Blind Vice: The TV Cast That Vices Together, Stays Together!

New from Ted today...

Blind Vice: The TV Cast That Vices Together, Stays Together!

Here's an Awful Truth first: This entire friggin' cast is in on the Vice! But instead of focusing on the entire group, we decided to introduce you to the three biggest troublemakers, 'cause we know they'll be making future appearances.
So let's welcome Buella Bland, Kelly Guten-Shoes and Drew Smolder 'n' Such to our Vicey vault for some truly Teddy O'Bong-type behavior...
But before we get to the ganja goodness, let's set the scene for this trio and their night out on the town. See, Buella, Kelly and Drew work extra hard to maintain their fame. Trust, it's a full-time gig aside from their full-time jobs as, you know, actors.
So it's only fair that when the trio clocks out from another long day on the 9 to 5 (or whatever hours they happen to be shooting their sometimes-sexy scenes), they get a little R and R.
And when they relax, they always bring along the rest of the folks they work with. Thoughtful, don't you think? So refreshing to see a cast (and crew, no less) full of folks who actually like each other—whether Vice-induced or not.
On this particular night, BB, KGS and DS2 took the gang out to celebrate one of their fave directors, and where better to create some mildly wild memories than a strip club? Dudes and ladies, alike, packed the place to peep some babes grinding on the pole and flashing their hoo-has.
And when that director—who, no doubt, has just as much reason to need some dubious downtime as his star threesome—innocently asked the cast if anyone might happen to have a little bit of weed, the answer was a resounding hell yes!
Buella, Kelly and Drew even had pipes and other paraphernalia on ‘em—because there's nothing like kickin' back with some g-string types and some not-quite-legal smokes...not when you're young and hot, that is, which they totally are.
See, we're not exactly surprised by this kind of behavior from Kell and Drew, totally chill if you know what we mean, but Buella, on the other hand, can be a downright bitch. Tightass, too.
With all that pot puffin', you'd think her nasty ‘tude would improve, but no. Jeez!

And It Ain't: The Office, Gossip Girl, 30 Rock

* Top suspects: The cast of Vampire Diaries

*Proven by timeline of when Ian Somerhalder was and was not a Blind Vice: The cast of Vampire Diaries.

(one of the males is definitely Ian Somerhalder.  See comments section for reader Spie's proof of this timeline.)

Also included in this BV: Nina Dobrev, Paul Wesley

Vampire Blind Vice: Biting Her Way to the Top!

New from Ted today -

Vampire Blind Vice: Biting Her Way to the Top!

Poor Valyrie Tress-Trap, she didn't think anybody was onto her. Isn't it always the way with Hollywood's most ambition, most conniving? They like to convince themselves they're so stealth with their naughty, master plans. Nobody will ever find out! Well, more and more folks are discovering exactly how Valyrie, a member of a highly successful fang franchise, works it off-camera—and that she's been doing so for quite some time.
At first, cast and crewmembers just thought it was a coincidence that Val was seen out and about with one or two of the show's hottest stars. But that was before these on-set folks discovered a couple of things:
First, Val has actually bedded at least two of the hot vamp show's beautiful leads. We're not talkin' supporting players here, babes. We mean the top names. Second, it's no accident Ms. Tress-Trap happened to get it on with her bloody-TV offering's most famous talent. She planned it from the beginning! Wow, what a total user! You'd think all the attention and fancy Hollywood perks Val got as a result was worth it for her, in the end—I mean, having to sell herself like that?
(If you even have to think twice about answering this question, you're reading the wrong gossip column.)
This sorry and rather typical way of achieving fame is exactly what people who still toil on the megapopular franchise are just now discovering: that this was Valyrie's whoring plan from the get-go. According to certain knowledgeable, blabbing set sources, VT-T stupidly told one crewmember (who then told a few more):  "I'm going to f--k whoever gets me the most famous."
Well, points to Valyrie for being honest!
Problem is, Tress-Trap—who really is a cold fish, as she convinced her lovely female paramour she's really into chicks, when she's not—doesn't understand why more and more of her castmates are suddenly finding they've got other post-filming places to be that don't usually include her. And the crafty looker is simply flummoxed about what to do about it.
She's even thinking of rekindling her original two affairs on the show, just to try and get back in their good graces, among other totally stupid plans...like making a spoof project about their franchise.
Silly girl, doesn't she know the spoof's on her?

And It Ain't: Anna Kendrick, Anna Paquin, Ashley Greene 

Update 1/28/11 - Ted has eliminated Evan Rachel Wood.


Top suspect: Nina Dobrev,