Saturday, July 28, 2012

Lainey - Cucumber

New from Lainey from Wed July 25.  Sorry for the delay, was on a vacay.

Let’s take a break from the Twilight despair to get into some sexual produce.
They’ve been together a while now. They’re beautiful and fashionable and they’ve travelled the world. This sense of adventure extends beyond geography. After so many years, it would appear that these two are still super hot for each other.
At a party very recently, they wandered into the garden. They started kissing, rubbing, grinding. He went between her thighs...with his hands...and an accessory.
A cucumber.
In the garden.
At a party.
With a cucumber.
She enjoyed it.
They didn’t know at the time but there was an audience. When they figured that out they were obviously mortified. They’re a lot luckier than Kristen Stewart though. The evidence in this case will not be published.

Top suspects: Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger

Thursday, July 12, 2012

National Enquirer - Guess Who? - 7.11.12

Alright peeps, we have been having Blind Vice withdrawal.  Going for some National Enquirer "Guess Who?"s from yesterday -

THIS prominent lady politico is frantic to keep news of her recent tummy tuck and liposuction procedures out of the media. The conservative mom wants her fans to believe she’s all natural and stays trim by exercising daily! Can you name her?
WHICH newlywed talk-show host has her husband on pins and needles with cheating fears? She’s admitted to blacking out after taking the sleep aid Ambien, and then waking up to find herself on dating websites! Her two kids are even aware of her sleep-chatting habits and have threatened to password
WHICH comedic actor in his early 40s – who plays a gay man on an award-winning sitcom – desperately wants to have a baby with his live-in girlfriend because he’s afraid of being an old dad? The guy has even given her an ultimatum: Get pregnant this year – or get out!
WHICH country singer – who’s had a tumultuous relationship with her duet partner over the years – recently married a man who she stole from her best friend? The singer’s new hubby is not only a serial cheater, he was also verbally and physically abusive to his ex-wife!

Top suspects: 

Lainey - He turned out to be the cliche

OK, in answer to yesterday's post on Lainey, who left us wondering who she meant, today we have more.  Here is her new riddle today, to follow up to the "one who can no longer be trusted" comment from yesterday -

He turned out to be the cliche

He was the one we trusted who can’t actually be trusted. He used to be my answer to the question - is there anyone in Hollywood who DOESN’T cheat? Yes, I’d say, and excitedly too! Art does not imitate life! He’s faithful!
Well, no. He isn’t.
He hits on the young funny pretty ones at parties. Very typical behaviour - he loosens up with a few drinks and he turns into a pig; two of his more famous targets, both under 30, turned him down. He did however spend a few nights with a frequent co-star, over 30. They’ve worked together on major and minor projects. As for his long suffering partner? The woman we thought was the love of his life? Well, sometimes when he gets drunk and smears himself all over other ladies, she’s actually right there. She turns away. She pretends she doesn’t see. Which... kind of explains why she looks the way she does.
That said, it is a partnership. It’s not like she’s getting nothing out of it. He has used his influence to help her, certainly. Perhaps she’s decided it’s worth it.
An actor cheating on his partner is nothing new and doesn’t make for the most intriguing blind, sure. But like I said earlier, he was the one who was supposed to not be like the others. He’s the one who’s enjoyed almost unanimous popularity. And he turned out to be the cliché. I was surprised about this one. And very, very disappointed.

Update 7/13: Lainey has eliminated Tom Hanks, Hugh Jackman, Antonio Banderas.

Top suspect: Jon Hamm
Frequent co-star: Kristen Wiig

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Lainey - The one who can't be trusted

How excited are we for Lainey's traveling gossip school?  Right now I wish I was Canadian, that's how!  Hopefully she comes down the the US!  Lainey... Philly loves you, are you listening?

Anyway, in her July 10 Intro where she discusses her traveling Faculty of Celebrity Studies, Rumer Est Immortalis, she throws in a little something.  A very small thing which we sparks our interest.

Discussion topics include Tom, Katie, Scientology, Blind Riddles, the one we trusted who, as it turns out, can’t actually be trusted, and more. Students will be graded on participation and preparation. A basic understanding of smut principles and theory is recommended.

The one who we trusted who can't actually be trusted?  One of my dear sisters (sistah2) thinks this is about Ted and his departure.  I don't like that but she has a point.  Thoughts?

Update 7/12: Lainey wrote a new riddle to expand on this (see separate post on 7/12).  That riddle is believed to be about Jon Hamm.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Lainey mini-riddle - Demonic/Sweethart

I read this the other day but it seemed insignificant by the time I was done reading it... but a fan on twitter asked us to post it to discuss.  So here is Lainey's latest riddle, a small one stuck in the middle of this Jena Malone article from July 5.

Something about the way this was worded...
It reminded me of a similar situation that went down a few years ago surrounding the casting process for a superhero movie. Several actresses were up for the part including one with a demonic reputation, and the other a small town un-American girl who’d quickly become a fan sweetheart. The sweetheart had the edge, and she was on her way to LA to close the deal. At the airport, her phone goes off. It’s her agents. They told her not to get on the plane. Demonic leaked a story to Variety that she’d confirmed the role when she hadn’t. It was a bold move to throw off the other candidates. And it worked. (But both movies sucked and really didn’t do anything for her in the long run.)

Update - Only July 8 Lainey dropped some big hints in this article. Pretty much a reveal.  Here is an excerpt:

Meanwhile over in London yesterday, Rachel McAdams played pregnant, apparently going into labour on the set of the new Richard Curtis movie About Time. I’m assuming that Bill Weasley is the father. Yes, Rachel and Michael Sheen are still together and solid. Photos of them at Wimbledon in London on the weekend are attached. They’re both working but they’re trying to see each other as often as possible. After the success of The Vow, Rachel has pretty much cemented her position as romantic movie girl. Though she can be a lot more, and I’m sure that’s in the plan, sometimes things work out as they should. Sometimes you miss out on an opportunity because some other actress was a f-cking bitch and it turns out it wouldn’t have been right for you anyway and now that girl is off writing articles about hemp diapers because she can’t get a proper acting job. The Hollywood fates do get it right on occasion.

Demonic: Jessica Alba
Sweethart: Rachel McAdams

Friday, July 6, 2012

Goodbye, Awful Truth

So sad.  Yesterday Ted Casablanca wrote this Thank You article on his column.  We've seen for the past few weeks now that there were less columns and no new Blind Vices for the past few weeks.  So we saw it coming but am still upset.  We will miss you so much, Ted!  Us four sisters have been reading this column for so long... for me it's been since at least 2003.
We'll not only miss the witty Blind Vices, but also Ted's viewpoint on everything!  I always trusted that Ted knew what was going on and loved reading his opinions on things.  We will miss you Ted and the Awful Truth.  Good luck on your new endeavors!