Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Blind Vice: Priscilla Desert Is Dry Indeed

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Priscilla Desert Is Dry Indeed

Turns out Blind Vice vixen Priscilla Desert isn't as trampy as some of you think.
Sure, she hasn't exactly kept the best male company (much to the dismay and spin control of her team) but don't you dare label her slutty by association!
You wanna know why?
Yes, Priscilla Desert is...
Still a virgin!
(Pals close to Priscilla let this slip after a few too many cocktails, so the apple doesn't fall far from her friends!).
Now, to those of you who don't live in Hollywood where practically everyone keeps a legs wide open policy, this may not seem shocking for a girl of her age.
But it is. It really is.
Especially because other chicks who grew up in the spotlight like Me-Me Dallas or Darla Jones certainly cannot say the same.
Humping in trailers is so not P.D.'s thang.
Now Pris's bearding to Parrish Maguire makes a little more sense. Fauxmance's always serve a purpose, but since she isn't getting it anywhere else of course she doesn't mind the PR sham. Being attached to hotties in this business benefits her too, ya know.
Guess that also tells us that despite the fact Miss P throws 'em back, she never gets too out of control to lose track of her clothes.
We find this very respectable! And way cute. Guess her good girl image isn't totally a sham.
Now ditch the losers honey and find real love that you say you desperately want!
Here's hoping that once you get a taste of something good (we mean true love people, duh), you never go back to bearding.
And It Ain't: Blake Lively, Nikki Reed, Emily Osment




Top suspect: still Taylor Swift 

Proven to be Priscilla Desert by timeline of dates Ted has said she was NOT a BV and then confirmed as a BV:  TAYLOR SWIFT.

Please see labels for links to the other two PD BVs including a full list of who has been eliminated, and the timeline analysis.


44 comments:

Marcy said...

Wait a minute. Parrish Maguire? If it's Swifty then she would have to currently be bearding for Jake G, right?

Isn't Parrish another of Ted's creations? Or maybe not since it's not hotlinked.

I'm so confused! lol

blurry vice said...

Parrish MAguire is Taylor Lautner... confirmed by timeline of when TEd said he was and was nt a BV.

Caz1310 said...

Taylor's songs have the maturity of a 15 year old singing about first love....when she grows up, has her heart broken, meets a few less than choice men etc etc she'll be writing songs a la Alanis Morrisette & Pink. Gotta say this one suprised me. Good on her if it's true. Hanging onto your v-card (I learned that phrase from this site LOL) is a good thing. Yes, proves the TayTay and Swiftenhaal bearding.

Ana said...

So it means that she wrote that song about how John Mayer messed her and they didn't even had sex?

trisha said...

Honestly, Ted might as well have called out names with this one because it's so obviously Taylor Swift. "Sure, she hasn't exactly kept the best male company" = John Mayer

PrincessTiff said...

It caught me off guard because I just assume every 20-year-old has done it, but when you think about it (with the exception of John Mayer) she's only linked to gay guys. Who did we think was going to deflower her? Taylor Lautner?

Jessica said...

I kind of wish he wouldn't make this a blind. With all the sluttery that goes on in young Hollywood (especially under the guise of proclaimed virginity), I want to hug this girl if it's true! Of course that might be because I hung onto my V-card unti I was a legal adult too :)

MamaKambo said...

But didn't it say in the original blind that she had more experience with guys than Taylor L. did? And how does the John Mayer song play into this?

hordac said...

Awww, so cute - good for you Taylor! Guess she isnt as slutty as Ted made her out to seem, well except for the fake bearding lol! Seems she respects herself and I hope she finds someone special who is NOT famous. She also seems to be very responsive to her fans according to Lainey. Maybe Jakey can introduce her to one of his hot straight friends.

Stephanie said...

Wow, a Blind Vice that's actually admirable. Ha! Never thought I'd see the day. Good example of Ted being wishy-washy. Had eluded that PD was all but innocent many times before.

Tara said...

