Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Lainey- her nickname for him

Lainey riddle - 

Her nickname for him

His attraction for her is understandable. Her attraction for him? Not all that clear, really. Unless size really does matter? For me, no. Size can be uncomfortable. For her, clearly a selling feature. Because she's been going around telling her friends about it. And her nickname for him, which she hasn't been shy about sharing, is "Monster Cock". Which is flattering, I guess, if you're in college or Vegas. But it's probably a little immature and maybe even a little disrespectful, all things considered.

Top suspects: Miranda Kerr/James Packer, Jennifer Lawrence/Chris Martin, Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Lainey- Notes on a love triangle

New Lainey riddle  -

Notes on a love triangle

She started out as a song girl, then acted, keeps trying to do both. At the beginning it was promising but mostly, over the last few years, it’s been a series of disappointments. Personally though, she seemed to have it together. A steady relationship, a solid commitment, no drama…
Or maybe it’s because we weren’t paying attention.
She and her playing partner have been having problems for a while. They’ve been trying hard to work it out. But that might not turn out so well if she finds out that he hooked up with a much more successful song girl, someone with a similar early sound and origin, though that’s evolving now. Despite her many changes, contrived or organic, this was probably not the intended image.

Top suspects: Mandy Moore, Ryan Adams, Taylor Swift

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Lainey - Drinks on the plane

And, another Lainey riddle, this one from Sept 10 -

Drinks on the plane

It’s an hour to fly from Toronto to New York. By the time you go up, it’s almost like you have to go down again.
But she was desperate, desperate for a drink. Even before take-off. Which was not allowed on this flight. She was told she’d have to wait. And she didn’t want to wait. Caused a stink about having to wait. Huffing and puffing, sweet features morphed into an off-putting bitch scowl. It was a scene. And she didn’t stop bitching until they put the first jack and coke in front of her once the seatbelt sign had been turned off.
That was followed by two more. Three jack and cokes on the flight.
So, maybe she’s afraid to fly. Maybe it was a terrible day. But with her history, and it wasn’t all that long ago, and the sh-tty influences she has around her, this is probably a concern, non?

Top suspects: Selena Gomez, Reese Witherspoon

Lainey - Oxy Love

Apologies for the delay on getting these recent Lainey riddles up. 

This one is from August 21 -

Oxy Love

To the outsider, they don’t seem to have much in common. The internet doesn’t seem to understand their relationship. But it’s serious, lasting a lot longer than people thought it would. How have they prevailed? Love, sure. And also…oxycontin. They’re both addicted to oxy and often spend days at home, wrapped up in each other, doing oxy, back to her old habits. But he’s been partying for a long time, somehow he manages to make the bare minimum at work. So when they hooked up, she just kinda fell into that lifestyle. It’s not like she has to worry about money. And it’s not like she has the kind of job where anyone’s waiting on her to show up either. She’s already a boss as it is and then there will always be a mirror to hold her up.

Top suspects: Mary Kate Olsen, Oliver Sarkozy
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