Sunday, December 5, 2010

Vintage BV: Naughty Nina

And, since we didn't do one last weekend.  A second vintage BV for this weekend.  This one not solved.  Enjoy!

One Cheap-Ass Blind Vice: April 21, 2005

I'm as shallow as the next Tinseltown jerk. I like my faves, particularly Naughty Nina. So, I'm keeping her rep sorta clean here. But, hell, this bitch blows the dudes in the restrooms of only the globe's chicer establishments. I mean, like Neen would evah be caught fellating today's hottest rockers and celebs in the men's rooms of, say, an In-N-Out, or somethin'. Damn straight. Regardless, gotta take a breather here on the heavy-breathing Vices--this one's all about the green. Nina, whose friends are far more rich than she is (actually, that's one of the bigger scams going round town right now), is developing quite the rep for her miserly clubgoing ways. And what could be more offensive (to some) than hauling out your manicured privates or feeling up your boy-dates in public? Not leaving a tip for the waitstaff, that's what. Zilch. Nada. Not even a 'Thanks, I'll getcha next time!' She does this without fail. I swear, this shortsighted chintziness is going to do in N2 faster than her prophylactic-free playtime!
And it ain't: Nicky Hilton, Nicole Richie, Kimberly Stewart

Also eliminated: Lindsay Lohan, Eva Longoria, Tara Reid

Top suspect:  ? (was Paris Hilton but she is suspected to be Slurpa Pop-Off)

19 comments:

blurry vice said...

4/28/05 -

"Dear Ted:
Longtime watcher of E! News, and now I'm new to reading the online dish. I think Naughty Nina from One Cheap-Ass Blind Vice is Lindsay Lohan. The name has the same rhythm (no pun intended) when said. Is the new guy right?
Brian H.
Virginia Beach, Virginia

Dear Sandpiper:
No, but he's closer than Paris Hilton is to scratching Nicole Richie's tats right off her tush. Or is it the other way around?"

"Dear Ted:
Surely, Naughty Nina's particular peccadillo regarding men's rooms across La-La Land means Eva Longoria is not the only gal in town with halitosis, especially thinking about where some of those rock stars have been.
Jane

Dear Needs English Tutor:
Jeez, is that what it's like reading my column? Excellent guess (if indeed Eva is your choice for Nina) but, alas, a wrong one. Think more obvious--sorta like neither of us writes."

"Dear Ted:
I'm guessing Naughty Nina is Tara Reid. I've always wondered how an actress like she could afford to have publicists and all of that when she is probably not making more than a few hundred thousand dollars per movie.
Margaret W.
New York City

Dear Moolah Mad:
How much do you think flacks cost in this town? It's not like they're stylists or something. Besides, it ain't the very perky T.R., whom I adore, fallen rack 'n' all. Think less stacked. "

pomme said...

was Tila Tequila yet popular in 2005?

Caz1310 said...

Mischa Barton? Wasn't she super famous round about this time (when OC was huge? Didn't she hang with the same set as those listed?

125records said...

I don't think it's Tila -- she wasn't really famous on the national scene until 2007, when "A Shot at Love" debuted, although I guess it's possible she was already known in Hollywood by then. According to her Wiki page, her first major magazine cover was Stuff in April 2006, and it seems like she started getting some publicity for being popular on MySpace around that time. 2005 seems just a tad too early.

Nicoleo McChip said...

Bijou Phillips

Georgia Barrett said...

Bijou is a really great guess, actually. All of the AIAs are rich daughters, born into wealth. Nicole and Kimberly are the daughters of rock stars.

Georgia Barrett said...

I'm going to guess the late Casey Johnson.

cassandra said...

mischa barton or eva mendes, just because he said eva longoria was a good guess...

kadixonlaw said...

Oh, I like the Eva Mendes guess. Although, I seem to recall that she was the top suspect (or was it confirmed?)of another blind involving an actress preening about a coffee house. Of course, that may have been a blind item on one of the other sites...

Georgia Barrett said...

I feel like both Mischa and Eva have other Vices, though I don't know the timelines.

As for Tila, was she already a "celebrity" in 2005? and he did say someone less "stacked" than Tara Reid, so I'm guessing it's someone without implants.

kadixonlaw said...

I could be way off, but the AIA's make me wonder if it's another celebutante (along the lines of Paris Hilton and Kimberly Stewart). I feel like there may be some obvious choices, but I'm completely blanking right now.

cassandra said...

idk i've seen a lot of the older blinds and i this is one of the first that hasn't eliminated mischa barton so i'm leaning towards her

PrincessTiff said...

How bout Brittny Gastineau? This is around the time her reality show was on.

kadixonlaw said...

Yes! Brittny could be it. Wasn't there a story around this time about how the Gastineaus were close to bankruptcy or were going through some "difficult" financial times??

BlahBlahBlah said...

Whoever said Bijou Phillips I was thinking the same thing, club goer, daughter of rock royalty, and friend of the Hiltons, Ritchie, Lohan etc

PrincessTiff said...

I couldn't find anything on a Gastineau bankruptcy, but she always seemed to hang out with people financially out of her league, despite her best efforts. I emailed Ted. We'll see what he says.

Jessica said...

Casey Johnson

Gabby said...

I mean obviously it's a celebutante but I feel like using both Nicky and Nicole as AIAs would just be too obvious hints towards Paris.

Gabby said...

and p.s. about Eva Mendes - is it just me or does anyone else get the gay vibe from her?

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