One Shooting Star Blind Vice

New BV from Ted Casablanca - Awful Truth from Eonline -

One Shooting Star Blind Vice

Brain-Fry Noodlestein's completely brilliant at what he does—or rather, did. Dude's throwing it all away—friends, family, well-respected career—'cause he's hooked on the hard stuff. Much harder stuff than Smokey Shooter would ever consider.

Heroin, babes. And lots of it.

Think the well-worn veins of lascivious ladies Fake à La Ferocity and Morgan Mayhem have the hard drug market cornered in H'wood? Please, Brain-Fry's beating them at their own miserable game, and he's barely even trying. But his buds sure as hell are:

BFN's best amigos, understandably, are up all night either worrying about their depressed friend or following his every move, just in case he hits even lower—an overdose? Jail time?

It's all a likely possibility with Noodle's don't-give-a-damn behavior. They thoughtnothing compared to seeing Brain-F injecting H right in front of 'em, which is now a matter, of course, for the iconoclast dude.

Makes us seriously suspect how much these so-called friends care about Brainy's livelihood—or life—they'd already seen him at his worst (professionally, at least, as did many others). But it was when they could easily nab the drugs out of his shaky hands. But knowing BFN, he'd just find it through some other fame hanger-on who doesn't give an ef. God knows there are enough of those in T-town to go around.

Brain-Fry really should know better, as he's seen this stuff happen before. Which is prolly what made him so depressed to begin with. Britney's public meltdown is just gonna seem like a hissy fit by the time B.F.'s done self-destructing. Believe us on this one.

And It Ain't: Billy Bob Thornton, Jared Leto, Kanye West

* Our top guess: Joaquin Phoenix.

* Update April 10: Ted has eliminated Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Jason Goldberg, Mickey Rourke, Jason Schwartzman.

Lainey - His and Her Anorexia

New riddle from Lainey Gossip today, Feb 26 2009 -

His and Her Anorexia

A surprise power player in Hollywood, his wife has always been little. But nowadays it’s his extreme thinness that is raising eyebrows. What used to be extreme controlling behaviour on set has now spilled over into his personal life, and he’s applied the same obsessive devotion to his physique, so much so that it’s become alarming.

Not that it’s uncommon in Hollywood for married couples to share aesthetic philosophies but these two have taken it to the extreme. Counting almonds together – no more than 15 a day. And an apple and some berries max. Two to three hours at the gym. Constant colonics. Every month a three day cleanse consisting of some watered down pre-mix and nothing else. Dairy is out the question, bread hasn’t been seen in a year, diuretics of course, and if the household staff make the mistake of bringing in forbidden foods without their permission – like on their own lunch hours, how unforgiveable – well look the f-ck out. You have never felt the fury of a hungry person tempted by a minion.

Thing is, she wants another baby. And has been told it’s best to relax on the stringent diet. So while she’s trying to tiptoe over to a more normal nutritional meal plan, he’s not only been reluctant, he’s also been much more distant, spending longer hours away from home, and seeming to avoid her calls when he’s at work. Like he’s afraid her healthy weight is contagious. Or something.

His behavior is also apparently getting more and bizarre. Lately he’s taken to getting onto the floor in the backseat of his chauffeured car and lying down the entire ride, crouched down, totally paranoid, even with the blacked out windows, even though he’s hardly a major pap target. He’s also borderline freakish about changing his contact information every few weeks so no one can find him.

As his schedule gets more and more overwhelming, wearing several hats at a time, those around him are wondering if he’s starting to lose it …

* Update March 6 - Lainey has eliminated Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony, Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher, Ellen DeGeneres & Portia De Rossi, Courteney Cox and David Arquette, Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick, Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes, Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz, Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin, Keira Knightley & Rupert Friend, Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith, Harrison Ford & Calista Flockhart, Judd Apatow & Leslie Mann (but warmish).

**March 17: Solved: Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor

Page Six- Just Asking

February 24, 2009 --
WHICH actor snorted cocaine in the bathroom during an Oscar after-party, while a slimmed-down stoner actor smoked pot outside with his pals? . . . WHICH morning cable TV show hostess took off a week recently to get her eyes done and her breasts enlarged? . . . WHICH aviation honcho is trying to knock down rumors he shacked up with a young hottie who works for him while his pregnant wife was back home and clueless?

