Friday, May 3, 2013

Lainey - Nanny Diaries

New Lainey riddle today May 3 -

Nanny Diaries

No one wants to work with Hollywood’s most difficult mother. She now has a reputation among child care agencies for being the most unpopular celebrity nanny employer and many now only send to her the nannies on their staff who specialise in dealing with mega bitch moms.
She is surprisingly less organised than you would think, often requesting services with no lead time and expecting to be offered priority treatment. When the nanny arrives, she often won’t speak to the person directly, communicating via her assistant, and often implying that the person isn’t attractive enough, and because of this, may or may not sell her out. Because only ugly people compromise confidentiality, I guess?
She confiscates cell phones. She also demands to go through the nanny’s private messages. After a dinner party once, when she and her friends were particularly mouthy, backstabbing several prominent actors and actresses, she demanded to search the nanny who had stayed late -- without prior notice -- so as to make sure she wasn’t bugged and threatened legal action for no reason. Speaking of working hours, she has been known to require extra time but isn’t willing to pay for it, rationalising her request by blaming the person for an imaginary offensive -- like missing diapers or a bent branch/stem in the garden. Ie. “I notice that the whatever bush over there looks a little trampled. You weren’t careful enough. You are staying an extra two hours.”
She is known to be verbally abusive and impatient. She once watched a nanny pick up spilled baby food all over the floor while tapping her hand on the counter and criticising the person’s physique and intellect as the reason for why it was taking so long. Many nannies in LA, hearing horror stories from their peers, have turned potential work placements with her because they don’t want to bother with the drama.
Not Jennifer Garner.

Update: Apparently Lainey revealed this was Reese Witherspoon at the Smut Soiree

24 comments:

blurry vice said...

Well, after just watching the Reese arrest video, I can only picture her for this right now. :)

MM said...

I was trying to think of a mom living in Hollywood who tries to come off as organized, and the only one I could think of was Jessica Alba since she's got her side business related to kids. But Reese is a great guess, and I can totally believe she's capable of treating her nannies like this.

mo said...

Could be Reese. I would believe it based on things we've all heard in the past (see other BVs ... Reese = Shafty in Ted's column). She's extremely bossy. Jessica Alba is a good guess too. Hmmm, and what about Angelina Jolie? Posh Spice Beckam?

C said...

Courteney Cox?

"Surprisingly less organized" = her super Type A character on Friends. It always seemed like the role wasn't a stretch for her ...

And she later references the employer and her "friends" at a dinner party.

If not Courteney, I'd say probably Reese W.

Cristina said...

Reese. "Surprising less organized than you would think"? Seems like a nod to her supposed Type A personality.

Dana said...

I think it's Reese - this post from Lainey on April 23 seems to point to it, too (since she uses JG as a not):

Dear Gossips,

You know who looks really, REALLY good right now?

Jennifer Garner.

Jennifer Garner is now the top answer to the question: who’s the celebrity LEAST likely to be arrested, right? Thanks, Reese Witherspoon.

Jennifer said...

I can't imagine it being Victoria Beckham. She doesn't strike me as the type. Now Reese? Yeah, I can totally see her being this way.

Lila said...

I'm going with Reese for a number of reasons.

Lainey sits on gossip and brings it out when it is safe and most relevant. Everyone is ragging on Reese right now, so it is a safe time to whip this out. Reese who used to be essentially untouchable.

This SO fits with some of the other insider gossip I've heard about how Reese treats staff.

Reese has a kid in diapers/baby food (Courtney Cox doesn't fit that at all).

Reese and Jennifer Garner are friends, or at least they were when they were next door neighbors.

iris-impossible said...

Also, Reece's production company is called Type A, hence the "surprisingly unorganized."

Unknown said...

Heidi Klum?

C said...

I agree that the clues all fit for Reese, but it just seems like that would be WAYYY obvious, given that's she's been in the news constantly and Lainey has been extremely critical of her arrest. Just because it mentions diapers doesn't mean the person has to have an infant right now ... you said yourself Lainey sits on gossip.

Lauren said...

Reese Witherspoon.

For years now Lainey has had an undercurrent of disapproval when covering Reese but it's always been really subtle, like calling her out on the incessant papping and scheming.

Lainey's probably glad for the opportunity to let this one rip! And now is the window to get it out before Reese becomes America's Sweetheart again.

OH plus Lainey totally has an insider source with Jake Gyllenhaal's camp. Don't you just know Jake's people are happy to help a little karma along? Remember how Shafterella dumped Toothy without warning, mid-contract, and right before his big Prince of Persia flop came out?

I wouldn't be surprised if there have been a lot of loose lips from other people's publicists offering up Reese stories these past few weeks, just for kicks.

stupikitty said...

Heidi Klum confiscates cellphones, too. Her?

Tammy said...

Sharon Stone

Unknown said...

Did anyone see the mini-blind at the end of Lainey's May 15 Smutty Shout-Out section?

"And for Claire who has a bum knee -- I'm sorry about what happened and while I can't make up a story to get you through your horrible week, I can tell you that there's a girl who's pregnant and even though she says that her steady is the father, she's really not sure it's not one of her co-stars, who sleeps with almost all their colleagues and with whom she used to bootycall on the regular. Depends on what the mouth looks like when the baby comes. Does that help a little?"

Michelle said...

@Unknown - the Smutty shout out riddle is totally Heather Morris with Chord Overstreet. His nickname on the show is Trouty Mouth

melina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tamara said...

Not sure why, but the "Not Jennifer Garner" made me immediately think of Jennifer Lopez, just for the Ben thing.

rin cam said...

Jennifer Lopez all the way.

Kellie Allen said...

Lainey confirmed Reese at a Smut Soiree.

http://saskatoonsoapbox.blogspot.ca/2013/06/smutt-soiree.html

Danielle Williams said...

"Not Jennifer Garner" it's Jennifer Lopez. I can totally see her acting like this. Also there was a story about her not speaking to hotel staff, they had to speak to her assistant.

FrenchGirl said...

Reese and her daughter were at Paris (France) and the staff of their hotel had good memories of them (good tips,clean suit,not difficult peoples) but maybe her post-pregnancy period was difficult

Henry Barnill said...

And you know this how?

Henry Barnill said...

And you know this how?

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