MamaKambo, I think at that time, Parrish may have been in his cuddling and spooning phase. He has since gone to the other side:)

I agree, maybe her pro-bearding is a preservation or protection tactic. And there are rumors about Mayer not being totally straight......If you like poo like SDC, you might be willing to try peen too.

Valerie Feria - Isacks said...

I think it's sad she can't say it if it's true. Because saving your virginity for adulthood is a good thing and should be something you are proud of not hiding from the public. Bearding however not so much.

He should just reveal this is her at this point I think no one from her camp would care.

MamaKambo said...

He can't because another blind about her includes underage drinking.

Sarah said...

If this is true, then I feel like she probably owes John Mayer an apology. They obviously weren't that serious and she accused him of totally screwing her over.

The Spie said...

I've put the proof of Taylor Swift being Priscilla Desert in the previous Pris thread, since that's where Blurry posted the timeline. I'm convinced it's her.

Gwenith Cooke said...

You don't have to have sex to have your heart broken, but this explains her immature ideas behind her songs. If she has that much heartache over a relationship that DIDN'T include sex, I'd hate to see what she has to write about after she becomes sexually active.

Also this makes me wonder about Joe Jonas. Was Taylor her first bearding job?

Tara said...

I don't think there was anything between Mayer and Swift at all in the first place. I think it was a publicity stunt for the song that everyone assumes is about him. She has been linked to Lautner and Gyllenhaal since, and we all know what that means. So I think everyone, especially her teen audience, wants to hear a heartbreak or love song that they assume is about a celeb dude they also wet their pants over. It is a perfect marketing ploy.

Tara said...

PS Gwen I totally wondered about Joe too. Or, Joe might have given her or her team the idea to use her "love" life with other celebs to sell music. Everyone knows about the infamous phone call break up--you can't tell me her publicist was not eating that up. That album sold tons, and she likely got serious publicity from the Jonas crap.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
After your surprise Blind Vice article about Priscilla Desert being a virgin, I was wondering why do you think that she is still a virgin?
—Evie

Dear Celibacy Cutie:
It's all business, not enough pleasure with Ms. Desert. Time for a storm down there, if you ask me!"

88 said...

@Marcy If he said 'Toothy Tile' instead of Parrish he would be revealing Taylor L, Taylor Swift and Jake G's blinds all at once. I don't think he would want to do that.

That being said, Taylor honestly must believe she is like 15, because if she is a virgin half her songs were totally unnecessary. She needs to realize she's almost 21 (or is already?). Time to grow up Swifty! Also, I figured she didn't have sex with John Mayer, I don't think she'd go along with the whole poo, pee and sniffing butts thing. Jessica on the other hand...well...he doesn't call her sexual napalm for nothing!

Rita, Montreal said...

Personnally, if she is still really a virgin, then Toothy is the perfect match (excuse my too pragmatic heart): they could give each other the public support that could make them more famous, be honest friends, and let each other be free to do whatever in their personal lives.

But honestly, Toothy is going after another Witherspoon, if Swifty falls in love with someone else along the way, she would dump his ass more quickly than Witherspoon dumped him for her boyfriend.

Gwenith Cooke said...

@ Tara: oh of course she was milking the JoBro relationship for all it's worth. If he is straight (which I think he is...I hardly see Ashley Greene bearding) then that's probably why Swift keeps writing songs about him--it's the last "real" relationship she was in!

Ana said...

Dear Ted:
You mentioned before that Priscilla Desert had more experience with boys than Parrish Maguire. Were you just assuming that? I mean, I get why one would assume that. If she's who I think she is, I think everyone assumed that she had given up her V-card long ago.
—Nini

Dear Moral Mirage:
Just because Pris hasn't gone all the way, doesn't mean that she hasn't racked up some horny action with the opposite sex. But she's definitely had more experience dating guys than Parrish. Hell, Priscilla has dated more gay guys than most gay guys have.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Taylor Swift seemed (or seems, if you go buy the lyrics form her new CD) pretty heartbroken about her breakup with Joe Jonas. Was this romance as hot and

heavy as she is trying to make it seem, or is it all fake publicity for CD sells? Was he more into her then Demi, or vice versa? Did Demi and Tay ever have a

run-in over him?
—Marie

Dear Swift Answers:
No, yes and no."

