Thursday, December 31, 2009

Buzzfoto - 12.30.09

From yesterday

Buzzfoto blind item #250
Yesterday several stars were snapped out shopping and running holiday errands. While they were out doing that, one star tipped off photographers about another star who was shopping nearby. It worked and the photographers took their shots and then ran off to follow the other star. We heard that the reason for our actress to send photographers after someone else is so that they could buy coffee for everyone in the store and didn’t want to make it a big deal.
Not Michelle Trachtenberg.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Buzzfoto - 12.28.09

From yesterday -

We got an email this weekend from someone claiming to have once been good friends with this B List Actor. They have since parted ways, but this incident apparently happened two years ago. The B Lister was in love and wanted to get married to the girl we was dating at the time. He said he had never met a girl like her and was completely head over heels. Even though he is a full grown adult, he has what we’ll call some ‘mommy issues.’ The reason why a wedding never happened or has never happened is because this actor’s mother is extremely controlling and extremely involved in his life. She has broken up any real relationship the star has ever had and is so meddling and controlling, he still calls her almost every day, usually to be berated and criticized. The source says that no matter what, mommy dearest’s opinion comes first. Always.
Justin Timberlake.

Vintage BV - Virginal Vamp

OK one more vintage for today...

One Missed Missy Blind Vice - April 2007

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when (repeatedly) we homos deceive. Guess what? I’ve got a same-sex Blind Vice comin’ atcha in...seconds! Such the surprise from moi, I know.

There’s a very, very famous fruit in town. But, oh bro, is he evuh talented at making his myriad fans think he prefers the femmes. This Vice ain’t ‘bout the boy, though, it’s about the poor woman this guy utilized for his nefarious, i.e., press-release, purposes.

Virginal Vamp is a doll—and I mean that in the least plastic way possible. V2’s the best at conjuring up sexy little do-me thoughts while wearing the cutest little proper lacy things in her flicks, which, for the most part, are always on the classy side. She’s the het man’s dream fantasy: somebody he can take home to mama but boff in the broom closet while the hors d’oeuvres are being fetched.

Therefore, it was hardly a surprise when folks working for an infamous fruit who has often appeared in this very missive rang up V.V. for the most exciting role of her lifetime: to play said fagola’s real-life girlfriend! Done deal if she wanted, V. was told. Just call us back to seal the whispered doings, she was told eagerly.

Virginal was so excited, she actually thought about it for...22 seconds.

But, alas, Miz Vee was leaning against it and, just as she was about to ring back and probably decline to those who had parlayed the pooftah plan, word spread in electronic and old-fashioned scandal sheets alike. Seems another actress besides Virginal had decided to take the job (for her own desultory reasons).

Count your blessings, Virg! ‘Cause the only thing worse than going out with a guy who does ya and then ignores ya is going out with a guy who doesn’t do ya and ignores ya!

And it ain't: Anne Hathaway, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johanssen

Also eliminated: Mandy Moore, Natalie Portman

Vintage BV - Dubba Do-Me

Hmm, found another Tom Cruise suspect...

One Squat-Ready Blind Vice - May 2006

Dubba Do-Me better put in a call to Jenny Craig; he's that out of shape. The young boys he secretly favors are bitchin'--and so are the big shots who maintain his hetero-hot image.

Toothy Tile has some clandestine company these days, and I'm not just referring to those starry dudes who are dangling soclose to suddenly revealed homo-card territory. Not at all.

Ya see, Dubba Do-Me has been right out there, for years, walking that tightrope of pretend-hetero public infatuation, (mostly) stellar entertainment delivery and private-trainer poking, among other closely paid companions.

Yes, yes, yes, said trainers are boys, all boys. They're the ones who secretly visit D.D.-M. on his myriad film sets, where Dubba's trailers always resemble many homes on the Great Plains, size- and price-wise.

But don't get me wrong here, sweetcakes--we're not talkin' alleged Michael Jackson stuff, uh-uh. Let's just say Mr. Do-Me prefers guys younger than him. Much.

Is this all such a big deal? Not really. But I suspect it will be, as more and more (two this week alone, that I'm aware of) have started complaining so damn loudly about having to peddle Do-Me's false image that they're getting mucho restless. Especially now that D.'s bitchin' bod ain't exactly what it used to be.

In other words, get ready for Emperor Do-Me's clothes to become transparent rather quickly.

And it ain't: Frankie Muniz, Eddie Murphy, Kurt Russell

Also eliminated: Michael Douglas, Alec Baldwin, Kevin Spacey, Will Smith, Ricky Martin, George Clooney, Vin Diesel, Kevin Costner, Jared Leto

Top suspects: Tom Cruise, John Travolta

Vintage BV - Glistening Gunther, Sally Ridden

This one was great. I think everyone suspected the same person for this. See bottom...

One Four-Footed Blind Vice - April 2005

This is a good one. Sorry, no sex acts to speak of, but the big-star shenanigans you're about to read are orgasmic and de-lish in my baddie book.

Glistening Gunther, like Naughty Nina last week, happens to be one of my faves. He's a more than decent actor (quite unlike N2), but Gunther's personal life leaves much to be desired. Like his ability--or lack thereof--to seduce women.

Sally Ridden is as red hot as they come, career-wise. Man-wise, it's a diff story but not really the point of this Blind tale. So, G.G. is in one of his moods, which means he thinks he's actually straight for a day. He calls up S.R., asks for a date.

She declines. He calls again--at 3 in the ayem. Dude, not even straight guys get it at that hour, what the hell are you thinkin'? So,
Glistening then ups the anti-courting ante and sends, to Sally's latest movie set, exotic creatures she's supposed to get a kick out of feeding. Uh, Gunth, not really Sally's appetite--to say the least.

Sal was beside herself with being "creeped out," she told one of her closest girlfriends, who--thank heavens--saw fit to repeat it to moi.

Earth to G-squared: Quit the imitation-het stuff, it doesn't work. Women are not circus animals. And you're not Siegfried & Roy (yet).

And it ain't: Lucy Liu/Owen Wilson, Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt, Penelope Cruz/Matthew McConaughey

Also eliminated - Billy Bob Thornton,

Top guesses: Tom Cruise for Glistening Gunther, Jennifer Garner or Scarlett Johannson as Sally Ridden.

Vintage BV - Slippery Polly

Too much fun digging up the old ones...

One Rock Hudson Blind Vice - January 2005

A nanosecond after she splits with her better half, Slippery Polly's got a sapphic sweetie--Pussy Pat

First, the query I'm asked the most (and, no, I'm afraid I can't answer "eight inches," just like Robin Williams did backstage at the Globes when I told him there was a question I was dying to ask him--which was why Brad 'n' Jen broke up, not what Robin had in mind!) is true: The answer to each week's Blind Vice lies within each column.

Secondly, some things never change. Like parading around a wife or girlfriend, just because that's what the public wants to see, when, in reality, you're a same-sex kinda creature, just like ol' Rock was.

Well, so is Slippery Polly, gotta tell ya. Howevuh, So Obvious Polly will soon be her name if she doesn't start watching it, I mean, really. See, S.P. recently left her partner. And quicker than you could say, "I like the lesbian life!" Ms. Slip hooked up with Pussy Pat, somebody not a few folks know is more interested in Polly's press-release capabilities than any moans or sweet-nothings Poll-babe might be releasing at beddie time. As friggin' if!

