Monday, November 8, 2010

Bonus Blind: Marrying Man Screwing Around Already!

New from Ted today -

Bonus Blind: Marrying Man Screwing Around Already!
Men are dawgs, period, plain and simple. It's a familiar refrain heard ‘round the Awful Truth, so get used to it.
My Booky Wook: A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-UpTake Altar-Ego Salami, for example. He's an arguably handsome man of some fame (and talent) who fairly recently got married—or engaged, we're not saying, sorry! But let's put it this way: The announcement of said fact was splashed heartily across many a celeb site.
You know how we goss types are, right? We just get wet in the keyboard whenever something like that goes down. Only thing that gets us more excited is when all that domestic lovey stuff goes wrong, right?
Oh, yeah!
And Altar-Ego is already cheating right and friggin' left on his unsuspecting honey, which is just colossally unbelievable, if you ask us, because Salami is being pretty sloppy about his horning around. He's doing it in very visible, highly desirable hotels. You know, places where lotsa celebs go. And who else goes to places like that?
People who love to talk about people who go to places like that! In other words, it's hardly been a secret that AES has been going in and out of his suites more than his lady companions. He's not being discreet about it. Or quiet.
And the stupid girl who's marrying (or just married) Mr. S thinks she's met the lover of her life. Well, maybe she has, but she's also met the lover of many other babes' lives.
Good thing the arrogant (stupid) prick didn't plan for a prenup—this way, his put-upon woman can sue the tight pants off him later on!
It Ain't: Nick Lachey, David Annable, Nick Cannon
Update Dec 23 - Ted has also eliminated Paul Wesley, Michael C. Hall

Current top suspect: Russell Brand
Other guesses: Eric Johnson, Brian Austin Green, Pete Wentz, Eddie Cibrian


nini said...

This sounds like Russell Brand! Maybe Katy is still Strawberry Snort-Em...?

blurry vice said...

My first thought was Mike Comrie (Hillary Duff). Although looks like a lot of people say Russell Brand. Could be. Someone who wears tight pants. Although - would Katy Perry really need to sure RB? She has a lot of money on her own. Maybe someone who is married/engaged to someone who is less successful than he is.

Unknown said...

I'm not sure this is about Russell Brand, sure, this sounds like it could be him, maybe Ted C wants to put us off the right track.
But Ted loves Katy, he wouldnt word it like this, he would say something like "poor her", "this is sad"..

Caz1310 said...

I too really really hope this isn't Russ. Surely he wouldn't be doing this days after the wedding. Could be Brian Austin Green - he and Megan Fox got married recently?

Jessica said...

This so obviously points to Russell Brand that it has to be Ted purposefully misleading us...David Schwimmer?

Side note: KP has been eliminated for Strawberry Snort'Em right?

PrincessTiff said...

Would anyone consider Russel Brand "arguably handsome"

Anonymous said...

I don't think this is Russell Brand either. And I'm pretty sure Duff/Comrie got a prenup, there were articles about it.

Some other options:

- Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell. Engaged this year. I know he's heavily suspected for Harkness Hose, although I don't think he was revealed, but the salami fits with his rumored, um, talents.

- Emily Blunt and John Krasinski. I know they're rumored to cheat fairly openly, but don't recall Ted writing about it before. This makes it sound like the girl doesn't know.

- Kat Von D and Jesse James. It fits with the are-they-married-or-not speculation. But I think JJ was already confirmed to have a BV with Sandra, right? So never mind.

- Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer. I don't think either was a BV before this point, and it'd certainly be interesting news.

Anonymous said...

Joe Manganiello of True Blood? Does anyone care about him? He just got engaged to some actress called Audra Marie. He's smokin hot, but looks like a bit of a playboy...

Kendra said...

I am brand new so take it easy on me, k? ;)

Dax and Kristen?

Did Ted ever reveal if Dax was H.H.?

Charlene said...

This screams Russell Brand. He *is* arguably handsome. He's also British -and until recently (ie. the last week, when precedent was made) prenups were absolutely worthless in English courts - that's why Paul McCartney didn't bother with one.

Until last week, English courts (Scotland has a separate legal system) automatically dismissed and ignored prenups as worthless pieces of paper. Even now after the recent court ruling, prenups are only potentially useful if there are no children.

chibbs said...

I think this is definitely Russell Brand -- because of his recently publicized marriage, and the clue "tight pants" (he always wears tight pants) and the fact that he is really well-known for his "Altar Ego" Aldous Snow from the fake band "Infant Sorrow."
Also he has previously admitted that he was a sex addict.

Sam said...

This can't be Mike Comrie because they have a prenup. Definitely sounds like Russel Brand to me.

mike said...

sounds like brand as well.
the AIA are men linked to pop stars.

nick lachey - jess simpson
nick cannon - mariah

david annable - odette yustman?
not really sure of david dave annable nnable tho,
only connection is that his wife was in a weezer music video.

Unknown said...

I thought RB at first too, but thought that was too obvious. Plus they *just* got married and have been on honeymoon, I don't see him getting the time in. Plus doesn't Ted like Katy? I don't see him calling her stupid. The clues deff point to Russel but I think Ted wants us to think that.
Katy was notted as Strawberry
Joe M is way to hot to even be "arguably" handsome
Carrie and Comrie have a prenup
David was already confirmed a while ago as having a vice, right?

who is left?

Amy said...

Hi - I'm new to this so forgive me if I make some obvious errors - however, I do believe this is pointing to Russell Brand. Firstly, the initials AES - Aldous Snow, who is Brand's well-known Alter Ego. Secondly, I picked up on the use of colossal as a descriptor which makes me think of "Get Him To The Greek". Also, the level of talent and fame would fit - as would the tight pants descriptor and lack of pre-nup. Katy Perry has talked about their sex-life in interviews, which fits the "lover of her life" comments. Further, the blind describes these trysts as taking place in multiple hotels - indicating a couple that are not only recently married/engaged but also travel quite a bit. This would fit Brand as well. Finally, perhaps Ted refers to her as a "stupid girl" because Brand is a self-confessed sex addict, and perhaps Ted's alluding to her naivete in believing Brand had so recently changed.

