Friday, February 25, 2011

Blind Vice: Stupid Star Gets Crapped on Yet Again

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Stupid Star Gets Crapped on Yet Again


We are really starting to feel sorry for Lucretia Johnson.
Last time we checked in on the quasi bloated, not preggers blond babe, she was seriously turning to alcohol to cope with her seemingly downward spiral. She's just not what (and where) she used to be, career-wise, ya know?
Adding to Lucretia's woes, her newest beau (with whom things have gotten quite serious since we last checked in) is making matters worse. Much.
See, it appears as if L.J. and her dude are on the marriage track.
Unfortunately for Ms. Johnson, what she doesn't know is that despite tabloid appearances, her man has "no intention" of ever walking down the aisle with her, claims an insider.
In fact, he is so grossed out by her, impeccable sources tell us, that he's still sleeping with his ex!
At a cheap nail salon in L.A., the ex was bitching to her manicurist about her ex's new high-profile romance:
"He has been f--king me practically during their whole relationship."
If that wasn't bad enough, apparently Lucretia's dude (who's blah in every way, hint, hint) was also talking about how "disgusted" he was with Johnson, admitting he was only using her for her money and fame.
Thing is, Ms. Johnson plays into this, totally. She's completely his sugar mama and is cutting out friends who try to tell her that she's just being used.
Apparently, the ex lady admitted they stopped doing the nasty behind Lucretia's back because the dude needed to keep up appearances in the press that he and Johnson are totally in love.
Could this get any grosser?
Wake up and smell the future, Lucretia! It's only going to get stinkier if you keep hanging with guys like this.
And It Ain't: Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez, Britney Spears

Please see the label below for our post on the other LJ BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: either Jessica Simpson or Christina Aguilera


120 comments:

blurry vice said...

Once again, this seems like Jessica Simpson. We didn't think she was Lucretia with the first one, bc Ted has said a million times that she already was a BV. However, we know now how Ted has seemed to make Leo a new NV after being an old one... and he keeps going against his own self proclaimed rules lately. So... going out on a limb and now saying it could be Jess!

Honorable mention: Christina Aguilera

Rita said...

It really does sound like Jessica Simpson. The other pick would be Xtina Aguilera.

But Simpson fits so much with the AIAs: Reality star, young pop singer (when she was popular), and yo-yo diets and is manipulated by men like Britney Spears.

Caz1310 said...

Yes this screams Jessica Simpson. Maybe Ted's listening to the constructive feedback and is being obvious again. It staggers me that Jess & Ashlee are so stupid in the choices they make. Both have had everything on a silver platter and have stuffed it up totally. Their parents obviously aren't good role models and where are their real friends? We can see what's his name is K-Fed #2...why can't Jess?

Cecilia00 said...

"Gets Crapped On yet again" - a reference to Super Duper Cooper? Maybe one of us should ask if Lucretia ever ran with SDC....

Ahem said...

it's safe to say this is Jessica Simpson. The title and story says it all. Crapped on again, is a reference to her dating john mayer. John Mayer is the blind about him having weird tendencies in the bedroom that involve crap.

Cecilia00 said...

Adding on: Of course, that would refer to Jessica if so.

kristin said...

argh! This has been killing me! It sounds like either Jessica or Christina, but they both have been blind vices before, right?

could t be anyone else? maybe someone less on the radar...

Gabby said...

Pretty sure in the Bitch Backs yesterday Ted mentioned that Lucretia's hair was the same color as Alyssa Milano's, meaning brown.

kristin said...

you know what? two recent times Ted has said that Xtina has an old vice, maybe Ted is giving her a new moniker since the other one is so old? didn't his original blinds not have "nicknames" that you could keep track of?

kristin said...

meh... this reads like Jessica Simpson! this has to be her, but Ted has said quite often that Jess has her own vice and she stars alone... I dont get it

Jessica said...

Okay, so if the only thing that doesn't fit (description-wise) for Jessica Simpson is hair color, who else is a bloated booze-bag with a stalled career and a gross boyfriend who is clearly using her? I'm blanking...

Rita said...

Tara Reid?

But really, who cares what happens to her...

Melissa said...

Long time reader, but first time posting. First wanted to say I love this site, and thanks to the sisters for maintaining it. I agree that this really sounds like Jessica Simpson. Does anyone know if Ted said Jessica starred in her own vice? It seems with his current backtracking (i.e. King Schlong), if she was a supporting player, she may be able to get her own starring vice.

Gabby, as for the Alyssa Milano hair comment yesterday, I just checked and that was for Cass Stimulata, not Lucretia Johnson. So hair color does not rule out Jessica.

crila16 said...

Crapped on again...reference to John Mayer crapping on Jessica for real. Disgusting as it is.

Everyone knows this guys is using Jessica Simpson. All the sites are referring to her as his sugar mommy.