Now, not only is Polly getting messier and messier with her manic drive for anybody butch who wears a bra (Pussy not included), but P2 is now starting to wander as well, and--my guess--we're gonna be seeing yet another fake hookup or marriage generated by Polly none too soon. Oh, what a tangled Website we weave when first we practice to deceive, huh?

And it ain't: Portia DeRossi, Whitney Houston, Nicole Kidman

Also eliminated: Anne Heche, Jennifer Aniston, Natalie Portman

Vintage BV - Vamperella Vein-Pop, Slick Brick

Another vintage BV...

One Bodily Fluid Blind Vice - January 19, 2006

I think we use the phrase drama queen too much. Like, it's totally lost its meaning. Which is too bad, because Vamperella Vein-Pop is, like, the only babe I can think of who seriously deserves to be crowned DQ of Hollywood. (Yep, Ashlee Simpson you ain't got nothing on the wanton one.)

So, get this. Ms. V-P managed to find herself a nice, non-famous boyfriend. We'll call him
Rock Helmet. Now, Vamperella wasn't taking Rock to red carpet events and stuff--but he sure was treating her right whenever she got the hardened itch (which was far less than her saucy image lets on). But, V.V-P. is so damn competitive, I bet there's only one guy in the freakin' universe she'd condescend to be seen in public with.

Yep, the one, the only, the perpetually full of preening pizzazz studmuffin of more than a few past Blind Vices,
Slick Brick.

But here's the thing. Basically, every babe in the world wants to do
Slick. So, even though Rock's a major babe, it's not like the competition for name S.B. ain't fierce.

Yet, as it happens, the competitive
Vamperella managed to score herself a few romps in the sack with Mr. B. Impressive? Sort of. But it's not like these two have gone--or are going to go public. Which must be killing image-conscious Vein-Pop. Like, I bet she makes mock-up magazine covers that feature the two of them embraced, Jen and Vince style.

Wait. Did you forget all about
Rock? Well, of course you did, sillies. Because so did Vamperella, once she got a bite out of the Slickster!

Yep, in classic, passive-aggressive fashion,
Vein-Pop just totally blew off poor Rock. Still, the non-famous fella called. And called again. So one day, she finally agreed to see the dude, acting as if it she gave a damn. But once Rock came over, Vamperella called up Slicky and handed the phone over to Mr. Helmet, who then had to hear the six words no dude wants to hear:

"Uh, yeah, sure. We slept together."

We can report that
Rock has recovered and will prolly avoid high-strung actresses in the future. And much as we'd like to confirm that Vamperella and Brick are banging up a storm and keeping their shared enclave's nabes up all night, we cannot. He prefer boys, in the end.

And yes, both
Vamperella and Slick have appeared in the column this week.

And it ain't: Kristin Davis/Alec Baldwin, Kirsten Dunst/Leonardo DiCaprio, Lindsay Lohan/Jared Leto

Also eliminated: Paris Hilton/Jake Gyllenhaal

Vintage BV: Whore-tense Past-tense

Another vintage BV

One Overshot Blind Vice - May 2007

Where do we start? When are folks gonna realize that blowin' out your brain cells with booze, dope and doofus doings ain't exactly the best way to go? Prolly never. But what the hell, that's not gonna stop me from tellin' on Whore-tense Past-tense, the country's latest glossy victim in chemically enhanced career descent.

Whore-hon—such the doll. Well, I never thought she was, but lotsa other folks sure did. Always found W.T. to be a bit o' a fake onscreen, not to mention in real life. I mean, who else would date a gay man for years just to get herself more in the tabloids? I know, I know, half of Hollywood's female population, but you get my point. Also, forgive moi, but I never really found Ms. P., with all of her kooky outfits, to be all that attractive—and I think that's largely because, deep down inside, Whorey was projecting nothing but a desperation to find the next heroin fix.

Which she always has found—much to the chagrin of Whore-baby's current group o' hangers-on. And, trust, when a bunch of nobody poseurs who leech on to a star's fading wattage just to get attention start worrying for their so-called friend's welfare, that amiga's gotta be in pretty pitiful shape. And Past-tense sure is.

So much so, in W.'s increasingly notorious state of euphoric Hell-Ay horniness, she's screwing busboys here, waiters there, car parkers, too—and she never stops to think that these (almost always skinny) dudes just might talk. 'Course, they haven't (yet), but W.T.'s buds sure as ef have. And the only other thing that's got these ultra-classy hangers-on—not to mention W.T. watchers—gabbing as much would be Ms. Pee's skeletal frame. For your next meal, hon, you might try a noodle, not a needle.

And it ain't: Beyonce Knowles, Courtney Love, Kate Bosworth

Also eliminated: Jenna Jameson, Mischa Barton, Cher, Lara Flynn Boyle

Vintage BV - Gloria Good-Hag

Another oldie but goodie from Ted

One Needling Blind Vice - Nov 2005

You can't take the SAT with a Bic pen. And you can't swing a drug test on heroin. Too bad Gloria Good-Hag didn't know that.

Gloria Good-Hag has a great career. She's also quite adept at bedding her leading men, most notably Bill Bisexual (Gloria's most recent 300-count-style notch). But is it the dudes who interest the lithe sexpot the most?

No way. And no--this ain't yet another homo-laden nooky story--it's not the girls, either, who do it for Glor. It's the horsies.

Not the gambling kind, darlin's, the shoot-'em-up kind, as in smack. Horse. Heroin.

And just in case you didn't know, heroin happens to be so in right now. Forget painkillers (too Michael J.) or porno (too Tom S.). It's all about the high one gets from snorting or shooting this incredibly potent--and addictive--opiate. Heaven help the guys 'n' gals who are currently obsessed with the stuff, most recently Jordache Junky, the star who screwed the cater-waiter in One Step-by-Skanky-Step Blind Vice a coupla weeks ago.

Gloria's more crisp, more aloof than emotional Jordache. She's also more stupid, have to say. The ditzo broad didn't even know how to fool the standard insurance drug testing on her last glossy pic, Isn't Life Seamless?, and she turned up positive for heroin.

Consequently, Isn't's producers had to pay double the premium on Gloria's skinny little bum. And let's say these suits were about as pleased with this development as Isn't's makeup artists were each morning with Gloria's puss.

Enough concealer to make Joan Rivers youthful again was required for the bags under Gloria's strung-out eyes. Particularly since Isn't's makeup look was something akin to a White Linen photo shoot.


And it ain't: Maggie Gyllanhaal, Charlize Theron, Claire Danes

Also eliminated: Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman,

Lainey - Casting Couch

Today a new riddle from Lainey Gossip -

Casting Couch

It was mystifying several years ago why she was hyped the way she was hyped. Just another starlet with no real significant starring vehicles somehow ending up with a prestigious magazine cover proclaiming her as the next It. Well It never happened. And after all this time and a string of failures, she’s been trying to change the course. So she’s gone back to the major player who tried to make it happen for her the first time. There was an arrangement back then – her sexual services for his professional services – and apparently the same arrangement was resurrected recently in the hopes that she’ll finally confirm a juicy role to kickstart a stagnant career.

