One Domestically Disturbed Blind Vice - November 23, 2005
Everybody adores Madeline Max-It, 'cause girlfriend has the shit goin' on. Mads went from being a plain, mousy gal to a svelte superstudstress. Hit endeavors, a hottie partner and a family unit helped seal the deal for the curvy babe, whose detractors round Hollywood were simply seething over the fact that M.M.I. seems to have just a little too much of a good thing. Well, those naysayers can relax. Not only is Mad's spouse more partial to the types who, say, fill out pants a little better than does our Madeline (however, M. sports them as best as any femme does, must say), but more and more folks are getting hip to the extramarital fact that is Mads and her hunky costar Mike Mouthful. Yep, you got it: Mads apparently doesn't mind so much when her hubby cheats with the fellahs, thanks to Mike's sizable offscreen shenanigans (on par with those onscreen, to be sure). But Mads and Mikey sure better be more selective about where they tongue--and digit--wrestle. Too many parties are starting to serve them up, verbally speaking, before and after the raspberry-and-chocolate soufflé.
And It Ain't: Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora; Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards; Courteney Cox/David Arquette
No one else was eliminated in Ted's mailbag for this.
Top suspects were: Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick/Chris Noth, Reese Witherspoon/Ryan Phillipe/Joaquin Phoenix, Kelly Preston/John Travolta