Friday, February 11, 2011

Blind Vice: Relationship Status = Coked Up

New from Ted today -


Blind Vice: Relationship Status = Coked Up


Bittersweet WorldRelationships are hard, nobody know that more than I do, as I divorced last year. Certainly one big reason why I started smoking again (a habit I will no doubt kick, yet again. It's hideous!). So, it's with more than a bit of sympathy I present to you the sad, sad tale of Vicky Vamp-Void, a gal who knows her way around cocaine far better than she does how to make a successful marriage (or career?) work.
Gosh, and there was such hope for cute Vicky, back when she met her sweet, hot man, who some said was even cuter than Vick!
However, not long ago, Vicky and her guy (who's really a pretty fun dude) made a major change to their relationship:
They decided to get the law involved. Out went their pretty free-spirited living arrangement, and in came rules, traditions and California state laws regarding their domestic situation, which ended up totally cramping the young couple, who were very laid back and quite chill before all this.
Therefore, Vicky's back to her bad habits, which she had avoided while with her man. She's recently been hitting the club-and-party scene with abandon, drunkenly snorting blow whenever and wherever she can. And really, the chick is a total mess; she doesn't even always get it up her nostrils—and the white stuff ends up all over some stained shag carpet, or somebody's shoulder, for all the horrified looky-loos to gasp at.
And to be honest, we're really not certain if Vicky's fellow debauched partiers are more aghast at the waste of cocaine or the callous disregard for whoever may be watching.
But the point is, with only a modicum of talent to fall back on and a man who she's decided she really wants nothing to do with, Vicky's momentary blissful moment of healthy living and a more promising career, seem forever dashed...Certainly at this Lindsay-Lohan-type rate, we have to say.
And It Ain't: Scarlett Johansson, Camille Grammer, Courteney Cox

Here is the link to our discussion on the previous Vicky Vamp-Void BV from March 2008, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Ashlee Simpson

53 comments:

blurry vice said...

Ashlee Simpson and PEe Wentz were top suspects for the previous

Kelly said...

Yeah, that totally seals the deal for me. Ashlee Simpson FTW. Sad...

-KADixonLaw

Cecilia00 said...

Yup. Ashlee.

Ted times his blinds, I am convinced of it.

blurry vice said...

Especially since Ted admitted this week that Pete and/or Ashlee were BVS earlier this week,, then said Ashlee def has been. I haven't updated the "list" post with that yet but he said it earlier this week.

Cecilia00 said...

Yup, blurry.

And he has been hinting the divorce is vice related. He wants this one as clear as he can make it.

The one that most surprised me was him saying all Friends have been one except Lisa Kudrow. I wonder which one Aniston is...

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b225186_which_vice_split_up_ashlee_simpson_pete.html

blurry vice said...

2/10
"Dear Ted:
I think most of us were totally blindsided by Pete Wentz and Ashlee separating! Has Mr. Wentz ever been the subject of one of your B.V.s?
—Ella

Dear Di-vicey Divorce:
Oh, we are way ahead of you. Of course, Simps has a vice! And the divorce left us anything but surprised. Let's just say the Simpson-Wentz babe and the Longoria-Parker honey share a lot in common."

Cathy said...

At first his comment about Ashlee and Eva having a lot in common had me confused - is Ashlee a swinger? Is Eva into coke? But then I realized that with Eva, she and Tony had an open marriage, and she divorced him over cheating allegations. With Ashlee, she's a drug user, but she's divorcing him due to his "erratic" behavior. I think that Ted is saying that both women are accusing their exes of something they're guilty of themselves.

blurry vice said...

(Sorry to go off topic)

Cecilia - re Jen Aniston - I am extremely irritated with Ted lately, way too many contradictions on who has been and not been bvs. See our "list of reveals" post for all the contradictions lately. As for Jennifer Aniston, this is a game changer if she has a nickname! We always thought she never was a bv, now she is "attached to one".?? This completely changes things for possible Vince Vaughn and Brad Pitt BVs. Now she could possibly be Divella Sniffella or Diandra Dope (see labels at right). She had always fit with both of those but we were told she was never a BV.

Cecilia00 said...

It was me who went off topic, not you :-)
But yeah, between Jennifer, and Britney, etc. - Ted has been confusing.

Which is why I love when he makes ones like these clear.