Rita said...

To Blurry: CDAN will be posting juicy reveals this coming Monday! Here's the link:
http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2011/02/radio_25.html

Some of his blinds in the pas few weeks have been mighty juicy. Hope you guys will be able to post them on BIE as well!

crila16 said...

Ted says right in the first line "Blonde babe" anyway, so that rules out a dark haired chick.

This is from Ted's last Lucretia BV. "That said, there's a celeb in town by the name of Lucretia Johnson, whose talent is, uh, questionable, at best."

OK...Xtina is amazingly talented. She has one of the best voices in the business. Jessica...her talent is questionable, at best. This is definitely Jessica, NOT Xtina.

Lila said...

Report from other Lucretia thread from earlier today, sorry.

So she is BLONDE and currently UNMARRIED (but maybe headed down the alter soon). More clues that would point to XTina or Jessica, but we know very well from Ted's BBs lately that they are already unrevealed BVs. He answered questions directly about BOTH of them since the first Lucretia blind was posted, saying their vices were old (they're in the comments section of the other Lucretia thread.) So, it's not them. We gotta be more creative.

CLUES
-Blonde, big mane of hair
-singer, some acting
-doing OK financially, jobs right now (from earlier BB)
-questionable talent
-unmarried but with a BF, getting serious
-bad history with men
-has greedy relatives
-possible former cheerleader or played one
-recently "bloated" and evidently disgusting, if her BF won't even sleep with her (he's "grossed out")
-was popular in 1990s and early 2000s
-pregnancy rumors last year
-AIA point to reality TV, possible DWTS, Disney stars and/or singers

tory said...

I just emailed Ted asking if Lucretia had any siblings with their own blind vice. Keep your fingers crossed he answers! If he says yes, it will definitely rule out Christina.

Lila said...

^rePOST, I mean.

Xtina has an amazing voice, I also agree that rules her out.

This screams Jessica, but again, Ted directly said her vice was old.

From Feb 4:

"Dear Ted:
I am a huge fan of your site and recently got a few of my girlfriends addicted as well. We love to gab about the Blind Vices especially. There's one problem though...Jessica Simpson seems to be their top guess for every recent Blind! I've been telling them she can't be because she's already got a B.V. name from years past, but I think they will only believe it if it comes from you. Could you clear this up for the newbies?
—lisasemanick

Dear Jess Guessing:
Listen up, newbies. Jessica is one secretive little starlet, and she loves to get down, but she can't be every friggin' Vice. Only one—and, yes, from a few years ago. And since that no-name BF of hers put a ring on it, I'm thinking she'll become a bore just like him."

Lila said...

LeAnn Rimes? I know next to nothing about her, but she's a singer, blonde, and evidently walking down the aisle soon.

Avril Lavigne? She's usually blonde. And someone else I know nothing about, so don't make fun of me for these bad guesses!

tipsytess13 said...

what about parasite hilton? She's blond, she's bloated (reference new article when she said she's now at a normal weight), she's mentioned she wants to be with her man Ty 'forever', etc etc.

And based on that sex tape, I bet she has some shenanigans in the pooper, I mean bedroom. LOL

tory said...

I have been hung up on Ted's "hint hint" about the fiance being blah. All I've managed to do is get Ke$ha's terrible song stuck in my head. Does anybody else have any guesses about how it could be relevant?

Lena said...

I don't see how this could be anyone other than Jessica Simpson. There are constant rumors about her drinking problems and with her fluctuating weight there was also pregnancy speculation not too long ago. It's also pretty well known that she had a falling out with Ken Paves once she hooked up with Eric Johnson. It's pretty obvious John Mayer is Super Duper Cooper and "getting crapped on" yet again alludes to that.

pomme said...

Jessica simpson ?

Stephanie said...

Is it just me or has guessing and rationalizing BVs become a tad less enjoyable due to Ted's inconsistencies?

Geeze if anything, in my opinion, Blind Vices should at least be credible.

Without credibility, a BV just seems to be a silly made-up story with strangers attaching ignorant nicknames to random famous people!!!

Ha! I can do that with anyone on my own!!!

Without Ted clearing the air on SO MANY issues he has been addressed with lately, I feel like there isn't even a clear basis to form realistic or rational guesses.

I started noticing the back-pedaling and errant blunders back when Nevis made his BV debut. Ted would post something and then back-pedal. Then Ted "notted" RPatz for Nevis in a BB section (I saw this with my own eyes) and then un-"notted" him by just removing it. And so it was forever disputed... I believe that was even documented on this site as "disputed" as others had seen it too!!!

(Personally, I think Nev is RP but that's just the most sketchy thing I can think of at the moment besides for the ones that have already been discussed recently.)

