Blind Vice: Cheating Makes Everybody Crabby

Hi, sorry for the delay.  Monday's BV from Ted:

Blind Vice!  Cheating Makes Everybody Crabby

Ever wonder why hunky heartthrob Rick Danger-Zip split with his long-time gf Sunny Sweet-Cheeks? They seemed just perfect for each in that whole Britney and Justin sort of way, which is why it absolutely broke our hearts when they called it splits.
Well, here's the (itchy, crawly) deal:
Like so many superstars-turned-Vice stars do, Rick has it all: fame, money, and—shocker!—a good reputation. The good ol' USA couldn't get enough of his handsome puss and sometimes-charitable ways.
But Rick had something else that Sunny didn't find as appealing...
Crabs.
Yep, Rick picked up a pesky little case of crotch critters while he was out cheating on poor Sunny.
This wasn't one of those open relayshes that T-town horn dogs boast about while banging broads on the side. Sunny loved her dude and had no idea that he was hopping in and out of every bed in Hollywood.
Until his itchy groin gave him away, that is.
Shame, too, Sunny is drop-dead gorgeous and über successful in her own right. What gives with these guys not being happy with the amazing chick they have at home? Typical.
Well the formerly-tight twosome parted ways and Saint Sunny was kind enough not to tattle to the tabloids, but instead told everyone the two were totally cool and she was happy they could still be friends.
Yeah, right.
We're just tres pleased Sunny moved on to a new man who treats her right. She deserves it, after all the crap she put up with. And a kick start in her multi-talented career was an extra nice F.U. to her former beau.
But Rick found himself a new lady, too. One with big boobs and questionable talent (just how he likes 'em) and here's the kicker...he claims she's his one and only these days.
So, now the dim-witted gal is just sitting around on her tight toosh until her main man brings home another case of genital goodies. 'Cause you know Rick is still up to his cheating ways, dontcha?
You didn't think he had actually reformed did you?
And It Ain't: Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, Alex Pettyfer and Diana Agron, Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian

Also eliminated: Ryan Gosling, Michael Buble & Emily Blunt, Ashley Olsen, Emma Watson

Top suspects:

Lainey- Two Quickies

Which tv personality flirts dangerously with GHB and then, consequently, with strangers when he's relaxing from a hard day's work? So far it hasn't gotten him into too much trouble but it can get rough out there, even though he likes it that way.

A chronic cheater slept with the girl who has also been around a lot, and has had her share of infidelity too, on both sides of the equation, and while their hookup was very brief, he was becoming serious with his gf at the time. They are still together, and she doesn't know. About this time, or all of the other ones. So dumb.

Blind Vice! Super-Duper Cooper Peeved About Poop Scoop!

Newest BV from Ted...

Blind Vice! Super-Duper Cooper Peeved About Poop Scoop

We've filled you in on lots of the gross-out goss that goes on behind Vice stars' closed doors, and now one of the stinkiest celebs has finally caught a whiff of his own dirty laundry.
We're sure you can guess who, too...
Super-Duper Cooper, the superstar who likes his nookie with a side of No. 2!
And when SDC caught wind that we were blabbing about his penchant for poo, he wasn't too pleased:
'Cause the dude's going out of his way to make sure hotel insiders don't snitch to us again!
See, Coop was set to make his return to Sin City—and his smelly sexcapades, we're sure—but didn't want to leave a tell-all trail this time.
So like any good celeb worth their A-list status, he had his people take care of it.
We're advised that Coop's assistant called up every million-dollar, high-rise hotel the star has stayed in, including the hotel our partic chatty friend works at, and had a conversation that goes a little something like this:
"Hello! Hope you've been well! How are the kids? Blah blah blah, by the way, have you heard any rumors about Super-Duper Cooper lately?"
Our mischievous source, of course says, "No, why?" And that's when Coop's pal gets sassy, saying:
"Oh, there's just an old gossip columnists who's out to get Coop. They don't understand him because Coop is irreverent."
And when our in-the-know worker said that didn't keep up with the goss, Coop's fellow booked a room on the spot.
Hm, wonder if he'll be sure to clean up after himself this time.
Listen up, Coop, as long as you keep being so careless with your feces fun, I'll be sure to blab it. We can both be irreverent in that way, huh? But thanks for reading the blolumn!
(And for the record, you've kissed women my age and sure seemed to get off on it, dude.)
And It Ain't: Alexander Skarsgård, Charlie Sheen, Kevin Jonas

Please refer to the label below for a link to our discussion on the previous SDC BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: John Mayer

Part of our LIST is gone!

