Sunday, April 26, 2009

Blind Vice: Star Couple Showdown!

New from Ted on Friday Apr 24 -

Blind Vice: Star Couple Showdown!
Hard-Nipple Nick is the hottest star, both bod-wise and at the box office. His wife's figure and professional goings-on aren't too shabby, either, as both Mr. and Mrs. Nick enjoy fame and fortune regularly up on the big screen—though his paychecks dwarf hers, big-time.
Greatest HitsYep, everything's pretty cozy Chez Nick, even the bisexual couple's agreement to have lovers outside the marriage. Instead of his-and-hers towels, they have his-and-hers sex partners!
And you guessed it, there's a girl for Mrs. Nick and...
A boy for Mr. Nick! And like the smart have-it-all couple they are, the Nicks chose other famous people to be their closeted lovers. Too crafty! Only problem being Hard-Nipple's boyfriend is married to an established actress who's growing increasingly peeved over the clandestine arrangement.
"He's starting to go out and fly him with him everywhere," a good friend to the Nicks told yours truly about Hard-Nipple taking the BF a few too many places as of late. "They're turning up everywhere together, and [the boyfriend's wife] is getting really pissed about it. It's going too far. It's only a matter of time before she spills."
Guess all those pricey little gifties to the wife for borrowing her hubby aren't as attractive as they once were?
Must say I'm a tad surprised to hear this latest development, as H.-N'.s always been one of the best in the Biz about keeping his preferred love life on the down-low. And now that it's flyin' high, guess a tabloid revelation is only seconds away from takeoff!
And It Ain't: John Travolta, David Beckham, Jerry O'Connell

* Update 8/26/11- Ted has eliminated John Travolta, David Beckham, Jerry O'Connell, Ashton Kutcher, Tom Hanks, Ryan Reynolds, Zac Efron, Brad Pitt, Hugh Jackman, Sean Penn, Mel Gibson, Robert Downey Jr., Jensen Ackles, Matthew McConaughey, Ben Affleck

Please see the label below for a link to our post on the most recent Hard-Nipple Nick BV from August 2011.

* Our top guess: was Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. (Now under dispute because on April 2 Ted said that Will was already a subject of a BV.)

Friday, April 17, 2009

New Moon Blind Vice: Twyla Babe-Sucker's Not Alone

New from Ted today...

New Moon Blind Vice: Twyla Babe-Sucker's Not Alone

Move over, Twyla Babe-Sucker, you've got company on the New Moon set: Her name's Julie Bone-Jumper.
But first, gotta say: It's almost as if Twilight creator Stephenie Meyer made sure the contract stated that her angst-ridden teeny vampire love story be cast only with equally pale, angst-ridden love-torn young actors.
Such is the case with Twyla Babe-Sucker, star of our last Twilight Vice installment. And it's certainly the case, as well, for Ms. JBJ.
And Julie, like Twyla, has another love...
Though, we must admit, Julie's man isn't nearly as jealous as Twyla's cranky, twitching freakazoid of a BF. Still, he's not exactly thrilled that Julie's been all-too-obviously jonesing for one of her humpy Twilight costars, who isn't exactly hiding his feelings for Julie, either.
Now, can we be honest here?
As perfecto as Ms. Babe-Sucker's tastes may be, it simply must be stated—plain and stud-simple—that I do think Julie's going gonzo for the hunkier dude. I can def see why she's considering dumping the full-time BF for a sweet little fling with the muscled costar in question. Who wouldn't?
Just wonder if it would last (so, too, no doubt, would certain Twilight powers that be).
I mean, Nikki Reed probably would have launched on this dude at the first table reading! Wonder if she did...
Oh, and I've had it with E!'s snitty, pearl-and-cardigan wearing lawyers. I'm Twittering the next set of clues. Follow my ass and make some guesses. Screw old-time snail blolumns.
It ain't: Nikki Reed, Elizabeth Reaser, Rachelle Lafevre

Ted has eliminated: Nikki Reed, Elizabeth Reaser, Rachelle Lafevre, Kristen Stewart, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser.