I'd try to elaborate on who LJ is but I have no idea what the hell's going on anymore!!! :)

Have a good weekend everyone!!!

jaime said...

jennifer love hewitt

Jenna said...

I agree that it sounds like Jessica Simpson, but with the recent news that her company is going to pull in over a billion this year alone, and $10 a year in a few more years, I find it hard to believe anyone would say her "career" is lacking in any way. True, her singing career never went anywhere, but I read an interview with her recently where she said she was grateful and happy that she did not have to succeed in the music industry as she has this whole other creative outlet to keep her busy and in the money.

That part of the blind aside, I find it hard to think of a better fit than Jessica for this one!

jjonefiftypb said...

This does for sure sound like Jessica Simpson. Tory that is a great question about siblings I hope he answers it because if he says yes then this really could be Jessica as Ashlee is Vicky Vampoid. Paris Hilton is a good guess although I thought her problems were more with drugs than alcohol.

Kelly said...

I remember reading the last LJ blind and thinking that it read like a Jessica Simpson biography even though it clearly couldn't be her (based on the rules). Now that the rules have been tossed out the window...

This one is even more blatant.

Looking at the clues that Lila so wonderfully laid out for us:

CLUES
-Blonde, big mane of hair CHECK
-singer, some acting CHECK
-doing OK financially, jobs right now (from earlier BB) CHECK
-questionable talent BIG CHECK
-unmarried but with a BF, getting serious CHECK (ENGAGED)
-bad history with men SUPER DUPER CHECK
-has greedy relatives CHECK
-possible former cheerleader or played one ???
-recently "bloated" and evidently disgusting, if her BF won't even sleep with her (he's "grossed out") CHECK
-was popular in 1990s and early 2000s CHECK
-pregnancy rumors last year CHECK
-AIA point to reality TV, possible DWTS, Disney stars and/or singers CHECK

As far as the cheerleader thing goes, I think it's obvious that she has always wanted to be the stereotypical ditsy, blond cheerleader type. She definitely hasn't seemed to mature past high school, either IMO. So, not knowing what else to do considering the current state of Ted's blinds, I'm hitching a ride on the Jessica train for this one.

Choo, choo.

-KADixonLaw

Cecilia00 said...

On the Xtina guesses: Ted has gone after her lately in the Bitch-Back's. Doesn't seem to care for her and her diva 'tude. So I doubt he'd describe her as being "crapped on again" in terms of her past marriage.

Stephanie said...

If we're all agreeing Ted's "rules" are nonsense now, I will stand behind my first guess dating back to the last post on LJ; Jessica Simpson.

Jadedkitten said...

I'm going with xtina not everybody thinks xtina is talent I've read enough articles about her over singing and screeching vocals to know that.

duffgrl said...

OK...I agree with everyone that JS is agood candidate but Lila...I really like your guesses! LeAnn Rimes and Avril Lavigne could both fit.

April said...

And her fiance's name is Eric JOHNSON! Is that a hint or her nickname was around before he existed?!

Kelly said...

Leann Rimes isn't remotely bloated right now, though. Just saw a picture of her today and she is scary-skinny.

-KADixonLaw

Caz1310 said...

Avril Lavigne ceased to be important quite some time ago although I am suprised her & Brody are still together. Wonder if he made a play for Kim K LOL? Don't think she's quite on the radar to be Ted C BV worthy.

neda said...

one problem with the Jessica thing; Ted write very clearly that despite TABLOID appearances, he has no intention of walking down the aisle with her. Wouldn't you think that a real engagement + ring would not refer to a "Tabloid appearance"? I just don't see how Ted could word it that way and refer to someone who is really engaged... He would say that despite ALL appearances, or something else. Also, even if he's been unreliable lately about his blinds... it's about freakin Jo Frost, not someone as famous and well-known as Lucretia seems to be. We shouldn't toss out ALL the rules just because of him being absentminded. I really don't think he would disregard his own rules so blatantly.
So...any other possible suspects?

Jill said...

First time poster, long time reader. Really stretching for this one but...How about Heidi Montag?

Lila said...

@Jill Heidi is married - doesn't fit the clues. This person is unmarried, possibly recently engaged.

Lila said...

Before Leanne got super skinny - were there pregnancy rumors late last year?

Was Leanne ever named as a vice before??

When I think bloat, I don't think "fat" I think "puffy-faced." You can be skinny and still have face bloat. You know, how like Lainey has been going on about Jennifer Aniston's bloat the past week?

Just checked out the comments over at AT and here is one useful one:
----
"It can't be Jessica Simpson. Ted says Lucretia got engaged between now and the last time he wrote about her (which was the very first post about Lucretia). That was November 26th- check the link in today's blog. Jessica's engagement was announced on November 14th, making her ineligible to be Lucretia."
---

I said...
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I said...