Jolene Jolene said...

I thought David Schwimmer too but he's already been a BV...supposedly he was Dewbie Stammer.

I can't think of anyone except Russell Brand too, but I have a feeling he'll be notted pretty quickly. Some on the E! boards are guessing Calab Followill from KOL...but eh, they've become so irrelevant, no? I feel like this is pretty standard for Hwood, so for it to be vice-worthy it should be someone interesting. A rockstar cheating on his fiancé/knew wife? Yeah, what else is new...

Jolene Jolene said...

Or what about Carrie Underwood and her new hockey husband? That would be sort of surprising.

Anonymous said...

I don't know how much he fits but it just hit me Joe Francis who just got married. I haven't looked into clues in the article or the AIAs but just a thought. Can anyone relate this to him?

Gina said...

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cirian? It seems like they are upset about being engaged/not engaged/really engaged this time new leaking on them. Thoughts?

AshleyG said...

This might be out there, but altEr is usually the correct spelling, right? Altar is more of a religious altar, I thought.i wonder if there's any significance there, maybe the guy is supposed to be pretty religious or something? Again, might be totally reaching here. I don't think this is RB though, Ted really does like Katy and I don't see him calling her stupid or anything. Also don't think its Joe M., he definitely isn't arguably handsome, and Ted thinks he's gorgeous! I'm trying to think of a couple new guesses. On a side note, I had no idea about John K. and Emily B. cheating, especially openly, is this pretty common knowledge?

Tara said...

Dax Shepard has been confirmed a BV--at least over a year I believe. He was never outed as HH but Ted admitted he had a BV quite some time ago.

Kat Von D and Jesse James are engaged now? I thought they broke up and she was back with Nikki Sixx. Doesn't strike me as one who would care anyway. I don't know if he had a BV, but Sandra did.

Yes--Ted loooooves Katy. So, I wonder how he would react to questions about Russell and her; such as whether he is able to give up his past life and/or how he treats Katy. I think Russell is a viable option for sure. But, I agree with Blurry, it seems like Ted may be alluding to the man being more successful and famous. Katy would not have to worry about money.

**And yes, this last week Ted finally notted Katy for Strawberry Snort'em.

Gabby said...

Tara - Ted said that Jesse James was in a b.v. with Sandra and that both had names. But I agree about the engagement...I thought that was a National Enquirer-type rumor... totally for publicity and no truth in it?

Sunshines1301 said...

First thought was Russell Brand, too. For several of the reasons mentioned and also because when I read "Altar Ego Salami," I thought of a cultural/name twist and India was the first thing that came to mind... Which is where they got engaged and where their wedding festivities were, right?? But that's not absolute proof, that's just where my mind went. The only thing's SO obvious...Ted wouldn't make it that obvious, would he? Well, unlesss it's because he loves Katy so much so he wants everyone to know what an @$$ RB is...

I also considered Dax because David Annable is married to Odette Yustman...who was in "You Again" with Kristen Bell. But the other two AIAs wouldn't make sense with Dax, whereas they do with Brand.


Anonymous said...

Going on AshleyG's vein of Altar = religious, what about that Jonas brother that got married? I guess it wasn't super recent, and I have no idea if he has a prenup or not.

Some might find him attractive (Making him arguably handsome?) and the pictures I've seen typically show him in tight pants. Altar-ego could be a reference to the wholesome image the JB try to portray.

Anonymous said...

I don't think "altar" means he's religious, I think it refers to a wedding altar. I really think this is pointing toward Eddie Cibrian and Leann Rimes. I agree that Ted wouldn't be so harsh with Katy Perry, but he would with Leann I think. And arrogant prick certainly fits for Eddie.

Dev Aaron said...

I really hope it's not Russell Brand. Based on his autobiography, he sounds like a rare celebrity whose stints at both sex and drug/alcohol rehab actually stuck.

But what about Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes? I don't know if he wears tight pants or spends a lot of time traveling, but he cheated on both his wife and LeAnn, and another woman, Sheana Marie.


"Eddie Cibrian’s other mistress calls him a liar ...
**Scheana Marie is the girl closer to the camera** About a month ago (exactly, actually), Life & Style reported that Eddie Cibrian was cheating on his mistress-turned-girlfriend LeAnn Rimes with his other, original mistress Scheana Marie Jancon."

So I think that Eddie has no limits when it comes to how many women he'll get involved with at one time. And he and LeAnn just got engaged.

Hope she goes the prenup route after all!

Valerie Feria - Isacks said...

I like Eddie Cibrian and Leann Rimes for this but some others to consider:

Pink & Corey (spelling?) Hart - they were together then apart then supposedly got remarried. Could also account for ambiguity in posting and "stupid girl" reference.

Kevin Jonas and Danielle ? Married

Bonnie Wright and Jamie Campbell Bower - enagaged

Jennifer Hudson & that reality star who was a player - engaged

Mandy Moore & Ryan Adams engaged

Penelope & Javier Bardem? (don't think it's them but could be and he used to be quite the bachelor)

Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy - engaged

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr - engaged

Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood - engaged

Joe Francis, Christina McLarty - married

Kendra Wilkinson & NFL star Hank Baskett - married

Carrie Underwood & Mike Fisher - married

Seth Rogen & Lauren Miller - engaged

Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minnillo - engaged

Just some ideas to float around.

.debbie. said...

My first thought was Leann and Eddie - once a cheater, always a cheater!

PrincessTiff said...

Could "tight pants" refer to him being a football player?

Rita, Montreal said...

Hey, I too thought of Russel Brand, but Ted would never call Katy stupid, but then again, hey might P.offed for this invite was probably lost in the mail.