UPDATE:  The lost information is restored to the post.  No thanks to blogger... we put the information together on our own.  It's a little unorganized but bear with us.  Thanks for your patience.   See the label below to find a link to our "list of ted's reveals" post.

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Hi readers!


As you know, we have been keeping list of Ted's Blind Vice reveals, along with lists of who he has said has been a BV, and who has been confirmed was never having been a a BV.  This is helpful to refer to when making our guesses (if you follow Ted's rules that is)!


Well, I was updating the post the other day with recent info, and saw that a huge chunk was missing.  It is a large portion of the bottom list (people who have never been a BV).  It seems as if it's cut off the info from August 2010 on.  I have contacted blogger and they said that there was a blogger crash last weekend and a lot of people lost information.  Not sure if it will be recovered, but I have requested help and am waiting for a response of some sort.


As you know we all have other jobs and busy lives.  It would be a HUGE task to take on to repair the lost info from the list.  And even if we did, I no longer would trust blogger to NOT lose that info again.  It's not worth to keep a meticulous list of something if it can apparently be erased at any time by blogger.


So, unfortunately, we can not repair the post at this time.  If it is repaired we will do our best to keep updating it.  However, if it is not repaired and the info is lost, then it will not be updated anymore because too much info has been lost.


We hope our readers understand.  We will still post blind items and eliminations but can no longer be "anal" about Ted's info.  Thanks for your understanding!

Lainey- Producer after producer

New riddle from Lainey:

Producer After Producer

He has been sleeping with producer after producer - mostly females, any age, any shape - offering himself in exchange for opportunities. Any opportunities. While it's rather competitive among famewhores in the project he's best known for, it turns out he's the one who's most aggressive, most desperate, most willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead. Hilarious because it hasn't exactly been working for him until recently, a surprise gig.

Still, after so many tries, and other boys on the side in the city, and so many nights with much older lady executives, you'd think he would have gotten further ahead than where he's come to now which isn't all that impressive. Maybe that's why he decided to switch sides. Besides, it suits his true preference anyway. He'll do both, but men are what really make him happy. So he must not have minded when he laid himself out, twice, for a very high profile male producer with an impressive resume mentoring some huge names, recently, in the hopes of perhaps crossing over, straddling several different portfolios at the same time. If Jennifer Lopez can be multihyphenate, with one of those hyphens being a music career, I suppose it gives others hope they can too, him included. Never mind that there's an over 25 year age gap between them.

Top suspects:  Chace Crawford

Which celeb is involved in lawsuit?

Brought to our attention by Ted and the Awful team, we've learned about a lawsuit filed this week against a celeb.  Check it out!  Who could it be?  Here's what Ted said about it on Thursday -

Let's Guess the Super Rich Celeb Being Sued for Spreading Herpes!

Get a load of this: According to a seriously salacious lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court yesterday, an "A-list celebrity of substantial fame internationally" knowingly exposed a sex partner to the herpes virus, and that partner is now suing for $20 million.

So who is it? Here's what we know:

The culprit is male, worth in excess of $100 million and lied about not having V.D. On April 1, he lured the person (not ID'd as male of female, BTW) to his Las Vegas hotel room to watch porn and engage in "mutual oral copulation, mutual self-gratification, rubbing and massaging each other, play-wrestling, licking and (unprotected) intercourse."

Also, according to the suit, they did some drugs and, oh yeah, the celeb videotaped the whole thing.

We don't want to get too close to this story, but we're dying to find out which international celebrity is being targeted.

Surely it's not...

Leonardo DiCaprio, who's recently single and has been hitting the party scene extra hard lately? Leo notoriously loves Vegas, and his new film Hoover even had a sneak preview during CinemaCon (the official convention of the National Association of Theatre Owners) there on an overlapping date. But somehow, we suspect this is not something that helped lead to his breakup with poor Bar.

