Blind Vice: Married Hit Man's Horrible Path

From Fri May 8:

Blind Vice: Married Hit Man's Horrible Path

Enough with the retardalicious closeted gay movies stars. They're so two movie-weekend openings ago! Now, it's back to the straights being as predictably sleazy as only het (men, mainly) can be! 'Cause, let's just be honest here, the real creepsters are you opposite-sex folk out there.
And not the single ones, either: The ultimately dangerous dudes to watch are those who have wedding rings on their left hands. You'd think that piece of jewelry would remind Sock-It-to-You Sleazewad to not go and grope female private parts that don't belong to his wife.
Yep, the incredibly sexy Sock-It isn't just an incredible actor on screen, but off, as well. He makes you believe that all things are perf in that marriage of his—particularly when chatting to an equally talented and beautiful honey (how sorta Sean Penn of him).
But as usual in Hollywood, life is not as it's portrayed:
Sock-It isn't only sticking it to his wife (painfully so), but other babes in town, as well. And he likes 'em young, too. Legal of course, but youthful, vibrant and frisky. Maybe that's because that way, these conquests of Sock-It's are too naïve to know that a married alcoholic with a coke fetish and a penchant for slapping up his women isn't exactly a winner.
As for Sleaze's wife? Oh she knows what's going on. But this babe has such history with her man she's not going anywhere. Besides, she's caught in that hideous trap. The one Rihanna had hopes of climbing out of. Maybe she still does?
All women run when you see Sock-It lurching your way...to the police if you have to!
And it Ain't: Sean Penn, David Duchovny, Ben Affleck

Update 2/17/12 - Ted has eliminated David Boreanaz, Jensen Ackles, Chris Brown, Robert Pattinson.

* Top suspect: Josh Brolin.
* Ted hints July 13 that Josh Brolin is cheating on Diane Lane.

One Redux Doo-Doo Blind Vice 12/13/07

Ted Casablanca's latest Blind Vice...

One Redux Doo-Doo Blind Vice

Celebs talkin’ trash on each other is nothing new in Tinseltown (just ask Paris and Lindsay), but when a big ol’ movie star disses his costar on set (behind her back, natch), that’s something else. But let’s back up. Seymour Slim-Bum first worked with Darlene Deviant a few years ago on a dramatic thriller. Both babes had somethin' goin' on and got props for their badass acting chops. The flick did very well at the box office and received accolades from critics and fans alike. So, it only made sense that, years later, these two good-looking honeys were both tapped to play in a flick again. Now, this particular project was a little more romantic and a little less randy than their last turn together, but it smelled of box-office gold. It’s an adaptation of a rather popular property, and with Seymour and Dar attached, studio types figured they couldn’t go wrong. But then, some equally bright-minded execs also greenlighted the densely literary Love in the Time of Cholera, so what the ef do these suits know? And then add not-necessarily translatable dynamics with a lotta nervous Nellie neurosis. See, recently when the flick was under way, Darlene-love started being very peculiar. She’d disappear into her trailer for hours at a time, with no explanation. No one was exactly sure what D2 was up to. Arguing with her hot-tempered partner, perhaps? D.D. and her man have had quite the tempestuous relationship, to say the least. Regardless of the reason, it was only a matter of time before SSB got fed up with his costar’s very regular disappearing act. “That woman has problems,” he was overheard saying (many times) on set. And perhaps SSB’s newfound dislike for Darlene came across in the dailies or something, because now sources close to the hugely hyped project are saying it’s been shelved indefinitely. As for how this will affect both stars’ paychecks and reputations, guess we’ll have to wait and see.

And it ain't: Meg Ryan/Russell Crowe, Julia Roberts/Tom Hanks, Nicole
Kidman/Tom Cruise.

At first thought I am thinking Kate Hudson/Matthew McConaughey/Reese Witherspoon/Jake Gyllenhaal/Sandra Bullock/Keanu Reeves types of scting duos. Just a matter of trying to figure out who is filming with who lately.

I peeked on some other sites and peeps are saying it is Diane Lane and Richard Gere. Remember Unfaithful? Apparently they are filming another movie together... Nights in Rodanthe. Rumor is that the release date has been delayed. Also Josh Brolin and Diane have had some rocky points in the past. Boring!

Suspected:

Seymour Slim-Butt = Richard Gere

Darlene Deviant = Diane Lane