Blind Vice! Cash-Strapped Caesar Rewrites History!

New BV from Ted today -

Blind Vice!  Cash-Strapped Caesar Rewrites History!

Caesar Anchovy-Arse has always been known for being a fairly talented man. But what the world doesn't know about him really does remain his best (unknown) achievement: Preventing the world from learning just how poorly he's treated his partner, Strippa Rip-Ya.
But Caesar's latest shenanigans really do trump all his past debauched behavior, and that's saying something:

Because fooling around or getting high is nothing compared to actually hurting your woman and then claiming you were helping her along in her career path...which is exactly what Caesar's latest line is all about.
"He's claiming he made her," says a pal to the put-upon couple, regarding Strippa's professional success (which, admittedly, has been quite mixed). "Can you believe that?" asks the friend, rhetorically.
The famous couple's pal is shocked mostly because Caesar's form of supporting his wife in the past has usually consisted of verbally abusing her. Or worse. He's been an unacceptable husband, in every sense of the word.
But now, Mr. Anchovy-Arse is claiming otherwise, just so he can be assured of spending Strippa's paychecks—for now, and forever.
Jeez, is it Hollywood that creates these men, or have they always been around?
AND IT AIN'T: Peter Facinelli, David Beckham, Ashton Kutcher

Please use the labels below to read our posts on the previous Ceasar and Strippa BVs, including full lists of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony

Blind Vice! Sex, Drugs and Deceit South of the Border!

New from Ted yesterday, March 2nd -

Blind Vice!  Sex, Drugs and Deceit South of the Border!

If anyone's ever wondered at least one of the reasons why Caesar Anchovy-Arse likes to abuse his stunning wife, Strippa Rip-Ya, who never has really figured out how best to confront her B-list hubby, we have a major clue comin' your way.
It's not just Caesar's "unbearable temper" (as mutual friends put it), or his penchant for guzzling beer instead of drinking up his wife's beautiful bod and personality, it's that Caesar has a penchant for other temptations. Pretty typically seedy, too. Wanna hear what they are?

"[Caesar] loves nothing more than to head down to Mexico, check into a place on the beach and do all the drugs he can," says a professional friend to the not exactly charming star. "And then when he's high enough, he'll have sex with anything and everything. Men, women, whatever, doesn't make a difference to him."
Wow. No wonder Caesar's always been so passive-aggressively hell-bent on making his wife's life major crapola. He's not that into her! Makes complete sense.
"I don't think he's ever really come to terms with the fact that he's bisexual," surmised the Anchovy-Arse source. "That's a major area of denial in his life. It's pretty consistent that he's treated [Strippa] like he has. He doesn't respect her. He doesn't respect himself."

Which is probably why Caesar goes out of his way to play the hetero-card, once he's back home in the States. Now, as tempting as it is to start feeling a pang o' sympathy for Caesar, we beg you not to:
Caesar went into his marriage knowing full he had other sexual needs. But he wanted a family.
And on top of that, it's not like Caesar's some huge-butt star with a massive following—he'd certainly survive if it became publicly known he swings both ways.
I mean, we're not talkin' George Clooney or Brad Pitt-level here.
And It Ain't: Matthew Broderick, Mark Consuelos, Josh Kelley

Please use the label below for a link to our previous posts on the previous Caesar and Strippa BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez

Blind Vice: Red Hot Strippa Caged By Angry Douche!

New from Ted yesterday March 7 -

Blind Vice: Red Hot Strippa Caged By Angry Douche!

Last time we checked in on Strippa Rip-Ya, her sad story was getting worse.
That abusive hubby of hers, Caesar Anchovy-Arse, was causing a drunk ruckus by showing up to a photo shoot where he proceeded to take his verbal barrage semi-public by pointing out all her flaws in front of work colleagues.
So did Rip-Ya's shocked acquaintances ever say anything to her?
Some tried.
"She's in more denial than she ever has been," dishes a source close to SRY who is familiar with the sad, sad sitch.
Continues the concerned pal:
"Her career is red hot right now, so she just won't hear anyone out. She thinks if she ignores the problem long enough it will just go away."
But it won't, as long as she's with that dude of hers.
Sure, since she's the bigger celeb in the marriage you would think that would make Caesar pipe down and—more importantly—lay off, but it doesn't.
We may not be experts at anything but gossip, but if you ask us the higher Strippa's star rises, the worse her situation will be at home.
Anchovy-Arse is a twerp and an abuser. He's a total loser, so, the only way he feels he can show he's the man of the household (since he's not the money maker) is to show it physically.
It's just horrible—and so Paleozoic Era. Why doesn't he just use his club to express himself, instead of that nasty-ass mouth of his. Not to mention his hands.
It's going to take a serious injury before Strippa gets it through her head this guy is bad news for her and her kids.
But denial is a dangerous place to be in, and right now SRP has set up shop.