* Top suspects: Ashley Greene (with Jackson Rathbone)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

GOOP blind item

Thanks to Lainey for letting us know that Gwyneth Paltrow ran a semi-blind item in her GOOP newsletter today.

Back in the day, I had a “frenemy” who, as it turned out, was pretty hell-bent on taking me down. This person really did what they could to hurt me. I was deeply upset, I was angry, I was all of those things you feel when you find out that someone you thought you liked was venomous and dangerous. I restrained myself from fighting back. I tried to take the high road. But one day I heard that something unfortunate and humiliating had happened to this person. And my reaction was deep relief and…happiness. There went the high road. So, why does it feel so good to hear something bad about someone you don’t like? Or someone you DO like? Or someone you don’t KNOW? I once asked the editor of a tabloid newspaper why all of the stories about a famous British couple had a negative bent. He said that when the headline was positive, the paper didn’t sell. Why is that? What’s wrong with us? I asked the sages to shed a little light.

Here’s to washing our mouths out with soap...



Lainey claims that this screams Winona Ryder. Here is what she says about it.

Update - Ted Casablanca gives a nickname for Gwynnie's riddle - Trinona Flyder. But he also says this might be about Madonna.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Page Six - Just Asking - 4.15.09

From NY Post today:

April 15, 2009 --

WHICH famous ex-wife should hire a less cynical bodyguard? At a recent Palm Beach bash, as she expounded unsteadily to other guests, her burly escort stood behind her and rolled his eyes . . .

WHICH singer/talk show hostess should be more careful where she shops? She was taken recently to a downtown storage facility where she bought $10,000 worth of luxury designer goods of dubious provenance -- not fake, but fallen off the truck . . .

WHICH wife of an NFL owner has let it all go to her head? She recently greeted a woman she's known for many years with: "I know you know who I am, but who are you?" The woman, dumbfounded, replied, "That's for me to know and you to find out."

Crazy Days and Nights - 4.14.09

From CDAN yesterday -

Today's Blind Items - From The Accountant

It is that time of the year. Tax time. And with tax time comes lots of stories from the accountant about how celebrities are spending their money, and on whom.

This B-/C+ actor is the co-star of a very highly rated, long running network drama. He has been on the entire run of the show. Anyway, in 2008, our actor bought not one, not, two, but three sets of fake breasts for women I guess he was dating. Besides breasts he also paid for several other procedures, putting his plastic surgery total from last year at about $65,000, none of which was apparently spent on him.

Monday, April 13, 2009

NYDN Gatgecrasher - 4.13.09

Wicked whisper

Which troubled starlet is getting over a bad breakup with a member of the same sex? We just hope the latter’s current boyfriend doesn’t get wind of the girl-on-girl shenanigans!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Blind Vice: Judas Jerks It Again!

From Ted today - a return BV subject...

Blind Vice: Judas Jerks It Again!

Ever since Judas Jack-Off made his smarmy debut, I do think it’s fair to say Toothy Tile’s been breathing a tad easier. Of course, Toothy went so far back into the proverbial closet, I think the only heavy panting T.T. ever does anymore is when he and the GF moon over Pottery Barn chenille throws together. Back to Jack-Off: The dog’s still trying to finagle the old BF into sex again—and I think he’s damn close to succeeding.
After all, Judas is impossibly sexy (some say too much so, but I think of beauty like Kate Bosworth does thinness, never can have too much of that stuff!). He’s hard to resist. Especially when he’s lying to the ditched boyfriend and telling him they can still go off and get married like they'd originally planned, only he just has to “hang out” a little bit longer with the fake girlfriend his management set him up with.
Look, you cretin publicity whore with killer dimples (I mean the ones on your rock-hard ass, not your innocent little face), you’re screwing with the feelings of a man who loves you. This ain’t no Rock Hudson movie. It’s real life. And unless you want some pathetic kind of lying, lonely ending like Hudson himself got, quit effing with people’s lives, starting with your own.
It Ain’t:
Taylor Kistch, Chris Evans, Chris Pine

* Update April 15 - Ted gave Judas' boyfriend a name - Dashed Dingle-Dream! And says we will be hearing more about him soon.