All this "Pete Wentz's erratic behavior has led Ashlee to this" must be getting to him as much as Eva throwing it out there that Tony was texting inappropriately.

blurry vice said...

YES I forgot about Britney/Princess powder puff!

Here is an email I just spouted off to Ted -

"Dear Ted,
You have contradicted yourself a lot lately. Sandra Bullock, Steve Carell, and now Jennifer Aniston. And now you have said that King Schlong was a side character before, but this was his first starring role. However, you said in the past that each celeb only gets one nickname and that name is used again until it is revealed. So how come we never saw King Schlong's name before? Was he under a different nickname? Humpy Harlow perhaps? And as for Jennifer Ansiton, you must be aware that this changes everything. Now she is "attached to one"? So, assuming she was a side character, she also has a nickname? But you answered "No" repeatedly because she wasn't the "starring role"? You do realize that this changes everything for the possible Vince Vaughn and Brad Pitt BVs. We always thought she fit for either Diandra Dope or Divella Sniffella, but couldn't be because you said she couldn't be. Now she is one of those, or both perhaps? You do know that you are losing faith in your readers, don't you? Loyal readers who have believed everything you have said are no longer. Don't be surprised as your name is no longer trusted in the gossip world."

Am I being too harsh? I'm just pissed that we base our blind item guesses on the hints he gives. And then he says it's completely something else than what has been said before. So much for our organizing our "list of reveals" thread. Does it really matter when he can go back and contradict himself whenever he wants? Pointless to even read him anymore if that is what he is going to do!

Caz1310 said...

Go Blurry!!! You have the support and wrath of all of us who love this site behind you who are equally as peeved. If Ted wants to shore up his credibility he'd do some reveals. Ooh will watch with interest to see if he publishes your letter!

Cecilia00 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cecilia00 said...

I think Ted can take it.

My instinct says he won't print it, but will indeed clear some stuff up through answering other questions that make it obvious.

David said...

I think the timing is just too perfect for this to be Ashlee. No doubt Ted wants us to think this is her - especially as she was the top guess for the last VVV vice - but to me it feels like he's playing around.

Who else could fit? How about Christina Aguilera? She dated Jordan Bratman for some time before marriage, she certainly looks like she's got the coke bloat lately and we know she was a vice before 8/7/2010.

Stephanie said...

Is this even "blind." Ha! I say Ash. Timing.

Kimber said...

The only other people I could come up with besides Ashlee was Xtina (who still has talent even though she's looking a wreck) or Jamie Pressley, who's been looking rather messed up lately. It just seems like it's "too" Ashlee...if it's her, it's not even blind, is it?

Clancy said...

Cathy, great post. I had no idea what Ted was talking about with the link between Ashley and Eva. Love your theory.

SpaCat said...

Just a question: Why is HH considered to be Wentz? It's unclear if it's just a friend of VVV or if it's someone she's into. Sorry, but it just didn't suggest Wentz to me.

VVV does seem perfectly timed to be Simpson, and who else is young, semi talented, and gotten an obvious nose job? Ashley Tisdale? It seems to be Ashlee.

James Steele said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erin said...

I am totally new to all of this but I was thinking could it possibly be nicole richie? She was a big coke head before she got together with him and they lived together for a while kind of care free before deciding to get married rhis summer.

Erin said...

Or possibly Megan Fox? Her And Brian Austin Green were married.this summer after how many years together and she isn't all that talented.

Guesswho said...

Ted got divorced last year? Didn't he just get married?

I agree that this is Ashlee. But can anyone explain the reference to California laws, rules etc. impacting their living arrangements? I don't get that.

Dollie said...

The laws is what's throwing me off of Ashlee Simpson too. He is implying that they got married recently, bringing the law in to it. Traditions and rules for domestic life and that's what messed things up. Wentz and Simpson were married 2 1/2 years ago. So, that doesn't make sense to me. Nicole Richie got married just back in December. But, I really don't think this is her. The timing isn't right. The first BV was March of 2008 and they were very much the couple and she was about to be pregnant then. The only other couple that might match this is Anna Paquin. She got married in August, they had been dating secretly since 2006. But, I don't think Paquin has been known for a cocaine or hard partying reputation. So, after all of that. I am not convinced this is Ashlee Simpson.

Kelly said...

