Lainey - Too "upper class" for talk

New Lainey riddle - 

Too "upper class" for talk

For a year now she’s been pitching a panel-style talk show about love and marriage, similar to The View or The Talk, partnering with popular parent and women’s lifestyle websites. Because of her high profile, she wasn’t expected to show up every day but often enough, like a few times a month, so that the audience would know that it was hers – the Barbara Walters of the group, you could say. The other women included a newlywed, a model-actress-mom in her 40s, a single, divorced woman in her 40s, and a woman in her early 60s.
Would you believe, though, that even with her popularity with the MiniVan Majority, no one was interested. The show was rejected, repeatedly, while other similar shows, featuring other personalities, got picked up, like Tyra Banks’s FABLife. The reason? Too “upper class”.
Interestingly enough, this happened before everything blew up. And now that it’s all blown up, and she has everyone’s sympathy, the show still isn’t getting any play…even though she could be an expert at talking about love and marriage right now. But is she willing to go there? It might change if she’s willing to talk about it. Would she talk about it? On camera? Probably not. Not for the sake of the children. But that doesn’t mean it’s not leverage – not only from a business perspective but when dealing with that idiot too.

Top suspect: Jennifer Garner

Lainey - His biggest problem

New Lainey riddle:

His biggest problem

There were a lot of women. Oklahoma was a few years ago. But Oklahoma was certainly not the one who was the most recent, although the most recent, professional turned personal, that I know of at least, is also not that recognisable, for now. She’s waiting for her moment.
Still, these affairs were not the biggest problem. The biggest problem is one he developed on the set of his most recent project. It started with pills and an injury a few years ago. Somehow he was able to function through that. Recently though he was shooting on location. He was a mess. He would go missing overnight. Not the prescription pills now but a hard drug. A very dangerous one. Not the party kind but the kind that brings you down, often alone, to escape. One that not too long ago took the life of a major, major talent. So it’s not the lovers that made him unsuitable for home. This is why she didn’t trust him at home. This is why she had to shake him up. But it’s not like he can get help openly. Not now, when so much is riding on him, with so much coming up. And that’s always been how Hollywood works. Your health is not the priority when there’s a multi-million dollar marketing strategy in place and so many stories to tell. So, sure, he has a support system, a lot of people out there looking out for him. But… is that the right objective?

Top suspect: Ben Affleck

Lainey - Has She Had Enough Yet?

New Lainey riddle today...

Has She Had Enough Yet?

You remember when he turned up in a small, out-of-the-way-of-Hollywood town not too long ago, for no apparent reason? He was trying to go undercover. Because it turns out, he was there with a woman…a very attractive woman… who is not his wife. They were seen holding hands at the hotel. But can you ever really hide? No. Not even out of the country. Not even by the sea. He ended up getting busted by fans and the local media got a hold of it. And the thing is, he told his wife that he was somewhere else. He and his companion have been having an affair for some time.
Again?
Of course it’s not the first time. He thought it wouldn’t get back to her that time in Oklahoma and that didn’t work out for him either. His wife forgave him then, as she always does, patiently supporting him as he works through his issues and compulsions. But he can’t help himself. When things are going well, he will always find a way to f-ck himself up. And now, finally, she may have had enough. Has she had enough yet? It isn’t instant forgiveness. Then again, he’s not exactly working hard to put it back together either. The temptations are too hard to resist. Last time he set his reputation on fire though, it was easier to forgive. And she helped him rehabilitate his image. Could he come back from betraying the perfect wife, walking out on a perfect home, and breaking up the perfect family?

Update: Revealed to be Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner

Lainey- His ups and downs

From Lainey March 10 -

His Ups and Downs

It’s hard to stay up. Every time he’s gone up, he’s always come back down. It was thought that that was only because he was young. And now, with children and a devoted wife, he was supposed to be able to hold it together. So far, sure, but just barely.

There were signs before Christmas but during the holidays, he injured his back on a ski trip. This was not widely disclosed and kept out of the press. Painkillers were prescribed. The big movie was pushed back. Cocktails were consumed in combination at events. No one remembers he actually went to rehab several years ago. Still, so far, he’s functioning. And things are great with his wife. She really tries to take care of him but she’s not always with him. When he’s out on his own, it gets messy. There have been times lately where he’s been so drunk, he’s the dude passed out on the couch when everyone else has gone home. Either that or he’s the dude who’s all over the tall, attractive model type at the Oscar party that his wife decided to skip. Oh yeah, that happened. It keeps happening. They were talking nose to nose. He gave her the full charm. A “later on” was definitely implied, while everyone around him just shrugged. Because it’s not the first time and it’s not the last time and it’s the secret they’re all expected to keep. Not because he doesn’t love the mother of his children, because he does, he really, really does. But between the pills and the alcohol, he’s losing control of that side of himself that’s been held in check for too long.