"Dear Ted:
You mentioned before that Priscilla Desert had more experience with boys than Parrish Maguire. Were you just assuming that? I mean, I get why one would

assume that. If she's who I think she is, I think everyone assumed that she had given up her V-card long ago.
—Nini

Dear Moral Mirage:
Just because Pris hasn't gone all the way, doesn't mean that she hasn't racked up some horny action with the opposite sex. But she's definitely had more

experience dating guys than Parrish. Hell, Priscilla has dated more gay guys than most gay guys have."

"Dear Ted:
You say Priscilla Desert has racked up some horny action with the opposite sex. How far do you think she has gone, and did she ever hook up with Parrish

Maguire?
—evielewton

Dear Hornball:
We doubt more than a few innocent smooches—maybe a grope or two. Those two were not in love or lust, hence the dryness of the desert. And your last question

just made me laugh so much I have to thank you."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Priscilla Dessert...Selena Gomez?
—Lawton

Dear Right Tree, Wrong Branch:
She's innocent, she's a child star, but is she completely dessert-like? You might be on to something here. Selena and Priscilla don't share quite the same

claim to fame, but they've def shared some other things in the past!"

Caz1310 said...

Oh now I think I understand Ted's name for Swift. Priscilla (for Queen of the Desert - no action - his reference above) and Dessert (is she sweet/not sweet as she seems)?? Gwenith interestting point about Greenas. I can't see her bearding either.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
After seeing pictures of Taylor Swift lately, I noticed a big difference in her appearance...or should I say small. No, it wasn't just the fab, straight

hair. Taylor has always been a skinny girl, but now she is very, very skinny. Do people not notice because she is "America's Sweetheart"? Tell me you have

noticed this, too.
—Skin and Bones

Dear Teardrops on My Chocolate Bar:
Tay has always been on the petite side, but I agree she's been looking extra twiggy lately. Weird too, since she's been licking all that ice cream with Jake

Gyllenhaal. Don't worry too much, though, worrying about her weight isn't the Vice that'll come back to haunt her."

nickyhilde said...

Ok, now all of the drama surrounding her relationships with Joe and John make sense...um clearly she thought they "loved" her because they were trying to sleep with her. Maybe she came thisclose to sleeping with Joe and he fed her some line about being each other's firsts. I mean Taylor and Demi Lovato have both been deeply hurt by him and what other reason could it be? So glad she never slept with John Mayer, that is just nasty.
Maybe this is why she is hanging with Toothy and overplaying that "Back to December" song ....she is trying to get one decent guy in her life. Gay or not.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You stated that Priscilla Desert has dated more gays than most gay guys have. Does she know she's bearding, or does think she's in a real deal relationship?
—e5

Dear Naïve or Genius:
Usually I would say of course she knows what she's doing, but I'm not entirely sold. See, she's smart enough to know what high-profile relationships do for one's career, but I also think she's young enough to think that she could "change" some of these guys for lack of a better word. Not Parish, though. That guy is as gay as they come."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
In a recent B.B., you insinuated an eating disorder wasn't the kind of B.V. that would haunt Taylor Swift. That makes me think her B.V. has something to do with drinking or drugs. Since I had a normal upbringing and I turned out fine after experimenting with drinking at 16 and on, I'm not too worried about a B.V. like that (plus she'll be 21 in a matter of days). I am, however, worried that her B.V. may have something to do with drugs and that just breaks my heart. I'm about 5 years older than she is, but I can't help being a huge fan of hers and wish her nothing but health, happiness, and success! I totally feel like the big sister being protective of the younger sibling who's still feeling their way through life. Please give me a hint as to her B.V., please!
—Heather

Dear Swift Denial:
Your concern is mucho adorable, Heather, so I'm happy to tell you that Tay isn't dabbling in the drug scene (and if her slightly condescending happy bday tweet to Miley is any indication, she's supposedly waiting until the big 2-1 to throw back some tequila shots). Her Vice will haunt her headlines more than her health."

