Blind Vice! Boy Crazy Parrish Can't Keep a Beard!

New from Ted yesterday Sept 30 -

Blind Vice!  Boy Crazy Parrish Can't Keep a Beard!

Uh oh, Parrish Maguire is in hot water.
And we're not talking about a warm Jacuzzi—ya know, the place Parr likes to hook up with older, more experienced men while other partygoers watch (how devilishly naughty is that?).

No, we're talking trouble.
Parrish has a beard problem. As in, he needs one, pronto.
See, Parrish can't seem to find a H'wood chica willing to put up with him long enough to establish some straight cred.
Which means people are starting to talk. And not just in T-town (where Parr's pals have been whispering about his dude-on-dude sextivities since forever)—we're talking popcorn munchin', movie-ticket buying audiences, too.
And Parrish is freaked out, no matter how much PR his peeps put out to cover his homolicious tracks.
So why can't Parrish land a babe willing to stick by his side?
Well, he's a monster. He's got a horrible diva ‘tude that rivals the worst of the worst T-town be-yotches. And word is spreading through the B.A.H. (that'd be the Beard Association of Hollywood) not to link up with him—which is why you'll see him out and about with a bevy of ladies but nothing ever sticks.
Funnily enough, Parrish used to be a real sweetie (back when we had a long-term cutie boyfriend attached at the hip). But that's what happens when you let your head get out of control—and we ain't talking about the one on his shoulders.
And It Ain't: Chris Hemsworth, Justin Timberlake, Joe Manganiello

Please use the link below to read our other posts on the previous Parrish Maguire BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Taylor Lautner

Blind Vice: Priscilla Desert Is Dry Indeed

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Priscilla Desert Is Dry Indeed

Turns out Blind Vice vixen Priscilla Desert isn't as trampy as some of you think.
Sure, she hasn't exactly kept the best male company (much to the dismay and spin control of her team) but don't you dare label her slutty by association!
You wanna know why?
Yes, Priscilla Desert is...
Still a virgin!
(Pals close to Priscilla let this slip after a few too many cocktails, so the apple doesn't fall far from her friends!).
Now, to those of you who don't live in Hollywood where practically everyone keeps a legs wide open policy, this may not seem shocking for a girl of her age.
But it is. It really is.
Especially because other chicks who grew up in the spotlight like Me-Me Dallas or Darla Jones certainly cannot say the same.
Humping in trailers is so not P.D.'s thang.
Now Pris's bearding to Parrish Maguire makes a little more sense. Fauxmance's always serve a purpose, but since she isn't getting it anywhere else of course she doesn't mind the PR sham. Being attached to hotties in this business benefits her too, ya know.
Guess that also tells us that despite the fact Miss P throws 'em back, she never gets too out of control to lose track of her clothes.
We find this very respectable! And way cute. Guess her good girl image isn't totally a sham.
Now ditch the losers honey and find real love that you say you desperately want!
Here's hoping that once you get a taste of something good (we mean true love people, duh), you never go back to bearding.
And It Ain't: Blake Lively, Nikki Reed, Emily Osment

Top suspect: still Taylor Swift 

*  Proven to be Priscilla Desert by timeline of dates Ted has said she was NOT a BV and then confirmed as a BV:  TAYLOR SWIFT.

Please see labels for links to the other two PD BVs including a full list of who has been eliminated, and the timeline analysis.

Blind Vice: Parrish Gets Pissy With His "People"

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Parrish Gets Pissy With His "People"

How does the saying go? Hell hath no fury like a young pretty boy scorned? Yeah, pretty sure that's it. And, girlfriends, is Parrish Maguire ever pissed!
First, it's important to note, we rarely, if ever, run the same Blind Vice star on concurrent Fridays. But Parrish must be so peeved these days—as we noted in last week's installment—that he's taken to...
Doing the exact opposite of what his worried handlers have been telling him to!
Now, remember how we told you the hunky celeb Maquire's handlers chastised him for too openly getting his (closeted) gay on at parties and select guys-only events? Yep, and Parrish did not like being told to curb his natural man-on-man desires, and, as a result, started getting pretty nasty with his friends—taking his bad mood out on an unlucky few.
But now, Parrish seems to have had a change of heart, and more recently, is directing the frustrations of living a closeted celeb life out on the very people who told him to watch it: his peeps.
Fabulously passive-aggressively, Parrish can be seen riding around town in a ridiculously expensive toy that belongs to one of the primary folks Parrish's management team told him to stay the hell away from.
Love it! It's like a daughter who decides to marry the bad-boy because her 'rents told her not to!
You keep the rebel up, Mr. M! We're likin' you a whole lot better all of a sudden.

And it Ain't: Joe Jonas, Xavier Samel, Daniel Radcliffe

This is the 5th Parrish Maguire BV.  Here are the links to the previous Parrish Maguire BVs:
1 - Jan 2010 (including a full list of who has been eliminated).
2 - March 2010
3 - June 2010
4 - August 2010


Top suspect: Taylor Lautner.