Blind Vice: Another Gay Hunk Bites the Dust

New from Ted Cansablanca Awful Truth Feb 20:

Blind Vice: Another Gay Hunk Bites the Dust


Judas Jack-Off is a stunningly beautiful star. Gorgeous hair, supple muscles, good pro résumé, too. He's also as hot as he is coy and conniving. But by comparison, let's just say J.J. makes our ever-shy, closeted movie idol Toothy Tile look like an out-and-out saint of gay liberation and openness.
See, Judas, a gangly type with flat abs and the concrete ass to go with it, was planning on marrying his boyfriend. Out of the country, mind you, but marriage just the same. To a man! You know, one of those big gay ceremonies that probably makes Ken Starr think about popping pills again.
Huge prob: Judas' myriad fans would have gone ape-crap over this happy Romeo-and-Romeo fact had they ever found out, which is exactly why Judas—at his representatives' behest—went ahead and...
...not only dumped his partner and fiancé, but he took up with his latest leading lady instead. Jeez, how 2008, already.
And all because a pile of veteran Hollywood starmakers told J.J. that his way-decent career would become about as relevant as Lindsay Lohan's alcohol ankle monitor should he get hitched to the BF. And I can't decide which is the best part of all, that every tabloid around is buying J.J.'s just-pumped-up fake romance, or that Judas had the (typical) ass-wipe nerve to go back to the poor, dumped boyfriend and want sex.
What is it about dudes and dogs? So seldom can you tell the diff.
It Ain't: Joe Jonas, Robert Pattinson, Jake Gyllenhaal

* For Judas Jack Off: Ted has eliminated as of 6/29/12 - Joe Jonas, Robert Pattinson, Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Reynolds, Zac Efron, Milo Ventimiglia, Chad Michael Murray, Kellan Lutz, Taylor Kistch, Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Orlando Bloom, Zac Efron, Benjamnin McKenzie, Brandon Routh, Ryan Seacrest, Michael C. Hall, Robert Buckley, Keanu Reeves, Ed Westwick, Ryan Reynolds, Bradley Cooper, Gale Harold, Matt Dallas, Nick Jonas, Tom Welling, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Josh Peck, Lance Armstrong, Matthew McConaughey, Owen Wilson, George Eads, Jared Leto, Mario Lopez, Hugh Jackman, Tom Sturridge, Taylor Lautner, Vince Vaughn, Leonardo DiCaprio, Shane West, Jason Manns, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Wentworth Miller, Sean Pyfrom, Penn Badgley, Matt Bomer, George Clooney, Alexander Skarsgard,Tom Hardy

* Eliminated for Dashed Dingle Dream (boyfriend) as of 8/21/11: J.C. Chasez, Joshua Jackson, Michael Rosenbaum, Drake Bell, Robert Pattinson, Austin Nichols, Colin Farrell, Lukas Haas, Ashton Holmes, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Luke Macfarlane, Penn Badgley, Sean Pyfrom, Hunter Parrish.


* * * Ted says JJO was NOT born in the USA.

Please use the labels below to read our posts on the other JJO/DDD BVs.

* OUR TOP SUSPECTS: Hayden Christensen and ?

NYDN Gatgecrasher - 2.18.09

WICKED WHISPER: Which F-list celeb had an abortion six months ago? We hear she's still not sure who the father was.

Page Six - Just Asking - 2.18.09

From NY Post today -

February 18, 2009 --

WHICH movie producer is finding out bad habits die hard? Despite being married, he asked a gorgeous, dark-haired woman back to his hotel for a "late-night private audition" after a dinner at the Berlinal Film Festival. As the actress accepted, look for her to appear in his upcoming pictures . . . WHICH kooky fashion figure asked for illegal substances on her contract rider? She said in order for her to appear at a fashion show, she needs two bottles of Cristal and "cocaine - a lot of it."

