Friday, November 5, 2010

Awful Truth's BV Archive - Super Duper Cooper

Ted's created another chapter of his archive - this one to go along with today's BV, good ole Super Duper Cooper.

Time to bring back and oldie and stinky B.V. creep monster.
Room for SquaresRemember Super-Duper Cooper? He's a poop on ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy. Not to mention his verbal diarrhea of the mouth only makes us wonder how the hell he is still able to bed tons of Hollywood beauties. Especially considering his post-coital behavior...
The Perp: Super-Duper Cooper
Primary Vice: Douchebag
Blind Bio: Celebrity whose manners are as disgusting in private as they are in public. This dude is a notorious womanizer, no secret there, but the way he mixes his bedroom and bathroom behavior sure might surprise some folks. And his thank-you to a select few gals? Forcing his conquests he accidentally knocks up to get abortions, including his famous, slightly cheap ex-girlfriend.

Top suspect: John Mayer.  See below for our other posts on SDC including our full list of eliminations.

8 comments:

roseyf said...

The abortion-getting, famous, slightly cheap ex-girlfriend is Jessica Simpson, correct? I'd heard the rumor before but the "slightly cheap" part is throwing me off. I didn't watch her reality show - was she stingy on there or something?

Joanne said...

I think "slightly cheap" may refer to low classy, rather than stingy.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
My mutt Oz loves the Six Degrees of Vicers game! My question for him: Does Super Duper Cooper know Probe Light? Have they toured together? Imagine the duels of ego/kink backstage at those shows!
—Doc and Oz

Dear Dr. Light It Up:
Just barely. Woof woof to Ozzie!

Dear Ted:
Any chance Super-Duper Cooper is Justin Timberlake?
—Mugrat

Dear Stinky:
Nope, but have you seen the trailer for his new flick Friends With Benefits with Mila Kunis. Now that crap needs a popper-scooper, for real!

Dear Ted:
Just read Super-Duper Cooper's latest Blind Vice, and wow. Disgusting! That is by far the grossest Blind Vice ever. So do you think if he and Cass Stimulatia hooked up they would (a) be a good match and (b) totally shock the gossip world? And who is more famous?
—Nic

Dear Barf Bagger:
Cass doesn't do greasy guys like Super anymore. But oh, was there ever a time she did! No one would be shocked if they did date, but like I said, ain't happening."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer always seemed like an odd pairing. But was their relationship unique to John? Did he treat her differently than his other conquests? He seems to have a lot of respect for her, at least in the public eye...
—I don't get what she was thinking

Dear Leopard Don't Change It's Spots:
I think Jen was different in the sense that she was one of the more confident and powerful femme's John nailed. Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love-Hewitt, not so much. Aniston knew what she was getting into and set her own rules. That's probably why it didn't work out between them. That, and Mayer's a skank."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Thanks for answering my question this week! Oz was so happy to see his name in print! What do you think about John Mayer and Giada de Laurentiis? How in the world does skanky John get all these Hollywood women to fall into bed with him? Is he packing major heat, fulfilling a certain kink or promising the moon? I just don't see the appeal of sleeping with him, when you know by extension you're sleeping with half of Hollywood (and probably half the country too).
– Doc

Dear Baffled:
Well, the Giada stuff apparently didn't happen (Star doesn't exactly have the best track record, do they?). But you're point is still valid. I think he's got the bad-boy-slash-sensitive-musician thing packaged right, and most girls think they can be the one to change him. It's not like the dude is ugly. He's just definitely not my type..."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
During their brief fling (can you even call it that?), did Taylor Swift ever find out about John Mayer's dirty, Vicey ways?
—Hannah

Dear Flung Off:
Uh, hardly a fling. Tabloid rumors and the most minor of fascinated flirtation does not a torrid affair make. Which also means that no, Tay is still in the

dark on JM's BV—or else that "Dear John" song would have been to a whole different tune."

Felix said...

Dear Ted:
Just have a quick guess for Oded Good-Head. John Mayer? Always had a feeling part of him was liking the boys.
—H

Dear Sing It Loud:
Wrong Vice for Johnny boy. His is of a much different nature.

blurry vice said...

john mayer

"Dear Ted:
Just have a quick guess for Oded Good-Head. John Mayer? Always had a feeling part of him was liking the boys.
—H

Dear Sing It Loud:
Wrong Vice for Johnny boy. His is of a much different nature."

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