Has Paris Hilton been exposed as Slurpa Pop-off?

If so, it could be her!

Timsgirl said...

Hi, first time commenter, long time reader. Just wondering- did anyone notice the article Ted wrote yesterday about Nicole Kidman (ugly is the nicest word for it) that seemed to have been removed from the site almost immediately after it had been posted? Any theories??

Lucy said...

Hello, first post. I think this is Paris as she was rumoured to be pregnant in Dec last year('baby bump' talk in tabloids) and recently been photographed looking at engagement rings while commenting that she's sure she'll get engaged soon - hence the reference to appearances for the tabloids. . Also she has put on weight and 'beefed up' by Hollywood standards recently (lol not normal standards!). So has she been confirmed as a bv before (I think the rules do generally hold, just Ted gets carried away and loses control every now and then).

Jill said...

Hmmm. I thought Heidi was divorced. What vice is Jessica thought to already be?

The Spie said...

Jill: Pick one. Jessica Simpson is a leading candidate for at least four or five different BVs. Impenna Never-Trated is the most obvious fit.

Stacey said...

It's so blatantly Jessica Simpson, you guys. Got crapped on yet again? Come on. No question. He's barely trying to hide it.

I said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lila said...

Yeah, could be Paris. Great guess, actually. Paris HILTON / Howard JOHNSON. Talk about questionable talent. But does she sing? Is she a singer? That's the only thing that's questionable.

Lila said...

Oh, and as for the getting crapped on. Does anyone believe that Paris hasn't slept with John Mayer at some point?

I said...
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I said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I said...

@Lila: Yeah Paris has "sung" a song called...wait for it..."Stars are Blind". LOL.

And, Paris can be thought of as "disgusting"..what with her genital Herpes etc. I can see a lot of men not wanting to sleep with her anymore. I actually think she is more desperate than JS these days.

Also, this clearly says "despite tabloid appearances" her man has no intention of walking down the isle. Eric proposed and gave JS a ring. That doesn't seem like appearances...that's pretty solid. And it would be a really cruel thing to do if you had no intention of walking down the isle.

Yeah, on 2nd thought, I don't think this screams Jess Simpson at all. And doesn't Ted give sibs the same last name?

Paris would be a good fit if she has already been exposed as Slurpa-Pop-Off and I do believe Ted has semi-exposed her.

Gena said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SpaCat said...

@I: I don't think Ted would give JS and Ashlee the same last name, otherwise it would be very obvious for the readers which BVs they were.

I said...

@SpaCat: He did with Slurpa and her sib and I think I read he did that sort of thing, but can't be sure he does it ALL the time.

That being said, I now don't think it's Paris Hilton as Ted referred to her as a "stacked sweetie" and Paris is certainly NOT that.

If it's JS, it breaks Ted's rules (if she was declared by Ted to have a BV before...and I'm not sure of that). Also, again, I cannot believe anyone would think JS is too gross to sleep with.

What about Pam Anderson?
- stacked (and had a TV show called "Stacked")

- has HepC and is a bit sloppy (could be disgusting to sleep with for some)

- "Johnson": Pam's been known to have bin privy to a lot of Johnsons (pardon the pun).

- Pam's career is fast approaching a zero b/c her "questionable talent" was all in how she looked. And she has had a "fair amount of on-camera success in the past" via PlayBoy stints and TV shows.

(JS has a huge biz empire...that's a career and has got to count for something. Can't see Ted dissing on that. Jess' career is not a zero as long as she keeps raking in the big bucks for her merch.)

Lila said...

JUST got around to reading Ted's post on the same day as the new Lucretia blind about Leann and Eddie:

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b227671_montana_locals_leann_eddie_leann_who.html

See the last few paragraphs:

"Like whether or not Eddie really double cheated with his ex-wife Brandi Glanville? Or if LeAnn really is going single white female on Brandi?"

Which links to this story last year about Eddie hooking up with his ex. Maybe its still going on.

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b193737_it_true_did_eddie_cibrian_cheat_on.html

If this is Leann, it's right under our noses. And yet everyone is guessing Jessica Simpson in the AT comments.

Kelly said...

I understand (from personal experience) that bloat is possible even when you're starving yourself, as she seems to be doing now. Bloat aside, though, I really don't think you can call Leann's talent "questionable." On the contrary, she has a fabulous voice. Had the clue been questionable morals, I would definitely be on board with that guess, though.

I hate that the everything is so up in the air right regarding Ted's rules. It definitely takes a little but of the fun away from playing detective. And I *really* hate that JS is the best guess I can think of in spite of those rules.

@I... I agree that Paris doesn't really fit these clues. With regards to JS being disgusting, it may have less to do with her looks and more to do with habits that she readily admits to (e.g. not brushing her teeth on a daily basis, farting, etc.) Pam Anderson is an interesting thought. Who is she serious with, though?