Confirmed by dates that Ted has given us when he was NOT a BV until he was said to have been one: Taylor Lautner

Blind Vice: Wet 'n' Wild Parrish Dries Himself Off

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Wet 'n' Wild Parrish Dries Himself Off

If any of Parrish Maguire's close (and all very beautiful) friends are wondering why their blushing-boy companion has been on the rag as of late, we can tell you: He's been duly chastised by his "people," and he ain't happy about it.
For some silly reason, Parrish's peeps were in an uproar about their client liking to get his sexy on with porn stars at private pool parties or liking to tag around his tortured BF at parties while he made goo-goo eyes at all the (other) pretty boys.
Parrish's advisors therefore advised:
"Reel it in, or else."
P-stuff, all crimson cheeks and quivering lower lip, did not question what the else referred to. He very well knew: The sizeable investment his employers had made in him would suddenly disappear faster than Lindsay Lohan's 9-to-5 gigs.
Also intimated to Mr. Maquire, who's gotten quite used to being the hot-stuff flavor of the month, was a reminder that he was hardly the first choice for the plum position he now enjoys.
Consequently, P.M. has been pulling the sour stuff on his close friends, taking out the frustration of no longer being able to get his gay on quite so openly on those unlucky enough to enjoy the gorgeous dude's myriad perks. As a result, partying it up with Parrish ain't at all what it used to be.
So, suffice it to say: Since P has had to zip his pants, his lip ain't following suit.

And It Ain't: Chris Hemsworth, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ryan Gosling

Links to 3 previous Parrish Maguire BVs:
1 - Jan 2010 including a full list of who has been eliminated
2 - March 2010
3 - June 2010

And here is the 5th, most recent PM BV from Sept 2010.

Top suspect: Taylor Lautner

* Proven by timeline of Ted's dates he was and wasn't a BV: Taylor Lautner

Blind Vice: Closeted Movie Star Gets Cockier, Literally!

New from Ted-

Blind Vice: Closeted Movie Star Gets Cockier, Literally!


We first met Parrish Maguire when he was just a young movie-starrin' gay. Then we checked in on him and found out that the dimpled diva was starting to get his serious gay on...in public places. How very Toothy Tile of him! You go, boy!
So what's the stud, whose fame is on the rise every friggin' day, doin' now that's catching our radar? Or gaydar. Duh...
The darling, adorable, dimpled Parrish has been getting even more comfortable with the gay community, frequenting a famous Hollywood social player's pad more and more lately. The party host has been known to have notoriously gay bashes, inviting only the hottest of the hot (and they just keep getting younger, don't they?).
And since most everyone at these hotass bashes is out and proud—or at least that's what you'd think—little is done not in the open. Indeed, these are the same shindigs some of our other sexually swingin' Blind-Vice alums have been going to for ages!
How terribly boy-on-boy chic.
So, Parrish is one of the host's new favorite boys. And from the way Parrish has been acting at these gatherings, you'd think the guy was ready to come out in a freakin' People article tomorrow. But trust, he's not doing that any time soon—let's give it at least two more years.
What the heck is Pare-Pare thinking? How would his devoted fan base react to the news that this little hunk is getting it on with other little hunks in increasingly public places? And why have none of the other partygoers ratted him out?
We think it's 'cause no one wants to be kicked out of these sex-filled get-togethers, to be perfectly honest. Once you're in, you're in, and that circle of celebs is far too elite to risk getting booted by blabbing to the rags.
Then again, you're reading about it, aren't you?
And It Ain't: Emile Hirsch, Justin Bieber, Henry Cavill

Here is the link to the first Parrish Maguire BV from Jan 2010 including a full list of who has been eliminated.  Here is a link to the 2nd Parrish Maguire BV from March 2010.  And here is the 4th PM BV from August 2010.  And, here is the 5th PM BV from Sept 2010.

Top guess - Taylor Lautner.

* Proven by timeline of Ted's dates he was and wasn't a BV: Taylor Lautner 

Blind Vice: Parrish Maguire Parades Horny Thighs!

From Ted today -

Blind Vice: Parrish Maguire Parades Horny Thighs!