Never mind that he’s married. His wife benefits handsomely from his generosity and while he may not fulfill her with fidelity, he certainly makes up for it through client exchange. Probably better that way. And given what he looks like, it totally makes sense. But he is a legend in the business both for his accomplishments and for the way he leads these ladies to their accomplishments, counting a couple of award winners and a few box office heavyweights on his resumé…which is why he quickly tired of our poor girl and discarded her.

But not before drying her out. One day late summer, they were joined in a hotel suite by a third gentleman (identity insignificant), both of them enjoying her as she allowed herself to be taken, and, um, decorated appropriately, all for a reward at the end of the session – the privilege of simply looking at a script, no promise, no confirmation…just an advance read. And a suggestion to show up at a premiere for a few introductions. She is so desperate, it’s been so meagre, she submitted to the humiliation although gamely seems to have enjoyed it. An actor after all, obviously able to shut out her husband and child waiting for her back at home.

And then he just cut it off. Told her he could no longer help her. That her body in his bed was no longer required. Which of course only added to her degradation. She tried and tried to offer up more, willing to engage in further depravity, but was only met with rejection. Because he’s moved on. He’s hunting his next target. A young, nubile, blonde babe with a large profile and a perky rack who so far has been able to resist his advances but is trying to graduate from supporting roles in film, as the fact that she’s a headliner on the small screen has not helped with the quality of scripts she’s being offered, or with many of her auditions so far. She’s currently waiting on a big break and he’s trying to make sure it doesn’t happen, so that in her disappointment, she’ll come running to him, ready to wheel and deal.

Note: there are 4 famous names at play – the reject, the replacement, the power player, and his wife.

Update 1/8/10- Lainey has eliminated Kate Beckinsale, Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck, Anna Paquin, Kate Bosworth, Sienna Miller, Nicole Kidman, Evan Rachel Wood, Michelle Pfeiffer, David E Kelley, AnnaLynne McCord, Ali Larter, Monica Potter, Woody Allen, Amanda Peet, Jerry Bruckheimer, Jamie Pressley.

Current top suspects:
reject - Gretchen Mol, Jessica Alba
replacement - Blake Lively
power player - Harvey Weinstein
his wife - Georgina Chapman

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Buzzfoto - 12.24.09

This male television star has been fighting off rumors about his sexuality for some time now. He hasn’t confirmed or denied and seems to put down any credibility to speculation. We have a source that says the star is not really interested in revealing his sexuality, because he doesn’t really care about it himself. He has no drive, no real sexual preference and no interest in a sexual relationship. His asexuality is pretty well known among family and friends, but he has no desire to advertise it to the world.
Not Zachary Quinto.

Buzzfoto - 12.23.09

Trouble is brewing between these two Celebrity families who used to be very close friends and the trouble started with their children. One child from one of the families is being accused of bullying a younger child from the other family. Apparently, when the two clans get together this older ‘bully’ pushes, hits, threatens and intimidates. To make matters worse, when the accusations were brought up, the parents of the child denied it and claimed that their child was close to perfect, further causing tension. Needless to say, the two families aren’t hanging out anymore….
No one from Sarah Jessica Parker's family.

Vintage BV - Melba Toasted

In light of our recent news from Ted that Brittany Murphy was a Blind Vice in the past, here is an oldie we dug up that could be her.

One Poor Me Blind Vice - June 1, 2005

Melba Toasted may know how to get a primo paycheck, but the poor brat just can't seem to get a friggin' break, nonetheless. Boo-hoo.

Ever since Melba's man, Devon Heaven, decided he wanted less wasted pastures (bedroom- and life-wise), Melba has simply been a wreck. I mean, what's a jilted princess to do? Start writing a column called "Dear Jennifer"? Doubt Melba's thought of anything so tacky--or common.

'Cause we got ourselves a royal weepy one here, fer sure. See, Devon's wrong, Toasted's agents are wrong, the bartender's wrong, everybody's effing up but Melba-doll. Hey, M., think about it for a sec: Ever wonder if maybe, just maybe, you and your nose-bleed baddie ways had something (even if just a tad) to do with why the more intimate members of your existence seem to be abandoning you right now?

Well, everybody except desperate relations (and percentage peeps), 'course.

Girlfriend P.S.: Oh, and the stalking you've been caught pulling on Devon and his new honey? Ain't pretty. You're just getting too old for tacky teenybopper bullcrap.

And it ain't: Drew Barrymore, Mischa Barton, Kirsten Dunst

Ted also eliminated: Lindsay Lohan, Kate Bosworth, Courtney Love, Reese Witherspoon,

Comments please!

Brittany Murphy's Blind Vice?

We here at Blind Items Exposed are a big fan of the movie Clueless. We will miss the talented actress Brittany Murphy. May she rest in peace.

After her recent death, Ted has revealed to us that she was indeed a Blind Vice in the past. However, it is not appropriate for him to reveal which one at this time. We can respect that. However, we wish to discuss here which one she may be, this particular thread to the topic.

Remember.... her reps had threatened to sue Ted years ago over the Jordache Junky BV. But Ted had said that Brittany was not Jordache Junky.

Please comment if you have any ideas and supporting arguments for such.

Page Six - 12.22.09

New York Post Page Six from a few days ago

Which knock out party girl, a mistress of a huge sports star, has her lips plumped at the SmoothMED clinic on East 59th Street? . . .
WHICH lady who recently filed for divorce is trying to lure her husband to a Christmas reunion? Friends suspect she hopes to generate footage for a reality show.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Lainey- Tranny Ego Blow

I’ve been saving up. There’s an even smuttier one to come later. But it’s almost Christmas. Christmas is about gossip gifts. This one is NOT FOR PRUDES. He was working out one day at the gym and a well known tranny caught his eye. So he gave her the signal and they ended up in the bathroom where he told her it wasn’t the first time he’d been with a tranny and then she blew him and the entire time it was all cocktalk as he kept asking her “Do you know whose dick you’re sucking…?” like she was supposed to be honoured by his penis in her mouth. With him, it’s always about ego. Even when he’s being serviced, he still needs affirmation for his ego. Hilariously though, at the time, she had no clue she was helping herself to an award winning artist.
Not 50 Cent. Not Justin Timberlake. Not Josh Groban.

Update 12/23 - Lainey has also eliminated Eminem.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Lainey - No one will tell him he sucks

Lainey's new riddle today -

No one will tell him he sucks

There’s a dirtier riddle coming later in the week but here’s an easy quickie for now.

He wants this so badly, to be taken seriously as an actor. But on the set of his new movie, everyone is baffled. By how terrible he is. Like laughably terrible. The worst timing, the most awkward line reads, cheesy expressions… at this point it’s become a fun work-time activity: watch him get through a scene, feel the fontrum for him while he sucks it so hard so obliviously, giggle your tits off later because he walks around thinking he is the sweetest sh-t ever.

There’s an ego involved, of course, and he actually thinks he’s doing a good job, that he is gifted in this discipline too. Please. He is not gifted. And his lack of gifts in this respect could cost the entire production. The weakest link drags it all down. Which is why people are mystified that the director has not bothered to fix it. Like suggesting more classes, like pushing his coach, like replacing him with someone who can actually do it? None of the above. Word is, he’ll make the corrections in post by greatly reducing the role. Unless there’s a miracle and suddenly Cate Blanchett comes out of his ass to save the day. Not likely.

Update 12/23 - Lainey has eliminated Robert Pattinson.

