Monday, March 14, 2011

Blind Vice! Who Whipped Jerry Rock-Butt So Easily?

New from Ted today.  I have to say, Ted is being very obvious lately.  Also re-using a lot of existing BV names.  Just sayin'...

Blind Vice!  Who Whipped Jerry Rock-Butt So Easily?

Does Jerry Rock-Butt have monogamy in him, after all?
Jerry had a permanent hall pass—you know, cheat whenever he likes but come home to the missus at night and on red carpets—with Chutney Jones. Nice deal, right? But it turns out he's traded it in for a shot at someone he thinks is the real thing.
So who is JRB's potential new leading lady?
Essential MixesMeet Kiki Doheny, the object of Jerry's desire.
Kiki and Rock-Butt have known each other for a while and have kept it friendly until recently.
See, Jerry thought he could make Ms. Doheny another notch on his heavy belt just by batting those pretty lashes of his.
Not with this broad.
She has deftly blue-balled him every step of their friendship, so this, of course, only makes Kiki more desirable.
Finally he couldn't take it anymore and asked what he can do to win her affections?
K.D. demanded he completely break up with Chutney like stat or else she would never give it up.
So what did Jerry Rock-Butt do? Babes, it wasn't even a question.
He ditched his long-time love and hasn't looked back.
Wonder how long it took until Kiki and Jerry had mattress playtime?
Actually, the real question is whether they can sustain a new A-list relationship purely on the fact they are so hot for each other.
Or will Chutney Jones get the final laugh?
We hear she's been flirting up a storm with Saucy Bossy, remember him? A B.V. star who has an award Jerry Rock-Butt would kill for.
Ms. Jones sure does have a thing for the bisexual ones, I swear.
And it Ain't: Tom Sturridge, Jay-Z, Mark Ruffalo

Please see our label below for the previous Jerry Rock-Butt and Chutney Jones BVs; also the previous Saucy Bossy BV;  including a full list of who has been eliminated for each.

Eliminated for Kiki Doheny as of 6/1/12: Mila Kunis

Top suspects:
Jerry Rock-Butt - Justin Timberlake
Chutney Jones - Jessica Biel
Kiki Doheny - Olivia Wilde
Saucy Bossy -Jamie Foxx


blurry vice said...

So... Mila Kunis makes her BV debut! Also, Jessica Biel flirting with Jamie Foxx? Didn't hear about that. Interesting! Otherwise... snooze. Nothing we don't really know or suspect already, Ted!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I agree with the snooze, though I don't think Kunis wants to officially date Timberlake.

She's been putting feeders out there that he isn't intellectually her type and really dissing him but she's having fun!

I wonder if we're going to get another Toothy installment after a certain someone's 'weird' bathroom incident?? Toothy and his public areas to play!

blurry vice said...

Michelle said...

"Ms. Jones sure does have a thing for the bisexual ones, I swear." Only interesting part of this vice. When did he mention JR-B ie Justin was Bi. Is this a new reveal?

Unknown said...

Yeah, seriously obvious. Justin is bi? LOL. I don't know about that. Don't think his momma would approve. Maybe Ted's wishful thinking?

Viking Girl said...

Michelle... I was wondering the exact same thing.

pikespeak said...
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Unknown said...

Unless Ted has some new news...Justin is not his other BV. There, Ted says although JRB can have anyone he wants...guys or girls...he chooses the latter.

pikespeak said...

Am I the only one who thinks Justin being bi makes so much sense? I don't know why, I just believe that for some reason and I'm not even all that attracted to him.

Unknown said...

Pikespeak, I thought he seemed gay myself. I always was surprised that he wasn't one of the closeted ones.

Cecilia00 said...

Yeah, Ted stated clearly that when Rock-Butt hits the mattress, it's always with a female - despite mass metrosexual appeal.

Personally, JT has always struck me as willing to try some stuff. Maybe not bi, but willing to experiment.

Unknown said...

Adam LaVorgna 1998 - 2001
Chris Evans 2001 - 2006
Adam Levine 2006
Derek Jeter 2006 - 2007
Wilmer Valderrama 2006 - 2007
Ryan Reynolds 2007
Justin Timberlake 2007 - 2011

Jessica's previous boyfriends. Any of them on the BV bi-radar?

