Thursday, November 8, 2007

One Slippery Grope Blind Vice - 11/8/07

Ted's latest Blind Vice:
"Okay, enough of the hetero, scatological Vices, time for some good ol’-fashioned homo rump-rangin’ activities for an (old) change! After all, when we got that smelly heap o’ emails from folks complaining about the last few stinky-poo Vices—who knew straight people could have such daring fun with excrement?—did you all think we’d actually not return to our well-stacked library of running scared, extremely horny, closeted Hollywood actors? Please.
So, here we are with Seymour Plow-Me-More, multitalented star and performer, both in and out of the bedroom, where he assumes an amazing array of positions, possibilities and partners. But to be fair, when Sey-babe cheats on his hardly naive honey (whose quasi-attractive face seems to harden with each new trick SPMM picks up), it’s usually with good-lookin’ dudes. In fact, it always is. Take this last time, for ince. Academy Award-nominated Seymour was visiting one of Hell-Ay’s myriad spas, which are to Los Angeles what Greek coffee shops are to Manhattan. This time, for Plow-Me-More’s man-hunting mission, he’d chosen one of Hell-Ay’s more outta the way steam-room joints, toward downtown, thinking nobody would recognize him. Are these celebs on crack? Do they really think incognito only kicks in south of Wilshire? Seymour cornered his latest beefy selection, took off his own towel (still impressive equipment, must say, even though what’s holding it all together hardly is), and asked for what Seymour usually requests his partners to do to him—i.e., get his oversize bum diddled. The boy—he was almost a boy—declined Mr. Plow-Me-More’s gracious offer and suggested to fellate the movie star instead, a lovely idea that was accepted and received, by the by. You see, said nooky provider tells us he thought it would be “a bit much” to be corn-holed by Seymour Plow-Me-More in a public steam room. As if a blow job is nothing more than a simple shaking of hands. Well, in sex-for-everything Hell-Ay, s'pose it is."
And it ain't - The Rock, Chris Rock, David Spade

This is a pretty big one, I think! First of all I can't picture someone famous getting into this situation. Academy Award nominated? If this scandal is true he must be very sure of his career and trustworthy of the other guy.

OK so what we can gather is -
  • Academy Award nominated
  • A multitalented performer
  • Has a wife who is hardly naive, quasi-attractive, and who's face hardens - plastic surgery hint?
  • Possibly a comedian (David Spade and Chris Rock hints?)
  • Possibly "rock" related (The Rock and Chris Rock hints?)
I just keep thinking Seymour is Will Smith. He was nominated for an Oscar for playing Mohammed Ali, is in comedy, and music. And if you ask me, Jada Pinkett Smith's face has had some work done. Any thoughts???
photos courtesy of wireimage.com



* Update Nov 2009 - Here is a link to the November 2009 SPMM blind vice, including a full list of who has been eliminated. The SPMM BV from Januray 2010 can be found here. And the SPMM BV from April 2010 is here.  And the Sept 2010 BV is here.

Our top suspect: John Travolta

6 comments:

duffgrl said...

Will! very good guess. Can't right now think of any other MULTI-TALENTED performer/oscar-nom actor... will think about it.

(Had a hunch though that Tanya Tush-tease and Bubba-Hubba from the 10/5 BV was Will and Jada..may have to post it!)

TheAnswer said...

I see the reasoning with multitalented and Academy Award nominee. And yes Jada Pinkett has a quasi attractive face. But 2 things that don't fit - "oversized bum" and when he says whats holding it together isn't impressive. Will Smith isn't fat so I'd say that rules him out - gotta be someone kinda chubby or outta shape/older - maybe Eddie Murphy. Not sure who he's dating. But he sings/acts/comedian. But then again I haven't seen Will Smith naked so maybe he is out of shape now. I changed my mind - you're right it's Will Smith.

Blind Item Exposer said...

Yes Eddie Murphy has the Saturday Night Live Connection. Good guess could be. Some other ideas worth mentioning - John Travolta (too obvious), Kevin Spacey (in a play with "plow" in the title right now), Sylvester Stallone (nominated for Rocky). BAck to WIll Smith though... he is in good shape but played a character named "Gardner" in the Pursuit of Happyness (spade hint). So back to him. Any other ideas?

sistah2 said...

I dont think its Will Smith, I really dont think he is gay. I think maybe John Travolta. it was well-known (acc. to lots of sites) that he was doing the same stuff in Canada last year (spas, massages, leading to more that one gay tryst) - so this fits and he has gained weight. but, was he ever nom. for Oscar? Eddie Murphy it may be as well. But - Ted never says exactly that this guy is married to a woman. He says Partner - his honey. so it could be K. Spacey - cheating on his sig. other? So, I would say, narrow down to Spacey, Murphy and Travolta. hints of "rock" - maybe 30 Rock ref. then, more likely E. Murphy.

duffgrl said...

John Travolta and Eddie Murphy are good guesses-we've all heard the stories about him so it may seem too obvious..but he fits! He's got the big bum, Oscar nom(almost forgot about that...and his wife if def"hardly naive" and is rumored to have had many affairs w/ men.
Eddie Murphy's a good one too! Didn't even know he had been nominated! He's w/ Tracey Edmunds-Babyface's ex.

sistah2 said...

I still think its Eddie Murphy, but two others come to mind... Richard Gere and Warren Beatty? they both fit, but the "rock" reference really leads to Eddie Murphy.

ad