Also in Vegas a lot would be...

Elton John, but we simply have to refuse to believe the naughty culprit is the knighted, flamboyant singer. The new father and partner to devoted longtime love David Furnish wouldn't engage in such antics! Right? And lucky for this Vegas mainstay and Caesars Palace regular, Elton was in New York performing on Saturday Night Live at the time the accusations went down.

So, then, what, about...

Jeremy Piven, who frequents Vegas clubs and was definitely there a few weeks after the incident occurred, for a Mumford and Sons concert at the Cosmopolitan hotel? Word is Jerm has a thang for kinky sexcapades. But would we really consider him "an A-list celebrity of substantial fame internationally?" Uh, no.

So let's then move on to worldwide superstar...

Tom Cruise, who certainly has the bucks to pony up a payload like that. Not to mention it certainly wouldn't be the first time T.C. had been accused of some weird sexual peccadillo. But the point is, Tom and Katie are hardly debauched Sin City regulars, and besides, Tom sues faster than Scarlett Johansson asks Sean to smooch with her, and everybody knows this, so any loud legal action from somebody trying to get revenge: highly unlikely.

Hmmm, Vegas act and Caesars Palace cash cow....

Celine Dion is super wealthy and well known worldwide. We knew there had to be more going on than meets the eye with that grandpa hubby of hers! Open marriage? Conservative front for a kinky couple? Celine! Who knew? Oh, wait, the suit did say it was a guy, so, never mind. Too bad, it actually would have made us like you better!

But look, like we said, we don't think it's any of the folks mentioned above. CinemaCon and the Academy Country Music Awards both took place in Las Vegas around April 1, leaving tons of wealthy, raunchy A-list candidates.

So who the hell is it?!

Tell us who you think!

Then, Ted posted this update Friday, and gave the celeb a BV-like nickname: "Schmuck-Wad Stupid-Ass" -

Did a Blind Vice All-Star Give Someone $20 Million Herpes?



UPDATE: We'll admit—we may have gotten our gay panties in a twist on this one. 'Cause we initially pegged the herp jerk as one of our fagalicious BV fellows, but it seems there's a clue in the lawsuit that most prying eyes overlooked—that the screwed-over someone is a chick! After pages and pages of trying to hide the Plantiff's gender, the unlucky clerk wraps by demanding "her claims" go to trial. Whoopsies! Clerical error? Or not?
In that case, our money is on previous long shot Saucy Bossy and his sometimes-womanizing ways. Or possibly Crescent Kumquat, who likes to boink a babe from time to time and isn't a stranger to STDS (or the Vegas party scene).
And we can't forget Super-Duper Cooper, whose sleazy sexcapades make us want to barf every time. This kind of gross-out garbage is the stuff that made him infamous behind closed doors.
Either way, it seems the lying lothario is quickly dishing out the dough to cover his scandalous tracks. Ha! Like something this scandalous will just get swept under the carpet. Lawyers may be trying to throw us off this perv's trouble-making track, but we think we've got him nailed. So who's your best guess?