However, after today's rants, I believe this is about Leann Rimes and Eddi Cibrian. Before dumping his wife, Eddi was considered quite handwome with dimples, but now, he's nothing but a dog. Leann thought that he is the lover of her life, but leoppards and spotted dirty dogs don't change their spots.

The link with the AIAs is that all are or were married to popular singers, as for David Annable, he just got married as well.

talia said...


Tara said...

I soooooo hope this is Eddie. That would be Karmic retribution of the finest kind.

Anonymous said...

Def Eddie and Leanne. The tight pants might be a notches in the belt type reference as in saying he's been with alot of women, but that's just a guess

Unknown said...

I think that this may be Russell Brand judging by the BB's today, Ted hinted that the marriage may not last.

Kate16 said...

Valerie, is this something to try to get a rise/response for your academic work? or is it unintentional?
A) Nick is an AIA
B) Hugh Dancy and Claire Danes are married
C) Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson broke up three months ago.

That aside, I did like Joe M for this - the dog/he plays a werewolf reference but he's far more than arguably handsome.
I think Katy and Russell are too obvious.

Jolene Jolene said...

Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams got married last year too...

Joe Manganiello is way, way, WAY too hot for this. Ted creams his pants over that guy and won't shut up about it. No. Way.

Kate16 said...

Sorry, talia, Just checked your link. It's definitely Eddie and Leanne. *yawn* I almost wish it was someone else.

Stacey said...

It's totally Russell Brand. I know we don't want it to be, but there's way too many clues pointiing to him.

Anonymous said...

Russell and Katy. No pre-nup, former sex addict. I knew he wouldn't stop whoring around. He's been with every female in the UK. Katy surely can't keep up with that!

Plus, Katy's been saying in interviews lately that he's her soul mate, that Russell will never sleep around again because she's so good in bed, etc. Plus, he said he doesn't need anyone anymore now that he's with Katy. So, to the public, it would be surprising and quite sad if he cheated.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for the double post, but we would probably want the couple to be someone that the media cares about or that we recognize both people involved (more scandalous).

Tight pants is another clue it's Russell. I think maybe Ted wants it to be obvious.

Valerie Feria - Isacks said...

Kate 16 & Jamee.

Using Occam's razor the simplest explanation is most likely the right one. Nick & Nessa were an oops, and with 10 units of maths (which I loathe), Other classes, this projects multiple sites to skim through, housework/married stuff, charity work, paid work, a photography exhibit to promote, and reading all the scientific literature related to gossip/conspiracy theories/rumours I have to read for the class I'm doing this for anyways, the scientific trades related to my actual interests outside this particular class and there just isn't time to keep current on when these celebs get married.

To be honest if I don't hear it on this site, or Ted's blind vices, or from personal friends in showbiz then I just don't hear about it - this unfortunately means I know too much about certain specific people but am WAY behind on the majority of others. Sorry if some of my engaged guesses are now married, those could still fit the vice though. Break up obviously not so much :)

Valerie Feria - Isacks said...

Back to the vice at hand. Sorry for typos or lack of proper names, like I said if they don't work with my friends, or donate to my charities I don't keep up during school term.

Top guesses:

Eddie & Leanne
Katy & Russell
Joe Francis & bimbo
Joe M the werewolf & his girl

I'd also add Kendra & Footballer (cause of tight pants comment & Ted's bitchback re: E! Vicers), as well as Pink & Hart, and Underwood & her sports dude fit as well with the same train of thought as with sports pants being tight as was mentioned before. I'm just trying to partcipate not purposely ruffle feathers, but I am who I am I - which on it's own I'll admit sometimes accidentally does that. Anywho I explained this all in another thread in more detail to Caz the Aussie so if you read that it should clarify anything ya need to know.

I REALLY hope it's not Katy & Russell, but if it is and we find out later at least we know who to blame :)


Anonymous said...

I think Eddie Cibrian + Leann Rimes fit this Vice to a tee. Especially after reading Ted's latest posts on Leann, the one also posted by Talia - "if you read the news (or Blind Vices), you know that chances are slim you'll find a man in Hollywood who's not a total dog." - which actually links to this BV!

That's a pretty obvious clue, but hey, Ted doesn't like the greedy cheaty couple.

All the facts fit in the BV. As for AIA's, in addition to Montreal-Rita's explanations, does David Annable have also some TV show/role in common with Cibrian? I'm also wondering: is Cibrian (or Cibriani) an Italian name? As in, salami... As for tight pants, maybe he's just bursting out of them - or has he ever been on any of those dance shows? (I don't really know the guy, just that he's a dawg :)

The way Ted gushed again about Katie Perry + Russell Brand proves that it's not them for sure - if he had any proof otherwise, he'd surely hint that there's trouble on the way, or else he'd look stupid in the future. Ted likes his "told you so"'s :)

Rachel said...

From today's Bitch Back:

Dear Ted:
How do you feel about Katy Perry? Would you call her stupid?

Dear Branding the Babe:
No, I'd call her naive. Very.

Rita, Montreal said...

Rachel, thought so too, but after a while, I think that was Ted's hinting at Katy Perry's playing with the likes of Lindsay Lohan and surprised at getting played by others for the media.

Naïve, not stupid.

Still think it's Leann

hezilee said...

Hi all, longtime lurker, first time posting!

My problem with Eddie and Leann is that they're claiming they're not actually engaged yet, right? Also, I don't really know anything about Eddie, but wouldn't Leann be the one with more money in that relationship and therefore the one who would need/want a prenup? Also, how does Ted know there's no prenup if the couple JUST got engaged and maybe isn't even publicly engaged yet?

What about Seth Rogen? Ted says "horning around" and he's in the Green Hornet. Does the Green Hornet wear tight pants? I think Seth might already have a BV, so that would eliminate him, and there's the same prenup issue, but it's just a thought.

PrincessTiff said...

Hezilee, Seth might make sense also because I assume he wears skin-tight super hero pants in the Green Hornet.