-KADixonLaw

I said...

@Kelly: That's the sticking point. Don't know the deets of Pammie's love life right now but she's never single for too long, is she?

However, I must not take credit for this guess as I saw it discussed by others and just jumped on it specifically b/c Pammie had a show called "Stacked" and the vice refers to a "stacked sweetie".

I'd love to think of someone besides the all-too-obvious JS, but aside from Pammie I am completely STUMPED!!

Kelly said...

@I... I'm with you regarding finding someone less obvious like Pam. After re-reading this one, though, I'm thinking that this is a couple discussed more often in the tabs. Accordingly, I think Pam is out since we have no idea who she may be seeing. Too bad...

P.S. Sorry for the typos in my last post. Auto-correct is rarely correct on the iPad, so I decided to turn it off for this post. So annoying!

-KADixonLaw

Clancy said...

Look, I could be way off the mark here, but is it possible this could be Aubrey O'Dea? I don't really know much about her except she was in a girl band, but a lot of the clues fit: she's busty, blonde and skanky, had put on weight and was rumoured to be pregnant with Diddy's baby, her current beau is Donnie Wahlberg who could be using her to boost his flagging fame ... just not sure of cheating rumours, but hey, it's Diddy. Is she famous enough to feature though, even if Ted himself admits to using the term 'celebrity' loosely at times? Hmm.

Clancy said...

It's Diddy AND Donnie W I should say - who could resist that hunka hunka burnin' love? Not!

Jill said...

I like the Aubrey guess. I also liked the Pam guess but I think she is probably close to being past the child bearing age.

PrincessTiff said...

I'm just throwing this out there, but what about Paris Hilton? There were rumors in December that she was looking preggers and she has been a little more full-faced lately. She is blond, worked on reality shows and her talent is certainly questionable. I know that she is suspected to be Slurpa, but it says Ted semi-revealed him. Maybe he considers his semi-reveal a real reveal and now has given her a new name?

PrincessTiff said...

Sorry guys, I had a brain fart and thought the newer posts were at the top, and as I kept reading (and after I posted) I realized teh Paris has already been tossed around. Oops!

vacca_23 said...

definitely JS. They even mention something about stinky and didn't she wear a t shirt in one of her music videos that said stinky bum? and her fiance's last name IS johnson... can this be any more obvious? additionally wasn't there some incident a while ago where she got super drunk off tequila at a bar when her dad and boyfriend were there?

Kelly said...

@vacca_23... Resounding yes on the JS drunken mess stories. I've read several in the past re: drunken incidents; one story had her barfing under the table at her favorite mexican restaurant. There were also recent pictures of her exiting a restaurant with major assistance from her fiance. Tequila is some nasty stuff! ; )

Aubrey is a really interesting guess, though. She *might* be famous enough if Ted were looking for something totally titillating and JS-ish to really throw us off. Hmm...

-KADixonLaw

Jodi said...

TOTALLY XTINA!

movie masochist said...

I see this as being obviously Xtina. Especially now that she and the new beau got arrested. (I know this came out before that.) I read through, but I couldn't figure out why everyone thinks it's Jessica over Xtina.

www.thebestbadmovies.com

hordac said...

Ok LOL about Jess barfing under the table - my God, can't you just picture it! ha ha...

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b228647_anatomy_of_meltdown_christina_aguilera.html

AND

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b228774_christina_aguilera_boozing_worries.html

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
As one of your loyal fans and Blind Vice junkies, I was not surprised to see the news about Christina Aguilera's arrest. I was taken aback however, at the

media feeling it was necessary to release her height and weight. I would understand if this was done in conjunction with her blood alcohol level, but it was

not, which to me makes it come off as just mean spirited. It's like inviting the world to (pun intended) weigh in on her size at this embarrassing time

whether people feel that she is too small or too big. Was this info really necessary? Am I the only one who finds it totally out of place?
—Sammi

Dear Details, Details:
Hello? It was TMZ. Any kind of info is good info to them, and it probably will just fuel a story they plan to do about how X-tina isn't as fat as she looks.

So wrong on so many levels. The doll needs help, and we are here to support her through it, regardless of the chick's height and weight. Please."

Stacey said...
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Stacey said...

Ok wow I'll backtrack. Everyone really doesn't think it's Jess? I thought it was screaming her name. But in looking at it you could make a really good case for Christina or Paris.

The only thing about Christina - didn't Ted say she was being so obvious about her problems there was no need for a blind? I thought he notted her as one. I need to find that though. Also I didn't think there were marriage rumors the way there are with Jess and her guy.

As for Paris, her dude makes pretty good money on his own running clubs in Vegas. Whereas Jessica's gotten alot of flack for being her guy's sugar momma.

