Friday, December 3, 2010

Blind Vice: Gay Jackie Sluts It Up With Lady Strippers!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Gay Jackie Sluts It Up With Lady Strippers!

It really is the new gay to go to sleazy strip clubs, didn't you know? First, Toothy Tile got into it pretty brazenly. Now Jackie Bouffant—the younger, fresher perkier version of closeted matinee idol Toothy—is pulling that greasy stuff!
And how.
Zac Efron 2011 CalendarJackie, who's so pretty he might be mistaken for one of the gorgeous-eyed babes in these joints, is becoming quite the fan of the pole-dancing set. But...he's taking it one heterosexual step further by...
Sleeping with women he meets there (as well as other places) on the side. On the side of his beard, that is!
WTF?
Well, on the one hand, we totally get it.
We wouldn't want to sleep with Jackie's prissy beard, either. But, Jackie's obviously hip to the fact that he's got to get some chicks talking about how well he gets his sex on—and what better way to do it than to put his little Jackie-tool to work!
For the record, just got to say something here.
Think we have a little Nevis Devine action goin' on, sweethearts. Now that Jackie—who still lives to get his boy-action on—has finally tasted the female side of (fabulous) sex, he's decided he may not be so averse to it, after all.
Interesting move, my man. Hey, get the best of both worlds, right? I mean, sounds like you enjoy it enough.
Totally unlike Toothy, trust.
And It Ain't: Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Matthew Morrison

Top suspect: Zac Efron (proven by a timeline of when Ted said he was not a BV and then confirmed as one - see comments under other posts.)


Links to the previous Jackie Bouffant BVs:  August 2009 including a full list of who has been eliminated; and May 2010.

22 comments:

PrincessTiff said...

There were reports about Zac going to the strips clubs recently. I think he even talked about it on Leno or something.

Side note--how do you ask Ted questions?

blurry vice said...

you can write to ted at his email address which is tedc@eonline.com . This site is in no way associated with E.

PrincessTiff said...

Thanks! (I know there's no association, but I always read people saying that they asked Ted something so I thought someone could shed some light.) :)

Queen Assumptress said...

I don't like that the gallery description of him describes his gf as "very famous" -- that's the only part that doesn't fit.

88 said...

@Queen

I agree. She WAS very famous, not so much anymore. But, I guess she's still pretty known around the world due to the success of HSM.

Janine said...

The blind item seems to indicate that his girlfriend is more famous than him. To me, that would rule Efron out. Also, it describes the girlfriend as "gorg". Vanessa Hudgens is cute as a button, but certainly not "gorg".

The Spie said...

Janine: Irrelevant. I've proven it's him through process of elimination and timelines.

Caz1310 said...

Vanessa has instant recognition for anyone under 13 (and their parents) and they were gorgeous together in HSM. She isn't the greatest actress - Bandslam was surprisingly an OK movie just wrongly marketed. Zac is a very good looking guy - ask any mum who has been made to watch HSM a zillion times and dragged to see 17 Again and Charlie St Cloud :) His kid/tween/teenager? fan base would disappear if he was known to like the fellas. Why strippers though - does he really need to stay with Vanessa to maintain his image?

Tara said...

True, there really is no one else that fits this according to Spie's irrefutable timeline.

So he won't get down with Vadge but he will with other chicks? What gives? Is it that she is more like his bestie or sister, or does he not want to screw up their relationship so the public persona stays in tact?

guinevere said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Caz1310 said...

Tara, I think it would be debatable whether he ahem, goes through with the 'deed' with the strippers...it's purely to give the impression that he at least likes the ladies. If you really think about it, as you noted, it doesn't actually make sense...if he is bi surely would be having a safe, actual relationship with Vanessa? Hello Robsten. Either way, what a sad way to live. And he's so young to have to already put up such a charade.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You said in a recent Bitch-Back that Jackie Bouffant and his beard are very close, and it got me thinking: Is she strictly just a beard, or have they been physically intimate behind closed doors?
—Ren

Dear Jackied Off:
Sure, they've dabbled from time to time. Haven't you heard, Jackie just loves getting it on with all sorts of über-skanky ladies now. Barf."

lollapopalooza said...

I just read on TMZ that apparently Zac & Vanessa (sp?) have just broke up, I wonder if this BV has anything to do with it?

Tara said...

So true Caz, who could put a little paying for publicity past anyone in h-wood? Certainly for this cause, the rumor could be false but started by Jackie himself.

Lolla I just saw that too--what if she wasn't down with said rumor?

hordac said...

Do you think she was trying to turn him straight? I would be willing to bet that alot of these beards have crushes on their beardees. For some reason I just always got that vibe from her. Maybe she had had enough. Ted acknowledged that they fooled around on occasion. That might have given her hope only to be disillusioned by this stripper stuff. Wow, I sure can spin a story, ha ha...

lollapopalooza said...

Oooh! There was a buzzfoto item today about a couple that recently split up because the male partner was hanging out at strips clubs and had a brief affair with one of the dancers! To me, this totally seals the deal that Zac Efron is Jackie Bouffant!

Tara said...

Hordac welcome to the club! I had a full on argument with my husband lastnight about that pic of 50 Cent w/Chelsea H in bed, all based on our theories!!

hordac said...

LOL - my hubby rolls his eyes when I talk about our theories, he does not believe ANY of this stuff, and would prefer to fall for the PR friendly versions of everything. I've given up with him, that's why I love discussing this crap with like minded people!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Kinda think you aren't très surprised over the demise of Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron...Though you are strangely mute on the subject. It even made the CNN ticker! What's the real story? I hardly think you are out of the loop. And thanks for being classy with your gossip...keeps me from feeling too dirty while I peruse your column!
—Dana

Dear Zorry Zanessa:
Babe, what makes you think I haven't already told you the real scoop? You clearly are digging the wrong section, babe. It's filed under Blind Vice. And for the record, I think they will end up back together at some point."

"Dear Ted:
My original guess for Butter Pussy was Queen Latifah, but after the last B.V., she doesn't seem to fit. Any more clues? Also, how's Jackie Bouffant doing these days?
—Susan

Dear Vicealicious:
You are correct when thinking Butter is multifaceted. Oh, and Jackie is doing fabosh! He's as happy as any young, gorgeous, totally horny dude can be. He's transformed his sexual confusion into, well, just sex with whoever he damn feels like! Not terribly unhealthy, for now."

"Dear Ted:
I remember you saying Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens would outlast Robsten. What do you have to say to the breaking up news while Robsten still going strong?
—Sin

Dear Gruesome Twosome:
That I'm like everybody else. I can be wrong on occasion. But keep in mind, I have a strong feeling we may have not see the last of Zac and Vanessa's time together."

amarvellousyear said...

This may be crazy and admittedly, it is not researched, but if Jackie Bouffant is Zac Efron then Ted's statement "Now Jackie Bouffant—the younger, fresher perkier version of closeted matinee idol Toothy—is pulling that greasy stuff!" immediately made me think of Leonardo DiCaprio (!) for Toothy - in similar looks & career path (or career desires) to Efron.

Tara said...

Leo was eliminated in the early Toothy days:(

noticebox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ad