Last time we checked in on Parrish Maguire, the good-lookin' babe was getting set up on fake dates with available female celebs, and the dude didn't mind in the least!
Parrish, as we've said before, is quite unlike the most famous closeted Hollywood man of them all, Toothy Tile, who hates that he has to trot women around in order to sell tickets.
That's no problem for adorable Parrish, who'd probably sell his soul to the Hollywood devil for even a bit more fame—only problem being, not sure the designing star has a soul. Hard to tell.
Especially with P.M. pulling stuff like this:
Attending a number of private Hollywood parties, with boyfriend in tow (the one he's had since before Parrish shot to matinee celebu-fame), and hitting on other guys! No wonder that BF of Parrish's looks like a Ken doll caught in headlights. If that's the crap Maguire's pulling on his man in public, can you imagine the emotional abuse the boyfriend's having to put up with behind closed doors?
But let's get one thing clear here: There is nothing overt about what Parrish is doing with these men at various soirees; a gay Tiger Woods, he's not. Nope, what gets Parrish's flirt on is literally rubbing up against good-looking guys with his (rather nice) legs, arms and—oftentimes—just his hungry eyes. It's all really kind of Crescent Kumquat kind of stuff; remember the guy who just liked to spoon with guys in bed, rather than actually screw them? Yeah, that's the one.
Isn't it interesting P.M., who's privately never made it a secret he's gay, is now taking the next step of getting his homo on in quasi-public places?
And the Crescent analogy isn't exactly such a bad one, as—of course—now Crescent's doing much more than spooning with those guys he formerly just got sleepy-cozy with.
Does this mean Parrish is actually getting closer to coming out?
We say no.
And this is why the Tiger analogy is actually a better one. Parrish's recent party-lusty behavior is just another example of a guy who's used to getting away with stuff and thinks that'll go on forever.
Not so sure about that.
And it ain't: Nick Jonas, Robert Pattinson, Justin Bieber

The link to the first Parrish Maguire BV (from Jan 2010) can be found here including a full list of who has been eliminated.
And here is the link to the 3rd Parrish Maguire BV from June 2010.  And here is the 4th from August 2010.  And, here is the 5th from Sept 2010.


*Our current top guess: Taylor Lautner.

* Proven by timeline of Ted's dates he was and wasn't a BV: Taylor Lautner 

(Please see the labels on the right side of your screen for links to the many Crescent Kumquat BVs.)

Blind Vice: Young Gay Movie Star in Heat!

From Ted yesterday 1/8/10:

Blind Vice: Young Gay Movie Star in Heat!

Gorgeous young stud Parrish Maguire is as crafty with publicity as he is shy with his fans. Trust us on this one: He's no tormented Toothy Tile, who can't decide which side of the closet door he wants to be on. Parrish has his feet firmly planted inside his walk-in closet (which holds an unfortunate assortment of Lycra, we're sorry to report), where he fully plans on remaining.
Especially since Mr. Maguire has such magnificent male company to keep him satisfied...
As in a hot boyfriend he's absolutely koo-koo horny for and has had for a while now. And this romantic situation was in full force long before Parrish's handlers saw to it to fix him up with luscious, multitalented celeb Priscilla Desert, who has a bit more experience with boys than even Parrish himself does!
The funny thing is, really, that Parrish's friends are even more cavalier about discussing his same-sex bent than even Toothy's buds are—which is really saying something. It's just that Maguire's personal pals think there's such a disconnect between their crowd and Parrish's suddenly gigantic fanbase, they figured word would never trickle down.
Well, isn't that what gossip columns are for?
Exactly. And let's just say Maguire's pro advisers have been far more clammed up in discussing their client's true sexual preference—and they'd like to keep it that way, and Parrey doesn't mind in the least. Ah, such fun to be young and have not convictions yet; it's so much easier that way! (Poor Toothy.)
By the way, this pretty-open life that Parrish led prior to his meteoric rise to hot-stud fame suddenly explains why he almost didn't get his current fab job. Makes perfect sense.
But so, too, does how Parrish's studio employers decided to get Parrish hooked up with Priscilla ASAP.
And the only difference between Parrish and Toothy here is that P-boy doesn't mind his fakey tabloid ride in the least; Toothy loathes it.
Hmm. Who's going to last longer, in the end?

And It Ain't: Justin Timblerlake, Ryan Kwanten, Liam Hemsworth

For Parrish Maguire:
As of 7/5/12 - Ted has eliminated Justin Timberlake, Ryan Kwanten, Liam Hemsworth, Ryan Reynolds, Chris Pine, Channing Tatum, Sebastian Stan, Nick Jonas, Robert Pattinson, Justin Bieber, Joe Jonas, Emile Hirsch, Henry Cavill, James Franco, Michael Cera, Chris Hemsworth, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ryan Gosling, Joe Jonas, Xavier Samuel, Daniel Radcliffe, Joe Manganiello, Kellan Lutz, Josh Hutcherson.

Please refer to the label below for links to the many other Parrish Maguire BVs.

Here is the link to the Priscilla Desert BV from October 2010 including a full list of who has been eliminated.


Top guesses:  
Parrish Maguire - Taylor Lautner
Priscilla Desert - Taylor Swift

* Parrish Maguire was proven by timeline of Ted's dates he was and wasn't a BV to be Taylor Lautner.
* Priscilla Desert was proven by timeline of Ted's dates she was and wasn't a BV to be Taylor Swift.