And it Ain't: Kendra Wilkinson, Natalie Portman, Christina Aguilera

Please see the label below for our posts on the previous SRY and CAA BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated. 

Top suspects: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony

Blind Vice: Strippa's Abusive Relationship Gets Worse

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Strippa's Abusive Relationship Gets Worse


Last time we checked in on poor Strippa Rip-Ya, the usually outspoken babe had told her close pals that she was staying with that abusive man of hers, Caesar Anchovy-Arse, because he only beats her occasionally and it's "not that bad."
So sad, because Strippa's friends have been too scared to tell her to leave the schmuck.
But is there hope? Now more Industry acquaintances of SRY's have now taken notice of her weird dynamic with Caesar...
At a photo shoot for S recently, we're told by sources on set that they were "incredibly uncomfortable" when her husband popped in for an unexpected visit.
Controlling much? You bet.
See, Caesar rarely lets Strippa go anywhere without him. Anywhere. Notice the watchdog pattern developing here? No relationship with that kind of dynamic is healthy—as you don't have to just hit somebody to abuse them.
Apparently Mr. Arse showed up to the photo shoot when it started, around 7 a.m., cracked open a Pabst Blue Ribbon and started getting drunk.
"He would shout horrible things at everyone, including [Strippa]," our insider tells us. "He was brash, rude, and it made everyone awkward."
Dude's clearly super jealous his career remains stagnant while Strippa's is super hot again. Meanwhile, Strippa just stood there silent, taking any jab he threw her way, which is pretty much what she always does these days.
Hopefully her team, who witnessed this, has the balls enough to say—and finally do--something. At what point will her "friends" start worrying about her very well-being, already?
It may be unpleasant to bring it up, but isn't her life more important?

And it Ain't: Lea Michele, Lady Gaga, Oprah Winfrey

Please see our post here on the previous SRY and CAA BVs for a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony

Bonus Blind Vice: The Sad Tale of Strippa Rip-Ya

New from Ted today -

Bonus Blind Vice: The Sad Tale of Strippa Rip-Ya


It's a horrible, unforgivable crime when a man hits a woman. But a tragedy that's perhaps even harder to swallow is why a woman sticks around after she's used like a punching bag. That's the horrific scene Strippa Rip-Ya—a woman who usually tells the dudes right where to get off—is now finding herself in.
Makes some amount of sense, sadly, because something's keeping that woman from being the ol' reliable show-stopper that once made her a controversial household word. Rip-Ya just doesn't shock and entertain quite as electrically as she used to.
And another problem is...
Strippa's friends are too afraid to tell her she should ditch her no-good man, pronto! They think she won't like hearing it (and also won't like finding out how many of her amigas are hip to the crap that's going down).
Jeez! We say go ahead and risk the fact that Strippa just may not like receiving that message, tough! Chance the damn friendship to save her soul (and possible life), we say. We also suggest Ms. R-Y heed this advice right around the same time she calls the cops.
But so far, Strippa's told the couple of friends she's discussed her domestic abuse with that it's "not that bad." And that he just "pushes me around once in awhile."
Two things: Strippa's pals suspect she is covering up, greatly, for how much abuse the talented performer really is having to endure. And they think it will only get worse.
They are correct. Get help now, Strippa. Please, we beg of you.

And It Ain't: Diane Lane, Beyoncé, Brooke Mueller

As of 3/3/12:
Eliminated for Strippa: Diane Lane, Beyonce, Brooke Mueller, Kelly Ripa, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Lea Michele, Lady Gaga, Oprah Winfrey, Dianna Agron, Celine Dion, Demi Moore, Mariah Carey, Gwen Stefani, Miranda Lambert, Brooke Burke, Megan Fox, Kendra Wilkinson, Natalie Portman, Heidi Klum.
Eliminated for Casear: Matthew Broderick, Mark Consuelos, Josh Kelley




Clues:
8/13 - Ted says that SRY's husband is a celebrity, but does NOT have a BV nickname.
8/18 - Ted has given the husband a nickname - Caesar Anchovy-Arse.
12/3 - Ted says that SRY is a pop diva.
3/8 - Ted says that CAA is the father of SRY's children.


Please use the label below for a link to our posts on the other Strippa and Caesar BVs.


Top suspects: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony