Bonus Blind! Man-Slut McNugget Returns!

Sorry for the delay again... this was from Ted on Monday...

Bonus Blind! Man-Slut McNugget Returns!


Crawley McNugget is back, but don't worry, his sleaziness hasn't gone anywhere. Remember Crawley? The little TV star that could? He racks up bedroom conquests about as fast as he blows the lines out at night. After all, when are sex and drugs not one in the same in this skanky town of Hollywood? FYI: Because of the drug factor previously mentioned, that's why we can't just reveal to you all who this seemingly not-so nice guy is, but since we're feeling kind today, we'll offer superfab clues.

'Cause C.M. has now schlepped his schlong and STDs to the perfect place, teaming with fellow and impressive sluts: Vegas.

The 'Nugg decided to take his game to Sin City recently. And no, he didn't run into Jerry Rock-Butt there. Cee prefers to keep his posse full of movie stars, instead.
Anyway, Crawley was having a fab time out clubbing, hitting on girls left and right, natch. Most of them fell for his semi-fame bait. Except one. See, C.M. likes the chase as much as anyone else, so when his not-so-smooth "you do know who I am?" (no joke) lines didn't work on this par-tick smart babe, he'd finally had enough.
"You know what, fine. If you're not going to sleep with me, then see that girl in the red dress over there? Your friend? I can take her up to my room and bang her right now if I want!"
And he did. Talk about classy. Jeez, some friend, huh? Not sure who's the sleazier turd here? But whatev.
Seriously, how are some girls so damn gullible? This fair-haired guy isn't ugly by any means, but he's clearly a douche prick and crab-friendly asshole. Is bedding someone semi-famous that worth it, girls? Yuck. Maybe C.M.'s turning more into his TV character than we thought.
And it ain't: Tony Romo, Penn Badgley, Bradley Cooper

Here is the link to older Crawley McNugget blind vice from January 2009 including a full list of those eliminated.

* Top suspect: Kevin Connolly.

One Straight Little Pr*ck Blind Vice

New BV from Ted from yesterday....

One Straight Little Prick Blind Vice
Crawley McNugget is a quasi-pint-size playboy in the fickle and lust-filled town of Hell-Ay, even though he may not look the part. Like, at all. Regardless, Crawley's somewhat public womanizing track record shows he's gotten to bed many notorious (for nothing) ladies even though scores of coke-snorting bystanders manage to marvel at McNugget's success—through the haze of blow-filled highs, no less.
But look, the really ridic thing about the dude is that his real-life sex manners are not at all like the nice TV character he plays. Here's how:
As one would suspect of his unimaginative type, Crawly frequents the Hollywood club scene, a lot of the time with other famous pals, looking to score some ass. And he does too, tons. C.M. takes the babes back to his Hills home with the assumption that they're sure gonna do the dirty, and most of the time they sure do. Jeez, you straight chicks can be as easy as us gay slutty ones, I swear! I digress.
But for any gal who prefers to just fool around without closing the deal, be prepared for McNugget to scream louder than a Desperate Housewife with bad lighting. "Get out, then!" he will squeal with high-pitched yelping not dissimilar from the zealous Chihuahua he resembles. He then calls a cab for the discarded dame.
Gentlemanly? Hardly. Why, the last babe who got kicked to the curb dished to us that when the cabbie picked her up, the driver snarked, "What is this place?" She proceeded to tell him the name of the nonlikely hunk that lived there. "I'm here nightly," the cabby said. "Sometimes a couple times a night."
Guess you get cab fare whether you seal the deal or not. One thing's for certain: You don't get to spend the night. Ever. Why? Because the last honey Crawley tried to make it work with burned him for life. No joke. Life. Now, he treats his women as badly as she did him.
And It Ain't: John Mayer, Matt Dillon, Verne Troyer

Here is the link to the new Crawley McNugget blind vice from July 2009.


* Update July 29: Ted has eliminated John Mayer, Matt Dillon, Verne Troyer, David Spade, Jeremy Piven, Johnny Galecki, Penn Badgley, Tony Romo, Bradley Cooper, Chace Crawford.

* Top suspect: Kevin Connolly