Those things are minor though. I still like Jessica Simpson best but Paris/Christina are good guesses too.

chris said...

What about Holly Madison? She's blond, she did reality TV, she's "stacked", she's dating a guy from a band I've never heard of (All Time Low), she was dumped by Hugh Hefner (which she is bitter about since he's now marrying somebody else), she dated Chris Angel and was dumped. I don't know about her drinking tendencies, but she has been criticized for her weight recently, so much so that she had un-retouched pictures done of herself claiming that she is proud of the weight and curves she has. I don't know if there were pregnancy rumors lately, but I know that when she was with Hugh there had been some rumors then. She's had a series of Vegas shows since her departure from her Playboy mansion days. She currently has another Vegas show she's doing, so maybe this is her since Ted said this person isn't really a celebrity (as in Tom Hanks status). What does everyone think?

Stephanie said...

Today's BB seems to be a direct clue to Jessica Simpson . . . given the obvious placement of the questions. Now . . . to decide whether or not it was to just throw us off!!!

PrincessTiff said...

I just read an article that Paris' mom wants her and Cy to get married. I know that's not a marriage rumor, but it is kinda in that direction.

That being said, the Holly guess is interesting.

PrincessTiff said...

Well there went Paris. Ted just notted her.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Jess-a-mess:
Jessica has always been somewhat of a trainwreck, which is exactly why Eric is perfect for her. Tony has an NFL career to worry about, while Eric? Well, all he as to worry about is Jess. A match made in Joe Simpson heaven if you ask us.

Dear Ted:
Is Paris Hilton Lucretia Johnson? Her boyfriend seems sketchy and she has been looking bigger than she ever has.
—K

Dear Excellent Guess:
Close, but off by a shade of blonde."

kristin said...

So she is a dirty blonde? that eliminates x-tina and Jessica! they are both bleach blonde, same with Holly Madison.

What about Ke$ha? i know i know totally random, but I got nothing!

Kelly said...

I read the "off by a shade of blonde" hint to be a clever way of saying, "off by a hair" (e.g. close, but no cigar), while confirming that the blind is a blonde.

If that is what he meant, it doesn't eliminate any of the other names we've been kicking around.

-KADixonLaw

Caz1310 said...

Kesha wouldn't be interesting enough for Ted to give a BV to. Still think this is Jess. Love Ted's response to "Jess a Mess" he sums up the difference between Tony & Eric perfectly. Would hooking up with Jess be good or bad for a fella's career...? Lainey says Jess is in the running to be a judge on X Factor. Bless Lainey her caustic thoughts on her are priceless.

Clancy said...

Kelly, I thought that too; it could be read either way so yeah, I don't think you could reliably take that comment as solely meaning LJ is a tad darker blonde.

Kelly said...

@Clancy... Thanks! I was wondering if the cold medicine I've been taking this week was making me a little foggy. LOL! I love how Ted can eliminate one person without providing any clarity on the real potential suspects. ; )

vacca_23 said...

aaaand jessica is drunk again...

http://www.thesuperficial.com/jessica-simpson-is-drunk-again-03-2011

I said...

@vacca: Oh geez she looks totally wasted in that pic. And, I'm sorry, but she also looks totally stupid. More so than usual. Just gross.

Clancy said...

Kelly, I've had the flu this week too! Could be both of us off our rockers on drugs lol.

Re the pics, I have to say I don't get Jess looking drunk or wasted here - just her usual dufus self. Lucretia Johnson really sounds so much like her - how can they all seem to sound like her?! So frustrating.

Kelly said...

I'm glad I'm not alone, Clancy!! I also love that everyone here seems to share the same or similar feelings towards Jess! I, for one, have never understood her appeal. Thankfully, my hubby doesn't gt it, either. He gives me hope. ; )

I think her idiotic behavior just makes her seem like the perfect candidate for the blinds re: less than intelligent behavior. Surely there are other women like that in H-Wood, though. Maybe they just hide it instead of flaunting it?

-KADixonLaw

Shavon said...

it's Christina Aguilera. b|c the one of the post before they said she was a "cheerleader at Happiest Place on Earth High". Christina Aguilera was a cheerleader and "Happiest Place on Earth" means Disney World/Land and Christina used to sing with Disney.

teri said...

Mischa barton? i love the idea of it being jessica simpson though...but i'm an awful person. :)

Kimstyle said...

It's Christina... In the first blind the source tells Ted "she was fall down drunk every night..."

In the new issue of usweekly there is a story about christina's drinking and how "she's been nearly fall down drunk every night"

Sounds like they have the same sources

And let's just break it down:
She's blond
Stacked (breast implants)
Bloated
Happiest place on earth (Disney kid)

I really wish people would stop saying it's Jessica
1) Ted would never be so obvious as to name jessica's Bv last name as Johnson

2) SHE ALREADY HAS A BLIND VICE FROM YEARS AGO!!! Ted said it himself "she can't be every Bv"...

