Sunday, November 14, 2010

VINTAGE BV: Madeline Max-It, Mike Mouthful

Doing our weekly vintage Blind Vice .... this time flashing back to November 2005.  Again for those who are new, we dig up the old ones because Ted only gives each celeb one nickname.  So we are trying to piece together who is who.

One Domestically Disturbed Blind Vice - November 23, 2005

Everybody adores Madeline Max-It, 'cause girlfriend has the shit goin' on. Mads went from being a plain, mousy gal to a svelte superstudstress. Hit endeavors, a hottie partner and a family unit helped seal the deal for the curvy babe, whose detractors round Hollywood were simply seething over the fact that M.M.I. seems to have just a little too much of a good thing. Well, those naysayers can relax. Not only is Mad's spouse more partial to the types who, say, fill out pants a little better than does our Madeline (however, M. sports them as best as any femme does, must say), but more and more folks are getting hip to the extramarital fact that is Mads and her hunky costar Mike Mouthful. Yep, you got it: Mads apparently doesn't mind so much when her hubby cheats with the fellahs, thanks to Mike's sizable offscreen shenanigans (on par with those onscreen, to be sure). But Mads and Mikey sure better be more selective about where they tongue--and digit--wrestle. Too many parties are starting to serve them up, verbally speaking, before and after the raspberry-and-chocolate souffl√©. 
And It Ain't: Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora; Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards; Courteney Cox/David Arquette

No one else was eliminated in Ted's mailbag for this.
Top suspects were: Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick/Chris Noth, Reese Witherspoon/Ryan Phillipe/Joaquin Phoenix, Kelly Preston/John Travolta


Unknown said...

Could it be Eva Longoria ?

Anonymous said...

This sounds SOOO much like SJP and MB. She def started out plain and mousy (her characters in Square Pegs and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun) then went to svelte in SitC. Matthew has always been rumored to like the guys. And they had their kid in 2002, hence the family unit. And timing wise, they both had way-hyped movies coming out in Dec 2005 - The Producers for Matthew and The Family Stone (with Diane Keaton and a bunch of famous people in the cast) for SJP. And of course, she was always rumored to be bonking Noth on the side.

The only thing that doesn't fit exactly is calling her a curvy babe, although she did still have boobs in 2005.

Anonymous said...

What about Kate Winslet?

Unknown said...

i was thinking liv tyler or maybe jennifer connelly for this??

blurry vice said...

sandra bullock? was she with jesse james at this point? dont have time to investigate.

Savannah said...

I'm surprised no one has brought up the potential "sizable offscreen shenanigans (on par with those onscreen, to be sure)." clue. SIZABLE is a synonym for BIG, which was the name of Noth's character on Sex and the City and could point to Sarah Jessica and Matthew Broderick.

Gina said...

Would it be Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas? I say CZJ because she was in that No Reservations movie with Aaron Eckhart (sic?), about chefs (hence the souffle comment) with big personalities. Thoughts?