Blind Vice! Chutney Jones Gets the Last Laugh!

This was Ted's BV from Monday... Chutney Jones returns...

Blind Vice!  Chutney Jones Gets the Last Laugh!


You ready for a game of six degrees of Blind Vice separation?
Poor vanilla Chutney Jones never has any fun, right?
Right. Except that she did, for like one second there after slutty Jerry Rock-Butt dumped her snooze-worthy (but expertly toned) tush to bed a more sexually adventurous T-town chick—Kiki Doheny, of course. So what did old Chut do?
Skanked it up with another Vice star!
We already told you that Chutney was getting her flirt on with Saucy Bossy, a bisexual superstar who's about as horny as he is famous (which is, very). Well things don't stay in the flirty stage with Saucy for long.
‘Cause he wanted action. And Chutney wanted to show she can live on the wild side.
A dangerous combo, no?
Meanwhile, Jerr was out trying to woo Kiki, who used him and abused him while smiling for the cameras the whole time, leaving Jerry to drown his sorrows in a string of waiting hussies. Don't take it too hard, J—it's what she does to all her men.
Thing is (and, trust, we didn't expect this), Jerry ran back to Chutney with his tail between his legs.
And as stupid as she is, she took him back! But Saucy Bossy has a nasty little STD that Chutney could have easily picked up. Guess only time (and some mysterious itching) will tell.
AND IT AIN'T: Minka Kelly, Jennifer Lopez, Ashley Greene

Please refer to the label below for links to our posts on the previous Chutney, Jerry, Saucy, and Kiki BVs, including full lists of who has been eliminated for Jerry and Saucy.

Top suspects:

Chutney Jones - Jessica Biel

Saucy Bossy - Jamie Foxx
Jerry Rock Butt - Justin Timberlake
Kiki Doheny - Olivia Wilde

Blind Vice! Who Whipped Jerry Rock-Butt So Easily?

New from Ted today.  I have to say, Ted is being very obvious lately.  Also re-using a lot of existing BV names.  Just sayin'...

Blind Vice!  Who Whipped Jerry Rock-Butt So Easily?


Does Jerry Rock-Butt have monogamy in him, after all?
Jerry had a permanent hall pass—you know, cheat whenever he likes but come home to the missus at night and on red carpets—with Chutney Jones. Nice deal, right? But it turns out he's traded it in for a shot at someone he thinks is the real thing.
So who is JRB's potential new leading lady?
Meet Kiki Doheny, the object of Jerry's desire.
Kiki and Rock-Butt have known each other for a while and have kept it friendly until recently.
See, Jerry thought he could make Ms. Doheny another notch on his heavy belt just by batting those pretty lashes of his.
Not with this broad.
She has deftly blue-balled him every step of their friendship, so this, of course, only makes Kiki more desirable.
Finally he couldn't take it anymore and asked what he can do to win her affections?
K.D. demanded he completely break up with Chutney like stat or else she would never give it up.
So what did Jerry Rock-Butt do? Babes, it wasn't even a question.
He ditched his long-time love and hasn't looked back.
Wonder how long it took until Kiki and Jerry had mattress playtime?
Actually, the real question is whether they can sustain a new A-list relationship purely on the fact they are so hot for each other.
Or will Chutney Jones get the final laugh?
We hear she's been flirting up a storm with Saucy Bossy, remember him? A B.V. star who has an award Jerry Rock-Butt would kill for.
Ms. Jones sure does have a thing for the bisexual ones, I swear.
And it Ain't: Tom Sturridge, Jay-Z, Mark Ruffalo

Please see our label below for the previous Jerry Rock-Butt and Chutney Jones BVs; also the previous Saucy Bossy BV;  including a full list of who has been eliminated for each.

Eliminated for Kiki Doheny as of 6/1/12: Mila Kunis

Top suspects:

Jerry Rock-Butt - Justin Timberlake

Chutney Jones - Jessica Biel

Kiki Doheny - Olivia Wilde

Saucy Bossy -Jamie Foxx

Blind Vice: Chillin' Dude Does the Dude

From Ted yesterday...

Blind Vice: Chillin' Dude Does the Dude

I know what you're thinking: Is anybody in Hollywood straight? Skanky David Duchovny is. Brad Pitt maybe. I think that might be it!
But seriously, the town's full of pooftahs. Get friggin' used to it. Always has been that way—always will be. It's a community full of creative types, babe, that's just the way it goes!
Take Saucy Bossy, for ince. He's made a living by exuding the easy, cool side of powerful in his acting, his looks, his walk, all his endeavors. Ya know, he's just one of those handsome, effortless figures who command authority, with just a touch of kink on the side.
Well, doll-babes, I'm here to tell you...
It's a helluva lot more than just a damn "touch" for Saucy's libidinous bent! He sneaks dudes right and left into wherever he's hanging, whether it's his house in L.A. or whatever hotel room he happens to be partying in while on location.
Oh, and all those (female) big-butt babes Bossy's always feeling up in public, at events, in clubs, etc.? "It's all an act," said a member of S.B.'s management team, which is terrified somebody's gonna catch Saucy getting vroom service from the guys.
Jeez, I swear.
It's one thing for a single guy to live a lie like this. But should a dad being doing this? What a horrible message of deceit this sends to Bossy's kid! (I mean, it's only a matter of time before the kiddo discovers pops is a down-low kinda man).
And It Ain't: Colin Farrell, Kiefer Sutherland, Denzel Washington

* Update 5/14/11 - Ted has eliminated: Alec Baldwin, Vin Diesel, Terrence Howard.

* Top suspect: Jamie Foxx (Runners-up Tracy Morgan, Elton John)