Our top suspect: Justin Timberlake

Friday, December 18, 2009

Blind Vice: Which Vampire's Batty for Boys?

From Ted today -

Blind Vice: Which Vampire's Batty for Boys?

No wonder so many gay men are gossip columnists: All these supposedly "straight" stars are constantly cruising us (and our friends) for sex!
And the latest celeb to daringly do so is one of the biggest, hunkiest vampire sensations out there right now. So much so, even I was shocked when a bud of mine, who gets off hunting around Griffith Park—a notorious area of L.A. where homosexual sex in the woods is rampant and a constant annoyance to the police—enjoyed what you're about to read.
Nelly Fang is as hot as he is adored by his millions of fans. His smoldering looks are talked about just as much as (if not more so than) his red-hot acting talents.
Nelly simply smolders onscreen, what with his trance-like gaze and lithe, mildly muscled bod, which he keeps in shape by jogging through Griffith Park, wearing shorts but no...
...underwear, oh my!
I wonder if that's because Nelly likes to be extra-free to whip it out, just in case he needs to take a whiz? Nah.
More likely, that lack of clothing constraint is due entirely to Nelly's penchant for stopping a guy who catches his fancy on the trail so he can lure his conquest to a hidden path and then have hot, hot, hot sex under the sun! Something Fang's now done with my friend not once, but twice!
Love it! And people say Tiger's a slut! So glad Woods isn't the only celeb who's being supernaughty these days, what a relief.
"He's a real talker, too," adds Nelly's lucky path partner. "He kept saying, 'Yeah, do it, yeah, you like that, don't you, yeah, you like my ass?' "
Oh my. If only Nelly's gazillions of girlie worshippers could hear him talk. They'd either try to convert him or tell him to start talking dirty to them—or they'd stop being his fan—or both.
By the way, I'm sure if you've made it this far, you'll want to know the rest of the dirty deets, which are: Yes, Nelly's endowed (longer than wider, to be precise), and yes, he's a very neat boy down there.
"Very groomed," was how Mr. Fang's private parts were further described to me. Or to be even more precise (and gay): "Manscaped."
Hmmm. How very interesting, as this body-maintenance routine doesn't match the sometimes slightly grungy image Nelly likes to show off to the very unknowing public.
And it ain't: Kellan Lutz, Brad Pitt, Ryan Kwanten

Update 6/22/12 - Ted has eliminated Kellan Lutz, Brad Pitt, Ryan Kwanten, David Boreanaz, Jackson Rathbone, Robert Pattinson, Jamie Campbell Bower, Stephen Moyer, James Cameron. Peter Facinelli, Gerard Butler, Ian Somerhalder, Kiefer Sutherland, Allan Hyde, Cam Gigandet, Scott Speedman, Taylor Lautner, Sam Worthington, Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, Rostam Batmanglij, Jason Dohring, Alex O'Loughlin, Anna Paquin, Kristen Stewart, Paul Wesley, James Marsters, Brendan Fehr, Eddie Murphy, Eric Bana, Denis O'Hare, Tim Tebow, Taylor Kinney, Ryan Reynolds.

* Our top guess: Alexander Skarsgard

* Proven by timeline of Ted's dates he was and wasn't a BV:  Alexander Skarsgard is Nelly Fang.

See the label below for a link to the new Nelly Fang BVs.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Lainey- Holiday Riddles

2 from Lainey today:

Which recently singled douchebag’s publicist has been calling every tabloid begging them to print his version of the breakup in order to protect his ego? The rep has been desperately trying to play competing publications against each other to make sure his client comes out of it with his penis size preserved which only reinforces the widely held belief that his client is a giant prick – in personality, and not necessarily in his pants.

Everyone knows about this delightful action star’s relationship with the head of his company and that his wife isn’t really his lover. But the boyfriend is jealous and overprotective and now his hiring practices are raising some eyebrows. He will not hire anyone prettier/hunkier/more stylish than he is for fear of tempting his famous partner.

* Our top guesses: For #1 Alex Rodriguez; For #2 Hugh Jackman

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Straight Dude Buds Stand Up Tall for Toothy Tile

From Ted Fri 12/11 -

Straight Dudes Stand Up for Toothy Tile
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Movie (Dagger) Poster Print - 22x34Something our dear, closeted Toothy Tile most certainly does not share with his also-in-the-closet brethren like Lloyd Boy-Toyed, Crotch Uh-Lastic and Jackie Bouffant is a virtual cornucopia of straight buds.
I don't mean the pretend kind, but the ones you never see Toothy photographed with. Yeah, you heard me right: These are heterosexual bros with whom Toothy loves to shoot the shit, have a few brews, talk about the broads, all that 100-percent-cotton American man stuff Toothy just can't seem to let go from his, like, totally gay life.
OK, it's cool, I have tons (maybe a few) gay friends who are completely into the SUVs/watching sports/unshowered thing, maybe it's not so completely weird that Toothy's wired that way a little, too?
But what's wacko is when these boy-buds o' Toothy's start, shockingly...
...coming to the put-upon pooftah's defense! At parties! At bars! At ball games! At beach barbecues! It's getting friggin' hi-larious!
And no, these dudes who actually do know Toothy rather well are not defending Mr. Tile's very publicized fauxmance and whether or not it's legitimate, hardly.
Nope, instead, they're busy saying, as of late, that Toothy and his man are doin' just fine, thank you, and further more, "They're the real thing." These het amigos like to tell this to anybody who starts talking crap about their good friend.
Backstabbing gossip gets these hetero friends of Toothy's so very riled up, they've lately been stating how "in love" Mr. and Mr. Toothy Tile happen to be right now. So there!
Wow. With friends like that, who needs gossip columns? But ain't it nice to now how truly true-blue Toothy is?
I knew it all along, didn't you?
I mean, come on, I would never have given a hateful scum-schmuck such press. Toothy's cool. Just currently a bit lost.
And it ain't: James Marsden, Kellan Lutz, Javier Bardem

Well that's good news... I was wondering what their deal was.

See our links for more posts on Toothy. He is Jake Gyllenhaal and his boyfriend is Austin Nichols.

Here is our ongoing full list of those who have been eliminated as Toothy Tile.
Here is our ongoing list of who has been eliminated as Grey Goose (Toothy's boyfriend).

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Buzzfoto 12/7/09

We're not sure why everyone cares so much about this whole Tiger Woods thing. Sure, it's despicable, but it's not like it's unique. What would really shake things up is if the mistresses started coming out for this married female A list singer. Not Christina Aguilera.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Blind Vice: Is America Ready for Butter's Supershocker?

Ted's BV today -

Blind Vice: Is America Ready for Butter's Supershocker?
O, The Oprah Magazine (1-year auto-renewal)
Interesting past couple of weeks: Adam Lambert pushes the sexuality envelope by tonguing a guy on national TV, and the world cries yuck. But chicks such as Britney Spears, Madonna, and Tila Tequila do the same and everyone thinks it's just so dangerously sexy. Double standard, anybody? Yeah, what else is new in antigay America?

