Other hints from Ted's letters 2/12/08

two letters in Ted's column today provided hints to recent blind items:
#1: Is Über-Cool Unzipped from One Pigskin-Poked Blind Vice Kevin Spacey? Randy Thousand Oaks, California
Dear Unusual Suspect:Kevin Spacey likes to think his love life’s an enigma to everyone...but we know for certain Über-Cool ain’t this American pose—or rose or whatever—although they have worked together on a past project.
-This backs up my guess of Bryan Singer- he directed The Usual Suspects, w/ Kevin Spacey.

#2:Dear Ted:My first time emailing you. I'm thinking I may know who Bravado Boom-Cocks from One Remind Us Never to Sleep Over There Blind Vice is: Benicio Del Toro? Fits your descriptions. Diana Louisville, Kentucky
Dear Es Nada Del Toro:Benicio’s not one of the usual suspects in this Blind Vice. Try a different sort of accent other than Benny’s Puerto Rican one.
-This confirms our suspicion that BBC is probably British... Simon Cowell, Ricky Gervais, Sacha Baron Cohen, Or Craig Ferguson(he may be Scottish but is L.A. based) ????

One Pigskin-Poked Blind Vice

Today's Blind Vice from the Awful Truth...

First Lead-in

Grab some pom-poms and check out our campus-cruising Blind Vice to guess which mature auteur is keeping real warm inside a few freshman dorms.

Second Lead-in

R.A. Foray... Blind Vice op-quiz, hot shots: How’d you spend your college spring breaks? Baskin’ and bakin’ with your sorority sisses in sunny South Beach? Cavorting with your fellow coeds away from campus, right, brah? Well, fab filmmaker Über-Cool Unzipped likes to spend his vacay time off-set, stepping back into uninhibited university lodging. That’s one way for his barely legal lotharios to score a sweet internship!

Blind Vice

Über-Cool Unzipped is a feted filmmaker, romancer and Hollywood figure whose film finesse, more often than not, figures out how to please the critics and crowds alike—not to mention the college set. Way to score every demographic, dude! Now, don’t you know, just to keep it cute ‘n’ collegiatelike, Über likes to spend the successful movie weekends of his trademark flicks (not to mention other, less celebratory windows of horny opportunity) not by sipping a champagne flute with the Hollywood elite, but by throwing back a plethora of red plastic cups at a mostly frosh beer bash or three.

This is how our guy unwinds when off set. Although, for the tautly toned and well-bosomed record, Ü.C. always seems to surround himself with a like-minded staff. Appropriately, Mr. Ü knows his way around one California campus in particular—he’s been patrolling the hallways there for quite some time. Jeez, who needs H-town patting you on the back when you can pat the backs of two 18-year-old students in a ménage à trois? And myriad other such barely legal, delicious, salacious delights!

In fact, Unzipped’s so supersuave (and still rather semistudly) no one seems to mind his taste in ingenue gentlemen.

* And it aint: Mel Gibson, Zach Braff, Sean Penn

Guesses in comments...