Jolene Jolene said...

hezilee--That's a good point with Eddie/Leann and the prenup. It's pretty quick to know that they have or have not one yet.

The whole naive Katy thing sort of sounds like this is her to me. But then again, so does the link from the Eddie/Leann story.

And Seth Rogen is already a BV. Bart Farts-a-Lot, I think.

But what about Seth Green? Didn't he just get married? He's not too relevant, but neither is Robin Leach and HE was BV...

Jolene Jolene said...

Oh, and I really don't think Leann is eliminated because she has more money than Eddie. I mean, what the heck has she done lately?? A Lifetime movie? And a Shape cover? Does she even make music anymore?

However, I think Katy is a little too rich to have to sue Russell if this were them.

The Spie said...

Jamee: Ted said that Seth Green will never be a BV, so I'd count him out.

Karen said...

I still think this could definitely be Russell Brand and Katy Perry. First off, in several BVs, Ted gives all major parties involved nicknames even if they aren’t the subject of the vice(i.e. Hornius Thighs, Miss Costar). Even in some cases like Adam Pounce-Prick, where the other person in the vice isn’t famous, they still get a nickname(Miss Priss). My thought is that whoever the girl is in this BV, she probably already has her own BV under another nickname, otherwise Ted would’ve assigned her one. As someone mentioned in the Strawberry Snort-em thread, Ted never actually notted KP, he just said to keep thinking along those lines, or something like that, so KP could still be SSE. If that’s the case, this would fit perfectly for Katy and Russell. Even if it's not them, I still think that this is a case where the wife/fiancée already has her own BV.

Also, I don’t believe this is Eddie and Leann, as much as I’d like to. Even though Ted calls the girl “stupid” he still seems to be on her side, rooting for her to sue him later on. Ted seems to hate Leann just as much as Eddie and I think if it were her, he’d be much harsher toward the woman as well. I also think, given how much he dislikes them, he would’ve made this one a lot more obvious if it was them.

chibbs said...

I kind of agree with Karen's above point that Ted really dislikes Eddie & Leann... I imagine he'd be a lot more rough on the girl in this blind if it were Leann...

PrincessTiff said...

Karen, you bring up a good point that the Mrs. probably has a BV name, but I still don't think it's Katy/Russell. Someone asked Ted if he would ever call Katy stupid and he said no. To me that is case-closed that it is not her. Ted knows how his BV read, so he would remember that he recently referred to someone as stupid.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I love Katy Perry and Russell Brand together, although initially I feared that Russell's sex-addicted past and Katy's mildly wild ways would hinder the relationship. So, do you think they've changed their ways and will last? I surely hope so.

Dear Not-So-Wishful Sinking:
Not going to lie, the nuptials seemed a little too surreal, but totally true. Love, sex, rock n' roll, who cares as long as they're doin' it together, right? Plus, the newlyweds looked super lovable at the 2010 MTV Europe Music Awards in Madrid Sunday. They're glowing and we don't think this sexy ship will be sinking any time soon. At least not before Christmas.

Dear Ted:
How do you feel about Katy Perry? Would you call her stupid?

Dear Branding the Babe:
No, I'd call her naive. Very."

blurry vice said...

I like both the Russell Brand and Eddie Cibrian guesses. Ted has been talking about Eddie and LeAnn alot lately and calling Eddie a dog.

Unknown said...

I can't see this as Eddie Cibrian. One, b/c he is not the wealthy one in that relationship and two, b/c they are planning for a pre-nup.

Seems like Russell Brand to me...or someone else. I can't stand Katy Perry or Russell Brand so I would love for it to be them. Katy Perry talking about how good she is in bed...LOL...makes me think this is the "lover of her life" part. And, as others mentioned...once a "sex addict"....LOL....always a cheater.

blurry vice said...

MsCharles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MsCharles said...

I don't think it is Katy and Russel... For a few reasons one of them being (may sound silly), that the name Salami makes me think of someone Italian or European.... Not English

Also, the comment about the engagement/marriage being splashed all over a celeb site makes me think it is someone who has sold the announcement or pictures...

Guesswho said...

The BI makes it sound like the woman is not very famous (or at least doesn't make as much money as the man). So wouldn't this rule out Brand and Cibrian?

What about Michael Buble? Recently engaged, history of cheating, tours a lot so he's in a lot of hotels. Semi-decent looking. Also, I believe he has some Italian lineage which fits with the "salami" clue. But I don't see any tie-in with the AIAs.

Unknown said...

Tight pants- Russell Brand lives in tight pants! Plus, I'd definitely consider him "arguably handsome". It's Russell for me!

Shelby said...

For me another clue that points to Brand is Ted's use of the word "prick" in his phrase "arrogant (stupid) prick". That's a big British word clue to me.

Snickers Mom said...

In the BB today,
Dear Ted:
In your latest (Bonus) Blind, you called Altar-Ego's fiancée/wife "stupid." Why so harsh? Are you saying she should have known better or is she literally stupid?

Dear Marriage Nonmaterial:
Maybe a little of both? Sorry, Nik, but she definitely shouldn't trust her philandering guy. He's really given her no reason to, after all. And yet she eats up his silver spoon-fed BS. Stupid, huh?

Is Russell Brand considered to have come from a silver-spoon background?

MsCharles said...

It just seems too obvious to be Brand. He's not from a silver-spoon background. He had a pretty sad early life.

Maybe tight pants could allude to something else? Maybe a singer with a high pitched voice? The Blind also makes it sound as though the man is the money-maker.

I do like the Buble guess

Guesswho said...

I really don't think this is Brand (although I think its just a matter of time until he cheats) so I'm still trying to think of alternatives.

Mario Lopez recently announced his engagement to his baby momma. Her last name is Italian, Mazza. This ties into the salami hint. He has a rep for cheating (reportedly cheated on Ali Landry before the wedding, leading the annulment).

He also ties into the AIA's, being a TV host/actor/presenter type.