We interrupt this regularly scheduled Blind Vice to weigh in on yesterday's scandalous celebrity lawsuit.
(We were planning on telling you Shellack Attack has already ditched that dude she was two-timing her much more famous bf with, because the guy was just too plebian, poor Shellack's climbing as fast as she can!)
Which megaceleb is getting slapped with a $20 million lawsuit because he gave his sex partner herpes, and videotaped the whole unsafe-sex act as it was going down?
Hmm. We're just going to call this guy Schmuck-Wad Stupid-Ass, and we might add, he sounds an awful lot like some contenders from our Blind Vice Hall of Fame, right?
At the top of our guessing game would have to be...
Seymour Plow-Me More, the Hollywood A-lister who keeps on (time after friggin' time) flagrantly putting his homo out there in semi-public places, all the while maintaining an ostensibly heterosexual life for the media.
I mean, this guy has plane-loads of dudes flown all over the world—by straight pilots who talk! And this is just one example of how Seymour lives to take chances, as is clear from the lawsuit itself, if you read every little dirty detail.
Now, also known to take dumb-butt chances, once in awhile, would have to be...
Toothy Tile, who we're simply praying isn't this arrogant Schmuck-Wad creep. Come on, there's a difference between wanting to just get your sex on in a dark alley, say, and filming it while giving somebody herpes! Now, Toothy's made some pretty moronic moves in his life, but not even he's this dim—or full of himself.
Probably not quite this insanely risky, either, would be...
Fey Oiled-Tush, who just lives to set up his elaborate flying harems (what is it with closeted gay actors and planes, what, they think it's not going to get back to anybody because it happened up in the air?). But he also abides—just as vigilantly—on having all his tracks covered. In other words, all these witnesses must sign non-disclosure agreements, not that that crap actually stops people from talking, but it does succeed in creating a certain chill somebody like Schmuck-Wad Stupid-Ass has no desire to create.
A less obvious choice, too, might just be...
Saucy Bossy, who even though he does prefer the down-low company of other men, does—from time to time (and certainly more often than Toothy, for instance) actually date and have sex with other women. And there's something peculiarly plausible, if you read the details just right, about this lawsuit that leaves the possibility the "mutual self-gratification" that went on, prior to the unsafe intercourse, etc., could have been between a man and a woman.
But we still guess it's between two men. And who shows up more often in the Vice annals that that combo?
Tellin' ya, we've probably written about Schmuck-Wad before.

Then Ted posted this newer update June 22, 2011 -

Poll: Who's Behind the Priciest Herpes Eva?!

Remember that mystery A-lister getting sued for giving someone herpes?
Well the STD host/big-time celeb quietly settled, for $5 million. Yes, $5,000,000. Let's drool over all those zeroes. The plaintiff even wanted $20 freakin' mil, but we're thinking "she's" pretty happy.
Anyhoo, TMZ, the gossip blog that broke this fabulously sheathed (just not penis-sheathed) item, is steering clear of even saying who they think might be the culprit:
Not even a friggin' hint! What the hell's up with that, babes? Much like the Awful Truth has done, don't ever recall Harvey Levin's TMZ outfit holding back when they had a celebrity opinion—in the least!
Maybe it's because H.L. has some connections with the infected him (or her!)? Maybe it's somebody who's not so A-list, after all—or maybe TMZ just doesn't know? Fair enough.
Or do we just have the ol' boys club network in action here, some slut-dude like Charlie Sheen who's being protected because that's just what guys do for each other?
Hmmm, let's find out:

(poll)

Top suspect: ?

Blind Vice: Star From Afar Lives to Cheat!

New from Ted on Friday -

Blind Vice: Star From Afar Lives to Cheat!


Isn't it somehow comforting to know that those not living primarily on American soil can be just as debauched as, say, Jesse James? I mean, it's not just a Hollywood thing to nab your partner, then start cheating left and right, is it?
Just last week, we showed you how the Duke of Schlongsbury is launching much gossip in the UK, what with the Duke's womanizing (and girl-izing)!
And not so far away from the Duke's castle lies...
Sovereign Stein-Moongle's plush pad, where he, too, spends ample time luring whichever young things he can to his celebrated boudoir.
Only difference is, Stein-Moongle loves to nab the boys, not the girls.
Also, another distinction between Sovereign and the Duke is their partners. The Duke's doesn't know bupkes about his philandering, quite unlike Stein-Moongle's other half, who's known all about Sovereign's dalliances for many, many years.
And perhaps one reason the cheated-on other half doesn't mind too much?
This lucky (and super-loaded) spouse often joins in on the action!
Hmm. And people wonder why the Stein-Moongles have lasted as a couple as long as they have?
Jeez, is mutual cheating really the answer to true love? Say it isn't so!
AND IT AIN'T: Sir Paul McCartney, Johnny Depp, Hugh Grant

Also eliminated: George Michael

Top suspects: Elton John (although he is suspected for another BV; see label for him) David Bowie

Vintage BV: Shellack Attack, Meatless Member

 Since Ted brought back an old name, we dug up her old BV.  Here is the vintage Shellack Attack BV from July 2006.