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Do you think Priscilla Desert would ever marry a famous beard to further her already red-hot career and carry on a steamy relationship with an average joe in

private? Or would she be too ethical to do that?
—Hannah

Dear Desert Storm:
Ethical? Don't really think that's a problem with Ms. P, no matter how tightly she clings to that V-card. That said, while she may be dating every gay dude

in sight these days, I don't see her tying the knot with any of them.

"Dear Ted:
During their brief fling (can you even call it that?), did Taylor Swift ever find out about John Mayer's dirty, Vicey ways?
—Hannah

Dear Flung Off:
Uh, hardly a fling. Tabloid rumors and the most minor of fascinated flirtation does not a torrid affair make. Which also means that no, Tay is still in the

dark on JM's BV—or else that "Dear John" song would have been to a whole different tune."

"Dear Ted:
I was wondering about the whole Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift showmance. It just seems way too adorable and sweet, lovey-dovey. Are they really into each

other, or is this strictly business?
—miri_aft21

Dear Horoscope Says:
Let's put it this way: Jaw to the floor that these two are still cavorting around together. It looks like if it's up to any higher power, aside from us, Jake

and Taylor may just make it through the long haul. We'll admit the two are a cute match, but the cheesy photo op dates aren't helping their case against any

nonbelievers. It's time to switch up the scene, you two, before this fairy tale turns into even more of a media nightmare!"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Happy New Year! My puppy and I missed your daily Bitch-Backs over the holiday, but we came up with a bunch of questions for you during that time. First, has

Priscilla Desert ever met Shafterella Shoshstein? Second, does LeAnn Rimes have a Blind Vice? And third, is Wilby Whiskers old enough to legally vote?
—M+S

Dear Wham-Bam:
Let's not get greedy, I'll answer two. Yes, Priscilla and Shafterella have met (that doesn't say much, for what it's worth), and LeAnn Rimes does all her
Vicey stuff out in the open."

"Dear Ted:
I am beginning to think that Jake Gyllenhaal's PR team is pretty smart! If Taylor Swift does indeed write a song about him, people will be talking about that

short-lived relationship for years to come! That would tend to reduce any rumors about his sexuality. Honestly, I think that is why John Mayer got involved

with her, too. You know he couldn't wait to hear people gossiping about his song!
--kschesney

Dear Foxy:
I was with ya till the John Mayer thing. That dude befriended Swift for only one reason: He's a total slut-bag, regardless how far (or not) he got with

Taylor. And yes, Jake's team is on a par with Tom Cruise's team—the one before couch-gate, that is."

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted;
I'd love for you to give your insider opinion on 2010. Which breakup were you most surprised by in 2010? Which hookup was a shocker? Were any cheaters that were exposed in 2010 a surprise to you or did you have the goods on pretty much all of them? Who were you the proudest or most disappointed of in 2010? Which B.V. did your readers come the closest to solving? Love, love, love your column. It helps me escape real life for a few minutes a day.
—Annie

Dear In Order U Asked:
Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal, Taylor Swift and John Mayer, David Boreanaz, James Franco and Oprah, Me-Me Dallas. You're very welcome!"

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
What's up with Priscilla Desert dating those closeted stars? Does she want publicity, or is she hiding something? Is she a lesbian or what?
–M

Dear Wrong Closet:
The only thing Ms. P hides is that she's not so innocent. Babe is super-crafty—hence how she picks her men. Publicity is her secret, not being a lez."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Priscilla Desert sexually frustrated?
—L



Dear Dry as A...:
Doubtful. Priscilla is very career hungry; she'll sacrifice whatever she needs to get what she wants, even if it's sex. But I wouldn't be surprise if she

gives it up and starts kinda slutting around on the down-low. Think she already has, in fact."

