Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Lainey- How much does she know?

New from Lainey

How Much Does She Know?

She's not with her boyfriend anymore and we're to believe it ended amicably and for her sake, I hope so, but i'm not sure she would deal well with the fact that just a couple of weeks before their split was officially confirmed, he was on the road with someone else in his hotel room. The girl had the build he's known to prefer- lean and muscular- and she answered the door wearing nothing but her underwear and her hands covering her breasts. Seemed very young.
Didn't seem uncomfortable and, you know, did what she told and was supposed to do while he lay in bed, naked, kinda ignoring her. She meanwhile kept walking around without her top on, like it was totally normal. And apparently it wasn't the first time. All the time. For a long time. Which, for some reason, was a surprise to no one but his girlfriend, now ex, who never, ever, ever learns. Kinda like her successor, from another relationship, and why can't we give these girls some better love vision???

Top suspect: Cameron Diaz, Alex Rodriguez

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Blind Vice: Watch the Lip, Lloyd!

New from Ted on Friday.  Yet again, Ted has ever-so-slightly changed the name of a well-known BV.  Are we talking about Lloyd Boy-Toyed, or someone new named Lloyd Boy-Toy?  We are going to go out on a limb and for now say they are the SAME PERSON.  If Ted tells us otherwise in the future, we can always change our plan.

Blind Vice: Watch the Lip, Lloyd!

You know how some cheating husbands (like Arnold Schwarzenegger) really do want to get caught, so they do stupid things and leave obvious clues? Same thing with sexually conflicted Hollywood stars such as Crotch Uh-Lastic and Toothy Tile. Now, mind you, most closeted gay guys in Hollywood are more of the Fey Oiled-Tush variety and do not want to be known—under any circumstances.
However, there are exceptions, such as Crotch, Toothy and—we dare say—Lloyd Boy-Toy, who's totally pushing the gay envelope lately. Certainly the bisexual one:

Lloyd, always a most fascinating actor, is busy maintaining quite the dichotomy-filled existence: While he dates more and more (and younger and younger) attractive women, he's also continuing to hire male prostitutes.
Now, keep in mind these women Mr. Boy-Toy goes out with are not just pretty fixtures for the famous guy to be seen with, as Lloyd also enjoys sexual relationships with these gals.
But he's also just as enamored with young men, trust us!

Add to this somewhat complicated life path the fact that Lloyd's also been caught screaming anti-gay epithets, as Lloyd's temper has never been something he's too great at controlling. Hmmm. Wonder what that means?
Probably exactly what it looks like: The handsome guy's not only conflicted about how he feels about other people's sexuality (hence, his own), but part of him is dying to be called out for who he really is!
Keep up the name-calling, Lloyd, and that's exactly what will happen.
And It Ain't: Daniel Craig, Robert Downey Jr., Hugh Jackman

Please see the other posts on the previous 3 Lloyd Boy-Toyed BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect (if this is the same guy as Lloyd Boy-Toyed): Alec Baldwin

Update: Ted semi-revealed this to be Alec Baldwin on June 29, 2012.


Lainey - Franchise Fat

New riddle from Lainey Thursday ... it was actually written by Sarah -

Franchise Fat

He showed up the first time fit and fine but this time around he was rather round about the tum. The director noticed and was not happy, fearing for the consistency of the franchise. When asked to slim down, the slightly schlumpy star responded, “This movie isn’t worth it.” The trim-down request was rejected, and the show went on, but feelings were sore and things were a bit stiff until Sir Portly finished his scenes.

Top suspect: Michael Sheen

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Blind Vice! Slutty Star Sleeps Her Way to the Middle!

New from Ted on Friday Sept 16 -

Blind Vice!  Slutty Star Sleeps Her Way to the Middle!