Gabby said...

Is it just me, or is Ted making is Blind Vices MUCH more obvious recently? I mean within the 1st paragraph, even if you weren't a reader of this blog I think you could figure out it was JT & Jessica. PLUS Ted has been going on about how JT and Mila are flirting, etc. I'm not trying to complain though -- when they're like this I can always figure them out!!

Gabby said...

@Kim - I'm pretty sure everyone she's dated since 2001 is vice-worthy whether or not they've had one from Ted yet. I love myself some Ryan Reynolds but I want to know what happened between him and Scarlett!!

David said...

A question. I know that on this blog several of you hold a rather low opinion of However, I think it is fair to say that in the past few months BG has revealed a number of pretty juicy stories, which have proven to be bang-on accurate when it's broken in the mainstream media.

The day before Ted posted his article about Justin and Mila "flirting", and soon after JT and Jessica officially split, BG revealed an item from back last November essentially saying that Justin and Mila were sleeping together on the set of Friends With Benefits.

Do you think that Ted has been stung that he didn't get this story earlier? He seems to be playing catch-up with this BV - essentially there's nothing much new and he's trying to make it sound now as though he's an insider on this relationship?

Ella Bee said...

@Kim, I hope it is Wilmer. But Gabby, you are right, any of them are highly possible.

Caz1310 said...

David I agree with your assessment of BG (sorry sisters). I appreciate the difference between this site and BG and love this one for the indepth discussion...although I do check BG frequently to see what's happening in the bigger gossip world and always wonder why Ted is so behind the 8-ball or if his scope is purposely narrow. He doesn't report on a quarter of what other sites are...does anyone know why?

Kirby said...

My opinion, out of Jessica's bfs:

Adam LaVorgna 1998 - 2001 = meh, mostly straight
Chris Evans 2001 - 2006 = chumpy, straight
Adam Levine 2006 = assholic, straight
Derek Jeter 2006 - 2007 = a darling, straight
Wilmer Valderrama 2006 - 2007 = douchebag, straight
Ryan Reynolds 2007 = funny, mostly straight
Justin Timberlake 2007 - 2011 = pathetic, mostly straight

@Gabby, most insiders say Scarlett got bored.

On another note: this blind is so obvious, its not even dirty enough. Is it worth believing?

Krystal said...

@David & Caz1310

I agree. This site is amazing for the discussions, archives, and for digging into the BVs, which is half the fun, but I love BG too b/c it has a lot of the vices from the other sites and it seems like lately Ted has definitely been playing catch up with what they've posted. I still love his blinds though and he's given us some great ones so I'll always be a fan. I'm actually happy that he's being more obvious, I just wish that it was with the blinds that drive us crazy, not the easy ones like Jerry Rockbutt.

The only thing I wonder about is that BG said in the JT/Mila/Jessica reveal that the JT & Jessica relationship was a sham for all 4 years whereas Ted says that they were together but he was free to cheat. I wonder who's right? I'm inclinded to go with BG just because I never really saw these two as a believable couple.

Anonymous said...

I think the interesting thing about this BV is that it will give us official confirmation on Saucy Bossy. I know he's suspected to be Jamie Foxx, but this could solidify it. I haven't heard anything so far about JB hanging out with him, but the next couple days/weeks will tell.

pikespeak said...

KIM: Well it does seem Biel is into guys who are not straight because she's not straight herself...just like Cameron Diaz. The only guys who stand out that have dated her are Levine, Jeter, Wilmer, Ryan and possibly Timerlake...sorry, Timberlake has ALWAYS been suspect to me.

Unknown said...

I think this is the best thing to happen to Jessica. Who wants to be with someone who treats them so badly. However, something tells me Mila is not that interested. It would be interesting if JT went through all this for nothing.

sistah2 said...

Hi guys, great discussion. I also recognize this site's differences from BG - they compete more w.Ted, we just analyze and discuss and have fun with the bigger Vices out there. I dont dislike them at all. I also wonder why Ted seems to go for certain targets more often - its his preference; I guess BG casts a wider net? Anyway, I used to hate that CDAN site; now I dont mind it so much. Sorry for going off-topic but since this Vice is solved why not? LOL

MrMoo said...