Not sure about the silver spoon clue, though.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
In your latest (Bonus) Blind, you called Altar-Ego's fiancée/wife "stupid." Why so harsh? Are you saying she should have known better or is she literally stupid?

Dear Marriage Nonmaterial:
Maybe a little of both? Sorry, Nik, but she definitely shouldn't trust her philandering guy. He's really given her no reason to, after all. And yet she eats up his silver spoon-fed BS. Stupid, huh?"

WhoDatGirl said...

Hi all! Just a thought in reference to the silver spoon. Didn't Russell just finish a remake of Arthur? That would surely fit....

stupikitty said...

Jessica Simpson & Eric Johnson? His wearing tight pants alludes to his NFL past, he is from a wealthy family, and, according to Lainey, Jessica is "genetically stupid" and has stated that there "apparantly won't be a prenup". The time frame doesn't fit, since their engagement was just announced, but the other clues do! No? Hmmm.

blurry vice said...

I was thinking Eric Johnson too. Jessica is an idiot for getting engaged to that guy. But in her case, she should get a prenup to protect HER money. Eric has little money, he has no job right now. So he doesn't really fit in that sense.

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Are Strawberry Snort 'Em and her dude from the B.V. still together, or did he send her packing? Does he know about her affinity for all things white?

Dear Strawberry Fields Forever:
They're as together as they ever were. Take that how you will. But he definitely didn't give her the boot, whether that means he knows she enjoys the naughty nose candy from time to time or not.

Read more:

Dear Ted:
Why is Strawberry Snort 'Em so unlucky in love? Is her guy partying all the time or something?
—Patrick F

Dear Luck Favors Prepared:
This honey is not prepared for her beau's sneaky, snoggin' ways as much as she is for his partying. That she can handle, and tag along for!

Read more:

stupikitty said...


I obviously am hoping it's not Katy & Russell!

Caz1310 said...

Leaning towards poor Jess and her latest conquest (do like the salami - Johnson link). I so want to like her but she keeps doing really stoopid things. Such as get engaged and think she'll get to the altar. Doesn't she realise her men aren't that really into her and just want publicity? Surely she learned from the humiliating Tony Romo experience?

BROOKE said...

Someone mentioned Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr. I don't think it's them b/c he's more than arguably handsome IMO. I just wanted to point out that are they still engaged? I thought they got married and have a baby on the way.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I've been thinking about some of the Blind Vices and I have a few ideas. I know that you can't tell me if I am right or wrong, but maybe you could tell me if I am hot or cold? Before you answer, I live on five acres of land and have adopted four cats, two beagles, a hound dog and a chow. Alter Ego Salami is Russell Brand, Strawberry Snort 'Em is Rihanna, Lorin Sniffle Puss is Dianna Agron and Oded Good-Head is Eminem. What can you tell me?

Dear Farmville:
You're extra-guilting me today with all those pooches and pussy cats, Karen, so I'll tell you this: You're warm on one guess but way cold on the rest. I'll leave it up to you to figure out what's what."

Unknown said...

I think Ted has eliminated Russell Brand for this one. It seems none of Karen`s guesses where correct.

The Spie said...

I don't think Ted eliminated Brand for this one. Ted's done this type of thing with collective guesses before, usually by simply not mentioning a correct answer in his response. This time, he did a contrast. One of the guesses has to be "warm" (even "warm" to the point of being correct). We know that the Strawberry and Oded guesses are way cold. That leaves either Agron as Lorin or Brand as Salami as the "warm" guess. You yourself, hordac, said that you thought Ted eliminated Agron as Lorin. That leaves Brand.

This means that Brand is either the right guess or it's very, very close.

By the way, I hate when people do multiple-identity questions. Ted loves to get cutesy with those and muddle the waters.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
This may seem totally out of left field, but do you think it's at all possible that Jessica Simpson is pregnant? And don't you think it's kind of ridiculous

that she's not considering signing a prenup with her currently unemployed fiancé whom she's only dated for six months?

Dear Dumb and Dumber:
Sure, it's possible Jess could be knocked up, but we're going with not likely. Think she wants some sort of career—or rather celebrity—comeback, and step one

is landing a man (especially when that ex of hers who made her a celeb got engaged a week earlier). As for prenup, I don't know what to say anymore. All of

these newlyweds are very, very ignorant."

blurry vice said...

Spie - I totally agree. That was Ted's way of NOT answering. No elimination whatsoever and we really don't get anywhere with any 4 guesses ecept speculation which is the "warm" one which you have, and speculation as to what "warm" means.
I also hate when people ask those multiple people questions. Never a solid answer on those.

Rita, Montreal said...

Has anyone thought of Megan Fox's new hubby? David Silver?

They are very newly married. He is arguable handsome and of some fame. Wedding and honeymoon fairly splashed across mags. He's presently on Desperate Housewives.

And he was known to have cheated QUITE A LOT on her before they surprisingly had gotten married.

Also, Ted has an obvious dislike for his over the top protective/possessive behavior.

Link with AIAs: he also was a singer/rapper... thoughts?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I've been an avid reader for the longest time, and I'm dying to hear some news about my gal, Hilary Duff. I haven't really seen pics of Hil with her new

hubby, well, since their wedding. With all the rumors going around about how the hubster likes to play the "rink," what's really the sitch with these two? I

really hope everything works out for her! xoxo.

Dear Over the Hil:
Believe it or not, Hil actually has a...well, sometimes busy schedule (she's got a book to pimp, at least?) which means she can't always be at her hubby's

side. But don't worry, because she sure as heck isn't. Hilary isn't exactly Eva Longoria, now is she?"

blurry vice said...

Rita - great guess on Brian Austin Green. I do like the other guesses a bit more but way to think out of the box! Could be him. And also Mike Comrie I believe is still in the running. There are too many slimeball suspects for this one! Russell Brand, Eric Johnson, Eddie Cibrian top guesses.