Lainey - 2/13/08 - Karmic Cuckold?

He’d been cheating on her for years. She had his babies, she endured the other women, she let him back in the door every time he ran away, only to come slinking back with apologies.

For a while now though he has stayed at home. More mature, done with that life, he’s now completely committed to her, ready to take the next step…

Problem?

It’s her turn to be unfaithful. And not only with a random but with someone he knows. More importantly, someone he trusts. Worse – it’s no secret. They’re all aware, all around them, except for him. And everyone is bracing for drama. Because what started as a purely physical affair has turned into one sided love. The other man wants more, is willing to fight for it, putting her in the middle. He’s threatening to blow it all wide open, she’s begging him to calm down, but he’s pressuring her to come clean.

She wants to stay with the father of her children who is oblivious to it all but who they say will surely take off immediately when and if he finds out. Love double standards!

Comments?

* Update February 25 - Lainey has eliminated Johnny Depp, David Duchovny, Ben Affleck, Chris Martin, Patrick Dempsey, Russell Crowe, Susan Sarandon/Tim Robbins, Julia Roberts, Sean Penn/Robin Wright Penn, Cindy Crawford/Rande Gerber.

* Our top suspect: Mark Wahlberg, who Lainey has hinted for this riddle.

One Father Knows Breasts Blind Vice

New BV from Ted...

One Father Knows Breasts Blind Vice

Schlong Sleaze-Wad has been in the news on and off, and as with most of the tabloid targets—it ain't good. Schlong's a somewhat happily taken hetero (too hetero) dude who just can't keep it in his trousers. Lotsa folks in Tinseltown know it, including Schlong's wife.

And even though notorious Schlongy appears to be residing back on Domesticity Lane, something he's been trying so-so hard to get everybody to believe, we ain't buying it. See, aside from luring at costars or any female with ta-tas on the set, we know S2's past (and present). He likes 'em young. Almost the kind of young that'll legally get ya in trouble, which surely very nearly happened when...

Mr. Sleaze-Wad struck yet again.

Clearly, Schlongy thinks that just because he's famous, endowed and not butt ugly, this means every woman within spitting distance of his constantly semierect package should break down, bow and submit to his every nasty desire.

Like when he just tricked a barely legal babe who works in entertainment, offering to go out to lunch with him so he could further "mentor" her career. Before she knew it, they were sneaking around on the job, making out in every dark corner they could find. But once the quasi-brain-dead babe came to her senses, she realized the man in her arms was (a) married, (b) probably diseased in some sort or another and (c) not at all interested in discussing Rob Pattinson's next career move or Britney's way better extensions.

So she ended the somewhat heated fling, which had, thus far, only included heavy French smooching, serious groping and no mentoring whatsoever, quelle surprise.

Gosh, Professor Prick, how could you let one of your students down so?

And it ain't: Kevin Dillon, Peter Facinelli, Chris Brown

.Update April 20 - Ted has eliminated Kevin Costner, Warren Beatty, Ben Affleck, Bruce Willis, Will Smith, Mel Gibson.

NYDN Gatecrasher - 2.12.08

WICKED WHISPERS: Which pro athlete's actress-girlfriend is going to be less than pleased when she discovers he's sleeping with college girls on the side?

Rihanna/Chris Brown

First of all I love Rihanna and hope she is OK and now am no fan of Chris Brown's.
Anyway, I have been short on time, but wondering if there was a past blind item that may have been about them? Now people are coming out saying there were signs of abuse months ago. I know there was a Lainey riddle about domestic abuse a few years ago, that was possibly about Madonna and Guy Richie. So no one bring up that one (too long ago). Comment if you remember any recent BI's that could pertain to them...

Check out this great post over at Gosselins Without Pity

Ever wonder how reality TV's greatest scammers have pulled one over on all their gullible 'fans'? Here is a great recap on how it all happened. Read and be enlightened on how 'Kon', two unemployed parents, have made millions from the filming of their 8 kids. The 'Greedslins' have inspired the latest pop culture famewhore: OCTOMOM!! And so it goes....

One No-Shame Same-Sex Blind Vice

New blind vice from Ted Casablanca today...

