One Four-Footed Blind Vice - April 2005
This is a good one. Sorry, no sex acts to speak of, but the big-star shenanigans you're about to read are orgasmic and de-lish in my baddie book.
Glistening Gunther, like Naughty Nina last week, happens to be one of my faves. He's a more than decent actor (quite unlike N2), but Gunther's personal life leaves much to be desired. Like his ability--or lack thereof--to seduce women.
Sally Ridden is as red hot as they come, career-wise. Man-wise, it's a diff story but not really the point of this Blind tale. So, G.G. is in one of his moods, which means he thinks he's actually straight for a day. He calls up S.R., asks for a date.
She declines. He calls again--at 3 in the ayem. Dude, not even straight guys get it at that hour, what the hell are you thinkin'? So, Glistening then ups the anti-courting ante and sends, to Sally's latest movie set, exotic creatures she's supposed to get a kick out of feeding. Uh, Gunth, not really Sally's appetite--to say the least.
Sal was beside herself with being "creeped out," she told one of her closest girlfriends, who--thank heavens--saw fit to repeat it to moi.
Earth to G-squared: Quit the imitation-het stuff, it doesn't work. Women are not circus animals. And you're not Siegfried & Roy (yet).
And it ain't: Lucy Liu/Owen Wilson, Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt, Penelope Cruz/Matthew McConaughey
Also eliminated - Billy Bob Thornton,
Top guesses: Tom Cruise for Glistening Gunther, Jennifer Garner or Scarlett Johannson as Sally Ridden.