In this very same sexually and politically charged media firestorm, megaceleb Butter Pussy is charting her next career choice privately.
It's no secret folks have wondered, in varying degrees, whether Butter rides the gay or straight bus (some insist she's a regular passenger on both), and she's certainly had her own battle with goss headlines in the past regarding her sexuality.
But now Butter's decided to...
Go against what all of her friends and professional advisors have been hammering at her for years not to do:
She's decided to come out as a gay woman!
Butter is terribly encouraged by Ellen DeGeneres' success with celebrating her love for Portia de Rossi while still maintaining (hell, even increasing!) her celebrity relevance. And this is very dear to Butter's heart, even though many think the multitalent's really only been in the Biz all these years just for the bucks.
What's far trickier for Ms. P. is just what to do about the man and large extended family in her life. She's far more concerned how this announcement will affect them, not her. After all, money isn't necessarily that big of an issue anymore, but Pussy's exceedingly aware her future financial coffers might be adversely affected by this scandalous planned press conference. And that's giving her tremendous pause at the moment.
Will all the ol' reliably closeted machinery of Hollywood win out in the end—and Butter will continue to maintain her (fairly) discreet preference for the chicks?
It's a fascinating dilemma. Particularly if Butter continues her super-risky habit of feeling up well-heeled babes under the table at all those fancy dinner parties she goes to.
And it ain't: Hillary Clinton, Fergie, Hilary Swank
Update 5/18/11 - Ted has eliminated Hillary Clinton, Fergie, Hilary Swank, Whoopi Goldberg, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Dolly Parton, Diane Lane, Jessica Biel, Martha Stewart, Chelsea Handler, Nicole Kidman, Katy Perry, Whitney Houston, Kirstie Alley.

See our label below for our posts on the more recent Butter Pussy BVs.

Top suspects: Oprah Winfrey

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Blind Vice! One Doozy of an Extramarital Affair

Happy Thanksgiving! This one was from Ted yesterday 11/25 -

Blind Vice! One Doozy of an Extramarital Affair

Enough with the skanky, closeted "straight" movie stars out getting photographed with their pretend girlfriends while doing guys on the side.

This week we're goin' back to those sneaky heterosexuals who originally wrote the book on cheating on their partners, not to mention the public!

Quidget and Bridget Barks-a-Little are a Hollywood dream couple, as in they both do it all with darling personalities and multitalented careers. And oh, aren't they gorgeous to look at, too, what with their sweet smiles and even sweeter kiddies?

Then there's the much darker celeb duo known as Harry and La-Feelya Fun-Tanked, an amazingly hard-partying twosome who are much better known for their combative social and cohabitation skills than they are for any picture of domestic bliss.

I mean, most folks don't even know Harry and La-Feelya have kids, that's how much their domestic side is never played in the press—or any place else, for that matter. White-picket-fence types they're so not.

So isn't it so interesting that La-Feelya, who's still awesome-looking with her curves and cat-like attraction, and who has pretty much decided she's had it with too-far-gone Harry, just recently set her sights on a bacon-earner with a little more, how shall we say, predictability (i.e., steady paycheck and richly rewarded career)? Yep.

So much so that...

La-Feelya just went whole horny hog on the poor Quidget (who's marginally handsome) and seduced the crap outta him—almost literally! Quidget almost forgot sex could be this hot again! Which explains, of course, why he and La-Feelya have decided to leave their respective families and hook up together, permanently. So glad to know it's not only the gays who make dumbass decisions after a few really hot nights in bed!

Only one little prob: Quidget and La-Feelya haven't told their spouses yet. Ouch.

Wonder if this heartbreak will actually come to pass? Something tells me that once Bridget Barks-a-Lot finds out what her ordinarily soft-spoken hubby's been up to, she's gonna call up every soccer mom she can for a little sympathy. Then she's going to see to it that every cent of her family's money will never be touched by slinky La-Feelya's slim and very gorgeous fingers.

In fact, I guarantee it.

So, here's what I predict: Once Quidget tells Bridget of his departure intentions (which I hear he's planning on doing momentarily), he will be knocked so far back on his slightly soft ass he'll just as quickly beg Bridget to forget it—he just can't go through with it all, breaking up his family like that.

But it will be too late. Bridget ain't the type of gal to go for that weakass apologetic crap. She'll want out for good. It's a certainty.

Oh, and what's Harry doing through all of this turmoil, you ask?

Just getting high. He doesn't care either way, really.

And it ain't: Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes, Sting & Trudie Styler, Jerry O'Connell & Rebecca Romijn

* Update 1/5/10: None of the couples are Susan Sarandon/Tim Robbins, Kate Winslet/Sam Mendes.

La-Feelya is not Heidi Fleiss, Drea DeMateo, Kyra Sedgwick.

Harry is not Shooter Jennings, Kevin Bacon.

Bridget is not Felicity Huffman.

Quidget is not William H. Macy.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Twilight's Rocky Trailer Makes a Daring Move!

From Ted yesterday - Bonus Blind! Twilight's Rocky Trailer Makes a Daring Move!
Everyone wants a status update on Rocky Trailer - one of the many bisexual stars caught up in the Twilight mega franchise.
Clearly none of the New Mooners blabbed about their tendencies to swing both ways. Ya know, getting turned on by guys and girls.
This doesn't come as that big of a surprise to us. Like we said, we'd believe it when we heard it. It's always easier for an actor to think they'll break boundaries by coming clean about their sexuality, but so few ever do.
Our own Taryn Ryder encountered Rocky very recently and actually and had quite the run-in...
Rocky was totally hitting on her! That's right, couldn't get enough of the—let's face it—not exactly nun-like look she had going on.
R.T. knew T.R. was a reporter, yes, but didn't seem too shy about wanting to get to know her further...
Must say, our dear Taryn was taken aback! Being a member of Team Awful she, of course, knew all about Rocky's fluid sexuality. Maybe Rocky was just playing with us? Doubtful.
So has Rocky chosen a side? Not exactly, but we'll be more than eager to see if Trailer chats about his or her ways during next year's Eclipse press—as we've been informed will most certainly be happening.
Funny thing is, Summit's just about as shocked nothing came out (pun intended) as we are, regarding Rocky's bisexuality. Don't know if they're happy or disappointed. We're, uh, intrigued.
And it ain't: Christian Serratos, Michael Sheen, Ashley Greene

Link to other Rocky Trailer BV from Oct 23 here including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Lainey: They All Fall Down - 11/20/09

Very promising, very young, very well connected star was completely smashed at an afterparty recently, stumbling, mumbling, a total embarrassment, and not quite legal. She doesn’t eat, she’s drinking heavily, she’s experimenting with some other substances, she’s practically living with her boyfriend, and there is rarely an adult around to supervise. Many thought she had passed the danger stage and she’s so promising, especially with her pedigree, that they’ll lie and hide and camouflage when she f-cks up, hoping that the phase will pass. But drama runs in the family, they should watch this one closely before she goes the way of the Lohan. Because people are talking and these people are accustomed to seeing young girls get f-cked up all the time. She’s going so hardcore though that she’s getting their attention.

Update Nov 26 - Lainey has eliminated Miley Cyrus, Taylor Momsen, Dakota Fanning, Rumer Willis

Our top guess: Emma Roberts

Friday, November 20, 2009

Crotch Returns in Slinky, Undercover Blind Vice!

New Ted BV today -

Crotch Returns in Slinky, Undercover Blind Vice!