It is Christina... Case closed

I said...

Ted has hinted about Lucretia that she's not really a celeb (i.e. he uses the term loosely when he refers to her) and that her talent is "questionable". That doesn't sound like Christina Aguilera at all to me.

Rita said...

With Ted's last answer, this seems to be Jessica Simpson, all that drunker falling down, blond hair, nowadays you can very loosely state that she is a star, more like a retail mogul. And the crapping. It always goes back to the «getting crapped on again»...

Kelly said...

Yeah, this is SO Christina Aguilera! She must be a talentless slob because she's the mess-of-the-moment. And, hey, the timing fits, right? Let's completely forget that she's widely considered to have one of the best voices in the business. "Questionable" judgment? Definitely. "Questionable" talent? I'm not a fan, but, um...really? With all due respect, I don't see it.

-KADixonLaw

Kimstyle said...

I know the first blind says her talent in questionable... That's why I didn't at first believe that it would be Christina....

However, The first blind came out when burlesque had just bombed and her acting reviews were the worst of them!!! Her last album bombed as well...

The second came out after she had gotten more publicity for herself, ie:the superbowl etc.... And you'll notice that Ted doesn't question here talent in this one, just say "her career isn't what it used to be" ... Which is true

I'm 90% sold on Christina and stand by my above coomment
I believe that Ted wants us to think it's Jessica by throwing in all the crap references and stuff, but like I've said a million times, she already has a Vice, and she was not a Disney kid... Two HUGE marks against her...

Kimstyle said...

Plus, christina's new guy broke up with his long-term girlfriend for her... Sounds like the kind if Ex that would continue sleeping with him, then bitch about it at a nail salon, no?

Liz said...

It has to be Jessica Simpson - today Ted strongly hinted that Lucretia Johnson and Super Duper Cooper (John Mayer) had past relations.

Rita said...

Never thought Christina was of questinable talent. Her acting maybe, her singing never.

With today's answer to blinds, Ted mentioned Lucretia and Duper Cooper had past relations. This is definitely Jessica Simpson getting crapped on. Yet again.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
The title of your Lucretia Johnson Blind got me thinking, Has Lucrectia had "relations" with our favorite nasty crapper Super-Dooper Cooper?
—Vice Detective

Dear Better Than Sherlock:
Depends on the type of "relations" you're inquiring about."

LeftWingLock said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Caz1310 said...

If Ted was serious he'd reveal this. Or Vicky Vamp Void. If his sources are impeccable he'd have nothing legal to worry about. Which BV do you wish he'd reveal?

Kelly said...

@Caz... Right now, I'd have to say King Schlong. For some reason, that one has been particularly frustrating.

While there hasn't been a reveal on VVV, I think we're on the money with that guess. As far as LJ is concerned, even if it isn't Jessica Simpson, I think her situation is likely to mirror that of LJ's. I just can't find it in myself to feel sorry for her, though. I don't think she has the slightest clue what a healthy relationship is and, even worse, I highly doubt that she has the presence of mind to care. JMO, of course!

-KADixonLaw

Rita said...

Caz - I'd rather he confirms VVV. Would clarify all of the others where Christina Aguilera and Jessica Simpson are suspects.

Michelle said...

haha Ted answered my question on this blind - guess I should have been more specific about what I meant with relations but I figured if I was too specific he wouldn't answer it. I still think he is strongly hinting at Jessica Simpson for this one

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
I just saw the new pics of Christina Aguilera doing the red carpet for her new show The Voice. And girlfriend is looking good and put together considering all the bad things she has gone through the last couple of months. But looks can be deceiving. Is Christina ready to make a comeback after her arrest? I know it took Britney Spears a couple of years to get where she is, but to me, Christina seems like she has the brain to get her life together sooner. What do you think, should Christina disappear from the spotlight until she's 100 percent ready, or will this new show keep her on the right path to make a comeback?
—B

Dear Rehab in a Bottle:
The best time for any celeb to make a comeback is when you are already in the spotlight. But if you're going to cave under the pressure, stay away from the paps until you're fully healed. It's a tough call whether Christina got a little too crazy while blowing off postdivorce steam, or if the gal needs full-on rehab. Friends in her inner circle are more worried than ever, but for the sake of her adorable child, Max, let's hope she gets it together soon. Gals got killer vocals, and if she learns from her mistakes, then no doubt she will rock The Voice, just like the old Christina. "

Kelly said...

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see how, in reference to Christina, Ted could use the "questionable talent" line in the first blind and then refer to her as having "killer vocals" here. I've always had a hard time believing that this was her, and this only makes it harder to believe.

There are plenty of other celebs with very questionable talent. Jessica Simpson, included.

