Thursday, November 15, 2007

Toothy Tile in Awful Truth (again!)

Ted Casablanca mentioned Toothy Tile again in his latest column!

Change o' Homo Heart Only a gay can write a headline like the above, okay? Got that? Now that you do (like anybody’s going to pay attention), just be forewarned our very own beloved, closeted Toothy Tile is being further advised to drop his more obviously fey outings and amigos in lieu of more hetero-sanctioned activities—and a lot of Tooth’s queer friends are mad as hell and preparing not to take it anymore! Nervous, T.T.?
And here's the Blind Vice - One Stalled-Out Blind Vice

Time for an update on the world’s not exactly best-kept secret, the actual identity of Toothy Tile, the (now infamous) closeted homo actor who used to want us to know he liked diddling boys in parking lots and everywhere else imaginable. Our inbox is a curious, overflowing influx of both salivating and outraged disenchantment. Why are we delaying things, they scream in cantankerous unison, as if Toothy’s consulting us personally, like we’re the Columbia School of Homo-Outing Journalism or something. We’ll leave that to other institutions of righteous indignation. We here at Awful still say it’s ultimately up to the celeb—not us—to say she or he leans closer to Rosie or T.R. (Isaiah, we are not.) Oh! Oh! Oh! Our fave reader stab—which are all over the friggin’ map these days—at T.T.’s real name? Joel McHale! Come to think of it, J.M. does linger in wardrobe when I’m trying on the latest Ben Sherman...though, it ain’t him. But listen, Tooth, if you’re reading, and we know you are, just wanna give ya a little fairly heated heads-up: Heaps (albeit small heaps, we’ll admit) o’ your pals are contacting us. They’re complaining not only about this damn about-face on your self-proclaimed mission to take a strong stand at letting the world know how down you are to be queer, but they’re more personally peeved, too. Remember all those canceled dinners and parties and such, the ones where your “people” (who would sell their first adopted Chinese kid for a made-up, ass-kissing item in People) said, "Better not be seen with these fagola guys"? Well, the guys are getting more than put out over your arguably ill-advised, sudden distancing. In fact, it’s prolly safe to say your old gang’s more worked up than a dog-lovin’ bitch after Ellen DeGeneres’ ass, and that’s no joke. Watch it.
And it ain't - The Rock, Shia LeBeouf, Steven Weber

There is at least one hint here... Columbia University. Jake Gyllenhaal attended Columbia for 2 years before dropping out in 2002 according to IMDB. Oh Jakey... just come out already. We love ya!!!


mo said...

I'm glad to see that Ted isn't backing down. The paparazzi footage this week of Jake and Reese together looked pretty real, but then again you could tell they knew cameras were on them, so Jake put on an act. I'm just not sure what Reese's deal is - is she in on it, or is she really clueless and doesn't realize he's using her?

duffgrl said...

Before we close the book on this one-has Jesse Bradford been ruled out??? Because even though I agree Toothy is probably Jake- Jesse also fits in many ways. he also attended Columbia. He was born in of the hints Ted gave was "right between" Elijah Wood and Orlando Bloom...1979 is right between the other 2 actors' birthyears...
He has acted in many films; starred in Swimfan" and, interestingly,played a role as a gay man in the 2005 film "Heights" in which he shared an onscreen kiss w/James Marsden.
This is a line from a Ted letter:

It'll be most interesting. Particularly when Mr. Tile's big-screen job makes a very sensual, boyish splash at the same time.

Splash: swimfan. big screen job: Heights(the letter above was posted in 3/05 not long before the movie came out)
Also: he was mentioned in the NY Post today seen at the 1st anniv. of the Plumm nightclub which he,Noel Ashman and Chris Noth co-own. I think Noel could be Jesse's lesser-known BF.
Another clue: when Adam Brody was guessed, Ted said "right age and looks" they are the same age.

All of this said,still think Jake's our front-runner. just wanted to throw another possibility into the mix.

blurry vice said...

Good points with Jesse Bradford. However I still believe all of the evidence points strongly to Jake Gyllenhaal. He had a public romance with a blonde girlfriend with dimples (Kirsten Dunst), which was one of the main hints in the beginning. Also, at one point last year, or a few months back, Ted gave a strong hint. He had a picture of Jake on the intro page of his column, along with 2 other people, with captions, hinting at what was written in the column that day. The other two people were mentioned, related to their catption. However, Jake Gyllenhaal was NOT mentioned that day. There was a Toothy Tile Blind Vice that day which exactly correlated to the caption underneath Jake Gyllenhaal's picture. That was the biggest giveaway I believe. Also last week's column in which he points out that long-time readers of his column know why he isn't eating up all of the JAke-Reese hoopla. Because he knows that those who read Awful Truth are in the know about Jake.

blurry vice said...

Just read somewhere that Austin Nichols plays a character on Friday Nnight Lights that also has a Columbia School of Broadcasting relation!

Anonymous said...
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j74 said...

Ed Norton? He went to Yale and was in the movie, People vs. Larry Flynt. One of the other things Ted replied to another commenter was something about how Toothy didn't appear to have a steroid body in real life. Norton was the Hulk.