Hey Sisters!

As long as we're off-topic, I've got a question for ya...

I've always thought it would be fun to have a fantasy sports league, but with celebrities. You could trade, bench, or play a roster of celebs, from week to week.

And it turns out, someone had the same idea- there's a site where you can play celeb fantasy football, basically. So, I've got a question or two for you guys.

1) Would you guys be okay with me posting the address, so people (and you guys) could check it out for themselves? I don't wanna direct traffic away from your guys' site, w/out permission first...

2) If you guys are okay with it, any way we could try and set up a B.I.E. league? Might be fun :)

blurry vice said...

Great, my post was just lost.

#1 I don't care about you posting a link that is fine. My husband had that idea a few years ago too. Saw that there were some sites doing that. I personally don't have time to fantasy anything but have fun.

#2 as for blindgossip. That is great they have good gossip lately good for them. I haven't gone on in a long time. My problem was that they showed up a few months after us, with the same intentions, then started a daily blind item. With absolutely no explanation of who they are. How they get info. If they were one person, a group, or maybe a group of 10 staffers from a PR company perhaps? No one knows. I think it's suspicious when there is a daily blind item. Lainey for example sometimes does 2 in a week, sometimes 1 in 6 months. She is credible and not making shit up. Ted does pick and choose gossip about people. I can respect that. Who really cares about taylor momsen? Ted doesn't and I can identify with that. So he leaves some celebs out. Remember there are other columns on the E website that are covering other stuff. He would be repetitive if he covered something another E columnist was. And there is a BV once or twice a week. So really... go on what you want. But personally I don't 100% trust a website that has a daily blind, esp with no explanation of who they are or how they go info. If you do that is great. But maybe think about questioning why you trust this mystery person/group of people/company. Just sayin'...

Krystal said...
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Krystal said...

Wow, I didn't know they started after you. That's got to be irritating. The only thing I've noticed is that they post from a few different websites (CDAN, buzzfoto, E! etc.) but I definitely agree that if they were posting their own blinds every day that would be VERY suspicious. I'm new to the whole BV thing so I'm basically reading everything I can get my hands on.

I like CDAN b/c he does reveals and some of the old Hollywood ones this past New Years were so juicy. But I still love Ted the most b/c his writing is really creative and he's been around for so long. If his blinds weren't trustworthy I think he'd be run out of town by now (which I expect and desperately hope will happen to Perez!).

My sister introduced me to your site and it has opened my eyes to the real Hollywood, so much so that I don't even bother with the tabloids anymore. What's the point when they push relationships like Jake G. & Taylor Swift?! Ugh.

Also, I'm a fellow PA girl (Philly) so you 4 sisters definitely have my support. :)

sistah2 said...

YAY Philly!
Good point Blurry. I didn't think of that. How do they just so happen to have 5 or so BI's per week? Some PR firm is feeding them crap.
However, I've read that many of theirs have turned out to be true - cant think of examples but i was reading one of the E boards and many people like that - they get satisfaction out of some mainstream story coming out right after one of thier BI's that matches exactly.
Which is the opposite of Ted - also his writing style makes my eyes cross.
Speaking of Philly - our boy Bradley Cooper is all over the press this week. Acc. to Ted, he's very VICEY. one of my sisters knows a high school friend of his, says it was a general assumption (NOT fact) that he was gay. This correlates with Ted's Vicey hints about him (see labels)
Love Brad though! He's so cute.

blurry vice said...
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blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Do you think it's just a coincidence that the minute Mila Kunis became the new It girl, she and Macaulay Culkin split? Was he not good enough for her high-

profile life?

Dear Climbing the A-List Ladder:
Coincidence? Please. We believe in this coincidence as much as we believe in Charlie Sheen's sobriety. Mila and Macaulay have remained amicable, so we doubt

the beauty gave him the boot in a malicious way, but this duo is just another example of a breakup due to sudden stardom. Moving on. How's Justin treating

you, Mila? "

Unknown said...

Do men do this too in Hollywood?

I mean, did JT dump JB b/c she had become too low profile for him? Was that one of the reasons?

Savannah said...

