he should retire for some reason?  I really hope this player comes out if this is true. It's time for the professional athletes to catch up with the rest of the world.

Top suspect as of 5/3/13: possibly Jason Collins of the NBA

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Lainey - Doing it to get her back

New Lainey riddle today -

Doing it to get her back

We were all a little sad, I think, when it was confirmed that they’d broken up. No one sadder than him. But she left him because of his drinking. It was excessive, and with the experience of her last relationship, she saw the signs and opted for self-preservation. In addition to his relationship with alcohol though, he also had an unconventional relationship with sex. Think...Michael Fassbender in Shame. Along those lines. Though he was faithful to her, totally, there are addiction issues he clearly has to address. And he’s doing that now, going to meetings, reaching out to another celebrity in recovery with whom he’s worked, as some of their issues are quite similar. He’s almost a month sober now and, yes, he’s doing it, in part, to get her back which... well... they know that’s not the way, don’t they? A few people close to him don’t think he’s really taking it seriously if he hasn’t committed to rehab. And she can see that too. For her, this is permanent, even though he doesn’t seem to be able to accept it.

Top suspects: Michelle Williams, Jason Segel

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Lainey - Mother Issues

New Lainey riddle today -

Mother Issues

She’s a mega-star who started young and seemed to not be affected by the child star curse. Seemed to be. But eventually, that sh-t will find you, even on a delay.
It’s the mother. Though the parents were previously thought to be harmless... the mother now appears to be going full Dina Lohan. The mother has been hitting her up for cash for a while now, the better part of a year. To support her own projects, resurrect her own failed dreams, and her new relationship -- so essentially she’s bankrolling her ma’s midlife crisis. The daughter can afford it, certainly, and if it was just the money, it wouldn’t be getting out, but now she’s being asked by her mother to leverage her own fame and influence for industry contacts and connections. Since she can’t get a meeting on her own, she’s been namechecking her daughter to get in the door, and when that doesn’t work, she’s been pressuring her daughter to step in on her behalf, jeopardising her daughter’s reputation. No matter how hot you are, you don’t want to be known as the girl with That Mother. It’s becoming a concern for the daughter’s management team, as they worry that her ma’s increasingly aggressive famewhoring will undo their own moves in advancing the young star’s career. As you can imagine, it’s a delicate, uncomfortable situation. She is loyal and protective to and of her family. But she cannot deny that her mother may be compromising her professionally and is torn about whether or not to indulge her mother’s demands or look out for herself instead. She’s stressed, and while that doesn’t excuse her mistakes, it does provide some insight about some of her behaviour.
By the way, her boyfriend has been very supportive through all of this, certainly her most reliable source of strength.

This is a spin-off from a small riddle in her shout-out section from yesterday, 3/12:

And for Veronique from your sister Justine -- Happy Birthday...with a blind? A young mega-star’s mother is turning into somewhat of a Dina Lohan, hitting her up not only for cash but for contacts. Mom has been begging her daughter to set up meetings for her -- industry connections to finance her upcoming projects. Her famous child is becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the struggle, especially since her management team has vehemently against it. Some of her handlers are worried mom’s issues might present challenges for her own career. 


Top suspect: Kristen Stewart

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Lainey - Cold Young feet?

New riddle from Lainey Tuesday 2/26...

Cold Young Feet?

At a pre-Oscar party this weekend...
He’s young, super hot, and engaged. To someone also young, also hot, and arguably more famous, for now. But she wasn’t with him. Which is why he could focus all his attention on someone else -- a beautiful girl made famous by a franchise who is growing out her hair while his fiancée currently prefers it the opposite way.
They were flirting for a long, long time. All he wanted to do was talk to her. And laugh with her. And it was just the two of them until almost the end of the night. They were close to the last ones to leave. Am told “he seemed waayyyy into her”, so much so that if “(his fiancée) was there, she would not have been happy about it. But he probably wouldn’t have been like that if she was there anyway”.
Better that they figure this out now though and not after the wedding. They say it’ll be a long engagement. If this is how it’s going down though, the engagement might be longer than the marriage. They’re just so young.
PS. NOT January Jones.


Top suspects: Liam Hemsworth, Emma Watson (fiance Miley Cyrus)


Update 3/5 - Lainey has revealed this riddle here, and here, and we were correct.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Lainey - Exes and Wives

And another Lainey riddle from yesterday - Last but not least, here's #3 out of 3 from Dec 31:


Exes and Wives

Just some personality and colour I thought you might enjoy...
Comeback Kid only dates famous girls. When he and Golden were together, he stepped out on her twice that she knows of: once with a stripper and the other with Pigtails. But even though it’s been years, and she’s well moved on, Golden still has a hard time hearing Pigtails’ music. Her trainer made the mistake of playing it once when they were working out. She demanded that it be turned off immediately and never again while she’s in studio.
While Golden can’t let go of her resentment, Comeback’s wife, the PM, can’t help it either. People assume that it’s his other, more curvier ex, who makes her crazy but homemaker to homemaker, it’s actually Golden who she can’t stand, and has been overheard disparaging, unimpressed with her skills and her ideas, rolling her eyes when her name comes up.


Top suspects
Comeback Kid - Ben Affleck
Golden - Gwyneth Paltrow
Pigtails -  Britney Spears
The PM - Jennifer Garner
Curvier Ex - Jennifer Lopez

Lainey - He wants, she doesn't

Catching up on yesterday's Lainey riddles - Here is 2 out of 3 from Dec 31:

He wants, she doesn't

The assumption: that in any discussion about marriage and babies, she’s the one who wants it and would have his immediately if only he’d ask. But he’s the one who wants, or at least is leaning more towards having kids, than she is. HE is the one who wants to start a family with HER. She’s resistant because of concerns about her past health, worried about what that would mean for both her, and her future children. He’s not pressing but they’ve been seeing specialists together, looking into different options, hoping to perhaps be parents within two years, even though no one seems to (want to) believe they can make it that long.
update- Lainey has revealed this to be Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes.
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