Use the labels below for links to our other posts on JJO/DDD, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

* TOP SUSPECTS: Hayden Christensen and ?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Lainey - Non smoking reshoot

From Lainey today:

Hunky, serious actor was shot by the paps the other day dragging on a ciggie after getting off a plane. But his wife doesn’t know.

So he asked them, pleaded with them – please, can we try it again? Let me just finish, then I’ll go back to where started, and I’ll walk back this way again, and you can reshoot these photos without me smoking? Otherwise the Mrs will kill me.

This is blind for obvious reasons. Don’t want to put him in the sh-thouse when he gets home but also a great example of how they work with them, the paparazzi, they all work with them every day. They negotiate, they choreograph, they rehearse, and they reshoot. It’s part of the job. Don’t believe them when they complain.

* Update April 15 - Lainey has eliminated Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, Russell Crowe, Patrick Dempsey, Ben Affleck, Clive Owen, Christian Bale.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Blind Vice: Chillin' Dude Does the Dude

From Ted yesterday...

Blind Vice: Chillin' Dude Does the Dude

I know what you're thinking: Is anybody in Hollywood straight? Skanky David Duchovny is. Brad Pitt maybe. I think that might be it!
But seriously, the town's full of pooftahs. Get friggin' used to it. Always has been that way—always will be. It's a community full of creative types, babe, that's just the way it goes!
Take Saucy Bossy, for ince. He's made a living by exuding the easy, cool side of powerful in his acting, his looks, his walk, all his endeavors. Ya know, he's just one of those handsome, effortless figures who command authority, with just a touch of kink on the side.
Well, doll-babes, I'm here to tell you...
It's a helluva lot more than just a damn "touch" for Saucy's libidinous bent! He sneaks dudes right and left into wherever he's hanging, whether it's his house in L.A. or whatever hotel room he happens to be partying in while on location.
Oh, and all those (female) big-butt babes Bossy's always feeling up in public, at events, in clubs, etc.? "It's all an act," said a member of S.B.'s management team, which is terrified somebody's gonna catch Saucy getting vroom service from the guys.
Jeez, I swear.
It's one thing for a single guy to live a lie like this. But should a dad being doing this? What a horrible message of deceit this sends to Bossy's kid! (I mean, it's only a matter of time before the kiddo discovers pops is a down-low kinda man).
And It Ain't: Colin Farrell, Kiefer Sutherland, Denzel Washington

* Update 5/14/11 - Ted has eliminated: Alec Baldwin, Vin Diesel, Terrence Howard.

* Top suspect: Jamie Foxx (Runners-up Tracy Morgan, Elton John)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

NYDN Gatecrasher - 4.1.09

WICKED WHISPERS: Which Academy Award winner, who constantly denies his philandering ways, was outed after sleeping with a publicist who blabbed to everyone?

Lainey - Banned Band

New riddle from Lainey Gossip today -

Banned Band

Award winning band hard partying with friends last Friday at an upscale hotel. Furniture trashed, a chair thrown across the room, glass was broken everywhere, the place was a mess – like wrecked! – and hotel guests on other floors complained and complained…

Mostly it’s the lead singer. He was also seen in the lobby bar trying to ride up on some skanky broad. Problem: his woman walked in on the action resulting in a nuclear scrap. She stormed out and he was overheard yelling at her on his cellphone later on: You f-cking bitch! You are a f-cking c**t!

Hotel management has now banned the band from coming back. Upon being told of the news, the lead singer’s response was:

Do you know who you’re dealing with? You are going to regret this. You are going to regret f-cking with me.

A rocker trashing a hotel room…it’s a bit cliché but whatever, not exactly super damaging. Probably works in his favour, if anything. What’s objectionable is pulling out That Line. That Line is the worst.

Do you know who I am?

Oh and he’s a f-cking pig too. Probably because he can’t believe he’s made it this far – all this money, all this success. Seriously, neither can anyone else.

* Update April 6 - Lainey has eliminated Coldplay, Simple Plan, Kings of Leon, Maroon 5.

* Top guess: Nickelback.