Darlings, we were going to give you a New Moon Vice update, but for all of you who are so sick of vampires you could cry blood, we'll reward you by bringing back an oldie but yummy goodie.
JAMES FRANCO 24X36 COLOUR POSTER PRINTRemember Crotch Uh-Lastic, the hunky, rising male star who would hire men to come back to his Hills pad, dress up in some swim trunks and get the naughty party started?
We can't believe it's almost been two years, but Crotch has officially risen, like a hunky hero out of burning celeb-saturated waters! Mr. Uh-Lastic has solidified himself as a respected Hollywood actor, which means it's time to be even more discreet 'bout his homolicious ways...
See, Crotch would love to go out, hit up the gay scene and bring himself back a cutie. But as the fagola Hollywood story goes, he so cannot out himself.
Not because he cares about being famous. No, Toothy Tile Crotch is not. Instead, CUL is more concerned how his sexuality would hinder the roles he gets, 'cause he's now being taken oh so seriously. He loves acting—not the ritzy lifestyle that comes with it. He doesn't even care that much about hurting his beard (if Toothy outted himself, it would be very damning to the both of them, in many, many ways).
So what's a horny, dude-loving guy to do?
Sic his assistant on the unknowing gay population of Los Angles, natch. Only problem is the de-lish men in West Hollywood are totally starting to catch on—and they're blabbin' about it, too! Halle-homo-lujah!
Mr. Lastic's assistant frequents the standard WeHo gay bars, successfully luring back men for his famous master. Too funny: It's also the exact same dude-fishing MO Furrowed Frank uses when he has his trainer lure future conquests for him at the gym!
Only problem is, if said man isn't interested in hooking up with Crotch on the down-low, the guy has no reason not to spread it around to his gossip-lovin' friends. Seems pretty strange to us, as Mr. U.-L. is as hunky doable as they come.
And as sneaky as Crotch would like to be, more and more people 'round town are starting to hear about what goes down, literally, up in his Hollywood home. And it's not just poolside, folks.
Think any of these guys will out dear old Crotchy soon? Doubtful. With his adorable dimples, more men will jump at the chance to jump CUH and then shut up about it after than won't. But remember, it only takes one.

And it ain't: Alexander Skarsgard, Matthew Fox, Ryan Phillippe

Top guess: Still James Franco.

Links to the two previous Crotch Uh-Lastic blind vices are here: Aug 8, '08 including a full list of those eliminated, and the first from Aug 1, '08.
And here is the most recent - Oct 8, '10.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

One Daringly Domesticated Blind Vice

From Ted on Friday....

One Daringly Domesticated Blind Vice

Poor Judas Jack-Off. He now has it as bad as permanently closeted movie star Toothy Tile. Only, I fear Judas is not even pretending to be happy, quite unlike Toothy.
Remember, our very handsome and very unkind Judas is still trying to get the ditched BF to have sex, all the while out prancing to the gullible world with his gorgeous girlfriend—whenever there's an available photo op, that is.
But whereas Toothy actually likes hanging with the beard at home and out with the kids, Judas doesn't, at least not as much.
Maybe that's the reason Judas has suggested to the GF, whom he glumly now lives with, that they should both take up...
...flying. As in, in a plane. As in 37,000 feet in the air. These two beauties are supposed to take their lives in their own hands, all 2012-like, and fly over Los Angeles like it's a damn movie set, or something?
Now, either this is a true effort on Judas' part to make their prearranged living arrangement genuinely more exciting (i.e., bearable), or Mr. J.J. is planning on using one of those parachutes that go up with these schooling planes and jumping off with his after the dimpled girlfriend's chute suddenly disappears, or better, yet, malfunctions?
It's all just too weird, too much. The sudden interest in having a hobby together (and a life-threatening one, at that), after getting shacked up in a living sitch Judas has never wanted to be in the first place. What's up, Judey?
But then, some guys are just p--sies when their managers and their agents tell them to stay put and figure out how to make it look real. Know what I mean, Toothy?
Don't go up in that plane with Judas whatever you do, girlfriend!
And it ain't: Jake Gyllenhaal, Lance Armstrong, Matthew McConaughey

Use the labels below for links to our previous posts on the JJO/DDD BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: Hayden Christensen  and ?

Friday, November 6, 2009

Ted's new "People who are not Toothy" Gallery

JAKE GYLLENHAAL 24X36 COLOUR POSTER PRINTTed has created a "People Who Are Not Toothy" gallery today. All of the 12 people featured are repeat eliminations. We here at Blind Items Exposed have been keeping track all along... you can find out post here. Anyway, here is what Ted said:

Who Is Toothy Tile? Here are 12 People He's Not!

The hunt's been on for as long as Angelina Jolie's been working men—and women. Closeted quasi-hunky movie star Toothy Tile has legions of folks wondering who he is, and he's become our biggest Blind Vice superstar.
While Toothy's busy—chatting up fellow not-out gay stars or apparently trying to go straight—we're gonna help the guessing game along. In more of a, uh, back-door kinda way.
See, we're going to tell you fab detectives who Toothy isn't!
Behold our People Who Are Not Toothy Tile gallery! We'll start updating this more often so you sexy sniffers can see the fellas who most definitely are not the erstwhile closeted T.T. And keep the guesses coming!

Included in the Gallery, including the captions with each photo:

Zac Efron: Zac's still up and coming—although we must say, his career is looking better than Toothy's right now.
Will Smith: Will certainly flashes those pearly whites, so we see why he would be an obvious guess. But come on—W.S. loves to blab about his and Jada's sexcapades. Toothy doesn't do that about his beard, and certainly not about dear old Grey Goose.
Brad Pitt: Pitt's in a whole other status level than T.T.—fame- and kids-wise.
Gerard Butler: G.B. has only been getting a lot of press lately because of the various women he's supposedly bedded. Toothy's never been that guy. At least not in any kind of repeat fashion.
Matthew McConaughey: Sorry, Toothy's M.O. is hardly to play the bongos nude. It's to have secret guy-on-guy rendezvous in parking lots…duh. Well, used to, at least, before he went all publicist on us.
Ben Affleck: Sorry, Ben's got his own issues to deal with, and they aren't Toothy Tile's. But of all the dudes on this list, Ben comes closest to T.T., acting oeuvre-wise.
Kevin Spacey: It's obvious why Spacey would be an obvious choice here. Except T.T. is younger and is still working his way up the H'wood ladder. Kevin is too vintage. Too a lotta things.
Shia LeBeouf: Too young—and Shia's problems are way too public. Toothy likes to keep his stuff über-secret, you all should know that by now. Also Toothy controls his substances far better.
Jamie Foxx: Probably the least likely Tooth candidate of this list. T.T. isn't that dark and handsome. At least not to some folks. Also, J.F. hardly hides his naughtiness, unlike Tooth, who's all about it these days.
Ryan Gosling: Thank goodness it's not a stud fave of Team Awful's like Gosling. Toothy's beard has most definitely not been Rachel McAdams. Think less studly, slightly.
Robert Pattinson: Fear not, Team Edward—R.Pattz hasn't been relevant long enough to be a contender in the Toothy guessing game. But he's sure got the right blush.
Bradley Cooper: Cooper has his secrets, sure, but he's not quite Toothy status yet. Although B.C. is a fab guess.

As we said, none of these elims are surprises to those of us who have been keeping track of past eliminations. So this gallery gives us no new information, except little hints in the captions.
Toothy of course is Jake Gyllenhaal for anyone who is new to our site or Ted's column.