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
Taylor Swift sure seems to get around. It seems like she's dated half of Hollywood, Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Cory Monteith and

now Chord Overstreet! Now, some of them have to be for publicity, and some for real so I was wondering who goes where? Or how many go where.
—Tallie

Dear Dating With Reason:
They all go in the same place, believe me. Well, maybe all of them except Mayer. He's an exception, like always."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What's the latest with Priscilla Desert? Still professional bearding, or is she actually making a real attempt towards maybe losing that "V"?
—Scout

Dear Still Dry...
And still looking out for her next publicity beard."

blurry vice said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
Why does Parrish McGuire have a girlfriend? Is she really all that? Or is this just publicity? I know you won't answer this because everyone knows who

Parrish really is—but I dare you.
—Lady

Dear Miss McGuire:
Challenge accepted, sugar-puss. Yes, P. does have a girl friend. Note the grammar—cause that's all she is. Parr prefers naughty romps in public places but is

willing to hang around with his kinda-cute companion when need be."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
How serious are Lily Collins and Taylor Lautner? Are we going to have a name for the two-some. I think Lay-Lay or Tily is cute.
—Wolfie

Dear Name Game:
How about Tayli? Don't worry, the cuties are way into each other, constantly flaunting one another to friends and bragging about their other half to

reporters. Love! I'm such a liar!

Dear Ted:
Who has the most Vicey Vice? Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner? Thanks, and keep on keeping off the cigs!
—Twilight Fan

Dear Twi-hard:
K-Stew is Vicey, but, R.Pattz is technically the most serious offender. And Tay? He's the whittle baby Vicer."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
My new obsession now is the hot-bodied Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow. You have any news on the world's most famous virgin? Which female celeb would you pair

him with?
—Mimi

Dear Cherry Popper:
That's a really good question but whoever our celeb match-up is, needs to be good and wholesome, that's for sure. We can't fix him up with anyone who's been

around the block and who doesn't go to church, like twice a week. Oh, and they also have to be a virgin and willing to wait for marriage and be extremely

hot. So if you know any celebs who fit this description let me know, but right now I can't think of one. Oh, hi Taylor Swift."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Are you serious that Taylor Swift fits your description of who Tim Tebow needs: church twice a week, and a virgin? I just can't believe that. I love Taylor, but she's dated a lot of hotties and I find it hard to believe that she hasn't been involved with any of them.
—K

Dear K is For Klose-Minded:
Hey, just because the babe went out with John Mayer doesn't mean she was one of his bed notches. All evidence leads the other way, actually, considering "Dear John," etc. And don't underestimate Taylor's convictions. That's one strong-willed country thing."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Could it be true?! Tim Tebow and Taylor Swift spotted together? OMG, you've willed it to be true, Ted! Please please please tell me she really is a "good

girl" like her image, because by all accounts he really is a good guy and I'd hate to see him wrapped up in Hollywood biz if it will warp him!
—Kay

Dear 2 Peas in a Preachy Pod:
Maybe The Secret is real, babe! ‘Cause I'm très thrilled that after saying Ms. Swift and the footballer were absolutely par-fait for each other, the twosome
finally seemed to have caught on and are rumored to have hit the town together. Tim might be a bit too goody-goody for Taylor's liking, but I happen to think
they will have plenty in common.

Dear Ted:
Tell us, loyal AT readers, this: Is Priscilla Desert's desert still "dry," as you mentioned a couple of years ago, or did the gal finally give in to some mattress fun? Let's hope so!
—Love, Cami

Dear Is That a Mirage?
Oh, Ms. Pris is still feeling underwhelmed in the bedroom department, all right. To go with your analogy, Ms. Desert may have taken a few sips from a
particularly naughty pond, but she never took the plunge.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
With all this talk of Tim Tebow being considered for The Bachelor and his outing with Katy Perry and Taylor Swift, it has me wondering about his image.

Wouldn't these rumors suggest Tebow has...wait for it...sex? Everything until this point has said he is still a virgin, so is this true and his Christian

roots have him still holding onto his V card or what?
—Kara Ann

Dear Hail Mary:
I can follow your train of thought with K.P. (since the naughty pop star did croon that she wanted to see Timmy's peacock), but that relaysh was totally

fueled by the tabloids and Katy's preachy parents. Now, Sebow is a different story...and I hardly think Tebow is risking his halo and wings with Tay. Don't

worry about his sexual status, Kara."

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