Everyone in Hollywood is wondering who Portia Vajazzle is dating.
She flies solo when she's strutting her stuff on whatever red carpet she happens to be walking that week, and even though she's been linked up to some of the hottest hunks this side of Beverly Hills, she remains (shockingly) single.
Or so she says. You see, Ms. Portia is plenty busy behind closed doors...
"She sleeps with everyone," a pal very in the know about Portia's lusty life tells us.
Well, she won't sleep with just anyone. She's got certain standards that must be met, but we'll get to that in a moment.
So who did this young, gorgeous gal bed most recently?
Blind Vicer Stinky Carrot-Crotch, who is known more for his sometimes-silly jokes than his skills between the sheets.
Um, what gives, Porsh? You can totally do better than that dud.
Thing is, P.V. knows exactly what she's doing. She's a crafty chica and digs men with power. Well, uses men with power is more like it.
See, Stinky was more than happy to have her on the set of his latest flick when he knew how easy it was to get into her panties (ya know, if she's even wearing any to begin with).
It's the same stint Portia pulled with the movie before Mr. Carrot-Crotch's. And the one before that too.
We're not positive if Portia's been bedding these dudes to land the roles or just sleeping around once she's gotten the gig, but if we know anything about this town, we're guessing it's the former.
And It Ain't: Ashley Greene, Blake Lively, Jennifer Lawrence

Eliminated for Portia Vajazzle as of 6/16/12: Ashley Greene, Blake Lievely, Jennifer Lawrence, Olivia Wilde, Vanessa Hudgens, anyone from The Savages,

Top suspect: Mila Kunis

Please see the label below for our other post on the  original Stinky Carrot-Crotch BV.(Top suspect for him is Seth MacFarlane.)

National Enquirer blind item

OK we didn't actually see this blind item in the National Inquirer.  But I am reprinting Ted's take on it.  This was in the Awful Truth on Monday -

Which Film Hunk Is Crushing on a Gay Activist?

We love a juicy Blind Vice as much as the next gossip-monger.
Which is why we've been tres captivated with The National Enquirer's mysterious mention
of a hunky film star who's been seriously (but secretly) crushing on out and proud actor and activist James Duke MasonNow we know the Enquirer isn't always a beacon of reliability, but we gotta wonder: There's no way it's one of our favorite stars, right? Could it be...

Jake Gyllenhaal, who's certainly considered hunky, what with his buffed up Prince of Persia muscles and boyishly charming smile? And while Jake's currently single, he's just recently been linked up with Anna Kendrick and Rashida Jones. There's no way he's burned through all of T-town's babes already, right?
Or maybe it's the equally scrumptious and single...
Zac Efron, who's got the biceps and abs to rival any hottie in H'wood—with a very successful big screen career, to boot. Zacky and former flame Vanessa Hudgens parted ways and he's been flying solo since then, but those strip-club trips weren't a cover for a blossoming boy-on-boy relaysh, were they?
Say it ain't so!. Or could it be K.Stew's boyfriend...
Robert Pattinson, who is one of the hottest young actors in the world and headlining the biggest fanged franchise, like, ever. But he's happily in love with costar Kristen Stewartjust jet-setted to see her in London, right? He wouldn't possibly sneak around on his very own Bella Swan with a boy-toy, would he? and
And what about Rob's Twilight cohort...
Taylor Lautner, whose werewolf six pack has earned him quite the fan club. And James himself sent a mysterious tweet saying the Blind Vicer could "ABDUCT" him any day—could this be a clue to Tay's film Abduction or just a clever red herring? 'Cause certainly he wasn't faking it with cutie costar Lily Collins, was he?
Or maybe it's not any of the folks mentioned above? There are a lot of hot guys in this town...
Who the hell is it, then? 'Cause when it's really worth it, we like diggin' in other folks' blind gossip, too.
Sound off below!

Top suspect: Taylor Lautner

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Blind Vice! Diva Chiquita is Sooo Much Better than Every Body Else