Here is our ongoing full list of those who have been eliminated as Toothy Tile.
Here is our ongoing list of who has been eliminated as Grey Goose (Toothy's boyfriend).

Blind Vice: Back From the Dead and Bisexual, Too!

New BV from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Back From the Dead and Bisexual, Too!

There's a humpy dude who's still gorgeous and who used to be on a hit TV show that was often centered around lots of sand, and lots of boobs.

Let's call him Sandy Boob then, shall we?

Sure is pretty, that Sandy! He's also notoriously horny, and has been for many, many years, which, for the record, is about as much time it's been since Sandy's been a relevant player in the biz. Hmm. Could that be why Sandy's suddenly getting less and less discreet about the fact that he likes to do what Crotch Uh-Lastic does, i.e, seduce guys to watery locales?

Yeah, probably, but guess what? Now that Sandy's career is on hiatus (and has been for some time), Sandy's friends tell us Mr. Boob decided for that very reason to start...

...not only acting out more sexually (hey, a release is a release, right?), but to also intentionally do it in a more cavalier fashion. Secretly hoping to get caught, just so he can deny it. After all, Sandy likes girls, has procreated, and always looks butch when he's caught checking himself out in the mirror. You know the look, right? They sort of grimace when they're checking their perfectly disheveled hair—like it's so paining them to do so.

Well, that just about sums up Sandy's acting talents, come to think of it. But that's beside the point—or not? After all, the only reason Mr. Boob's strutting it out there so much lately is because he's dying for some heat on his career again. If not on his thighs.

And it ain't: Brian Austin Green, Jason Priestley, Peter Gallagher

Update Nov 20 - Ted has also eliminated David Hasselhoff, Matt LeBlanc

Could it be Luke Perry or David Charvet?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A Sex-Addict Blind Vicer Returns!

From Ted last Friday...

A Sex-Addict Blind Vicer Returns!

It seems like Lloyd Boy-Toyed is just one example of an über-famous celeb playing the I-dare-you-to-out-me gay dance.
We're bringin' back an oldie, ladies and gentlemen: Remember Seymour Plow-Me-More? The multitalented, married dude who had a guy service him in a public steam room?
Well, it seems Seymour is back and finding himself in crazier situations than he's used to...
Like the possibility of love. Oh, jeez, can it get any more horrifying than that?
See, this A-list actor was once daringly handsome but has suddenly let age start to get the best of him. Although with the ups and downs in Seymour's life, we can imagine how some of his secrets have taken a toll on his dark features.
Well, it turns out Seymour's getting guy-on-guy frisky again...with a reporter, no less! (Guess Lloyd really started something last time he went hornin' all over a journalist, huh?)
Seymour's companion works for a mediocre outlet, but thanks to his famous partner, said journo just so happens to swoop all the exclusive stuff Seymour and his family have to offer.
Yes, S's wife knows what's going on. In fact, the whole Business knows what's going on. Even the movie studios that employ Plow-Me know about—and approve of—the boy baggage Seymour insists on carrying with him.
S has tried various methods to ungay himself, but the fact remains: He can't keep himself away from this par-tick tabloid type...and no one in this town seems to give a damn. Really?
And it ain't: Kevin Costner, Nicolas Cage, Will Smith

Here is the link to the Nov 2007 SPMM BV; here is the link to the Jan 2010 SPMM BV; and here is the link to the April 2010 SPMM BV.  And here is the Sept 2010 SPMM BV.

As of 6/16/12, Ted has eliminated: Kevin Costner, Nicolas Cage, Will Smith, Chris Rock, David Spade, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Antonio Banderas, Tom Cruise, Brendan Fraser, David Beckham, Barack Obama, Alec Baldwin, Tom Hanks, Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, David Beckham, Leonardo DiCaprio, Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Our top suspect: John Travolta

Monday, November 2, 2009

Lainey- Sex and Drink

Party In The U.S.A.Sex & drink

When do the drugs kick in? Not that you need me to tell you that she’s not so innocent but this is the sh-t that goes on behind the glossy glitter, the packaging, and a billion dollar brand that must, at all costs, be protected. There was a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago. She was actually bragging about it, because of course she desperately wants people to know that she’s having sex. There was a serious sit-down, a discussion about the ramifications of her actions, and a promise from her handlers that she’d be controlled with an agreement that control also comes with a “get rid of the problem” policy that the Lord probably wouldn’t approve of. Turns out she wasn’t pregnant. But she is drinking. And boastful about it too. Once again, it’s the yapping that keeps getting her in trouble. At a shoot recently, she didn’t realise her mic was on. They all get caught with their mic on, don’t they? What came out of her mouth? Oh, only a lot of talk about her experience with “getting f-cked”, like proudly, and more boasting about her flavour for “dirty martinis”, apparently her drink of choice. Great lessons from mommy and daddy.

Update Nov 4 - Lainey has eliminated Taylor Swift, Ali Lohan.

Top suspect/Lainey has semi-revealed to be: Miley Cyrus

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Janet Charlton- Hollywood Whodunit

This singer has been losing weight for an important TV role but she’s doing it the dangerous way- with cocaine – and now she’s addicted. Friends can’t help but notice. During a two hour dinner at La Loggia in Studio City, she went to the bathroom nine times and barely ate a thing. A few weeks later she and her husband ate at Nobu, but she barely touched her food and drank instead. After six trips to the bathroom she practically had to be carried out the door by her husband. She’s convinced she’ll gain weight if she stops using, and her family is frantic.


* Our top suspect: Ashlee Simpson

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Bonus Blind Vice! Nude Dork 's Sexting Strikeout

Bonus from Ted yesterday... sorry for the delay.

Bonus Blind Vice! Nude Dork's Sexting Strikeout

Think most of our homo Vices have totally effed-up ways of pursuing love? Well, don't rule out the horny-ass heteros, cause Adam Pounce-Prick is at the top of the heap when it comes to humiliating ways of getting off.
P.S. I Love YouAdam P.P. dated a few other celebs once becoming a recognizable name—some honeys way out of his league, but they seem to fall for this funny fella's charm, if not his somewhat-appealing looks. But Adam, like every other swell-headed male out there, wants what he can't get.
Cue violins now, please.
Specifically, APP has his randy eye on one particular lady not in the business, not into casual stuff in the boudoir, either. Too bad for Pouncey, cause that's all he's looking for nowadays, and with this gal, he kept getting outright (and painfully) rejected. Did he finally prevail?
Well, listen up:
Those close to the lady of our dear Ad's affections don't say she has high standards or morals when it comes to bedding guys—they say she's a "prude." Because how dare a dude, and a famous one at that, get denied! What an icy bitch this girl is!
Adam has been incessantly texting Miss Priss late at night to thrill her with sweet nothings. Such as? Asking her if she wanted to "suck face," or "roll under the covers with me." We're not kiddin', folks, we couldn't dream up these lame one-liners (that still live in the femme's phone so she can whip 'em out at parties and give everybody a good laugh).
APP's totally horrible pickup lines for a booty call show just how immature he is in real life, not just the man-children he plays onscreen. (Though we give the dude some respect for not flat-out telling her to sit on his face or some other crude Piven-like crap.)
Well after a few weeks, Pouncey finally got the girl to come over by asking if she wanted to watch a movie. Right. Not sure why Miss Priss fell for this dork's see-through excuse, but she came over to his pad. "Door's open," he shouted from inside, and she sauntered in. And there Ad was, standing completely in the buff.
Miss Priss screamed, as any normal babe would who was being flashed (and sexually harassed) by Pouncey's paunchy bod, and flew the ef out of there, leaving Ad cold, alone and with a fab drop-dead line:
"I've already seen your movie."
What a way to woo a girl, man. It's a wonder you get laid at all.
And it ain't: Paul Rudd, Bradley Cooper, Jonah Hill

Update - as of 11/19/11, Ted has eliminated Jason Segel

Top suspect: Gerard Butler

[The top suspect was previously Jason Segel.  See comments for discussion on both this BV and which one could be JS's.]