Rita, Montreal said...

thanks Blurry, I did get stock on David Silver... for the life of me couldn't think of his real name!

Need to ask Ted more clarifications. My top guess though is still Russel Brand.

Rita, Montreal said...

And to Blurry, I forgot to notify you sisters that Lainey had officially confirmed the Jen Aniston Blind. Had copied the little paragraph in her post.

Jessi said...

I took Ted's BB with the 4 guesses to be that the "warm" guess was Eminem for Oded since 50 Cent is pretty much assumed to be Oded at this point. Since Eminem helped 50 get started and they are friends I took that as being "warm" meaning the other guesses were notted. Plus he just notted Dianna Agron for Lorin.

Rita, Montreal said...

Oh là! Ted surely confirmed Russell Brand to be a blind today!! If that is so, I vote for Russell for Alter-Ego Salami!

nini said...

That was my BB question that I sent him over a week ago. He also said "Dear Brand New Vice" and the new one today could be RB too. I thought it was weird that he hung on to that question for a week and then posted it. He usually answers my questions the day after I send them. I think it might be a big clue...

nini said...

*I still like RB for AES and if I didn't know when I had sent the question in, I might not have thought of him for the new blind. But that and the fact that he wrote "Dear Brand New Vice" or whatever when answering me made me think about it.

Rita, Montreal said...

No worries Nicole, sometimes Ted doesn't post your question so he wouldn't give direct clues to the Blind. I wrote also over a week ago about Paris Hilton and only posted it yesterday.

Too many of us had written him about Jessica Simpson being Cass Stimulatia or Lucretia Johnson, and how many had he posted? Note how he never answers direct questions on Maribeth Bush's biggest guess, but posted our guess in the new Blind Archives? With him, patience and a long memory are key!

Jolene Jolene said...

Totally Russell Brand. The "Brand New Blind Vice" is such a huge clue for this one. Especially because I don't think he's the new one today--Fernando Tinkle whatever. I think that one is Mario Lopez. :)

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Does Russell Brand have a BV? I'm sure he must...

Dear Brand New Blind:
You think he really told all his dirty secrets in those (amazing) books he wrote? Ha! Once a Vicer always a Vicer, that's what I say."

Unknown said...

Yes, I think we have a winner here with Russell Brand.

blurry vice said...

Yep, seems to be him. We don't have a timeline as for when Russell Brand was not a BV. But Ted said its a new one. So he fits.

I still also think Eddie Cibrian fits also though.

Rita, Montreal said...

Russel fits with the AIAs as well, all 3 were at a time or another with a Pop Star.

Unknown said...

I agree with Jessi that the "warm" clue was for Eminem & Oded Good Head (50 cent). "Way cold on the rest" would mean that RB was notted for AES.

blurry vice said...

No one was "notted" in that answer. You can take an answer as you believe in your heart, but when it comes down to it, there were no clear answers. Ted answers like that ALL The time and we do not accept warm/cold vage answers as eliminations or confirmations.

blurry vice said...

For those who guessed Jason Trawick

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
My friends and I think we have solved the mystery of Altar-Ego it Paul Wesley from The Vampire Diaries? Thanks.
—Georgia Girl

Dear Case Closeted:
Interesting guess, but Altar-Ego is far more edgy than Paul could even dream of being (Vice and all). And AES and his lady's relaysh is actually headline

worthy, ya know."

"Dear Ted:
You recently said that one of my favorite girls Katy Perry was "naive" when it came to her relaysh with Brit boy Russell Brand. I'm wondering if you have

changed your tune about that. Isn't there a possibility she knew exactly what she was getting into? After hearing about her all over John Mayer, pre-Russell,

makes me think the preacher's kid is living up to the reputation. Still think she's a saint?

Dear Bang that Bag o' Bones:
Same tune, but I've always said she knew exactly what she was getting into. We all know Katy is not the epitome of a preacher's daughter, what with her

kissing girls and barely there lolli-outfits. K.P.'s sass makes her Team Truth's saint, but that gullible California girl getup needs to go!"

Rita, Montreal said...

It hit me a few days ago, while talking about Mandy Moore for the Johnson Blind (which she turns out wasn't). This blind could fit her new hubby, that Ryan Adams guy.

They are newly weds, and boy, is she gullible thinking that marriage would change his ways.

As for the AIAs, well, she as well is a/was a popstar.

Anybody has more juice on Ryan Adams?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Maybe it's just me, but something is awfully fishy about Hilary Duff and that new husband of hers. Has she ever been a B.V.?

Dear Call My Duff:
We all know Hil has been a topic of celeb concern in the past. What kind of concern exactly? Who cares! Sure as hell not me these days, no matter how big of a sweetie she is. Sorry someone's gotta say it! And for the record, there's nothing Vicey going on between H.D. and her new hubby. They're very...normal."

- think we can eliminate mike comrie for this

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What do you think of Katy Perry saying she and Russell Brand are the "next Brangelina"? Seems a little delusional, don't you think?

Dear Kussel:
It's a bit loopy, but K.P. loves to make outlandish statements—it's part of her cuckoo charm. Then again, the two couples do have a ton in common. And I wouldn't be surprised if Katy and her hubby got the Brangelina tabloid treatment in the years months to come."

(years was crossed out)

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Since the news about Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpentar broke, I have been trying to find his Blind Vice. Would he perhaps be Altar-Ego Salami?

Dear Does Not a Vice Match:
Sorry hon, Michael is not Altar-Ego. What would make you think that? The Julia Styles rumors? She said herself that they aren't true. Now why don't you believe her? "

Guesswho said...

Joe Francis just announced his divorce after just a few weeks of marriage. Someone guessed him earlier in the comments. He was married in early November so the timing is right. He definitely fits the negative tone Ted has towards him as he's generally regarded as a douche. But I'm not sure about his "talent" or whether his engagement/marriage was high profile enough. I would also be amazed if he didn't sign a prenup as he is quite wealthy and given his legal problems I would think he would consult with a lawyer for everything.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Just read your piece on Leann Rimes' boob job. What? No comment about how painfully thin she is? Seems as though she's pretty desperate to keep that loser fiancé' of hers. Then again, she's equally as pathetic as he is. Her behavior and physical changes since hooking up with that loser just scream low self-worth. She's in for a rude awakening. What comes around goes around, LeAnn darling.

