Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Blind Vice Valentine: One Horny, Lonely Sleazeball!

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice Valentine: One Horny, Lonely Sleazeball!

What would Valentines Day be without our favorite dirt bag, Super-Duper Cooper?
Remember the last time we heard from him?
Heavier ThingsFor all of you single and slightly depressed folks out there, be damn grateful you're sharing a bed alone tonight, not with Cooper's feces and, ahem, other things mixed in.
But we didn't know just how kinky SDC likes to get? You'll never believe who he invited to crawl in bed with him...
A dude! What, is Super-Duper Cooper's reputation so tarnished with the ladies he's switching teams on us?
Look, we're not entirely surprised here. After all, this is a celeb who likes to have gay porn on in the background when he gives it to the ladies. And he certainly hasn't been shy about making out with a few guys here and there.
But, I digress.
While at a secluded West Hollywood hideout recently, Super slithered up to a very good looking, very obviously gay dude who was at the hotel bar hanging out with a couple pals.
Coops invited himself to join the table, he is a famous and good-looking guy after all, so the others weren't quick to shoo him away.
However, S. fixated on one gentleman in particular. After making some charming small talk, he invited the pretty boy (and him alone), up for a night cap to Super's hotel room.
Said dude politely declined.
SDC touched the good looking gay on his upper bicep and tried his best at convincing him it would be "worth his while."
The few other people sitting there in the group watched all of this go down, completely dumbfounded.
The guy still declined. Sleazy celeb hookups aren't his thing. How very refreshing, see, some proper guys do exist in this town!
Super-Duper Cooper sulked away, but we're sure he didn't do it alone. Coops apparently went out on the town to find a fix for the evening. No word on if it was male or female. Poor thing whoever it was!
But, after Super-D departed the table full of beautiful people, the group had the nerve to joust the guy for not taking one for the team and going upstairs with the hunky celeb.
What are friends for, if not to steer you straight into an STD den, huh?

And It Ain't: Tom Cruise, Channing Tatum, Matthew Morrison

Please see our label below to lead you to our discussion on the many previous SDC BVs.  Our April 2008 SDC post includes a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: John Mayer

15 comments:

Rita said...

Wow, John Mayer shot down. good for the dude!

Wonder if John's whoring around was all along a sign of his pent-up homosexual preferences? Whatever it is, he needs to stay away from the dysfunctional shit! Literally!

Caz1310 said...

Da da da and another one bites the dust. ROTFLMAO. If this is true, good one dude who declined! Safe choice too. Maybe Jen A is next on his bootycall list. Again.

bekynd said...

This is awesome - smart choice! :)

Tara said...

I want to know if the guy who turned him down is a famous gay. This is fun to read, finally someone who doesn't want to get crapped on!

pikespeak said...

John Mayer is kind of cock-hungry, so this is hardly surprising information. He loves going to gay bars, too and macking on the dudes, there.

10ae1f5a-3b41-11e0-93f0-000bcdcb8a73 said...

Anyone have the link to view everyone that has been confirmed as a BV? Or a link to hose that have been confirmed NOT to be a BV? Thanks.

Tara said...

Where all the bv names are listed on the side of this blog, see in alphabetical order under "list of ted's BV reveals". That should be what you are looking for?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Miley Cyrus and John Mayer? While it makes a certain sense, isn't he like 15 years older than her?
—me

Dear Underage Enabler:
Heard this; hoping it's not true. The last thing that girl needs is to be tied to this stinky heartbreaker. Taylor Swift, anybody? At least Tay could get out

of that sitch with a song instead of a full-on scratch on her reputation. Miley won't make it after Mayer, fact. If, indeed, they are shacking up. Plus,

Billy Ray might blame him for the breakup backlash later. That family has enough to deal with.

Dear Ted:
I was watching Valentine's Day the other night and it suddenly hit me. Is Super-Duper Cooper Jamie Foxx? Am I hot or cold?
—Elsa

Dear Ice Cold:
How random is this? While I totally appreciate your attempt, Cooper is somewhat subtler than Mr. Foxx. Pretty sure Jamie would share his sexscapades—with the

entire world. Also, those antics of his are only slightly cleaner. Happy president's weekend!

Dear Ted:
My rescue puppy Neve (who we found on the side of a snowy road two miles away from any civilization) and I would love to know if Marky Sweet-Puss and Super-

Duper Cooper have any sort of special relationship?
–H

Dear Matchmaker:
They are acquaintances, yes, but not like that. Think Super is into guys who aren't famous. In fact, we're sure of it.

Dear Ted:
Hasn't Super-Duper Cooper pretty much admitted to all of his Blind Vices at this point? And if not, do you feel he would deny any of them? Are you protecting

him or his known partners who would be stinky by association?
—Evelyn from NJ

Dear Down 'n' Out:
He has put his foot in his mouth many a times, yes, but he hasn't exactly 'fessed up to making girls poop, pee and do all kinds of other degrading things.

And he won't admit to that stuff, either. By doing so, he would burn all the bridges with his famous exes and drag them down in his smelly tales. He actually

wouldn't do that. Of course, then there's that career to consider..."

hordac said...

Maybe the guy heard about John's "proclivities" in bed and wanted nothing to do with it! It must be an open secret by now, I mean he's slept with enough people at this point...

Caz1310 said...

To use one of Lainey's favourite phrases...wonder what the minivan majority would think if they knew of SDC's preferences and how that tarnishes Jennifer Aniston? Miley surely couldn't have hooked up with him!!?

I said...

vomitous

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Clearly, you read the comments section. Are we close in guessing who Super-Duper Cooper is?
—Amber

Dear Bossy:
Do I make a beautiful, black swan? Not even going to give you a straight answer for that one, sorry about it."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Just wondering if anyone has guessed Toothy Tile's identity? Also, I remember you a saying a while back that some of the closeted members of Hollywood tend

to jump from beard to beard. Might this include one John Mayer? If so, who cares if he is gay!? How would that tarnish his music career?
—M

Dear Your Body Is a Wonderland:
All I'm saying is that nothing could tarnish John's music career more than his own big mouth. Guy loves being in the spotlight and dishing about his sexual

escapades to anyone who will listen. "

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
The title of your Lucretia Johnson Blind got me thinking, Has Lucrectia had "relations" with our favorite nasty crapper Super-Dooper Cooper?
—Vice Detective

Dear Better Than Sherlock:
Depends on the type of "relations" you're inquiring about."

Caz1310 said...

And now of all people Kate Winslet is being linked to him?

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