Friday, October 23, 2009

Blind Vice: Meet Another Bisexual Twilight Star!

New from Ted today:

Blind Vice: Meet Another Bisexual Twilight Star!

Good news! Terry Tush-Trade has a sexually uninhibited companion on the Twilight set—and how.
No, not in that way, you dirty-minded A.T. readers (for the record, Terry seems to have calmed down from when we last checked in). What we mean is that another member of the Twilight franchise is getting all kinds of frisky across the gender borders.
Meet Rocky Trailer, a good-lookin' young thing who really embraces the sex card, and deliciously (and loudly) so!
Oh, except there's one huge difference between Rocky and Terry:
Rocky doesn't give a s--t about keeping this bisexuality thing a secret.
See, R.T. is a free-loving, we're-all-young-and-horny-let's-have-fun-while-we-can kinda person (cast loves Rocky, big-time). Think more like Angelina Jolienot Toothy Tile, Crotch Uh-Lastic or Nevis Divine (nowadays, that is).
Rocky finds sexuality empowering. Although Roc may not have a gay partner now, or who knows if there was actually a really, really serious one in the past, Trailer's unapologetic about the au naturel horny feelings felt for both men and women.
And guess what? This person's identity is going to be revealed sooner rather than later!
That's right: revealed. We're told Rocky T.'s going to talk freely about it all, possibly during press for New Moon, although in the end, that's really Rock's decision, isn't it?
For the record, this isn't some gimmick publicity stunt (like New Moon really needs it). We hear that it's really because Trailer doesn't give an ef who knows the score. Labels are so overrated.
So, reporters, ya ready to ask the right questions? Sure know we are.
And it ain't: Jackson Rathbone, Anna Kendrick, Dakota Fanning

Update Dec 17 - Ted has eliminated Jackson Rathbone, Anna Kendrick, Dakota Fanning, Nikki Reed, Christian Serratos, Michael Sheen, Ashley Greene, Elizabeth Reaser, Kellan Lutz.

Here is the link to the more recent Rocky Trailer BV from Nov 23.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

NY Post - Page Six - 10.21.09

Just asking

Which married music mogul is said to have impregnated an unmarried woman who works for his label in marketing? She's on maternity leave while he's mulling options . . .

WHICH still gorgeous ex-supermodel doesn't use her own skin-care line, which she hawks on TV? She secretly uses Somme Institute's MDT5 regimen instead . . .

WHICH son of a rock icon used his name to score six free tickets to a Broadway show, but then never showed up?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Blind Vice: Lloyd Boy-Toyed Dares to be Outted!

From Ted!-

Blind Vice: Lloyd Boy-Toyed Dares to be Outed!

A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and DivorceGood news: Ever since Toothy Tile decided to permanently bury himself in the proverbial Hollywood closet, it's almost as if Lloyd Boy-Toyed has decided to up his bent for dangerous, risk-taking sexual activities. No, not talkin' about getting it on without a condom—or in a car in a West Hollywood parking lot—but something almost as rebelliously mindless: like hitting on a reporter.
Now, even though Lloyd has always had a penchant for doing things like...
...getting his flirt on with other dudes—even with Toothy himself at the Globes, remember?—Lloyd's reserved his guy-on-guy action for behind closed doors, even if he paid for it.
I mean, let's just say up until now, the riskiest thing Lloyd's ever pulled is wondering if the call-boys will tattle or not. Strange he's not like some bigass stars who insist on confidentiality agreements with their mates (whether hired or not) before jumping between the sheets.
But now Lloyd's taken it to the next level and propositioned a pretty well-known reporter, who's interested. And the code was clear: Said hit-on dude was expected—not told—not to tell. It was a gamble. Will it pay off?
Isn't it odd how the older certain stars get, they simply don't seem to be as interested in the watery, come-on games such stealth gay players as Crotch Uh-Lastic prefer. Does that mean with age comes impatience? Or just lack of imagination?
Tough call, really, because if you ask me, it's pretty lively to ask a journo—who could blow your cover in seconds flat—to get it on. Maybe this is the kinkiest way of them all and Crotch and Toothy (ah, poor Toothy) should be taking notes?
Time will tell on this one.

It Ain't: Dean Cain, Billy Burke, George Clooney

There are two previous Lloyd Boy-Toyed blind vices. Here are the links so you can read them, from September '08 and January '09. On the original bv, you can also see a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Alec Baldwin

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Grey Goose and beard

Yesterday, Ted discussed Austin Nichols and Sophia Bush -

Is Austin Lighting Sophia's Bush?

Even though we here at the A.T. may not understand the appeal of One Tree Hill, we found out that many of you are still eager to read about what this naughty cast is really up to when the cameras stop rolling.
Chad Michael Murray's unfortunate ex, Sophia Bush, showed up to the Sixth Annual Hollywood Style Awards last night with her other more-than-costar, Austin Nichols.
Uh, so is this now almost-official couple the hot new thing in Hollywood?
Hardly! The two are more on the Gyllenspoon track, if anything. I mean, should we get their new moniker ready? Bushnic?
Back to the do:
Sophia looked gorge in a sexy, black lace Max Azria dress and walked the carpet solo, dodging personal questions. However, once she got inside, she was quick to meet up with her "good friend" and costar Nichols, who just happened to be moonlighting as her date, we guess.
The two were not PDA-ish at all, but they were clearly there together. They chatted closely for a while before heading into the theater to watch the show, their goonish guard reps in tow everywhere they went, natch. Hands off the merchandise in every regard. Hello, isn't four a crowd?
Puppy-like Nichols followed Sophia around for most of the night, but when it was time to exit out the front, Sophia made a beeline for the door alone. A-L-O-N-E. Yeah, that makes a lotta sense: your first big outing as a brand-new couple, no coziness whatsoever, and separate exits. Sounds like a real burning love affair with those two already. They make Robsten look like friggin' Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart or somethin'.
Even though Bush referred to Nichols as her boyfriend to friends, Austin played coy when our own Party Girl asked him if they were dating.
"I'm not gonna say anything except that...I'm here to drink. We were talking before. We have a bunch of friends together—we work together," Austin said.
Looks like Nichols has taken a romance tip straight from BFF Jake Gyllenhaal's playbook: boring in public and saving the supposed spicy stuff for behind closed doors.
What, are you two studs too embarrassed to get frisky for all to see? Screw the proper Hollywood dating etiquette and do dumb, young-love stuff next time you're out with your significant other.
Sophia and Austin, we will be very disappointed if this coy stuff turns into coffee dates. Seriously, what's next, doubling up with Jake and Reese at Starbucks? Yeah, we're so sure that's about to happen.
(Big hints for Austin Nichols being Grey Goose.)