@SpaCat... I think Wentz is perfect for HH because he used to be straight edge (no drinking, drugs, promiscuous sex, etc.). I think all of Fall Out Boy started out that way, actually. That being said, it would be a huge departure from that lifestyle were he to have dabbled in drugs. Just a thought.

As far as bringing the law into the situation, I agree that, upon first reading it, it was confusing. However, there were stories about a huge blow-up in June, '09 (not long after their marriage) re: Ashlee's out-of-control partying as a result of her feeling trapped (or something along those silly lines). I think, on occasion, Ted almost combines events over a span of time but writes it as if it all occurred during one period of time to throw us off. I'm really tired right now and I hope that made sense to someone other than me! ; )

-KADixonLaw

Lila said...

Re the email to Ted. I agree, it's time for some clarity on his nomenclature! When he says "side character" I think of someone mentioned in the vice but no nickname. He used to give nicknames to side characters more often, but now he tends to use generic labels like "significant other " or something. I wonder - does he read his own archives??

hordac said...

When answered that Ashlee was a Vice, doesn't mean that he had printed it yet. I think that is his loophole here. My theory? We are getting too good at guessing most of these vices and he's doing little things like this to throw in doubt.

lavinder11 said...

Ted has responding to the Jen Aniston flub. He said he meant Lisa hasn't been a star or was a side character. Aniston has been a side character (John Mayer).

lavinder11 said...

I for one, believe it's Megan Fox. I mean, Ashlee hasn't been on the scene for a while, but the girl *can* sing. Fox used to be stunning...

SpaCat said...

The issue with Fox is that her guy is in no way cuter than she is. Maybe that's my opinion, but I find it hard to believe that many would find him hotter than Megan Fox.

Kelly said...

@lavinder11... After reading the first VVV/HH blind indicating that it would be kind of shocking to find that HH was participating in her habits, I have to say that I wouldn't be at all shocked to learn that Brian Austin Greene has partied hard (e.g. Drugs, etc.). I admittedly know very little about him, but I just can't see Megan and Brian fitting this at all. On the other hand, a preacher's daughter and a (former) straight edge rocker doing this would be rather surprising. Please correct me if I'm wrong and/ or totally missing something, though. : )

-KADixonLaw

I said...

This so reads like Ashlee Simpson to me. And many people think Pete Wentz is cuter than her. Especially his fans who apparently can't stand her. And she's recently gotten SO SKINNY...which coke is known to do. Though I don't understand the whole "coke bloat" thing. Isn't coke supposed to make you loser your appetite and get thinner?

J said...

Jamie Presley?

J said...

Christina Aguilera

blurry vice said...

Don't think Brian Austin Green is "sexually mysterious" - see Humpy Harlow/Vicky Vamp Void BV from March 2008.

Cathy said...

I don't think it's a problem that this is "too" Ashley. I think that hypocrisy is something that pisses Ted off more than anything. That's why he put such a thin veil on the last Secretia Ohio and Chester-Shorts-Off BV. He was pissed that Eva was dragging Tony's name through the mud, when she herself was sleeping around. Now he's pissed that Ashlee is accusing Pete of "erratic" behavior, while she herself is addicted to coke. Ted hates hypocrites; just ask Oprah.

Kelly said...

LOL! Amen, Cathy!

Rachel said...

@ Lavinder11
She can sing? Uh, this is the girl who was busted lip-syncing on SNL. Sorry, I am not convinced she can sing.
I do think this blind is her.


www.thebestbadmovies.com

Tara said...

Cathy, I totally feel the same with the Eva reference. Ted hates that crap and she (or Papa Joe) is already pointing fingers at Pete for being "erratic". Mmkay, cokehead.

Adrienne said...

@ Blurry...Way to go Blurry. I totally agree. I have been thinking for the past year that there have been many inconsistencies with what Ted says can/can't/is/isn't- and it has led me to believe either a vice has gotten him in hot water by his source or legal team, or the star themselves.... or they really are fairly transparent so he says they can't be certain people to CYA.
Lets face it, Jennifer Aniston has been around SO many blind vicers in her last 10 years (and more so lately) I always scoffed a little when he said she was vice free. You are not vice free if you are with so many very naughty vicers- you are just tattle free.
Usually when he gets to know a star or their publicist, you see him back off a little. There was a little back rubbing going on IMO.

I said...

