New from Ted yesterday -
Blind Vice: Which TV Costars Secretly Hate Each Other?
Fake à la Ferocity has nothing on wholesome TV and movie actress Trixie Twinkle-Twat, whose new series, Family Values, was renewed recently.
And, trust us, that's saying a whole helluva backstabbing lot.
Trixie's current crime?
Telling her bosses—and, consequently, the world—that she not only adores her famous costar, Vander Van Der Butt, but she wouldn't considering doing anything other than their show, professionally speaking.
When the truth is Trixie, who's got a reputation for sending homemade cookies to people she loathes, will not even look Vander in the eye when they're alone, much less speak to him. She detests him, curses him ever opportunity she can—and the feeling is mutual.
Trix just faked liking him because she knew it would get her a big family boob-tube job.
And it gets even more ironic! Not only did execs approve Trixie and Vander's current cozy show based on the fact they were (supposedly) real-life friends, but also because Ms. Twinkle-Twit's made an entire career out of folks thinking she'd prefer to bake cookies instead of bitch people out like the truck driver she is at heart.
AND IT AIN'T: Nancy Travis and Tim Allen, Julie Bowen and Ty Burrell, Patricia Heaton and Neil Flynn
Top suspects: Melissa Joan Hart & Joey Lawrence, or Christina Applegate & Will Arnett
Nothing to laugh about here -- this one we will all be sad about. All of us. Because it’s almost over for them. After rising together and stabilising together and conveniently finding a home together, where you’d think work would be so much easier, and having the babies too, they’re close to formally ending it, and there may be an announcement soon...which, well, if you look at him it doesn’t seem to have affected him physically. Everyone says he really cares about his appearance these days, more than ever, and is looking hotter than ever. Or, as one person put it, “hot all of a sudden”. Emotionally too he hasn’t let on that there’s anything wrong. For what it’s worth, I’m told there was no third party involvement. Perhaps that means it’s amicable, just the end of their story. Perhaps we’ll be more choked about it than they are. As I drench my waffles in more maple syrup.