New BV from Ted yesterday Sept 9 -

Blind Vice!  Diva Chiquita is Sooo Much Better Than Everybody Else

Oh Chiquita, how we missed your crazy ass!
NAYA RIVERA 8x10 Female Celebrity Photo Signed In-PersonYou remember our fave psycho TV starlet, right? She's the batty babe who slept her way to the top on her hit boob tube series, all while failing to get her former flame written into small screen oblivion.
Well, these days it's Chicky's big head rather than her man-trapping nether regions that has everyone whispering:
'Cause Chiquita is copping some serious diva 'tude lately.
Sources thisclose to Chicky's on-set stomping grounds tell us that the entire cast of the primetime staple was asked to do some extracurricular promotion for their upcoming season.
It's part of the gig after all, right?
Well not for Chiquita, who promptly informed the suits in charge that she was too big a star for that kind of nonsense and that her less famous costars could manage without her.
Which is exactly what they did. And we wonder if anyone even noticed Chiquita was absent.
Can you believe the ovaries on this broad?
Thing is, Chicky is hardly the biggest star on her show...at least not anymore. She hasn't been walking as many red carpets, booked as many big screen projects, or even landed on as many tabloid covers as some of her poor costars.
Hear that, Chiquita? You're losing your B-list status. Guess it's time to spread those legs again!
And It Ain't: Ashley Benson, Deborah Ann Woll, Polly Perrette

Please refer to the label below for a link to the previous Chiquita BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Naya Rivera

Blind Vice! Chutney Jones Gets the Last Laugh!

This was Ted's BV from Monday... Chutney Jones returns...

Blind Vice!  Chutney Jones Gets the Last Laugh!

You ready for a game of six degrees of Blind Vice separation?
Poor vanilla Chutney Jones never has any fun, right?
Right. Except that she did, for like one second there after slutty Jerry Rock-Butt dumped her snooze-worthy (but expertly toned) tush to bed a more sexually adventurous T-town chick—Kiki Doheny, of course. So what did old Chut do?
Jessica Biel 24X36 Poster #04Skanked it up with another Vice star!
We already told you that Chutney was getting her flirt on with Saucy Bossy, a bisexual superstar who's about as horny as he is famous (which is, very). Well things don't stay in the flirty stage with Saucy for long.
‘Cause he wanted action. And Chutney wanted to show she can live on the wild side.
A dangerous combo, no?
Meanwhile, Jerr was out trying to woo Kiki, who used him and abused him while smiling for the cameras the whole time, leaving Jerry to drown his sorrows in a string of waiting hussies. Don't take it too hard, J—it's what she does to all her men.
Thing is (and, trust, we didn't expect this), Jerry ran back to Chutney with his tail between his legs.
And as stupid as she is, she took him back! But Saucy Bossy has a nasty little STD that Chutney could have easily picked up. Guess only time (and some mysterious itching) will tell.
AND IT AIN'T: Minka Kelly, Jennifer Lopez, Ashley Greene
Please refer to the label below for links to our posts on the previous Chutney, Jerry, Saucy, and Kiki BVs, including full lists of who has been eliminated for Jerry and Saucy.

Top suspects:
Chutney Jones - Jessica Biel
Saucy Bossy - Jamie Foxx
Jerry Rock Butt - Justin Timberlake
Kiki Doheny - Olivia Wilde

Friday, September 2, 2011

Blind Vice: Cookie Muncher returns...

New from Ted today.  Another old one returns...

Blind Vice: Cookie Muncher Gobbles Ladycake While Her Dude Nabs Mansnacks!

Many of you seem to have been shocked, simply shocked, at the girl-on-girl desires of gorgeous Cookie Muncher. She has a thing for satisfying the ladies from time to time, see, and we don't mean by serving them tea.
Cindy Crawford - New DimensionWhat's the big deal? She's still much more into her handsome man than the chicks. She just likes to have her ladycake and eat it, too, no biggie.
Well, guess who else is into having some nice (beef)cake on the side?
Cookie's main man, that's who!
Makes sense. Now we know why Cookie's never hidden her lesbian-leaning side!
Now, this good-lookin' guy of Cookie's—who's less famous than his partner—is starting to get pretty habitual with his playing around, which was never really part of the deal he originally struck with Cookie. And he's getting a bit more flagrant than Cookie ever was, as well.
So, what does this mean?
Do you think Cookie will up her Sapphic game? Will she give her guy an ultimatum, or just go straight to handing him his walking papers?
Don't think so.
If we know Cookie like we think we do, she's just gonna ask to join in next time her guy takes his guy on date.
Cookie's a ravenous girl!
AND IT AIN'T: Sandra Bullock, Britney Spears, Reese Witherspoon

Please see the label below for a link to our post on the previous Cookie Muncher BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Cindy Crawford (and husband Rande Gerber)