Dear Good Point:
Why do I need to say it when you blabbed it all for me? Good point, M, and totally agree. As I've said a dozen times before: once a cheater, always a cheater. True, that applies to both L and E, but let's face it, Cibrian is the most likely candidate to stray."

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Russell Brand makes my skin crawl. I want to scrub myself with a Brillo pad after seeing photos. I can't imagine he is any better in person. Can you tell me what attracts people to him? I am assuming poor Katy Perry took a hard bump to the head and will come around.

Dear Branded by Brand:
You might not like Brand's appearance, but you can't deny the guy has done some good. After all, he is sober and Katy admits Russell has been a great influence on her life. The two seem head-over-heels in love and we hope they live as happily ever after as they seem! Now that that obligatory crap's outta the way, couldn't agree with you more."

David said...

OK, so this has to be Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson. The clues fit, the timing's right, and Ted's said pretty much straight out that Vicey behaviour contributed to their split. I've emailed him to ask this one straight out - but I won't hope for an answer too much!

David said...

Oh yes, forgot to mention - the thing that seals it for me is the no-prenup clue. It's being widely rumoured that Ashlee is planning to take Pete to the cleaners as they didn't sign one. The "tight pants" fit too!

blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

Yes, could be Pete Wentz too...

blurry vice said...

Update - this most likely is NOT Pete Wentz, since he is top suspect for Humpy Harlow. And after today's BV, our suspictions of Vicky Vamp Void as Ashlee Simpson is even more likely.

So... Top suspects still Russell Brand and Eddie Cibrian.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You've insinuated that Russell Brand and Katy Perry are headed for trouble. Care to elaborate? I loved both of Brand's books, and I hope he's taking his

sobriety (from all things illicit) seriously.

Dear Newly Fed Up:
Yes, I was assuming there was some s--t stirring in love-bird land between those two, but Brand seemed to really miss her during the Oscars and has been

taking in any time he can get with Katy before she fully dashes off on her world tour. Maybe there's some hope here, after all? Then again, while the Katy

Kat's away, let's just hope her man rat doesn't play."

blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I'm getting so annoyed with this Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo lovefest I keep reading about in all the tabloids. I remember three years ago Nick was

caught with Matt Leinart and some coeds in a hot tub. Vanessa never made a fuss. Is this the true nature of their happiness? Nick does what he wants and

Vanessa gets a place to live and tabloid stardom? There is no way their relationship is as perfect as they are trying to project. Find some dirt on these two

instead of Jessica Simpson all the time.

Dear Bad Guys:
Hate to break it to ya, M, but the reason there isn't a lot of dirt on these two is that they really are quite boring. Boring in Hollywood, means semi-

normal. Actually think Nick and Vanessa have what it takes to last. Much more than Jessica and her fiancé, trust."

blurry vice said...


Dear Ted:
I'm really concerned about Russell Brand. I've noticed that he is getting more and more gaunt and very temperamental in behavior. I really like him, and

considering his well publicized problems with substance abuse, I hope he hasn't fallen off the wagon. Russ seams like a great fella, and I hope for the best

for him.

Dear Worried:
I got the feeling Russ cleaned up, substance-wise, after becoming attached to Katy Perry, no? At first I totally thought these two would be explosive

together. Then, Russell got all lovey-dovey over her and he seemed to be looking better than usual. I haven't noticed him slipping up more than his standard.

But who knows, maybe Katy's got some Vicey behavior and it is not helping Russ break his?"

blurry vice said...

Russell BRand

BV SS Gallery -
Russell had no problem airing out a lot of his dirty laundry, via books, his stand-up, his rep—whatever—but just ‘cause he's Katy Perry's hubby doesn't mean this bad boy is fully reformed. And while Russ' potty mouth may still get him in trouble these days, isn't it funny his lips remain sealed regarding his dirtiest Vices?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
The Rock of Ages set is just teeming with Vices! So who's got the biggest and most infamous of them all: Tom Cruise, Russell Brand or Alec Baldwin? Glad you

quit smoking. It's just plain gross and doesn't suit you.
—K Bronxville, N.Y.

Dear Vice of Ages:
Funny enough, the only one not in the Blind Vice Superstars gallery. But that's not surprising to you, babe. At least, I hope not."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I have been paying particularly close attention to your recent Blinds, and I have to know: Is Carmelita Salami-Climber related to Alter Ego Salami? I just

need to know. Love you, doll.

Dear Pig Roast:
Happy to tell ya, doll: No, they're not related. In fact, I'm not sure if they've ever even met before. If they have, it would have been a blink-and-ya-miss

-it encounter at one of the swanky award shows they're always at.

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Russell Brand's tribute to Amy Winehouse at the MTV VMAs was really good! How is he doing? Is he still clean, or does he have a Vice about him still doing

drugs? That would be really sad seeing as he said people can get clean.

Dear High on Life:
It was nice to see Russell talk about his longtime pal (his written words were pretty touching too), so I'm happy to report he's clean as a whistle. At

least, when it comes to dubious drugs. As I'm sure you already know, Brand (and his wifey-poo too) are Blind Vice Superstars. He's just not in there for

anything illegal.

blurry vice said...

Eric Johnson?

"Dear Ted:
What's the real deal with Jessica Simpson and her fiancé, Eric Johnson? He doesn't seem to do much other than follow her around. Something's not right! And

his ex-wife was a stunner! Poor Jessica...and Papa Joe!

Dear Never a Bride:
Unfortunately, it doesn't look like Jess is set for another round of wedded reality TV bliss. Well, at least from the whispers I'm hearing. Which makes it

très tragic, as all Ms. Simpson really wants in life is to land a solid man."