Top suspect: Ben Affleck
Update: Lainey has revealed this to be about Ben Affleck.

Lainey- Old Grudges

From Lainey Feb 19 - 

Old Grudges

Remember his big snub?
Turns out it had something to do with his perfect wife. You wouldn't think anyone could hold anything against her -- the ideal mother, the supportive spouse -- but this goes back years, when she was a candidate for a set-up. A very powerful man set her up with a single man who needed a girlfriend. A professional meeting turned into him knowing everything about her -- too much about her -- and a very strange gift: wildlife. She ran the f-ck away and didn't look back, offending the major Hollywood player who tried to broker the romance. He was so disappointed in her that he put out the word -- he won't work with her anymore. And eventually, when it came for her now-husband to rise to acclaim, and against his own project no less, he called in every contact he could to make sure that the husband's name wasn't included, though in the end, even he couldn't control the outcome.

Top suspects: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Tom Cruise

Lainey - Exes and Wives

And another Lainey riddle from yesterday - Last but not least, here's #3 out of 3 from Dec 31:

Exes and Wives

Just some personality and colour I thought you might enjoy...
Comeback Kid only dates famous girls. When he and Golden were together, he stepped out on her twice that she knows of: once with a stripper and the other with Pigtails. But even though it’s been years, and she’s well moved on, Golden still has a hard time hearing Pigtails’ music. Her trainer made the mistake of playing it once when they were working out. She demanded that it be turned off immediately and never again while she’s in studio.
While Golden can’t let go of her resentment, Comeback’s wife, the PM, can’t help it either. People assume that it’s his other, more curvier ex, who makes her crazy but homemaker to homemaker, it’s actually Golden who she can’t stand, and has been overheard disparaging, unimpressed with her skills and her ideas, rolling her eyes when her name comes up.

Top suspects: 
Comeback Kid - Ben Affleck
Golden - Gwyneth Paltrow
Pigtails -  Britney Spears
The PM - Jennifer Garner
Curvier Ex - Jennifer Lopez

Lainey- She learns for him, will not leave him

She learns for him, will not leave him


So much speculation and it's been going on for years that she will finally leave him because he won't, ever, change. But do you know the lengths she went through to get him, and keep him? Did you know she enrolled in classes at university, not because she was interested for herself, but because she wanted to be able to talk to him about...things? She wanted to be able to keep up. She wanted HIM to know/believe/think she could keep up. She worships his brain. She wanted to make sure that he was finding her brain adequately stimulating.


They say that he's been trying to get out of there. He hasn't tried. There has been no attempt. It's kinda futile. First because, even if he were to want to bail, everyone in his life would be against it, and has warned him of the consequences, but also because she has told him straight up, on several occasions, "I will never leave you". This one doesn't get enough credit for her tenacity.

Top suspect: Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck (revealed at smut soiree)

Vintage BV - Glistening Gunther, Sally Ridden

This one was great. I think everyone suspected the same person for this. See bottom...

One Four-Footed Blind Vice - April 2005

This is a good one. Sorry, no sex acts to speak of, but the big-star shenanigans you're about to read are orgasmic and de-lish in my baddie book.

Glistening Gunther, like Naughty Nina last week, happens to be one of my faves. He's a more than decent actor (quite unlike N2), but Gunther's personal life leaves much to be desired. Like his ability--or lack thereof--to seduce women.

Sally Ridden is as red hot as they come, career-wise. Man-wise, it's a diff story but not really the point of this Blind tale. So, G.G. is in one of his moods, which means he thinks he's actually straight for a day. He calls up S.R., asks for a date.

She declines. He calls again--at 3 in the ayem. Dude, not even straight guys get it at that hour, what the hell are you thinkin'? So, Glistening then ups the anti-courting ante and sends, to Sally's latest movie set, exotic creatures she's supposed to get a kick out of feeding. Uh, Gunth, not really Sally's appetite--to say the least.

Sal was beside herself with being "creeped out," she told one of her closest girlfriends, who--thank heavens--saw fit to repeat it to moi.

Earth to G-squared: Quit the imitation-het stuff, it doesn't work. Women are not circus animals. And you're not Siegfried & Roy (yet).

And it ain't: Lucy Liu/Owen Wilson, Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt, Penelope Cruz/Matthew McConaughey

Also eliminated - Billy Bob Thornton,

Top guesses: Tom Cruise for Glistening Gunther, Jennifer Garner or Scarlett Johannson as Sally Ridden.