Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Chris Martin's Skinny Fashion It Girl?

While discussing Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's "conscious uncoupling" today, Lainey gives us a hidden blind riddle...

Gwyneth isn’t JLO. Gwyneth aims high. Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, and the leader singer of Coldplay? That’s all status right there. The side pieces she keeps hidden. Lawyers and showrunners are not out in the open. When it’s out in the open it has to be A Name. Why did I keep thinking Jake Gyllenhaal last night? Jake Gyllenhaal could certainly ease the sting from a fashion It Girl who’s skinnier than she is. She just… never expected he would fall in love. And that he wouldn’t be able to fall out of love even after he ended it.

Update: Lainey revealed on 3/28 that this is Alexa Chung.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Lainey: Not pregnant but painkillers?

New Lainey riddle today -

Not pregnant but painkillers?

He recently had to pause on work obligations citing health reasons. But this superstar didn’t seem all that sick. That’s because the health reasons were related to his wife. She’s been keeping a surprisingly low profile the last few months. Which is unusual because, well, the wife is rather pap-friendly. The immediate speculation was pregnancy and bump-hiding. But there was no bump when she showed up at a major event so it definitely wasn’t pregnancy.
Apparently there’s a painkiller addiction going on. And that’s the reason he couldn’t make it that time. She had an episode and it was serious enough that he had to bail on work and help her out. Not a side of him we see very often – you know, putting her before him. Something she must have enjoyed, though probably for the wrong reasons. Still, she seems to be getting off on his attention. And that’s worrying for those around her too. She’s addicted to the pills and also addicted to his care.

Top suspects: Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel

Monday, March 10, 2014

Lainey- His ups and downs

From Lainey March 10 -

His Ups and Downs

It’s hard to stay up. Every time he’s gone up, he’s always come back down. It was thought that that was only because he was young. And now, with children and a devoted wife, he was supposed to be able to hold it together. So far, sure, but just barely.

There were signs before Christmas but during the holidays, he injured his back on a ski trip. This was not widely disclosed and kept out of the press. Painkillers were prescribed. The big movie was pushed back. Cocktails were consumed in combination at events. No one remembers he actually went to rehab several years ago. Still, so far, he’s functioning. And things are great with his wife. She really tries to take care of him but she’s not always with him. When he’s out on his own, it gets messy. There have been times lately where he’s been so drunk, he’s the dude passed out on the couch when everyone else has gone home. Either that or he’s the dude who’s all over the tall, attractive model type at the Oscar party that his wife decided to skip. Oh yeah, that happened. It keeps happening. They were talking nose to nose. He gave her the full charm. A “later on” was definitely implied, while everyone around him just shrugged. Because it’s not the first time and it’s not the last time and it’s the secret they’re all expected to keep. Not because he doesn’t love the mother of his children, because he does, he really, really does. But between the pills and the alcohol, he’s losing control of that side of himself that’s been held in check for too long.

Top suspect: Ben Affleck
Update: Lainey has revealed this to be about Ben Affleck.