While I totally buy Justin being bi it would make more sense to me if the line was "Mr. Rock-Butt sure does have a thing for the bisexual ones, I swear" since I've heard multiple stories of Jessica dating women in the past. In fact there was a rumor they had an open relationship and both slept with women on the side. Jessica apaprently had a thing with Justin's cousin. I'm shocked Ted hasn't incorporated Chutney's sexuality it into the Vices.

If Ted really is implying that Justin is bi, that would mean a NUMBER of his Ted's B.V's have been characterized as bisexual... There are all of the B.V.'s introduced as gay who Ted later said sleep also sleep with women (Toothy Tile and his strippers, Jackie Bouffant, Nevis Devine, Nelly Fang.) And Rock-Butt would be the first of two recent straight B.V.'s who Ted is now saying also swing both ways (today's blind about King Schlong says he also sleeps with men.) I know sexuality is fluid and everything, but I guess in Hollywood it's really fluid!

PrincessTiff said...

I think that JT and Mila were hooking up while filming, but they are done now. Although, they are playing it up for the publicity.

Caz1310 said...

agree - aren't they both in a soon to be released movie?

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Is it just me, or is Justin Timberlake giving off a John Mayer vibe—a smarmy, womanizing and self-important musical talent? Most people I know are not fans of cheaters, even if their partner chooses to look the other way. He seems to be in a lot of movies, but I don't enjoy him as an actor, and now I am questioning his integrity as a "man." Are we to expect to see more of J.T. on the big screen or will he put it in his pocket, zip it up and go away to make some great music and leave the acting to the professionals?

Dear Harsh Words:
Team Biel, much? That comparison is brutal on so many levels. First, we don't know anything about Justin being a cheater. That's all whispering over a flirtship that we can only hope gets hot and heavy offscreen. J.T.'s split from Jess will def bring out his wilder, playboy side, which will be the test for sure. Plus, he's not going to tie down a new gal until his mama approves anyways. At least John Mayer isn't seriously considering acting. Now that would be a disaster for actresses, and their significant others, worldwide."

. said...

Ugh. This is CLEARLY about Mila, Justin and Jessica. All the Justin BV's are boring, unless they involve him getting back with Britney, they're snooze worthy.

cincinnatikate said...

I think Saucy Bossy is Bradley Cooper...

Caz1310 said...

laugh out loud at Ted's BV monikers...Chutney & Saucy being jessica & Jamie, having worked together in Valentine's Day.

talia said...

i just read something about jessica and bradley as well...

Sasy said...

Justin wishes, totally false

blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

Saucy = Gerard Butler?

blurry vice said...

Except Saucy is a dad.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You said Chutney Jones likes her some bi boys. Are you saying Jerry Rock-Butt was bi too? If it is who I think it is, I thought people only called him gay as

an ignorant insult and not because he was actually into guys. I'm shocked!

Dear Bi-Curious:
Really, at this point, who hasn't dabbled a little in same-sex doings when you were younger? Saucy Bossy is most definitely bisexual. Jerry is straight but

had his bi-curious moments.

Dear Ted:
Now that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have ripped off that Band-Aid and made the demise of their relationship official, who do you think is going to

have the most career success? I know this looks like a no-brainer, but I think Jess may just surprise people. I believe she put all of her energy into

prolonging the end of that relationship and it zapped her self-confidence and appeal right with it! I think this could be another Nicole Kidman case where

the best, career-wise, is yet to come for Jess!

Dear Depends:
If you're putting Justin Timberlake the actor versus Jessica Biel the actress, then you stand correct. I wouldn't count Ms. Biel out. But come on, no one can

beat J.T. when he's at the top of his game, aka singing.

Dear Ted:
It seems like Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are done for good this time. Did their split have anything to do with J.T.'s Vice, and if so, how long did

Jess know about it?

Dear Rock of Love:
Yeah, Jess knew about Justin's Vice. And he knew about hers. They just weren't right together, but I'm super stoked to see whom they move on with. I always

liked these babes more when they were apart!"

Viking Girl said...