Two Old-School Blind Vices: July 26, 2006

I swear, I'd love to tell you all the one about the reality-TV dude who's diddling other guys in the pools of Hollywood boy-boy shindigs, but that one's just as tired (ultimately) as the one I'm about to spill. I mean, come on. Okay, okay, so I will do--so to speak--the guy dish first: See, there's this boob-tube celeb who's, like, rather good-looking. Meatless Member has a nice face. Decent arms 'n' legs, sweet smile--but not exactly a whole lotta sausage cookin' in the kitchen down below. I mean, it was very nervy of M.M. to start having sex with other guys in the pool, what with every bitchy fag around, just waiting to spill the beans with no frank, as it were. But M. was horny, so he did anyway--so there. I'm hardly surprised Mr. Member was there at the posh address, frolicking at a homo-happening soiree in the first place, but most of (naïve) America will be startled, fer sure. It's all very snore-pie predictable.

As is Shellack Attack's latest man-romping move. I mean, many folks know Shellack's got a thing for the showier, naughtier boys--despite S.A.'s heart o' gold appeal. And this latest romance Ms. A.'s so very visibly involved in is hardly the surprise in that regard. But it should be. That's because sexy Shellack has finally found herself a man who has a bigger appetite for sno-cones, powder-style, than she does. And that's sayin' somethin'! Oy. Can't you infamous types out there please come up with some new Vices, besides drugs and dalliances? Can't somebody steal a script that results in an Academy Award from their best friend anymore? I mean, that's, like, what, a hundred years ago already, isn't it? 

And it ain't: Bart Simpson/Paula Abdul; Ashlee Simpson/Randy Jackson; Jessica Simpson/Simon Cowell

Meatless Member:

• Eliminated: Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell, Paula Abadul, Carrot Top, Ty Pennington 

• Top suspect in 2006 was Ryan Seacrest, but since then Ted has told us that he was never a BV.  Also Clay Aiken, Dane Cook were top guesses.  So.... ???

Shellack Attack:

• Eliminated as of 7/30/11: Jessica Simpson, Ashlee Simpson, Bart Simpson, Mandy Moore, Denise Richards, Miley Cyrus, Eva Longoria, Kim Kardashian, Vivica A. Fox, Salma Hayek, Sofia Vergara, Beyonce Knowles, Julianne Hough, Cameron Diaz, Halle Berry, Jenny McCarthy, Christina Aguilera, Jenna Jameson, Rachel McAdams,Hayden Panettierre, Brooklyn Decker, Katy Perry, Kristin Cavallari

• Top suspects: In 2006, was Heather Locklear; Also Natalie Portman, Pamela Anderson.  But now none of them seem to fit too well with the new BV from 2011. So... ???

See the label below for our post on the new Shellack Attack BV from May 2011.

Blind Vice: Two-Timing Fox Itching to Get Caught!?

New from Ted yesterday ... bringing back an old BV name I recognize from a few years ago.  We have posted the original Shellack Attack BV from 2006 above.  Here is the new one -

Blind Vice: Two-Timing Fox Itching to Get Caught!?


Shellack Attack, the very curvy celeb who's always making waves in the media, is also making waves in the bedroom. Even though everybody thinks Shellack is mad only for her current, A-list partner, that's not an entirely true statement.
See, Shellack must think she's a man, or something, because while she's telling her boyfriend (and the world, really) that she's just so in love and crap, Shellack's got another man on the side!
This is too funny. Not to mention precisely how men have been treating women for centuries. Such a pity Shellack's guy has to try the getting-used-thing on for size, huh?
However, Shellack's current boyfriend No. 2 is perfectly content to be used up, and stuff, and treated like the little plaything he is. Doesn't seem to bother him a bit.
But..Shellack's main man would absolutely crap if he knew the real score with his woman, who was seeing somebody else on the sly. And, quite frankly, we're certain Shellack get's off knowing full well she's in major time-bomb territory with the bf.
Of course, Shellack being Shellack, discretion's never really been her calling card, so that human time-bomb she's dating is about to go off pretty soon, we're certain.
AND IT AIN'T: Miley Cyrus, Eva Longoria, Kim Kardashian

See the label below for our post on the original Shellack Attack BV for a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: