Blind Vice: Relationship Status = Coked Up

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Relationship Status = Coked Up


Relationships are hard, nobody know that more than I do, as I divorced last year. Certainly one big reason why I started smoking again (a habit I will no doubt kick, yet again. It's hideous!). So, it's with more than a bit of sympathy I present to you the sad, sad tale of Vicky Vamp-Void, a gal who knows her way around cocaine far better than she does how to make a successful marriage (or career?) work.
Gosh, and there was such hope for cute Vicky, back when she met her sweet, hot man, who some said was even cuter than Vick!
However, not long ago, Vicky and her guy (who's really a pretty fun dude) made a major change to their relationship:
They decided to get the law involved. Out went their pretty free-spirited living arrangement, and in came rules, traditions and California state laws regarding their domestic situation, which ended up totally cramping the young couple, who were very laid back and quite chill before all this.
Therefore, Vicky's back to her bad habits, which she had avoided while with her man. She's recently been hitting the club-and-party scene with abandon, drunkenly snorting blow whenever and wherever she can. And really, the chick is a total mess; she doesn't even always get it up her nostrils—and the white stuff ends up all over some stained shag carpet, or somebody's shoulder, for all the horrified looky-loos to gasp at.
And to be honest, we're really not certain if Vicky's fellow debauched partiers are more aghast at the waste of cocaine or the callous disregard for whoever may be watching.
But the point is, with only a modicum of talent to fall back on and a man who she's decided she really wants nothing to do with, Vicky's momentary blissful moment of healthy living and a more promising career, seem forever dashed...Certainly at this Lindsay-Lohan-type rate, we have to say.
And It Ain't: Scarlett Johansson, Camille Grammer, Courteney Cox

Here is the link to our discussion on the previous Vicky Vamp-Void BV from March 2008, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Ashlee Simpson

One New Nose About It Blind Vice

Brand new BV from Ted!

Lead-ins:

Who's the latest star to go (no, not gay) totally and pathetically drug addicted? Take a peek in the badass Blind Vice Friday!

Smells Dishy
Vicky Vamp Void has about as much talent as she can fit into her cute little new schnoz. She also has an amour partner, far more promising in the creative goods department, who she’s fastly getting as drug addicted as she is. Revenge? Or just for companion kicks? Take your best guess in One New Nose About It Blind Vice!

One New Nose About It Blind Vice

Vicky Vamp Void recently had some work done to her famed bod, though we think her old mug is just as shrugworthy as her new one. The unnecessary surgery seemed completely cosmetic, but ya never know—cocaine does do some pretty rancid damage to the ol’ septum, boys ‘n’ girls. Stick to Diet Rockstar, kiddos, ‘kay? Vicky has been spotted in the past casually snorting the white stuff at the Spider Club, the semiexclusive hot spot atop Hell-Ay’s Avalon. Spider might be a private place, but Vicks nonchalantly nosedived in front of tons of spying eyes like it was no big deal. Usually, it sure ain’t, since who's left in T-town to throw stones at when everyone’s taken a sniff or two time and time again? But so it goes when you’re a superceleb. Your fun night out becomes game for goss, fer sure—not that getting caught with coke could sink this supposed young role model’s rep much lower.
Recently, VVV’s been seen around just about every hip hang with her intriguing, sexually mysterious partner in crime, Humpy Harlow. The tingling twosome are more than happy to parade in front of the paps, soaring as high as weather balloons. But why is H2, a heretofore pretty iconoclastic star, going along for the Us Weekly upchuck ride? Dunno. Might have something do with the fact that, prior to being attached to V3’s barely there notoriety, Hump was known to not exactly party.
Just a hunch there. But, uh, look for Harlow’s brand-new puss, too, sometime in ’09, we suspect.
Guess H.H. has picked up some average (and lethal) Hell-Ay habits from this wild child gal-pal.
And it ain't: Miley Cyrus, Rachel Bilson, Vanessa Hudgens

Update 2/18/11 -
For Vicky Vamp-Void, Ted has eliminated Miley Cyrus, Rachel Bilson, Vanessa Hudgens, Drew Barrymore, Victoria Beckham, Lindsay Lohan, Scarlett Johansson, Camille Grammer, Courteney Cox, Nicole Richie.
For Humpy Harlow, Ted has eliminated Justin Long, Katie Holmes.

* Top suspects: 
Vicky Vamp-Void = Ashlee Simpson
Humpy Harlow = Pete Wentz

Here is the new VVV BV from Feb 11 2011.