Monday, December 21, 2009

Lainey - No one will tell him he sucks

Lainey's new riddle today -


No one will tell him he sucks

There’s a dirtier riddle coming later in the week but here’s an easy quickie for now.

He wants this so badly, to be taken seriously as an actor. But on the set of his new movie, everyone is baffled. By how terrible he is. Like laughably terrible. The worst timing, the most awkward line reads, cheesy expressions… at this point it’s become a fun work-time activity: watch him get through a scene, feel the fontrum for him while he sucks it so hard so obliviously, giggle your tits off later because he walks around thinking he is the sweetest sh-t ever.

There’s an ego involved, of course, and he actually thinks he’s doing a good job, that he is gifted in this discipline too. Please. He is not gifted. And his lack of gifts in this respect could cost the entire production. The weakest link drags it all down. Which is why people are mystified that the director has not bothered to fix it. Like suggesting more classes, like pushing his coach, like replacing him with someone who can actually do it? None of the above. Word is, he’ll make the corrections in post by greatly reducing the role. Unless there’s a miracle and suddenly Cate Blanchett comes out of his ass to save the day. Not likely.

Update 12/23 - Lainey has eliminated Robert Pattinson.

Our top suspect: Justin Timberlake

28 comments:

blurry vice said...

Sounds like Justin Timberlake to me.

Anonymous said...

Has to be Justin Timberlake. Only other person I can think of is 50 cent.

Anonymous said...

You guys are so good at this. Is Timberlake even doing anything right now? First person that popped in my head was Robert Pattinson. He's quite terrible. I know he can't be replaced in the Sparkly vampire series, but other projects?

Anonymous said...

JT is filming "the social network" about the founders of facebook.

blurry vice said...

BTW, doesn't sounds like rob pattinson,, or any other actor for that matter.
This is someone who does something ELSE primarily besides acting who wants badly to be taken seriously as an actor. So a musician or something.

Anonymous said...

OK-thanks. I told you all you were good at this. Quick too! I can definately see JT having the huge ego.

Brittany said...

I think this is hilarious. But I wonder how the director would reduce his role since he is the lead. Doesn't matter the movie will bomb/ go straight-to-dvd anyways.

Anonymous said...

My first thought goes to Zac Efron. Any thoughts?

duffgrl said...

Totally Timberdork. Lainey has talked about him sucking but that his ego is huge and he thinks he is great etc...and yes-he is filming that facebook movie w/ the kid from Adventureland, who I like. Personally that actor (jesse Eisenberg?)by the way has better chemistry w/ KStew than RPatz does.

ErinL said...

LOL! JT should stick to his day job.

Anonymous said...

I think it's JT, not 50 Cent.

I can't picture 50c doing cheesy looks or having that much of an ego, to be honest.

Christian said...

First person who came to mind when I read this was Ashton Kutcher. Is he working on anything right now besides camera commercials?

Anonymous said...

I dont know.. JT is a pretty good actor, at least when he has acted.. he was pretty good in that one movie about the abducted kid, his SNL skits.. oh well, just a thought.

Roger said...

Lainey says it's NOT JT, 50 or Josh Groben (??). What about MIKE MYERS????

Brittany said...

Roger thats a different blind. JT was not eliminated.

Anonymous said...

JT does ok at SNL because of those "cheesy expressions" which they list in this blind. Just because someone can do silly sketch comedy does not make them a good actor. Definitely JT.

Anonymous said...

Lainey's riddle says specifically that it is not JY or 50 cent or Josh Groban. I am thinking Kanye or P. Diddy.

Anonymous said...

Thats a different Blind she eliminates JT 50 and Josh Groban.

pomme said...

JT because Lainey hates him,he wants to be taken seriously as an actor(love guru?!)

Anonymous said...

Tranny Ego Blow is not Eminem. He sucks is not Robert Pattinson

Anonymous said...

Comedy skits and dramatic acting are two different ball games.

Gabby said...

I think it's Ryan Reynolds. Just a thought.
Justin Timberlake has already kind of proven himself as an actor...sort of. Either way, I don't think it's him.

blurry vice said...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Justin_Timberlake_and_Mila_Kunis
_shoot_Friends_With_Benefits_
outside_in_New_York_July_2010_
20july10.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

- Lainey talking about Justin's crappy acting

blurry vice said...

and again -

http://www.laineygossip.com/Justin_Timberlake_directs_
commercial_for_his_own_tequila_
and_offered_part_in_Im_Mortal_
28july10.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

blurry vice said...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Justin_Timberlake_to_present_at_VMAs_with_Jesse_Eisenberg_and_Andrew_Garfield_27aug10.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

blurry vice said...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Dumb_Oscar_speculation_for_Justin_Timberlake_for_The_Social_Network_15sept10.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

blurry vice said...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Justin_Timberlake_promotes_The_Social_Network_singing_30sept10.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

blurry vice said...

Lainey comments on Justin's crappy acting -

http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro_24jun11.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

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