Saucy Bossy can't be Gerard Butler. The first Saucy Bossy BV appeared on 4 April '09. Ted confirmed Butler wasn't a BV as of 24 Aug. 09. Plus Ted has intimated more than a couple of times that Butler is straight.( But whether that means anything anymore, I don't know).

blurry vice said...

Rita said...

There was an interview with Mila Kunis on the sex scene with JT where she says that they had film thoses scenes for 2 weeks in a row, and JT only wore a sock over his thing.

Can you imagine the pain JT was in if for real, Mila had refused him even after 2 weeks of foreplay in front of the cameras.

I love Mila even more now, for standing her ground.

hello said...

Looks like Kiki is Olivia Wilde. The story on E! says she was out all night with JT.

hello said...

Sorry, People, not E!,,20478953,00.html

KaDixonLaw said...

I was just coming here to see if anyone else had seen the story re: Justin and Olivia. It does make me wonder about Mila being Kiki. However, I wonder if the Olivia thing is just a new development.

Maybe we should bombard Ted with questions to try to figure out the identity of Kiki. If it is Olivia, that would free Mila up for the new Percy/Sally blind.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I just read that Justin Timberlake was seen with Olivia Munn. I'm hoping this was a business meeting and nothing more because I really wanted to see him with

Mila Kunis. What can you tell us?

Dear Wrong Olivia:
You mean Olivia Wilde, right? Because that's the Olivia he has recently been linked to. Supposedly the two were snuggling at the Roxbury. But during that

whole breakup fiasco with Jessica Biel, everyone was whispering that Justin was totally behind-the-back texting Ms. Munn. Yuck. Isn't she with Matthew

Morrison, or some other very public dude? Standards. All this just proves Mila's too classy for the J.T. double-dipping crap."

Savannah said...

Not saying she's Kiki but today Ted confirmed Olivia Wilde has been a BV.

Rita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Do you have any updates on Jerry Rock-Butt and Kiki Doheny?

Dear Kiki Gone Cuckoo:
That much passion is bound to fizzle out fast. Which it did...for now, at least. Kiki will always have Jerry wrapped around her wicked little finger."

Zara said...

Today Ted said that Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake were only just friends, right beneath a question about Olivia Wilde's BV. I think that Olivia is Kiki, and Mila was just a misdirect.

Also, I can't find any other vice that fits Olivia. Anyone have any thoughts?

blurry vice said...

OK snooze fest fans, Olivia Wilde now top suspect. Does anyone care? Can not stand Justin T.

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
What does Olivia Wilde's B.V. have to do with? Money, drugs, men (or women)? And how is she with fans, because I heard she is not very nice when they ask for a picture or an autograph.

Dear Wilde-ing Out:
Men, mostly—well, a man to be exact. As for your second Q, her moniker isn't masking a diva 'tude, per se. She's a gal that cherishes her privacy, though, which might explain why she allegedly isn't always a sweetheart on the streets."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
It's been a while since you mentioned her, so I've got to ask how the stunning and sassy Kiki Doheny is doing these days? Any new projects coming up for her?
Or any new lovers? She's one of my favorites, and I hope she's doing well! Much love to you and yours.

Dear Let's Have a Kiki:
Actually, Ms. Doheny is doing pretty damn good. Her IMDb page is blowing up (this chick is seriously locking down projects left and right) and not only does
she have a new lover, but she has a boyfriend. Just labeling him that is a serious step for Kik."

BluePacific said...

So why doesnt he just reveal it's Olivia Wilde? Although the last comment(about labeling her new boyfriend) makes me think of Mila and her recent spottings with Ashton Kutcher

Caz1310 said...

I'm sure Ted officially notted Mila for Kiki today or yesterday.

Savannah said...

This has got me wondering which moniker Mila actually is. It's a moniker that premiered in the past year and a half and one of Ted's favorites.

Unknown said...

How about Portia Vajazzle for Mila?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
So I was just wondering if Mila Kunis has any Vices? I thought she was Kiki Doheny for the longest time, but some of the clues certainly don't fit her. She is such a cool chick!

Dear Cool Chicks Vice Too:
Yes, she does. One of my fave monikers too. And it ain't Kiki, you're right about that. Though, Mila and Kiki do have quite a bit in common. Mila is a little bit more brassy than even Kiki will ever hope of being."