-KADixonLaw

Leila said...

I was on the Christina bandwagon but I have a new theory... what about Kelly Osbourne? I don't see that Ted has notted her for Lucretia, nor did I read that she has a previous BV. I just read an article in Star Magazine that described her as sloppy drunk

http://www.starmagazine.com/news/18003

A lot of the clues seem to fit with her- particularly the struggles with her weight and "on camera successes" (ie. Osbournes and DWTS). I did a quick google search and it says she is currently dating Rob Damiani, a musician from the UK. She recently broke up with her fiance who if I remember correctly was rumoured to be gay (a nod to the Toothy comment in the first BV). There is also mention of relatives in the first one. The only thing I'm not sure fits is the John Mayer connection...

Leila

Leila said...

And some more clues pointing to Kelly Osbourne: just noticed that Bristol Palin is an AIA- could be connection to Dancing with the Stars? Kim Kardashian could be connected to her start on reality tv?

Leila said...

Hey I am not sure what happened but I don't think my previous post went through. Before the last post, I wrote:

I was on the Christina bandwagon but I have a new theory... what about Kelly Osbourne? I don't see that Ted has notted her for Lucretia, nor did I read that she has a previous BV. I just read an article in Star Magazine that described her as sloppy drunk

http://www.starmagazine.com/news/18003

A lot of the clues seem to fit with her- particularly the struggles with her weight and "on camera successes" (ie. Osbournes and DWTS). I did a quick google search and it says she is currently dating Rob Damiani, a musician from the UK. She recently broke up with her fiance who if I remember correctly was rumoured to be gay (a nod to the Toothy comment in the first BV). There is also mention of relatives in the first one. The only thing I'm not sure fits is the John Mayer connection...

Leila ;)

Leila said...

Sorry, I don't know what happened to my previous post... I feel like Lucretia could be Kelly Osbourne. A recent star magazine article described her as sloppy drunk, etc.

There were more clues that seem to fit for her; I will try to post them tomorrow!

kristin said...

I like the Kelly Osbourne guess,m however she did just split with her fiance and according to Whoesdatedwho "Kelly Osbourne started dating musician Rob Damiani in early 2011, after she split from her fiance Luke Worrall. She's said she intends to keep their relationship private as they get to know one another better."
dont know if she thinks they are marriage bound like the blind say LJ is...? If that makes sense, I have had a few cocktails so please forgive if I ramble! lol

Nina said...

Hello! I'm new to the blog, but have been reading Ted's BVs since last year.
I'm pretty sure that this one is Jessica Simpson (even the BV rhymes). It is DEFINETELY not Christina Aguilera, since her judgement might be questionable, but her talent is absolutely NOT. Someone already mentioned this, but I think the blog can rule out Xtina for this one (even if the gold-digging man and too much boozing might also be true).

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Thought about who should be next in Team Truth's life makeover suggestions. For some reason I am stuck on a B.V. player...namely Lucretia Johnson. I feel so bad for this gal and can't help but feel that she may need a big blolumn slap in the face to turn things around for the better both personally and professionally. Whaddya say?
—Holls

Dear Lucretia the Loser:
That might be more work than even I'm willing to do, babe. Harsh, but as much as I love (and pity, duh) Miss Johnson, she's not going to change her down-right-dumb ways anytime soon. Not until some Prince Charming type sweeps her off her boozy feet. How lame is that?"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
It seems like everyone I know is having babies this fall. Clearly I know what all my friends did last winter. Anyway, it got me wondering about all the Vices

about wanna-be-baby-mamas. Did any of your Vices end up having the kids they wanted? I'm thinking of Mimi Kitten, Cass Stimulatia, Lucretia Johnson, and

probably many more I've forgotten. If not, are they even still trying?
—Doc

Dear Mommy Dearest:
I've heard grumblings that one of these gals had some luck getting a bun in her oven, but I'll keep my lips sealed on who and let her belly do the talking."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What has Lucretia Johnson been up to lately? Is she still with her loser man?
—K


Dear All About Inner Peace:
Yeah, but whatever, she's happy these days. And after all the pitying I've had to do for this par-tick chick, if she's got something good going on in her

life, then who cares if her BF will do anything possible to never get serious? Well, like marriage serious."

-- HINT FOR JESSICA SIMPSON ?!

blurry vice said...

Xtina also still with her man

http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix
/emergency_light_03LNmzltQdcsqeveg8pb1K

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You've indicated that Judas Jack-Off has "dated" a couple Vicers in the past. Might one such lady be Lucretia Johnson?
—Mike

Dear History Lesson:
Interesting guess, MIkey, but Jude and Ms. Johnson have not canoodled in the past. Lucretia isn’t exactly the bearding type (though I suspect she would have

been much happier with a BF who was loyal, albeit fake)."

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