New Lainey riddle today May 3 -
Nanny Diaries
No one wants to work with Hollywood’s most difficult mother. She now
has a reputation among child care agencies for being the most unpopular
celebrity nanny employer and many now only send to her the nannies on
their staff who specialise in dealing with mega bitch moms.
She is surprisingly less organised than you would think, often
requesting services with no lead time and expecting to be offered
priority treatment. When the nanny arrives, she often won’t speak to the
person directly, communicating via her assistant, and often implying
that the person isn’t attractive enough, and because of this, may or may
not sell her out. Because only ugly people compromise confidentiality, I
guess?
She confiscates cell phones. She also demands to go through the nanny’s
private messages. After a dinner party once, when she and her friends were particularly mouthy, backstabbing several prominent actors and
actresses, she demanded to search the nanny who had stayed late --
without prior notice -- so as to make sure she wasn’t bugged and
threatened legal action for no reason. Speaking of working hours, she
has been known to require extra time but isn’t willing to pay for it,
rationalising her request by blaming the person for an imaginary
offensive -- like missing diapers or a bent branch/stem in the garden.
Ie. “I notice that the whatever bush over there looks a little trampled.
You weren’t careful enough. You are staying an extra two hours.”
She is known to be verbally abusive and impatient. She once watched a
nanny pick up spilled baby food all over the floor while tapping her
hand on the counter and criticising the person’s physique and intellect
as the reason for why it was taking so long. Many nannies in LA, hearing
horror stories from their peers, have turned potential work placements
with her because they don’t want to bother with the drama.
Not Jennifer Garner.
Update: Apparently Lainey revealed this was
Reese Witherspoon at the Smut Soiree
She hates the paps, and she’s been burned by the paps. So now she’s dealing with the paps and is working exclusively with one agency, agreeing to give them photos on a regular basis. The agreement started several months ago when she approached one agency in exchange for information on a paparazzo working for another agency. She wanted names, plates, any details available, presumably in hopes of either legal retribution, if possible, and illegal retribution, if necessary. Very gangster.