Those Simpson girls...fake fake fake. It's so obvious Ashlee is on something - she's soooo skinny and no way is that in her genes.

Cathy said...

After today's BB, I think we can consider this one solved.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I was wondering if Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz's split has anything to do with Ashlee's Blind Vice. And my rescue-bunny, Twitch, was wondering if Pete has

a Blind?
—Tiffany

Dear Carrot Curious:
Yes and yes. Hey, Twitch!"

"Dear Ted:
Do you think Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz split up because Ash was too much of a princess?
—Liz

Dear Hardly Having It:
Princessing around was probably part of it, but I'm sure there was a series of unfortunate events with this duo. A one-month engagement? Like, how often does

that love at first sight, Khlomar crap actually work out? Hate to be the downer, but not everyone is meant to be, and just because they have a baby together

doesn't mean they should be man and wife. And her father did not do Ashlee any favors helping her navigate future relationships—at all."

"Dear Ted:
Just wondering if you would give a hint to Ashlee Simpson's and/or Pete Wentz's Blind Vices since you said hers had to do with their breakup.
—M

Dear Det. Divorce:
Well, let's just say neither party (particularly her) has been engaging in habits that would help solidify a fairly new marriage."

Kelly said...

The website for US Magazine just posted an article re: Ashlee's "late late-night partying" with her pro-skateboarding friends. Wentz supposedly felt that he had to call her constantly and have friends check up on her as well.

Further evidence that this blind fits them. Not that we needed it. LOL!

-KADixonLaw

Tara said...

Hmmm so maybe she wanted to be passed around a little like Jess did with the Jackass boys.....

ttownelizabeth said...

Dear Ted:
Please tell me Vicky Vamp-Void is not Nicole Richie. Love her and would hate to think she's back down that road again.
—Y

Dear 180:
Fabulous guess, but definitely not. Nicole is totally happy with her life; she's one of the few celebs who really did a complete turnaround. That's because she was really ready for it. Vicky was not.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Please tell me Vicky Vamp-Void is not Nicole Richie. Love her and would hate to think she's back down that road again.
—Y

Dear 180:
Fabulous guess, but definitely not. Nicole is totally happy with her life; she's one of the few celebs who really did a complete turnaround. That's because she was really ready for it. Vicky was not."

Tara said...

So I just watched a vid on Comcast Fan that "people" (Joe Simpson) are saying that Pete was addicted to Oxycontin, Ambien, and Xanax. Is she really that much of a bitch to be mudslinging like that when she is a coke addict? Not that it is great if Pete is a user, but talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Also, in the first VVV/HH blind, does it not say that she introduced him to drugs? I expect that if more stories come out about Pete's addictions, Ted will be infuriated and forced to call VVV out in a very transparent way.

I said...

@Tara: Happens more than you realize. People accuse others EXACTLY of the bad actions they are doing themselves. And then, when the accused calls them on it and points the finger back at the accuser, the accuser simply says that they are being defensive and inventing things to take the heat off of them when that is what actually what THEY did. (If you follow my poorly worded logic).

It's infuriating, but actually a classic manipulative tactic that works very well. Shafterella did that to her ex. Joe Simpson is a total manipulator and doing it to Pete. I believe it is written about in some book called "The Art of War". I actually haven't read that book but people who I know have...employ those tactics.

And, I mean, if you think about it...Joe Simpson got his mediocre (Jessica) and untalented (Ashlee) daughters some level of fame employing those tactics. The man is a preacher too, isn't he? Hmmm.

The Lohans use it too. It's a classic.

I said...

Geez, sorry for my horrendous grammar. Too many late nights.

Tara said...

Joe Simpson and Dina Lohan should get together. Dina drives me insane with all her leaking antics: IE LL being seriously considered for Superman--like anyone would touch her right now. I, you are right, Joe is no better with his slimy tactics (can't believe he was a preacher, but that doesnt make him a good person, I guess). They really both were very average talent-wise and now Jess has a billion dollar company. Too bad VVV just has a nasty coke habit and some bad hair right now.

Caz1310 said...

LOL Tara - to top off Ashlee's worries she has "bad hair". Big insult! She looked gorge as a redehead. Sigh. What would Joe & Dina be called...Losimp? SimpsoLo?

Kelly said...

@Caz... LoJoe? SoLow? PimpaLo? This is fun!!

-KADixonLaw

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