Jackie DuPlante said...

This sounds way more like Russel Brand than Eddie Cibrian. For one, Eddie is not arguably handsome, he is obviously very good looking, and not everyone thinks Russel is that good looking. Also, Russel is an actor but he also sings (like he did in Get Him to the Greek) which goes with the And It Aints. He wears tight pants on a regular basis, uses the word 'prick' regularly, and Ted doesn't like Leann Rimes so I doubt he would sound so sympathetic and supportive of the girl if it was her.. I don't think Eddie Cibrian even comes close to Russel Brand on this one. Even the thing about the prenup makes sense because Russel is British.

anony_2 said...

Dear Ted:
About a year ago you ran a Blind Vice about Altar-Ego Salami. Any updates on his cheatin' ways? Is he currently married and if so, does the Mrs. know that he is sharing his, um, salami with others?

Dear Cheater Cheater Lady Eater:
Oh, he tied the knot all right. And his wifey definitely does not know what he's up to behind her back. It would break her poor, dimwitted heart. She's actually thinks he's into the whole monogamy thing.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
About a year ago you ran a Blind Vice about Altar-Ego Salami. Any updates on his cheatin' ways? Is he currently married and if so, does the Mrs. know that he

is sharing his, um, salami with others?

Dear Cheater Cheater Lady Eater:
Oh, he tied the knot all right. And his wifey definitely does not know what he's up to behind her back. It would break her poor, dimwitted heart. She's

actually thinks he's into the whole monogamy thing.

Dear Ted:
I'm just following up on your recent revelation that Altar-Ego Salami did get married and is still cheating on his clueless sweetie. My question is, what was

Salami's motivation for getting married in the first place? Is he just playing the fame game? Or did he have good intentions to begin with?

Dear Horny Hubby:
The mister is in love with the wifey, all right, but that doesn't mean he's not in lust with a buncha other chicks, too."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You recently said Altar-Ego Salami's "dimwitted" better half has no idea about his wayward ways, but he does "love" her. Why so clueless? Is she too busy to notice? Could she know but doesn't let anyone know that? Maybe she's a realist, or maybe he's told her his lust will eventually lose steam, but love is forever (and she believes him)?

Dear Get a Clue:
Because infamy rarely, if ever, equals intelligence."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Seeing LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian's attention-grabbing Halloween pics, I have to wonder: Are they Vicers? They seem as though there would be all sorts of
skanky secrets hidden in that relationship!

Dear Mrs. Obvious:
Hardly, Lyn. These two pretty much air all their naughty tabloid biz themselves—hello, have you peeped LeAnn's twitter. But if you need more juice, just
watch this season's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Eddie's ex wifey Brandi Glanville is a gossip junkie's wet dream."

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Any thoughts on the Katy Perry/Russell Brand divorce rumors? I know they are denying it but with all of their past and (maybe) present Vicey behavior, it

seems possible that their marriage really could be on the rocks!

Dear Till Vice Do Us Part:
This couple hardly keeps their past a secret from one another, so that's a non-issue with these two. And while their current secrets could be a bit nastier,

they aren't splitting. Believe it or not, these two will try extra hard to make their marriage stick before giving up."

Dorothy said...

I havent been reading Ted's column all that long, will he reveal this now that they've split? TMZ reported the divorce documents indicate there is not a prenup also per the blind.

blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

also see discussion in the strawberry snort-em post re divorce.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I totally disagree with whose more to blame in the Russell Brand-Katy Perry split. I think although Russell has a past, Katy seems like the more immature one

that couldn't compromise and balance being a star with something that might have had more of a shelf life than a pop career. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a

big Russell fan either but your loyal readers (myself included) know exactly which Vice is Katy's. So I think it's safe to say the split is way more her


Dear Get Off Your High Horse:
You might think you know Katy's Vice, but do you know Russell's? If you did, I'm sure you'd see things a bit differently."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I know you seem to side with Katy Perry in her problems, but I'm with Russell Brand on the divorce. I think he made the right decision. I think his refusing to take any of her money speaks volumes. When I read on People's site that Katy signed her divorce papers with a smiley face, it just seems to me to be an indication of immaturity and insensitivity. It's a legal document that represents something sad, something breaking down and ending. Adding a smiley face is so inappropriate.
—Miss P

Dear Turn That Frown Upside Down:
Alright, so maybe a smiley face on court documents is a bit much, but maybe Katy's just trying to make the best of a sad situation. Divorce is a difficult thing to deal with, so let's give her a pass on this one, ‘kay P? It's not like Russell is Mister Innocent here. So here's to hoping everybody can finally move on and live happy lives. While I love me some juicy goss, the romantic in me would much rather discuss steamy new relayshes than heartbreak. You?

Dear Ted:
This might be a bit of a cheeky question, but is Altar-Ego Salami only after the ladies, or does in he lust after the occasional gentleman? And will we be hearing about his prolific conquests in public anytime soon, or will he be keeping his exploits undercover?

Dear Salami's Sausage Party:
He tends towards the ladies (and very frequently, might I had), but I wouldn't be surprised if he's crossed swords at some point in his lustful—and oft substance filled—past. As for the broads he beds, you've already heard about some of them, I'm sure."

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
You have hinted that Russell Brand was bad for Katy Perry and that she is better off without him. He spoke recently about drug addiction and drug policy. He

spoke both candidly and eloquently and made valid arguments regarding the nature of addiction and recovery. Which makes me wonder: Russell appears smart,

self-aware, drug-free and without ego, so what made him so bad for Katy?

Dear Just Say No:
It has nothing to do with drug use, past or present, Bon. As for the latter, there is no present drug use, as far as I'm aware—Russell is clean (which also

clears him in that regard when it comes to his Vice habits). Russell and Katy just had very different outlooks on life and, as much as they loved each other,

probably weren't ready for everything that came with tying that knot."