One No-Shame Same-Sex Blind Vice

This baby's sure to break a lotta hearts out there. Now, it's certainly not news that Nevis Divine is undeniably sexy. He's got a steady following from fans and paparazzi to a bevy of nearly naked gals, all vying for a piece of luscious Nev's sorta hairy frame.
But as so often is the case with the hugely slobbered set, Nevis doesn't always look to the chicks to ignite his fire. In fact, we very nearly could have a potential Toothy Tile on our hands, 'cause just like old beloved Tooth, boy Divine was once as carefree with his attraction to guys as he now is with the fairer sex:
Nevis has been famous for a while now, but his white-hot infamy's only recently been building. And we just learned that only a couple of years ago, N.D. showed up to a very prominent Industry function, and as his date, brought along another man. Love this dude's nerve! As N.D. introduced his non-famous plus one, Nevis-babe was sure to label his companion a boyfriend, while the two were nonchalantly "couply" all evening, say those who hang with Mr. D now as they did then.
And no, we're most decidedly not saying this was a boy-date who was simply a friend, but a friend with nooky benefits, for sure. Pals close to our semicloseted heartthrob claim that N.D. would "fool around" with guys sometimes, but that he considered it "no big deal."
Which is ironic because, really, it isn't. At least, not until one of those fooler-arounders heads to the nearest checkbook-dispensing tabloid office.
And it ain't: Robert Buckley, Corbin Bleu, Penn Badgley

* List of eliminated as of 2/11/12 - Robert Buckley, Corbin Bleu, Penn Badgley, John Mayer, Daniel Radcliffe, Zac Efron, Shia LeBeouf, Justin Bartha, Bradley Cooper, Simon Baker, Kevin Connolly, Matt Dallas, Dwayne Johnson, Gerard Butler, Kellan Lutz, Chace Crawford, Hugh Jackman, Viggo Mortensen, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Ed Westwick, Emile Hirsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Hugh Grant, Diego Luna, James Franco, Tom Sturridge, Ben Barnes, George Clooney, Jake Gyllenhaal, Will Smith, Jim Sturgess, James McAvoy, Stephen Moyer, Ryan Kwanten, Ryan Reynolds, Edward Norton, David Boreanaz, Sebastian Stan, Olivier Martinez, Michael Cera, Eric Bana, Hayden Christensen, Mike Myers, Alex O'Loughlin, Keanu Reeves, Joshua Jackson, Hugh Jackman, Channing Tatum, Colin Farrell, Austin Nichols, Rodrigo Santoro, Ryan Gosling, Jude Law, Daniel Radcliffe, Austin Nichols, Paul Wesley, Ed Westwick, Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr, Adrian Grenier, Channing Tatum, Jeremy Renner, Anton Yelchin, Charlie Sheen, Wentworth Miller, Cam Gigandet, Adam Lambert, Russell Brand, John Goodman, Henry Cavill, Orlando Bloom, Dominic Monaghan, Paul Rudd, Ryan Phillippe, Adrian Grenier, Patrick Dempsey, Josh Brolin.


* Our top suspect: Robert Pattinson


* Please use the label below for a link to all of the newer Nevis BVs.


* Proven by timeline of Ted's dates he was and wasn't a BV: Nevis Divine is Robert Pattinson.

NYDN- Gatecrasher

WICKED WHISPERS: Which starlet did more than get wet with an uber-famous athlete in a pool? On top of that, a gridiron god walked in and got a gander at the action - and the twosome's pile of cocaine.

Page Six- Just Asking

WHICH son of a big real estate investor became so aggressively deranged at Dorrian's on Second Avenue, he fought with the bouncer who threw him out, and then kicked in the bar's plate-glass windows? His business partner quickly offered to pay for repairs to prevent cops from arresting him . . . WHICH two Hollywood buddies should go home to their wives instead of partying together in New York clubs with bags of cocaine? . . . WHICH sitcom actor avoids socializing with industry professionals? Though his flamboyance is obvious, he stays in the closet with his close-knit - and tight-lipped - circle of gay friends.

comments?