Here is that BI -
Condom-Free Sleaze
Here’s a riddle for all riddles…took several weeks to research and confirm
because the level of atrocity is just so unspeakable. A legendary
philanderer, now that he’s allowed, managed to talk some random **** into
sleeping with him…repeatedly. She of course is an aspiring celebrity, like so
many young 20 somethings running around these days, obsessed with The Hills,
believing they can be the next Lauren Conrad, dreaming of finally “moving to
LA” and then when getting there, hooking up with any actor that can get them
papped while leaving a club. Why are some girls so
dumb? So dumb they get talked into sex without a condom, so dumb they
get knocked up? When he found out, of course he promised he’d make it
official…he’d legitimise her as his girlfriend but she had to, as you would
expect, get rid of the bump. A nice cheque and a bauble, along with several
thousand dollars worth of merchandise from Fred Segal came along with the
promise. Naturally she believes him. And she gets it done. And now
he won’t return her calls preferring instead to set up a few photo opps
depicting him the perfect single man. Her friends, seeing a cash opportunity,
are imploring her to run to the tabs. Only she’s in love and is afraid to ruin
her chances. So all she does is keep calling. Only to be met with
radio silence on the other end. Pray Xenu she finally starts singing
the jilted blues all the way to the National Enquirer. It’s about time this
sleaze loses what’s left of a dwindling fanbase.
* Update, this BI is suspected to be about Ryan Philippe.
