Showing posts with label Frank Dangerfield. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Frank Dangerfield. Show all posts

Friday, December 3, 2010

Blind Vice Archive: Jackie Bouffant

Ted and the Awful Truth team have compiled a new chapter of their BV archive - the Jackie Bouffant archive.  Here is the summary for it:


Charlie St. CloudJackie Bouffant certainly keeps us guessing. This young-ish star has girls (and guys) everywhere drooling over him, with talent to back up his amazing smile.
But perhaps his best acting work to date is hiding his past: Before he hooked up with his very famous significant other, Jackie was more into guys than chicks. And he's working very hard at possibly kicking his gay habit:
The Perp: Jackie Bouffant
Primary Vice: Closeted celeb
Blind Bio: Idolized guy who has been involved with men and women. He had a semi-serious boyfriend, Frank Dangerfield (a practically out Z-List actor) but once Jackie's star power rose, he ditched the dude for a famous and gorg girlfriend. Now we've learned dabbling in drugs isn't the only (other) secret Jackie has been hiding. He's now stepping out on his beard, and you'll never guess who with.



It has been timeline-proven that Jackie Bouffant is Zac Efron.  See our other labels for our other posts and more discussion!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

One Young and Not-So-Confused Blind Vice

Here'a a blind vice from yesterday, written by Taryn Ryder while Ted is away on vacay.

One Young and Not-So-Confused Blind Vice
Mattel High School Musical 3: Senior Year Tree House Moment W/Gabriella & Troy DollsYou all didn't really think the hetero-Vice streak would continue, did you? Ted may be gone, but unfortunately, the closeting of some of Hollywood's most famous isn't going anywhere. Get ready to meet the guy who will have Toothy Tile breathing easy for a while.
Introducing Jackie Bouffant—a name you'd better get used to hearing. He's one of the most sought-after actors in the world right now. The undeniably gorgeous and multitalented young dude has taken the entertainment Biz by storm. His level of fame has been steadily rising over the past couple of years, although Jack hasn't really had to prove himself talent-wise just yet.
But with that face, hair and body, no one cares. This town is way too superficial!
So while Jackie is looking pretty in all the glossy mags with a beard constantly at his side (Crescent Kumquat or No-Beave Steve Jackie Bouffant most definitely is not), hardly anyone out there knows J.B.'s past life and love...
With another male actor, wouldn't you know?
At the time they started dating, they were both probably equally famous, but no one talks about Jackie's ex that much anymore. An equally gorgeous and recognizable face, he just never really amounted to much career-wise. Let's call him Frank Dangerfield.
Jackie and Frank were very much boyfriend-boyfriend, and they didn't do a very good job of hiding it. They went to a few gay functions together, a little hand-holding here and there à la Toothy and Gray Goose, and Industry folks knew the two boys weren't just going through an experimental phase. Unlike Nevis Divine, these two fellas are gay, gay and more gay.
But no one cared much because everyone (their managers and publicists included) thought these kids would just be F-list actors. Uh, not the case for Jackie. He became an overnight superstar.
So you know how it goes: Jackie's whole team of people tell him that if he comes out his heartthrob status will be shot and his red-hot career will go buh-bye. No teenage girl (Bouffant's prime fan base) will fantasize about growing up and marrying a gay guy. So Jackie dumps Frank and starts faux-mancing with some other babes around town.
Such a shame. And you all wonder where true love is in Hollywood? It's behind closed closet doors.
And it ain't: Channing Tatum, Kellan Lutz, Nick Jonas
Update 11/11/11 - Ted has eliminated Channing Tatum, Kellan Lutz, Nick Jonas, Bradley Cooper, Taylor Kitsch, Matt Bomer, Joe Jonas, Chris Pine, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake, James Franco, Alexander Skarsgard, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Matthew Morrison Chace Crawford.

Here is the link to the Jackie Bouffant BV from May 2010.  And here is the most recent, from December 2010.

Our top suspect: Zac Efron.  


* Proven by timeline of Ted's dates he was and wasn't a BV: Zac Efron
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